Vibrate with me

img_20200111_143221I have made  an  odd number of mistakes
How can you get even?

What’s odd about a mistake?
It’s the error

I dream while I’m awake
Better take a sleeping pill after breakfast then

The ghost always comes at midnight
Can it tell the time?

I think the light made me jump
I  just can’t believe in those photons attacking you any more.
Why not?
I’ve seem the light

Numbers can also be operations
I wish my lump could need only a number to remove it
A number of operations?
The number is the operation but it might be complex
I love your imagination
Which proves you have one too

Dirac does not sound like an English name
Neither does Battenberg

Was he Jewish?
He still is.
But he’s dead
Like Jesus isn’t?

Why did Heisenberg laugh?
It should be, when not why
Why?
You can’t laugh and cry simultaneously
Are you absolutely certain?
No,I am  a postmodernist
Are you sure?
You’ve got me now.
Why, am I  playing   dumb?
Put the lid  on it
I’m not a piano, yet. 
I’m mute with shock
Was it electric?
No, it was  visual.
I see nothing wrong
That’s denial
You can’t prove it
What, is it right and wrong together?
It’s  fuzzy
I half believe
If only we’d done algebra
Why?
It uses letters

 

 

 

The purest soul in physics

 

 

Asarum-Jade-Dragon-2https://physicsworld.com/a/paul-dirac-the-purest-soul-in-physics/

Extract

1st Extract

Like all scientists at the highest level, Dirac was not afraid to descend from the pinnacle and discuss more down-to-earth matters. Here are two examples. Much of our knowledge comes from light scattered by matter; in particular, that is how we see. In a clever stroke of lateral thinking, Dirac realized that the quantum symmetry between waves of light and waves of matter implied that it is also possible for material particles to be scattered by light, a ghostly possibility that could be observed, as he showed in 1933 in a paper with Peter Kapitza. This was observed for the first time about ten years ago and the manipulation of atoms by laser beams is now a thriving area of applied quantum mechanics – a fact recognized with a Nobel prize last year (Physics World November 1997 p51, print version).

2nd extract

Dirac stories

It is not my intention to write about what sort of person Dirac was. But I must mention the genre of “Dirac stories”. He was so unusual in the logic and precision of his interaction with the world, both in and out of physics, that tales have become attached to him and have acquired a life of their own. I suppose it matters to a historian whether they are true or apocryphal (or as Norman Mailer says, “factoids”), but to us they have a deeper resonance that transcends fact. Resisting temptation, I retell just two less well known ones.

Like many scientists, Dirac was known to sleep during (other people’s) lectures, and then wake and suddenly make a penetrating remark. Once, a speaker stopped, scratched his head and declared: “Here is a minus where there should be a plus. I seem to have made an error of sign.” Dirac opened one eye and said: “Or an odd number of them.” Another time, Dirac was at a meeting in a castle, when another guest remarked that a certain room was haunted: at midnight, a ghost appeared. In his only reported utterance on matters paranormal, Dirac asked: “Is that midnight Greenwich time, or daylight saving time?”

 

And died in peace

My husband was a very selfish man
He gave me polish in a brand new tin
That was for the furniture not  for me
Well some may lose yet others might well win

He thought that I was programmed by my genes
To bake him cakes and polish  wood and brass
To cook lamb chops and boil  potatoes new
I said we did not learn that in  the maths class

Then he grew enraged that I was bright
He told me off for playing Chess  with men
He told me off for  reading Wittgenstein
What could I do  but drink   all of his gin?

He complained  I knew the villains in a film
My brain was far to fine to make me dear
Perhaps I was a witch   in angel’s clothes
Drinking tea like  others might drink  beer

After he’d unloaded all his  grief
He thanked me for my  love   and  he died  in peace

The wall

Sitting on the neighbour’s wall
Nobody around to see
Waiting for the minicab to call

Life seems  like a trial not a ball
I wonder why I’m feeling so free
Sitting on the neighbour’s wall

Why is there a mirror in the hall?
Shall we see a demon  drinking tea?
Waiting for the mini cab I called

I wish I were shopping in the Mall
If you think I’m silly,I agree
Sitting on the neighbour’s wallB

What is   meant by promiscuity?
Where is there a  public lavatory?
Sitting on the neighbour’s wall
Waiting for  the Lord to cut the cord.

