That epileptic wit

 This shows the perils of dictation!
I am really happy with this speechnotes it’s an app’ actually you can get it as an app from the Google Play or you can just look online and get it.You use it online; you don’t have to download any software which is particularly good if you use a Chromebook, You can’t download any software on that anyway .
I wanted to do a lot of the things I was using on my Windows computer like Artweaver; you can get very similar things online, for example instead of art weaver for which you have to download software you can use pixlr editor which is meant to editing photographs.
It’s online so you don’t have to get software and I have looked at it and used it quite a lot .Many of the tools that you can use are almost identical to Artweaver.It seems a bit unfair really because I think with Artweaver there is a professional version and I have never felt  my work has reached that point where I need a professional version because I use it to make my own style of pictures.which are not like everything I’ve ever seen in books Because when I started doing it I couldn’t find any books about it so I just play with it and I suppose  the first thing that really affected me was very , very simple it was inverting the colours in the photograph. I had a photograph of some people standing by the church gate in the marketplace. It’s a Norman church it’s quite attractive ; for some reason, I think accidentally did it.I am very surprised by it ; it looks as if it was taken at night with snow on the ground ; I don’t know how to explain it but it affected  me .so initially that’s all that I used to do.
At some point I’m ,where are the things that you can do right ,use a tool on your own picture that is called Curves, if you move it up and down you can change the colours sometimes quite dramatically and then there were two pictures and that which I think are very, very good one is made from a photograph of my leg with my hands on my calf and it’s Just in brown and cream and it’s a very moving image .
Another one that I believe is very good partly because it has many people saying that but I agree with them.It’s from a picture of the gardens at Melton House and it’s a  tall, old brick wall with a Wisteria in a corner so you know if someone said to me will you make another one like that ,I wouldn’t be able to do  one exactly like that be honest I do so many alterations that I don’t make a note of these, sometimes I remove them and change it back then make changes even more and it will be impossible to tell you how I got it unless I was willing to spend hours and I know it in every possible move and what the  consequences for the picture which I’m not willing too do  because I want to do  more creation.
I don’t want to explain things to peopl.on’t know why but I must confess that they have complained about me explaining things too much and that might be a factor possibly and also with your teacher life  while find that my husband used to say things about me telling you how to do things and saying it is because I was a teacher but I don’t think it was. Is it because he was asking me how to do things like put a light bulb in and were af three point plug on symmetrical object leaving know how to do it so hard to explain it or show him I found it he is very somebodI and if you’re still playing it to work um i’m not gay yetyet but maybe I started explaining all things seem like the meaning of the universe. I think that’s the other way around that that’s what he would  explain to me or anything anyway sometimes when you’re intimate with somebody for a long time you do to get to feel hurt a very angry with them and he got angry that often and I think sometimes it when he was on his medication for diabetes you get hypoglycemia when the blood sugar falls very low and when that happens, you can get very aggressive. you felt myself about the People next door he went up to the premier shop to pay their they’re not supposed ability to one for the paper shop and ask them for some meat she’s a lady his new told him no but she’s a further along but after a few minutes he went back in and they forcing me to go and she told him she thought he should come home and luckily he managed to walk the 10 minutes or so alright without falling and the previous night or the one before I left her name is it had one of those dreadful parties and we both couldn’t sleep the whole night and I suppose it’s not just that you’re awake it’s the fact that you can’t do anything about it because they have been rather nasty to have when they first came here so we came down the street and he was his wife is there any buses running in a graveyard or I can see if wife is my Russian Jewish boyfriend also what is who’s very very white skin new is very dark hair and brown eyes, well my husband was really pale you went next door banging on the door somebody came out and he said to them in a very loud voice next time you have a party tell us and we’ll go away for the weekend ;well after that they never had another party; sometimes they used to have parties that they have no music at all the only time that their daughter’s 16th allowed out of a party in the back garden. Ravenstone Hitler’s plans for the young people because before somebody probably put it on Facebook and there was a hello in Ireland as it happened I think I am gastric food and I was in bed so is on the other side of the house but I’m still here around the Manor Croft I said hey what’s going on I said I don’t know it’s Charlotte’s birthday anyway before very long where are the fire and it wasn’t because one of the young people that are epileptic fit and he or she had not taken their medication with them so she ran across the road and not him that are delightful never tells you she really is a saint she makes you feel better when you’re with me even though you don’t speak or tell her anything just being with her,you feel better.I found that after my husband died t and she will come to a person trying to revive this teenager waiting for the ambulance and the side gate open all the young people walked out in a line and  walked away down the street that was the end of the party the personal MBA collective it was ok nothing he could have been in the music and if they are those lights what are they called strobes that can bring on an epileptic fit even if you don’t normally have epilepsy is very strange thing because many of the saints like Saint Paul for example had a vision ;if you now thought that some people with it in fact they were epileptic and when you have a bad fit that you can see either demonic figures or you can feel very wonderful person this week she wouldn’t share with you as being from God wouldn’t you to Christianity mobile let me hold you to him ; epilepsy if St Paul’s hadn’t it epilepsy then he wouldn’t be any Saint Paul; that makes you think doesn’t it
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In such captive grief

How like a prison is my cubicle
How wary is  my body on this chair.
How still my heart and yet how truly fickle.
How fast it flies to you who are not here.

