Category: feelings

What we do depends on what we see.

What we do depends on what we see.
By writing, I can change my own fixed view
Gain perspective, focus less on me

And to others, make an simple  plea
We can look again and see anew
What we do depends on what we see.

How the world is, how it ought to be
In my writing, I make my own review
Gain perspective, focus less on me.

Replace the  “ought” by “possibility.”
A little change beats crying, feeling blue
What we do depends on what we see.

If God exists, will she with me agree?
No doubt she’d have a wider, higher view
And share perception with someone like you

Would our world be shared by love, virtue.
A willingness to wish ,desire the true
What we do depends on what we see.
Perspective, focus, possibility

Bitterly sweet lockdown

drawing-genrleman
I confess to doing this funny little drawing ,Katherine

We  loved each other lately  life was sweet
Till lockdown ,isolation , iron walls
So we’ll have to speak .oh we’ll have to speak
From the opposite side of the street

We  hoped we’d live a while   before the grief
As we said on our long  video calls
We  loved each other, we loved to love each other
So our lives were  bitterly sweet

We longed to touch, to hug , to kiss at least
But unlike cats  we would not caterwaul
Now we’ll have to  feel , oh, we’ll have to kneel
On the opposite side of the street

We may be wrinkled with  bright yellow teeth
It has been known for  both of us to fall
We  love each other, yeah we love each other
For old age is not a defeat

We  loved   our neighbours, even those deceased
We’ve had  hard times but none that bit so deep
How can we   feel ,oha how can we feel
On the opposite side of the street?

I wanted you beside me when we sleep
I’ve even bought us fifty five new sheets
We  love each other, yes, we love each other
So our life is succulent, sweet
But how can we   touch, how can we  keep in touch
From the opposite side of the street?

 

 

 

Even in  the rain, light gave him joy

The first warm days, the birds sing in their nests
So brilliant is the sun it seems new born
In the shady green I take my rest

The art of living cannot be a test
Nor can it leave a lover all forlorn
The first warm days, the birds sing in their nests

When surprised by joy, we regain zest
Despite the costs of living and its storms
In the shady green let’s take a rest

Before he died,  he sat,he gazed  out West
Even in  the rain, light gave him joy
The bright, warm days, the birds sing in their nests

I remember Arnside, green and blessed
The hills across  the bay where we  have climbed
In the shady green let’s  dream and rest

In our childhood there the patterns form
Hope  to harvest now the rich, ripe corn
The clear blue  days, the birds  keep warm their nest
In the shades of Arnside  let me rest

 

So poignant

When you gave me that last smile  I knew
You were on the way to Paradise
My  singing voice had brought great peace to you

Sitting in a place in A and E
Quietly waiting, watching your closed eyes
You gave me that last smile  and winked at me!

You never changed, your humour was not new
Winking at the ladies undisguised
My   little voice had brought great peace to you

I felt embarrassed by the crowd I drew
In Suffolk  I could  have sung till I near died
When you gave your  smile I  guess I knew

Inside I felt a pain that pierced me through
I  felt it poignant like a bird’s first flight
My  singing voice had elevated  you

In  old Hunstanton  we walked  sands   near white
In Wells  we saw   both  dawn and sunset’s light
For   confiding with  your smiles,  may I thank you?
I wish we were on long pale sands anew

 

 

 

Another misfake

I  keep making  spelling misfakes
At least you only made two there
Why, if we have fakes we also  have misfakes
I see what  you scream
So a  genuine painting by Picasso is a misfake,I say
But you can’t just invent words.
Why not?
You’ve caught me on the  hop
We do have a bathroom
Is there a WC?
Well, we don’t have earth closets inside a house
Why not?
It would ruin the foundations.
That shows building houses was the biggest mistake after eating the apple
To cut a long story short
Very short.
Meaningless in a very  surreal sense
Well, that is the end of Today  the Lockdown
They had no radios during the Plague
And so say all of us

Wondering, I wander underground

In my dreams I wander round  and round
Searching for that car park   by the lake
Wondering if  the lost are ever found

There is often silence or birdsong
I wonder which new footpath I shall take
In my dreams I wander round and round

Haphazard  as the  footsteps of a clown
Looking for  the works of William Blake
Wondering if  the past   will  ever hound

I see you  struggle ,walking on wet  ground
You’d like some coffee and a piece of cake
In my dreams we wander round and round

Darling, shall I  never hold your hand?
We got into rhythms pure and strange
Wandering  through the past  we  never found

What was  the space of love   that made us ache
Fragile like  the    crystalline   snowflakes
In my dreams I wander round  and round
Can I change my ways, can I be found?