 

 

 

Is that clear?

People slept in  A & E last night
Sunderland, oh what a ghastly site
I can beat that, my man died
In A & E four years ago,surprised?

He was only there for 18 hours
When he ran out of  any  kind of power
He smiled benignly ,closed his eyes so  blue
I thought, this is the end of me and you

 In fact I did  not realise the truth
The nurse apologised  with bated breath
The cubicle was small but very clean
But not much privacy   for those who scream

So when I  sang   the psalms  the whole place heard
Perhaps they all had nightmares, being scared
No Chaplain came, it’s changed to D I Y
After that it’s  cherries in the sky

After death the patient is  released
From all the tubes and bottles, wonders cease
So then I met the audience outside
Ten doctors listening  to my singing voice

I do not think  a  better death could come
And anyway my precious man was gone
They expressed their sadness  at the lack
Of beds in wards where men could die dumb struck

The papers make a picture that gives fear
It matters not where we sleep,is that clear?

 

 

Deep the soil

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Photograph by Mike Flemming 2020 copyright

 

The ancient bricks are crumbling   making space
For living creatures humble,self effaced 
The  wallflowers waver on the topmost ledge
Leaning out to watch the hurried pass

The sun shines from the East in blinding glare
Shadows shorten .trees bud ,Spring is near
My baseball cap protects my eyes and skin
Even the  most strong  will never win

We take the humus ,grow our crops and flowers
When our time is  done,   we will not cower
Gratefully we love  our neighbours,friends
Right until we reach the very  end 

Then with the  bones of innocence we lie
Deep the soil  and deeper still the Eye.

Should I comfort you?

What you mean is I should comfort you 
You  are grieving for the man so kind
You miss my husband, that is  merely true

I know the loss has made your  heart feel  blue
 I didn’t realise it  also makes you blind
What you ask is I should comfort you

I wish that you would   find cures for   Chinese Flu
That you would be forced to  change your mind
You miss my only husband,  is that true?

What d’y mean. .. you don’t know what to do?
Don’t ask ,me  for guidance,I’ve resigned
Why do  you ask  what I can do for you?

I only wish that I had married two.
But here   it is not  legal so to bind
You miss my only husband,  will you sue?

Do you write on paper filled with lines?
Do you  feel beneath this ground are mines?
Why do you ask that I should comfort you?
I’m the one bereaved and I am through

The fashion page

What to wear in winter,
What to wear in Fall
What to pay your bills with
Money talk appals

If you read the Guardian
They keep you up to date
One page is genocide
Next how to find a mate

Seems a  denim jacket
Lined in wool of sheep
Will be ideal clothing
For those we love to meet

Standing at the bus stop
I feel very cold
Seems they do not think about
The poor folk and the old

Of course it’s for the adverts
Not for real life
Not for  poor  dear husbands
Nor even poorer wives

Why if we are human
Cannot we decide
What to wear in Winter
Not be taken for a ride

Wild wallflowers

Wallflowers grow among the ancient stones
From the highest part they cling to  life
Reminding me of Devon  where we roamed

In  the cliffs of Beer, wild  from sea foam
We saw their flowers one  happy Easter time
Wallflowers grow among the ancient stones

Down there I feel there must be little bones
From birds and animals that long time died
Deep in Devon’s cliffs, its muddy  lanes

The wild flowers live  in verges  left un-mown
The little herbs we  crush as on we stride
And wallflowers grow on clffs  or ancient stones

Most of our wild places are unknown
In these tiny homes  God  still resides
I’m humbled by our place in  nature’s schemes

In a flower’s heart designed  to guide
The Lord himself   is wont to   from us  to hide
Wallflowers grow between the ancient stones
Memories  of  much love not passed nor gone

I   thought I hated God  but Love had struck

Only my despair made me static
Paralysed by  grief and guilt I failed
By the end I had tried every trick

From prayer unthought to deeps of pure logic
My  life, my engine ,shuddered off the  rails
I hated God and of “his” Church was  sick

Starving  and alone I was in shock
The death of one I loved   had made me frail
At the end I had tried every trick


I felt  love’s hands around me,  death to block
I knew   this goodness,  why else would I wail?
I   thought I hated God  but Love had struck

Warm and golden light  that  did me hold
Where are you now when refugees  die cold?
Kind despair  that  made me long time sit

By the end I knew  Love needs no tricks

 

Thank God, they never freeze

I’m getting some new glasses
To wear upon my head
I think they’re multicoloured
Better red than dead.

