No words existed in its welcome hold

Struggling in the black of sinking sands
As I heard of when a little child
I gave up hope and let myself descend

My garments as a mourner I did rend
Death itself was shown me and beguiled
Struggling in the black of sinking sand

Far away from loved ones ,with no friend
The suffering of the past seemed almost mild
I gave up hope and let myself descend

I felt from every heaven I had been banned
With demons  of the Nazis  in exile
Struggling in the black of sinking sand

I am not inclined to make demands
Yet then  a mystic light caressed my soul
I  had lost my hope and feared  the end

This  golden light  enwrapped me like a stole
No words existed in its welcome hold
Struggling in the black of sinking sands
I was lifted out by  unknown hands

 

The Old Latin Mass

Tantrum ergo,rhodedendrons…..

We used to have Latin at Mass.

And later we learned it in class

Tantrum ergo

We must forego

As the Church built a new and bright bypass.

We used to sing, Credo in unum.

But some of us sang, Cried in your one.

Our soles were all healed

Partitions were sealed.

Et qua nostalgia nos animadvertum

Hum

Emotional responses to interpersonal rejection

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4734881/

A great deal of human emotion arises in response to real, anticipated, remembered, or imagined rejection by other people. Because acceptance by other people improved evolutionary fitness, human beings developed biopsychological mechanisms to apprise them of threats to acceptance and belonging, along with emotional systems to deal with threats to acceptance. This article examines seven emotions that often arise when people perceive that their relational value to other people is low or in potential jeopardy, including hurt feelings, jealousy, loneliness, shame, guilt, social anxiety, and embarrassment. Other emotions, such as sadness and anger, may occur during rejection episodes, but are reactions to features of the situation other than low relational value. The article discusses the evolutionary functions of rejection-related emotions.

Seven Great Novels Written By Poets ‹ Literary Hub

https://lithub.com/seven-great-novels-written-by-poets/

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This is a very interesting article and one reason why I like it is because of poets who write novels are probably well acquainted with the literature and their skills of observation, notice small things that we don’t always see ourselves and and the command of the written language is probably sophisticated.

The one area where poets may not the best writers of novels is that they may find dialogue hard to create.

We all have limitations in what we can observe because we grew up in a certain culture a certain social class if British.

I had a religious upbringing and although I no longer believe in the way that I did because I don’t think you can prove the existence of God logically find my unconscious mind is still very much affected by that and I’m not sorry about that.

I don’t live it what we call sacred to the about load as defined by the Catholic church there are many things that we can call sacred. Love or friendship can be sacred.

It’s always useful to read somebody else’s opinion about a writer of novels because there’s a lot published and we can’t we all them and we don’t want to waste our time or money

My grandfather was quick with advice, but it’s a poem about self belief that stayed with me

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/feb/10/my-grandfather-was-quick-with-advice-but-its-a-poem-about-self-belief-that-stayed-with-me?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

What causes cognitive decline: it’s not all dementia

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/cognitive-decline-predictors-besides-dementia#Identifying-predictors-of-cognitive-decline

Since dementia only accounts for 41% of cognitive decline then the rest of it is caused by factors which you can improve by for example exercise going for a walk also you can can you use your brain more by trying to learn a new language or like chess learn how to do arithmetic faster. That’s useful in the supermarket to estimate how much money spending as you walk around, learn to cook something different don’t always eat the same things go to the same places use the same routes to get somewhere try to do some of these differently at least once a week because otherwise your mind seems to get into a rut.

Even if you have got dementia you can still improve your brain because 60% of the cognitive decline is not due to dementia.

I have observed that someone with dementia will have worse symptoms if they are very anxious. I promised to see somebody and then I had to go to the hospital. When I contacted her later she was much worse than usual. She accused me of having a letter which said I was not going to see her. But as soon as I said I am here I’ve been to the hospital and I couldn’t phone you.

