The jokes for today

1.A Christian,a Jew And a  Muslim were walking through the Mall  looking for a Coffee Shop.
They found  a new one  with lots of seats so they went inside and sat down.The Jew went over to the counter and asked,do you serve Cappuccinos?
The waitress answered,not usually, but in your case I’ll make an exception.
And my  two friends?
Are they Cappuccinos as well?
Well, they are people of the Book like me.
I’m sorry .I meant to give it back.Are you going to fine me?
No, give us free coffee and  we’ll say no more.
2.You know all those Coffee Shops staffed  by foreigners?
Yeah.
The Government is  going to build 7 meter high walls around them.
So America is going metric at last!
3.How can you tell I am a foreigner?
I’ll just shout.Wanna see a foreigner!
4.Why do we fear Arabs?
Because they invented al-gebra.
5.Why is the Pope a man?
We  just have to take his word for it.
6.My husband asked me,what is post-modernism?
I replied,you didn’t need to marry me  just to find that out
7.My wife asked,why do my rock buns fly away?
I said, because I am trying to kill that spider on the ceiling.
8.My son asked me to lend him my car for a week.
I said,it’s alright son, you can neck  here at home.
What about my Oedipal conflicts?
Use PayPal instead.
9.My daughter has got  big blue eyes.
Where did she get those from?
Her  grandmother.
Is  she dead?
Not yet but Jesus wants her  whole heart.
Don’t tell me he does transplants now!
10.I want to  go to the lavatory.
They have closed all the public ones.
I should think so.Who wants to be watched all the time?
You’ll have to go in the telephone box.
I only have a Nokia 105.
Didn’t I tell you to get a phablet?
I’m not smart enough to spell that!

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