I need  a pair of new ones
In case I lose my this pair
I think they are transitional
Does anybody care?

I went to Cafe Nero
I could have been in Rome
The people were so beautiful
I’m reluctant to stay home

Then I went to visit Lorna
A friend with three degrees
She  has orchids on her mantelpiece
Thank God, they never freeze

 I left the heater in the hall
In case the cat was cold
Blacky cannot speak  yet
But he is growing bold

He runs out via the kitchen
When my back is turned
He’s like a  nuclear weapon
So fast he causes burns

I listen to Mr Cohen
I like Jenny Warnes
She sings  his famous songs  again
I feel like I’m reborn

Now it is the weekend
I   like the book reviews
I like to be with my old friend
Forget about the News

The Fire

The fire  shot out its sparks  like Catherine wheels
The coals  were living creatures and red-faced
Now I’m angry,I know how  they feel

We said night prayers with hearts like stainless steel
Said them fast as if prayer were  a race
The fire  shot out its sparks  like Catherine wheels

My mind was wriggling like an angry eel
As if it sought for subjects to out-face
Now I’m angry,I know how that will feel

The outside stiff, the inner self revealed
The fury at the loss of love’s embrace
The fire shot out its sparks like Catherine wheels

We were raised to keep our wounds concealed
To show no affect, keep a stiffened face
Now I’m angry,I know how that feels

Never given love  nor even praise
Is it a surprise we were ill graced?
The fire  shot out its sparks  like Catherine wheels
Anger made our hearts dance violent reels

Mary meets a man

 

New cats todayI

I am doing research into which place people watch TV, the young man at the door told Mary
I rarely watch TV, Mary informed him
First please tell me your name and ethnic group .he asked her.We must follow the rules ,if not the rulers. he muttered
My name is Danish so I am a Viking, she told him proudly
OK, that makes you English, he said deftly filling his form
You might as well say that the Romans  descendents  are English, she said in her mellifluous voice
After 2,000 years I think they qualify, he joked
Some were black
I don’t care if they are purple, he said courteously.At some point  those born here are English.
What we mean is that there is no such thing as being English,Mary said academically
So true, the poor man John  whispered.I am a Celt.Not a cult. You seem a very nice lady.Would you like to go  to McDonald’s with me? We could csrry on chatting
Do  you mean come?
Come or go,   give me an answer.do
I know it’s not where you usually go but I don’t earn much.
Yes,I’ll meet you at the bus stop at 5 pm, she answered.I don’t  have a car
Neither do I, said John.
I like this bus.The people on it are really friendly
Mary shut the door and  wondered what to wear
Annie appeared and tapped on her window with her manicured hands
You are just who I need,Mary cried with joy.
She explained her  problem and her date
I think jeans and a nice anorak with a scarf that makes you look grotesque
Will John like that?
It’s the fashion,Annie said pertly.I am amazed you are going out with that man.You don’t
know who he is.He might be  a murderer.
I doubt if a psychopath would take me for a burger… more likely a posh restaurant
Good point, said Annie brightly
Let’s look at my scarves,Mary said.How about this zebra print?
I like this blue one with books printed on it,said Annie
I could wear  both of them!~
You could start a trend, her dear neighbour told her
Meanwhile Emile was having a panic attack in the kitchen
Don’t panic,Emile said Mary.You can’t linger in McDonalds
The seats are small and close together
Tell me, which scarf do you prefer?
I like that one with cat’s eyes on it.Wear that and he will know you have  a protector.
Honestly, it’s too much bother to decide.If only women had fur like cats,Mary said
What about shoes? called Annie
I’ll wear the green trainers and red socks
You will be a sight for sore eyes if you add some makeup
On hearing this, Mary screamed hysterically.
I think I’ll stay at home