 

 

Who are we?

Photo1660
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To fulminate against the hands of fate
To vent our anger on  beloved friends
Will not repair our ills and our mistakes
But may bring friendships to  a bitter end.

For who are we to know what is the best?
Who are we to choose when loved ones die?
And  do not think this is a needed test.
As if on us God wastes his time to spy.

Once  we were a joining of two cells
The lively sperm, a salmon riding high.
The egg awaiting without  need for bells
Is fertilised and grows that which  shall die.

Astonishing that we should live at all.
Unsurprising, that a loved one falls.

 

Ironic lockdown

The irony of lockdown is  unique
More painful for the folk who live alone
Everyone’s at  home but none can meet

On the telephone , my friends can speak
I   want a conversation, not to moan
The irony of lockdown is  unique

I long for voices, even bleats from sheep
A conversation is  our human home
Everyone’s indoors but none can meet

The price we pay for safety seems quite steep
The poor may be more blighted, seeking loans
The irony of lockdown is  unique

Will Boris Johnson  get back on his feet
Do his best for his sins to atone?
Jesus  left his  home the outlook’s bleak

From the graveyards skeletons will roam
Their souls  as restless as the waves  that foam
The irony of lockdown is  unique
We’re not at home, we’re alien as this leaf

 

 

 

No gowns for NHS staff

If you are ill the nurses have no gowns
The doctors  neither, nor a dressing gown
Don’t let them borrow yours ,all’s upside  down
We can’t have naked people in the town

The government  will   rue this nudity
When Boris Johnson flies into a tree
We’ll see his valorous organ on TV
Whatever can the matter really be?

Why can’t the textile trade make us  nighties
On the NHS most stuff is free
The towel laid across your aching knee
My BT Hub is dying can’t they see?

Oh, I feel shame I live in Sodom here
Gomarrah can’t be far behind,don’t leer

Ain’t no police

The geese no longer fly past at sundown
They’re eaten by the “immigrants”  folks say
Who also kill and murder every day
The English are so perfect  in my town

That man is not an alien though he’s brown
He was born in Bradford  near the mills
His parents worked there till it made them ill
And now he is a graduate with a gown

My ancestors came to fight and to invade
They killed the  men and made the women wives
What chance that some  few English might survive
Are they now on benefits or aid?

The nesting swans have killed or maimed the geese
In their natural world ain’t no police

What we most fear

Hepatica-okesabayashi-2020 (1)

Written by: Katherine 

How like a monster is my fear of pain
Expanding to fill all my heart and mind
Swelling like a  giant sponge in the rain,
This fear begets  new  feelings more unkind.

For humans being chased by lions fierce,
Fear gives us the strength to  dash away.
But when by inner turmoil we are pierced
We cannot run  yet need  not be its prey.

Most strange,we need to do   what we most fear;
Walk towards the pain with curious calm.
As else we may be maddened like King Lear
With no Cordelia to bring us balm.

To  feel in proper ratio to our   pain.
We need perception,grace and all their gains.

