A pencil skirt is ambiguous to wear,
If you look good, then men’s eyes wander where?
And if obese then love handles distract
With critical review folk’s eyes are stacked.
An elastic waist is frowned on though it’s kind.
And frees one from the body to the mind.
Trousers too have perils of their own,
When buttocks are like oranges not bones
A maxi dress may be a perfect choice
If you’re rich and drive a big Rolls Royce.
But if on public transport you must move
Take care, the hem may catch in some stray groove.
Isadora Duncan wore long scarves and wraps
And so by accident, her death was mapped
I guess you might as well wear apple peel.
For if you’re stout, it grants a strange appeal.
But if your friends and neighbours ever moan
Wear a trench-coat of the colour stone
For if it rains you will be well prepared;
And if the sun shines, you can soon be bared.
How my heart sings 