And so will all of us

The boats on Windermere

When I wake up in the morning I think you are still here
I feel warm and cosy but it doesn’t last for long
The  sudden shock  of memory  fills my heart with fear

The memories of  Brancaster,  of the seats on Southwold Pier
Soothe my  inner being as if I hear birdsong
So I wake up happy,thinking you are here

The cottage of our honeymoon, the love that was so dear
Even though you’ve gone away, with you I will belong
The sudden shock  of memory  fills my heart with fear

Waking up completely seems to  be ,well,  insincere
Here are my  two pillows on the floor where they’ve been flung
When I wake up in the morning I think you are still here

I walk into the bathroom,I must wash my hair
I see your tartan handkerchief, it dispels my song
The burdens  of the  memory ,heart  filled full with fear

I get aching in  my heart, aching lasts so  long
But I will keep on singing, the cat ain’t got my tongue
I wake up in the morning, I think you are still here
But  then  return  sweet memories,  like the boats on Windermere

I love you Eliezer,  yes, it’s you.

 

 

 

audience back view band blur
Photo by Lucas Allmann on Pexels.com

I love you Mr Cohen ,yes I do
I see you and hear you every single day
I have a secret passion just for you

I felt  deep sorrow ,I was feeling blue
I tried to see and hear it  in your  way
I love you Leonard ,yes I do,I do

The End of Love is never, in my view
I love your band when  you all  sing and play
I have a secret passion, it is you!

I seem to follow like you are a clue
If we met I wonder what we’d say
I love you Eliezer,  yes I do.

The puzzlements of love  and hate  are due
We who feel your questions ,feel half crazed
We  all have  secret passions just for you

I love Picasso,and I love Paul Klee
I love the blossom trees that bloom  in May
I love you Mr Cohen ,how I do!
I  cannot hide my passion, it’s your due

What is language for?

Sgwd-yr-Eira-1985.jpg

 

It is too often forgotten that the gift of speech, so centrally employed, has been elaborated as much   for the purpose of concealing thought by dissimulation and lying as for the purpose of elucidating and communicating thought. – Wilfred Bion

A hundred years

The widowed man and I near drowned in tears
When meeting  by the bus stop down the road
Missing those who  loved us all these years

Through loss itself , we’re  vulnerable to fear
The face shows each one’s  horror like a code
The widowed man and I   gave way   to our deep tears

We think we’re on a plateau,  we ignore
That we are on a  downward slope, age goads
We’re missing those we loved despite  old scores

The cold wind and the rain  were listening ears
To our sad speech when comfortless, alone
We’re widowed  and  enraged by   salty tears

Is this pain a selfish one to share
Waiting for our little bus  to show?
We’re missing  our old lovers and their care

Now we know not what to eat  or dare
We both catch on,  this hint that life’s unfair
So widowed both, enfeebled by  lost tears
Between us we have loved a hundred years

art

Imagination by Charles Rycroft

Freud and the Imagination

ytAsarum-Jade-Dragon-1
“I should perhaps here state explicitly something that will, I suspect, already have become  clear; that I have no wish to dilate on the psychodynamics of the literary imagination. I must, however, state my impression, my conviction, that people who possess negative capability to a high degree seem not to conceive of themselves as opposed to an alien environment which they have to master by “irritable reaching after fact and reason,”    but   rather as a part of the universe which is capable of absorbing the whole into itself and then re-creating it by distillation in imaginative works; in other and psychoanalytical words, their relationship to “external reality” remains identificatory, without any drawing of impermeable ego boundaries between themselves and other people and other things. And secondly, they seem to be refreshingly free from the conventional notion that activity is masculine and passivity is feminine, and can therefore oscillate between active and passive states of being without feeling that their identity is threatened by doing so. As a result they can, for instance, imagine themselves into characters of the opposite—or rather other—sex as readily as into characters of their own.”

 

 

Go well

The brother silenced by disease lies still
Like a cat lies in the hedge awaiting death
Where are his choices, where his powerful will?