Henne

Hennetwistle  has a railway stop
The name is Viking  now it’s usually spelled
Entwistle, where reservoirs fill up
Manchester wants  water , here it’s held

Too Thirlmere is an artificial lake
For tea in Manchester, those thirsty folk
How much more d’ye think that they will take?
Hamlets drowned, dull cypress trees that cloak

I once passed through Darwen on a train
On the way to Ilkley  with my aunt
No memory of bliss with me remains
Except the  flowers  so wild, their ghosts  still haunt

Yet nowhere else gives me the feel of home
This landscape is my body and my soul

Whatever suits your heart

Am I an  idolator  today
For to St Jude I have been known to pray
Patron of the Hopeless, the Outcast
I call on him to find my shopping list

I call on him when I have lost my phone
And long to hear my  husband’s mobile groans
If this ignites distress I am to blame
The fires of love are what keep women sane

I call on him while  homesick though at  home
Without my love  the house feels empty, lone
 Does God  detest me when I pray for aid?
For these years, with suffering I have paid

Say or sing whatever suits your heart
We never  gain the end if we don’t start

Wandering

I walked,I stumbled where I’d never been
No friend nor ally  guided me  nor could
In the  mesmerising  sharp pain of my grief

Wandering like an outcast ,  never queen
Reason was  no aid in that dead wood
I wandered  through the shadows of my  dreams

I felt the ground beneath me swirl and seethe
As if to kill me too or spill my blood
In the desolate place  of  darkness deep 

Rosemary,remembrance, flowering wreaths
Inside the heart  will mercy  come to flood?
I wandered  where to love would be obscene

But in the arctic wastes , surprised by  god
In late winter trees will start bud
I wandered  on until my heart revived
From that place of peril came new life

 

God, at last

Human sacrifice had disappeared
Would God bring it back to  strike with fear
The hearts of children washed in Jesus’ blood
His heart so sacred died, does that sound good?

Why stress the Cross, the  crown of thorns, the fear
As if God is a sadist,  cold yet nuclear
Who  might wish to   propagate this myth?
In Eden  dwell to hear the snakes that hiss

Jesus, kind and brave,  had no cruel wish
To feed a crowd he conjured loaves and fish
He  walked on water,  perhaps he loved to tease
No Caesar he,  his stories were decrees. 

And in the night, he wept  but never cursed
God, at last, knew humans at their worst

The pleasure of Confession

Fritillaria-meleagris-2020

 

Pray Father,I jave no sins to confess.What is the most common sin you hear about?

Hurting the feelings of loved ones or strangers by projecting our ill will into them and

then attacking them.

How about adultery?

Is that a proposal?

You naughty  little animal!You know what I mean.Don’t tease me.I am sensitive but I’m ok.I sleep all night and sin all day.Is adultery common?

It is very common and shows poor taste ,so if you want to be less vulgar leave it out.

I am long past adultery now.I am too stiff for sexual athletics.Though with more

acupuncture,one never knows.Besides I am not married any more.

Surely there is something else wrong you  must have done recently? You are only human

To be honest,Father,I believe we are often blind to our faults and we would need to bring

some other people along here to say how we have treated them.And then we’d find out

our sins more easily from them.

Well,there is some truth in that but we only need a random sample of your sins.

One will be a metonym for the rest.

Is that the right word?

Well,if it’s not it’s near enough,my child.

I am older than you;you must know.

I am sorry to say that is not a sin,my dear lady.Try harder.

I suffer from scruples…………… is that bad.?

Very bad.What are they about?

Doubts.

Give them up.Believe  you did your best.

How can I be sure?

Well, we are never sure of anything in this life but we it will kill us to  brood all day

Well, it does sound selfish when you put it like that

Now, drop  that heavy bag of  worries and run about the garden 

I can’t run but I will  have more fun

Now you’ve got it, my child.

Thank you and good night

The whisper

I walk in sadness as fish swim the sea
I can’t  rememeber  how life felt before
The foetus  and the feel of gravity

Death  will come with ,without decree
The other world   a room with a   closed door
I walk in sadness as fish swim  the sea

The pain, the blood, the whisper and the grief
Could any woman wish for any more?
The foetus lost, the ropes of gravity

What  is human dies without a plea
Ah, the garments in the baby store
I walk as sad as fish flow with sea

From such  anguish,  we may wish to flee
Unless beneath our  feet there’s solid floor
To hold the foetus wrapped in love. oh, thief!

Life may cackle like a randy whore
You can’t buy babies in the liquor store
I walk in sadness as fish fill the sea
The foetus  drowned, the  urgent grave, now you.

