Category Archives: humor

What is nonsense in the modern age?

To write nonsense one   must think it first Then translate thought into a  little verse But what is nonsense in the modern age? The more I hear, the more I feel enraged. Yet Lewis Carrol made a lot of notes … Continue reading

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What nonsense

Writing nonsense is extremely hard Writing rubbish verses can annoy Nonsense has some style, some meaning too Gyre and gimble till the spies  find you Read aloud it makes me laugh and cry Borogroves are woods where mancipes die Wabe … Continue reading

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I don’t like  the odour of your shoes

I am good and you are evil now I decide and you must  just agree I am  your superior and how! I must be the bull and you are cows You are blind but I can truly see I am … Continue reading

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Cured in hell

My doctor diagnosed me so well The pharmacist sent me to Hell The heat cured my joints Despite devilish taunts So we’re off for a weekend in Rhyl The doctor  has grown a new beard He looks more mature than … Continue reading

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Mary meets her neighbours

Sitting on the high backed,v Ercol sofa  in the large sitting room of her new neighbours Tom and Edina, Mary sipped at the PG Tips tea she had been given in a pseudo-art deco mug.The tea tasted pseudo as well! … Continue reading

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Like children

We once rolled  like children down a slope We stopped the car to climb the grassy bank As if we were reliving some lost hope Ecstasy  is way  beyond my scope My mind is always veering to the  blanks We … Continue reading

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All I do for IPSO Mori

Someone rang me last week saying they were from IPSO Mori They are doing a survey.They want   me to write down everything I do for either a week or  a month I wonder what they mean by “everything” I was … Continue reading

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What it seemed to be

Mourning has broken Imbibe with me E bay in a manger. Type to say Goodbye O come all ye wrathful/awful They sent baiting for our partitions Guardian angels,  Telegraph demons All on an apron even. Enhance me with the sense … Continue reading

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Their lover wants a burglar to alarm

How sad I think of washing the bed sheets When my partner  holds me in his arms Instead of kissing me  he   might well shout Do I get more pleasure as I sleep Dreaming of a Bendix  and its charms~ … Continue reading

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Ye olde limerick

I once like to make apple tarts I was never much good throwing darts To add some confusion I had a delusion That life can be lived as an Art I like making quiche  while at home The smell of … Continue reading

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Where is paranoia on my sat nav?

Why have you not got schizophrenia? Because it wasn’t on the shopping list Why  the panic? No, it’s  a punnet  I want some nutter Do you mean butter?’ When I say nutter I mean it Do stop knattering What is … Continue reading

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How is this?

An unusual image by Mike Flemming 2020 Copyright I have got more and more incontinent. Do stop admiring Europe Why do the government tell us to eat more fruit and veg? To help evacuate the Common Market from our bodies … Continue reading

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A million kindle fires

Do you think my house should be rewired? Should I enlarge my kitchen,go for broke I have got a hundred kindle fires I wonder  why I cannot be a liar I have  got less faith  but still I hope Do … Continue reading

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In the slutch

My mauve silk trousers  fell off in the slutch I ‘d read the fashion page on Friday night  Whatever did they mean,  do bring  the pitch? In heels my entire body seems to lurch My mother often muttered, what a … Continue reading

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Oh, good Lord, don’t let me be your prey

I forget that I am old  until I’m out Walking like a cripple in a drought People tell me,dial 999 I don’t want to be so well defined  Getting off the bus, five people call Wait until he stops or … Continue reading

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It’s wyrd

  I’m a loud speaker Are you really? I’m a  gramophone needle Can you speak? If I couldn’t I wouldn’t be able to answer Your clothes are very loud No, your eyes are too sharp Can you turn up my … Continue reading

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And died in peace

My husband was a very selfish man He gave me polish in a brand new tin That was for the furniture not  for me Well some may lose yet others might well win He thought that I was programmed by … Continue reading

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The fashion page

What to wear in winter, What to wear in Fall What to pay your bills with Money talk appals If you read the Guardian They keep you up to date One page is genocide Next how to find a mate … Continue reading

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The Fire

The fire  shot out its sparks  like Catherine wheels The coals  were living creatures and red-faced Now I’m angry,I know how  they feel We said night prayers with hearts like stainless steel Said them fast as if prayer were  a … Continue reading

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Mary meets a man

  I I am doing research into which place people watch TV, the young man at the door told Mary I rarely watch TV, Mary informed him First please tell me your name and ethnic group .he asked her.We must … Continue reading

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