Freedom’s an illusion we  distil
He  felt he had  free choices on his path
 Oh,brother  frozen by disease be still

To the strongest , losing choice is hell
But death will come despite our  crashing wrath
There are few choices, little we can will

The lowly lean on God when they are ill
Like  Jesu did, they bear their heavy cross
 Oh brother will   your frozen muscles kill?

Only rich folk ask to be fulfilled
They have  their  own  wishes as their boss
Accepting all we die.sweet animals

He’s left  it late to act , which  man can choose
To  find the  ghostly fire where burns the rose?
The  soul prepares and bears the body
  still
We  only choose  our  attitude , go well

The entrance  opens to the  hall of dreams

I wrote this in November but I reproduce it as it relates to my post about Dreams

 

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This photo is by Mike Flemming 2020 copyright

 

Enlightened by  the    feel of  soft sunbeams
Knowing it is  stronger to sit still
The entrance  opens to the  hall of dreams

The eye grows wide. our vision   limpid leans
Until our  reverie has   got its fill 
The mind’s intentions and its wandering schemes

Warnings come in nightmares, how to heed?
The pain grows stronger like a workman’s drill
The pathway   leads to far more fearsome dreams

Are we  puppets strangling on our leads?
Who ‘s the master, who  must pay the bill,
Receive the mind’s intentions and its schemes?

High and low  let interact  and  tell
How  to find our way  and what   to kill
The entrance  opens to world of dreams
The mind’s intentions, its mutating schemes

Our dreams are the last wilderness

silhouette of tree during golden hour
Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Pexels.com

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FROM:

The Last Wilderness

Private Myths: Dreams and Dreaming

by Anthony Stevens
Harvard University Press, 385 pp., $15.95 (paper)

 

EXTRACT

We must heed Liam Hudson’s (1985) warning that dreams are our “last wilderness,” to be protected with the same fervour as the rain forests, the ozone layer, and the whale. As the only natural oases of spiritual vitality left to us, dreams are among our most precious possessions and we must stand up to those who would diminish the value that we place on them.

 

The shades of green, the sun the wind ,the gods

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Image by Mike Flemming 2020 copyright

So my copse has  ripened to a wood
How many living creatures dwell within?
The shades of green, the sunshine, and  the Good

Once we  had three apple trees,a glut
Today, too old to fruit, they stand there still
My copse has turned into a  little wood

Neighbours  hint that I get  my trees cut
Yet these leaves of green make my heart full
The shades of green, the sun the wind ,the gods

Once we read there was a total Flood
Now we have the bush fires and their will
Still, my copse has turned into a wood

Trees have their green sap where we have blood
They will never wound,  will never kill
The shades of green, the sun the wind ,the gods

Just like Eve and Adam we may sin
The maple waves away my mental pain
My copse has turned into my private wood
The shades of green,  the long path, come my Love.

 

 

With the people who fall through the cracks.

The child too shy to join  a little group
Or shamed by her old clothing  and her shoes
The one who feels they don’t fit in or match
The one who suffered early from the blues

The barren wife, no virgin yet unused
The girl so clever yet she was well bruised
The middle age of suffering ends and views
The loneliness  of age  with none amused

The man too nervous to make any move
The man who cannot pass  yet cannot love
The aging figure hopelessly bemused
The sperm still leaping,never to be used.

Some are in and others are outside
How few stayed with Jesus as he cried!
If we were more like him we would now mix
With the people who fall through the cracks.

A hint of suffering in the edge of eye
A hint of sadness by  the mouth denied
A hint of being tired of one’s own life
A hint that maybe someone wants to die

Charm

My brother charmed the ladies on the bus
He charmed the teachers and the parish priest
When at home he spared no charm for us

When I asked him  why he said,because.
Those do best who say the very least
My brother charmed old ladies on the bus

I asked him to be kind; said he was
I ate   the green herbs  at his marriage feast
When at home he had no charm for us

With age he  grew much closer, in the blood
He was  not  a   friend , he was a beast
My brother charmed old ladies and the fuzz

Now  he’s  changed, he’s almost getting  good
We seem  more  like each other in  life’s tests
When at home he had no charm for us

I don’t  know why he fought.I had no  rest
But I bequeath him love if I go  first
My brother charmed old ladies on the bus
Now at home he  has learned  charm for us