Immediately to return to her normal condition and we were able to have a talk and

I read her my poems that she liked about Essex and burning the stubble

She flattered me where’s her comments and tell me I should not keep my poetry for my own secret joy I should publish it.

And then she use the phrase my own secret joy which seems to be is definitely not a cliché but something original which she had this sort of most of her mind was fine

You must not covet your neighbor’s partner

Abraham Isaac and Jacob were the three sons of God. Then god thought that three was too many so he let them die and then he just had Jesus sometime later it wasn’t really later for God because God is eternal and there is no time when he said it to so they all existed at the same time innocence because there was no time

Already discussed Moses and the fact that he was an eruption. No one has ever found the volcano but it could happen again and when Moses comes again which mountain will you go up to find the new commandments? To

I don’t think that you will want to go up Helvellyn. Snowden will be too cold for him I think Orrest head Windermere will be about the right place. We are not a strong as the ancient Israelites because they spent 40 years in the desert and that would have kept them very fit we spent 40 years in front of the computer or a television and my legs where’s the way why fingers get bigger and bigger and your eyes ar as big as

fried eggs.

What will the new commandments be when your neighbour doesn’t have a wife or husbandmm?

Coveting a partner does not seem serious

If people don’t believe in God the they won’t see one or even tree

But I think tm that you must not restart a computer on the 7th day

Your face is etched upon my heart

Your face is etched upon my heart.

I knew you in the morning light

Love is wise but never smart.

We have no need of others charts

In the mornings and the night

Your face is etched upon my heart.

As we waken sleep departs

To see your face is my delight

Love is wise and sometimes smart

Intuition, craft is art

Love is silent, hatred fights

Your face is etched upon my heart

Human Love can see in part

Face to face we’ll see aright

Love is wise love is not smart

Your face is etched upon my heart.

Love is wise but never smart

Is love blind? Who etched the lines?

Sacred, human, love is kind

I did not lift my head

Drawn towards the tunnel deep and dark

if I entered then my life was done 

My voice was mute my choices few and stark

I looked for help but no help  had then come 

Paralysed by grief and fear I stayed

The time went by and I sat still and dumb

I did not lift my head nor say a prayer.

Until I learned a golden light had  come

I was wrapped in love and comfort warm.

No words were spoken yet I seem to hear

I felt absorbed in love and held in calm.

Turn back to Life he said for I am near.

He changed my heart because it had turned black

Love had entered through  a little crack

The late

Trial and horror

The patient woman killed her husband dear

When she spoke never seemed to hear.

She hit him with a frying pan, it broke

Full of eggs and bacon , but not toast.

The husband had long hoped to kill his wife.

Yet he could not cook to save his life.

The house was far too small to kill a cat.

What will the judge and jury say to that?

Do not be too patient with your mate

Otherwise you’ll both called the late

I am patient

A good few years ago I had to have surgery on my eyes and and it was not totally successful but I can see ok with my left eye. In fact that my husband used to complain about this if I could see better than someone with both eyes. It took me a year to recover from the surgery because of my eyes went oval.

When I was recovering I took up knitting and made what I thought was shawls but I found  people were hanging them on the wall. I think I think it was the colours.

Be more ambitious I thought. I decided where you started off with one then you had three because that was easy and from then on you increased twicebin the middle of the row. I had a lot of leftover mohair so I decided to to to make the shawl striped.

As I knitted the number of stitches increased and when I got to about 60 stitches sometimes I wasn’t sure where the middle was and I had to count all the stitches on the needle which was circular to make sure I was in the right place so all went well until I got to about 90 stitches and I need needed to count them again so I began to one of the 49 50 51 52… 80 81 82

Before I  got to the middle my husband me a question about something else so I answered him but then I had to start counting the route again. That happened about 5 or 6 times and I began to feel annoyed.