 

 

Ignite

If Boris Johnson  frequently told lies
This is very common  nowadays
No-one sane would be at all surprised

If  Boris Johnson could not breath ,so died 
Everyone for his soul might now pray
Though Boris Johnson  told some  dreadful lies

Even Peter , Jesus thrice denied
This was human, of such fears we’re prey
No-one sane would be at all surprised

If Boris was with women, he  was wry
But not enough to  stage one in his  play
Oh,Boris Johnson you should not have lied

   Oh Boris  has more children than his bride 
   Now he wants another though he’s grey   
   No-one sane admits they are surprised

I dreamed  of him last night,  he was so gay
To my surprise he charmed me  with love play
If Boris Johnson   lost his head and died
The  people would be frightened and ignite

 

 

 

 

In the  sighing woodland ,birds go by

Acer-palmatum-2020

In the wanton woodland ,birds flash by
Busy with their mates and with their nests
Caught a glimpse  there in my cornered eye

I walk held up by silence  undefied
Life is plain when  we don’t send the texts
In the gentle woodland ,birds flash by

I call out softly with a plaintive cry
No bird will understand  my strange request
Caught in movement  from my cornered eye

The sun showed through the highest branches  sly
Lit the birds up as it wandered West
In the mossy woodland ,birds arise

Nature’s  not in lockdown as we are
They find their food, the insects and the rest.
The many coloured berries  gleam like stars

We do not see the murders and the feasts
The magpies eating  nestlings we detest
In the  shadowed woodland ,birds flash by
I see this from the corner of my eye

The survival of the fattest

Being obese might be one way of surviving this plague.
Or as someone said to  a cancer sutvivor: At least you have lost weight or was   it ” at last”
You would lose weight after death if you kept turning over in your grave…
Jesus never mentioned  weight:Go thou and weigh no more.Double entendre.
Who invented the word “sin”  and why?
Weight is  like savings in the several banks.You can’t lose it all at  once
I thought I was flat once.It was because clothes are.Yet chair covers are not.
 Don’t know where, don’t know when,  we’ll meet and hoard our funny days

This treasure

Absenting ourselves from presence in this life
Glued onto the pictures in our minds
It neither matters if  we wish for strife

Or whether they fill needs of better kind.

We know that wish fulfilment comes in dreams
And also in our fantasies by day
When anxious worry fills our mind with schemes
Guilt and shame impede us from our play.

Creative thought requires the loss of self,
And needs our empty soil to plant its gifts
So throw out selfish fancies for this wealth
We’ll let ourselves  go slow, so minds can shift

To waste our days in suffering or false pleasure
Will lose for us this vital, vivid treasure

I eat cartoons for breakfast with a knife

I  lack the skill of mimicking   a cat
Mimesis  makes me copy  acrobats
I cannot do the crossword in the Times
If I’m free, I marry many  rhymes

A cartoon left me cold,I needed words
I preferred  to talk except to  birds
But now I reach the higher slopes of life
I eat cartoons for breakfast with a knife

In mathematics we use little signs
The science of pattern  circles all my lines
We learn to write  what others knew by craft,
The hand precedes the brain, the warp, the weft

The Scribes were groups  who wrote what others said
Scroll by scroll the Hebrew Bible’s read

Never get engaged on a whim

How to get rid of your lover
Tell them you’re carrying a germ
Spray Dettol around your home
Put deodorant on your  comb
Ask if they wash all their sperm

Nobody likes a rejection
But sometimes it’s better to leave
Be polite  as your part from them
After all they’re gentlemen
No need to make men aggrieved

Would your prefer an arranged marriage?
My doctor says it worked for him
Remember you’re ugly
Though very snugly
Never get engaged on a whim

 

I wonder who you are and feel for you

So many people read on WordPress blogs
Many write their own  words down as well
From different countries  all across the world
What the effect is nobody can tell

But  is  it  so  surprising that  all words
Written with a true and thoughtful heart
Can bind together  those of us who care
And  so from cruel Wars we may depart