How elegant your letters and your thoughts
How gentle was your touch upon my throat.
And yet you killed  my words and all I brought...
You were no lover but a randy goat.

As in this mental jail I'm  neatly trapped,
I'll use this time to write and  also pray.
Perhaps my mind can extricate a map..
From which I'll plot the route to get away.

The prisons which seem external are inside
Yet in such captive grief, we humans  die.

The unthought known

photo1401
There is a very strange concept now in psychoanalysis called
” the unthought known”,
I think it refers to something in the patient which they experienced and so know but they had not then learned words ,so if it was too painful it constantly bothers them  yet they can’t explain it or tell anyone.This is why psychoanalysis takes so long and even then I am unsure if a therapist can supply what the mother couldn’t
Perhaps if we know that we will never understand some of our feelings and worries but can accept them even if we don’t want to. then we can live with them.

Woman kept for 20 hours on a trolley in a mixed hospital corridor next to a tom cat.

snow
BBC weather,Brough in snow.

Mary was going to the hospital wearing her new magenta padded coat and an orange felt hat just like the one her mother used to wear when she went to church, although her mother had never had an orange hat. It would have been considered  very bad taste.
In her hand was a long green handbag ; inside this  sat her cat Emile.He was very naughty because he wanted to come to the hospital with her. Emile being a cat will probably not be admitted into the waiting room if she mentioned it to anyone; however ,she was hoping he would keep still.
She did not want to let the cat out of the bag at the wrong moment ,especially when she was seeing a lady doctor.
But the staff are so busy they might not notice that he is a cat and  before he knows what is happening he may be admitted to the hospital and left lying on a trolley in a corridor for 25 hours. Unlike a human being, Emile is not very patient and he will certainly not lie prone on a trolley all night waiting for the kindness of strangers. As a matter of fact he speaks good English and could easily hold his own in a male ward. Nowadays many of the wards are mixed and would you want to wake up in the morning next to a Tom Cat. That would certainly hit the headlines .
Woman kept for 20 hours on a trolley in a mixed corridor next to a tom cat!At least he is neither a lion nor a lamb.
BTW Theresa May asked corridors to be relabelled as wards and  bathrooms  to be labelled as,
Wards for one with ensuite.
Where will all the other patients be able to relieve themselves….commodes?

I asked the nurse to give to me her food

Oh evil chance,  one day this week I fell

They  sent  me to thehospital , such fun!

I saw the lovely  nurses in the hall

And hoped they would not send me to the bin

 

The x-ray of my  hand  caused horrid pain

The curled up finger straightened with a push

And this impacted me, my body and my brain

And on my face , it caused a  curious flush

 

There is no obvious fracture to be seen

They reckon it’s a tendon that is stuck

It’s rather difficult pulling up my jeans

What goddess  has given me such luck

 

The snow down fell , the  wind was fierce and  cold

The weather matched the Misery of my moods

But when I had some coffee I felt bold.

I asked the nurse  to give to me her food



I  truly enjoyed going out today

And now I’ll sell my memoirs on E -bray

 

When I did this using the microphone it came up with some very rude words.Of course,  the computer does not know that they  are rude,I suppose!

It runs in the family

Oh,yes,I do lovely handwriting

Just like my dad.

It runs in the family

And I like chip sandwiches with butter

It runs in the family.

No, I can’t do cryptic crosswords.

Or enigmatic looks.

It runs not in the family.

I read too many clever books

Instead of earning money.

It just runs in the family.

Yes, we are all music freaks.

We listen to Schubert and Schoenberg all night.

It runs in the family.

We are all impolite.

But we can’t help it cos

It runs in the family.

Yes, we all use four letter words,

It’s a free country, besides,

It runs in the family!

And no we can’t write poetry, you see

Writing doesn’t run in my family.

But, we all practice monogamy,

So far, though, unsuccessfully,because

Adultery runs in the family.

Which puts a slightly different complexion on the phrase

“It runs in the family”

But, alas, all of my ancestors are dead.

It runs in the family!