I said to him,will you look at me. And then I said can you see all this kniting on all the circular needle I am trying to count the stitches and I’ve tried 6 times no lw but you interrupt me before x in the end

Please look at me before you speak and if I am counting do not ask me a question but if I am just knitting you can talk to me or ask me a question

I felt like hitting him on the head with any implement to hand. Then knocks on the head are dangerous especially if you are short sighted.

I didn’t lose my temper and I think if I had lost my temper it would have taken me a long time to recover from it because he didn’t know what I was doing but I wasn’t reading so he thought you could talk to me I wish I could remember what he wanted to ask me now that I am alone. How I wish  he was here to interrupt me.

The Skill of Patience – Columbia Metropolitan Magazine

https://columbiametro.com/article/the-skill-of-patience/

Search 

Learning to accept daily frustrations

By Thomas Barbian, Ph.D.

Patience is a virtue! Or, at least that is how the saying goes. But is it really? Patience is defined as “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset,” a definition with several important components. Patience is also a skill. We can work on increasing our ability to be patient and engage in practices to become a more patient person. 

Before looking at how to develop more patience, it is best to define what we are actually talking about. Patience (or the lack thereof — impatience) occurs in response to some sort of difficulty or delay in life that is not going according to expectation. A day can hardly be lived without encountering something that interferes with our plans, and so we might say that the “interferences” or “disruptions” are a normal part of life; to expect otherwise will make it difficult to be patient. 

The suffering of the old

The pathos of her howl cuts through my bones

Dementia is the illness noone knows

For hours of night and day she calls again

The staff are underpaid,yet care remains

Yet should sick people have to hear her. cries

As some of us will live yet some will die

Oh, gentle Light

I ‘ll try to get it right just one more time
You did not converse with me in words
You were simply present with your Light

Nowhere did I feel your power and might
You were no eagle, but a little bird
I ‘ll try to get it right just one more time.pp

Who made our language with its subtle rhymes?
The ancient people had their well trained Scribes
You were always there,oh gentle Light

You gave me warmth, you changed my too fixed sight
A comforter , a Spirit, how describe?
I ‘ll try to get it right a final time.

The agony inside me lost its bitep
I wanted to go on, to be alive
You do not always show your golden Light

We do not know when we at last arrive
We do not reach this meeting place by strife
I ‘ve tried to get it right this final time
I never saw such Gold until that night

Choose not death

The crushing grief when someone chooses death
When life had shown much promise and much hope
Turns the ones who loved to find new paths

Some may sin, encouraged by cruel wrath
Against the one who chose the wicked rope
The shock of grief at such too early death

Others freeze and cannot take a breath
Scarcely moving as their mind elopes
Making then impossible their path

The mountains of deep grief I could not pass
Until a warm gold light caressed my0 heart
The wounds of grief , the sacrifice, the Mass

Do not dwell in darkness and distress
Follow me he murmured while we start
I will help you find a different path

The golden light had brought for me a chart
The sea of life had ripples ,brilliant sparks
The suffering and the grief from such a death
Turned the one who loved onto this path.

The silent indifference of God or dollars

The Argentinian poet, essayist and short story writer Jorge Luis Borges (1899–1986) wrote that all poets are really just one poet, a universal consciousness, a single mind. He believed that our earthly condition is necessarily broken and incomplete, and that our recognition of this state of being is a requirement of our potential enlightenment. He thought that this brokenness can give us a glimpse of and perhaps a path to that greater existence of which we are a part.

The brokenness of existence is Leonard Cohen’s theme. Incompletion perpetually striving towards completion. The agony and ecstasy of love. The silent indifference of God.

A film set in a geriatric Ward based on a play by Alan Bennett

It’s the sort of institution familiar to Eyre from the experience of his mother, who spent 10 years in an exemplary county hospital in Dorchester. “The care was wonderful. The nurses loved her,” he says, sitting swaddled in a ski jacket in an old storeroom at St Ann’s. “But then they changed the policy and said: ‘We’re not having geriatric incurable.’ So they pushed her out to a care home. She was dead within a week.”^^