From Vietnam and China  from Finland
From Maryland,Brasilia,Peru
From   Rome, from Jordan and from Palestine
I wonder who you are ,I care  for you

The mystery is the goodness  we can share
Yet always there’s a darkness in the air

 

Take your mind off

If you live near a psychopath
And can’t run
Then it will take your mind
Off the coronavirus

And if you have a UTI
You will want to die
Don’t kill him  yet

Strange how a bodily pain
Feels like torture
Like houses  had faces
And pictures of the  three bears
Hung in your lounge
Suddenly when you were five
Turned into a bridge with  three arches
Over a river

We truly believe
Then it  goes.
The eyes are windows
The mouth is a door
There never was  nose
At least we never  heard it sneeze
It  didn’t cough
Sometimes the chimney set on fire
But girls didn’t put it out

Where God’s in hell

The sadness of the television world
Where actors have no character to share
Where all is flat and perfect but unreal
Where God’s in Hell,  and yet it is concealed

The sadness of a toddler with a phone
Eyes near focussed like he is alone
Where he can see a Zoo in Montreal
Or hear hyenas  as they  make their calls

The sadness as we toss out ancient books
And never teach our children  how to cook
The imaged food is perfect in   young eyes
But when we live on that I think  we die

The sadness  when our neighbours  have blind eyes
The sadness as our culture slowly dies

Over burned spaghetti and red wine

God has made men suffer making me
As beautiful as morning by the sea
Because I’m only interested in maths
I have long since left the garden path

I never look in mirrors  or deep ponds
Narcissus eat your heart out in ferns’ fronds
I  never used to wonder how I looked
When my eyes were glued on a textbook

What irony that men would love me so
I   thought myopia  would  make them shy
I thought they’d like to talk  of Wittgenstein
Over burned spaghetti and  red wine

But now I’ve learned how beautiful I looked
Lying on the sofa with a book
Alas it is too late for any more
I see the edge of Heaven by the door

God  may seem ironic, it’s a test
I may kiss you once if you insist

After him

The gravity of loss brought me to earth
Beneath the rotting leaves, I lay with worms.
I wondered if I were of any worth

No more to be enchanted by love’s mirth,
I  with unnamed particles was turned.
The weight of loss bears down the heart to earth.

The weight of  love has readied us for birth
The fragments moulded with the love that burns.
I learned we need  not wonder  over  worth

My sorrow brought no guilt nor fear of wrath
I am both  sharp eyed eagle ,twisted worm.
In my little grave, I  loved the earth.

Like the adder, shocked into rebirth.
I from silent underworld had learned
Not to judge my soul nor think of worth.

I shall not  fear the flames of hell that burn.
When blackness is accepted, may one learn?
The weight of loss breaks down the soul to earth
With dusty shredded leaves, we then convers

Feel the woodland beauty as in prayer

The hurricane has turned into a breeze
The sun shines on a squirrel leaping high
The  birds are hiding in the holly tree

Every human being will agree
We’d better live, if soon we  knew we’d  die
The hurricane has turned into a breeze

Soon will come the butterfly and bee
And every little insect that can fly
The  birds are hiding in the holly tree

I like hills.my lover likes the sea…..
Different people different loves arise
The hurricane has shrunk into a breeze

Lilies hide, so deep, love’s mystery
Then  its offspring decorate our days
The  blackbird sings  atop the holly tree

Feel the woodland beauty as in prayer
Trust the unknown darkness at its core
The scary wind has turned into a  breeze
The  doves are  cooing from the maple tree

Touching

I let my entire being take you in
Surround you like  it were second skin
I made an astral cloak to give your peace
Where I could  share the burden and release

How hard it is to find the  words that say
How we live and die  afresh each day
When we  get a foothold on the hill
We must not hurry , pressed on by  our will

Every instant,every time we breathe 
Eternal life  is here, we’re not deceived
God appears and disappears ,he flames
The Burning Bush, the  prophet and their rage.

Enlightenment  comes after we  have crossed
The  avenues of suffering   and  the cost