Our so called leaders could barely get a flock of sheep to fall off a cliff without using a nuclear missile.
Theresa May or May Not ask the House of Commons to vote on anything more importantthat whether milk should be in bottles like whiskey.Or in view of our anxious condition, whether whiskey should come in 4 pint cardboard containers saying:Use with 24 hours.
In Britain we claw and bite tourists speaking Spanish on the Tube while we gladly go to Spanish restaurants [ 2 women are charged with assault on he Underground]
If you miss the sense of community engendered by War,why not move to Gaza City? It might be hard to get in but ,boy, is it hard to get out… alive.
If you feel bad, just thank God you are not a farmer in Gaza.
Israel, where tickets to the Theatre are free.Bring your own wooden tower.
Ever wondered what it would be like to have a lunatic in charge of the world? Wonder no more.
Are adverbs bad? Not if you like crossing out with a red pen
My son passed out after receiving Communion.I thought Jesus being Jewish it would have been unleavened bread but it was a sponge from Tesco’s or an india rubber from, possibly, India.Well ,talk about constipation.They should have put detergent in the wine.
I’ll never fall in love again.I’ll swim.
Make your own quotes with 26 letters and a few commas.And a full stop.
All the words enraged.
My writing career ended at the bus stop.The brakes came on too suddenly and I ripped my notebook in half.Which half I can’t tell.
I used to write lyric poetry until I realised I didn’t know what lyrics are.So no I mimic instead
The curlew rolled the bell into the hay
The flowing bird ran boldly up a tree
I bought its lovely nest from off Ebay
It left me soiled in dark pests, what a flea!
How my heart sings 