Author: Katherine

Poetry writer and author

BE CURIOUS AND GO TO JAIL

Photo0261 2

A canal

Maybe this is a rationalization but I believe it’s a good thing to look into other people’s houses,after all that’s why windows were invented.. so people could see in.That’s what  my mother told me and who am I to contradict her?Yes,who am I? Someone who looks into windows.Once I had a boyfriend who was very handsome.. only once,but there we go.As we were out walking by a canal.. so romantic.. we passed the back of some houses and he told me it was a crime to look into a woman’s bedroom and watch her undressing.
But unless you were very tall,how could you look into her bedroom and anyway how would  you know which one it was

Would you ring the bell and say,
Excuse me,.madam,which room do you sleep in?
And she might say.
Who are you,the KGB?
And pour a pan of water over his head or maybe some ink….
.come to think of it,that would explain a  lot. about his appearance!
I guess,reading between the lines, he wanted to watch me undress but I kept quiet.Another time we got caught in heavy rain riding our bikes [yes,no cars thenm] When we got back to his place,he was so kind.He said,
Your trousers look wet.I don’t mind if you take them off.
but a little bird warned me not to…I only had the one pair and maybe he wanted them for himself!
He never took me out for a meal  but he was extremely good looking.. dark hair,brown eyes and  pale creamy skin… on his face.. I never saw his body as we broke up before long and I was a virgin in those days although I did use Tampax which was forbidden by the Bishop..
Can you believe it?A  Bishop  should never have heard of Tampax.. they were all celibate then.I thought before it meant celebrate but I realised later it was nothing to celebrate.
Anyway,I guess after using those super large ones I was not a virgin and it was easier than finding another handsome boyfriend..no point sleeping with an ugly one unless you are extremely kind which I am not….I’m just fairly kind and selfish in the usual way..I want my own way.
Blimey,what was I going to say?
Oh,yes,don’t draw the curtains as I am painting them tomorrow..And then I shall draw them or was it the other way round?

THAT SEEMS MEAN

Restrepia_pelyx-2019

I’ve got a bad back
How come?
My wife liked aural sex.
I don’t get it.
She has made me put  our bed next to the party wall so  she can hear the  neighbours. better
And does it work?
I don’t know.I have to sleep on a board in the living room
That seems mean.
Please don’t mention statistics.I feel bad enough already

 

How do you  cope with her?

Care of the elderly Clinic
99 Knittingham Road
Ollerpond
Knotts
OL1  7ON

Dear Dr Rattle

Thank you for referring this 67 year old woman.I have examined her from head to toe and I cannot acount for her hostility to people from Europe.I would examine her mind but we do not have the  ability as yet
I suggest you advise her to do Voluntary Work  or  get a lover.Or both.Reading poetry can calm some pople.
She has given me a headache and  made me feel  helpless.Next I’ll be in the Asylum with all those Seekers we read about.
I know I am lucky to have been so well educated coming from the lowest class in Britain so I will think of that instead.
How do you  cope with her?

Yours as ever

Anne Smotherhingham   MD,FRCS,D.Phil [Oxford] Ph.D [Athens] Diploma in Communication [Wigan] Professor of Poetry [Part time,Harvard]

The tragedy of my legs

LegsI

I had a big disappointment recently.I shall never be able to wear a miniskirt again
The bones in my legs do not meet correctly at the knee.To think I spent years displaying them to  all and sundry until I read the letter from the Consultant

Another one is  that fig roll biscuits are much smaller than they used to be. as are bars of milk chocolate.Even our coins are smaller.
Oh., for a half crown or a florin
A pound coin now looks like a  shrunken two shilling piece , it’s not even as big as threepenny bit!
Size can matter,Imagine if we were reduced in size by 90 %.We would not be able to sit in a chair any more nor eat at the table.We would not be able to get on a bus even and worse, no way to sit on a loo.What woe.
Still if I look round I am bound to find someone with even worse legs than mine.I takes my mind off Brexit.And yours too.I hope

 

Amo,Amass, Amat

IMG_20190311_133452Passion yodel
Dashing model
Lashing huddled
Crashing muddles
Hashing goggles
Stash bedazzled
Washing cuddles
Wishing puddles
Bashing  muzzled
Flushing waddles.
Hamming puzzles
Amo,Amass, Amat
Lashes bundles
Washing googled
Oh, no,  how crass .do what?

 

 

She is a passion model

img_20190311_170607img_20190311_170440I sometimes rude the day I was born
She is a  passion model
I liked her address last week
Do you like my lapse?
I  just wish I could be borne
My hare looks rather dreadful today
My buzzard is not nice to men
Why can’t a computer escape from your lap?
Buzz ’em again
Do you reel and need insurance? Don’t waste any longer
What a fuss about No Thing
We  lasted right through Lent and abstained from coffee till  Rita
Is this MY last supper?
I love engineering and trousers.Can I be a woman  in hell?
I used to like an atlas.Then it was buoys.Then I got horrid and had to keep  my husband in  bottles  with no hot water
I  marred a man forever
I bowt a cushion int’ parkit
Free food  and drink now

 

Wider than a star

The mind is deeper than a well  and wider than a star
I lose myself in waters deep ,symbolic ,sweet and clear
I rest embraced by this  love and wish for nothing more
I dream I walk in meadows sweet
The daisies in my hair

The heart has reasons and desires as if it were a  mind
If it’s soft as cashmere wool then it will remain  kind
Yet if it’s hard then it may crack and we will split ,divide
I dream I walk by river fleet
With  heart and mind combined

The other self that dwells alone in privacy divine
Needs sacred care and sweet respect and peace from what’s malign
The inner nature of   us all is   given and then transformed
I dream I walk on long white sands
By seas blue, crystaline

The one most strong may be the one insane

Grief  and love are linked by  metal chains
Imagination cannot  foresee change
When love’s killed, its ghost will haunt  and blame

In our wanderings through our mind’s domains
The furniture  will need to be arranged
Rage and love are linked by a  steel chain

The mind itself can change the human brain
The one most strong may be the one insane
When love dies, its shadow will  remain

The hate of loss , the savage mark of Cain
The rational one can  almost  be deranged
Grief  and love are linked by a  steel chain

What is lost will  heal in its due time
Murderous love   comes from the most estranged
When love’s killed its  ghost will  cause  much pain

Suffering most acute is  in its  place
Chronic losses cause a pale strained face
Grief  and love are linked by a  gold chain
When love’s killed, its ghost will haunt  and blame

Spelling errors in the best newspapers

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My husband liked this picture..I wonder why?

Pity Theresa May’s dry vocal chords. The Prime Minister this week finds herself without a voice (nor a Brexit deal, for that matter). Yesterday she spoke in Parliament with a hoarse, rasping voice, after her withdrawal agreement was rejected by MPs by a significant 149 votes.

From the Telegraph website

The Guardian had Reign for rein today

Reign in your passions please boys [I invented that] but it is similar

More imventions:

Pull the horse’s reigns off immediately

It’s reigning again today.
Don’t be so rued about the Queen
I was very rued to the teacher to day
She must have rude the day she married him
I rude the day I began teaching students at Oxford when I could have been embedded with my lover.
Noone can separate us, we are elder together by love
Are you not horrid yet?
No, we are waiting for the Pope.
Y?
Don’t keep asking one litter questions, is that ok with you?
Whose she, the cat’s mither?
To bee or not to bee… a wasp

Dear Doctor

img_20190311_133316Valhalla Hospital
Nerve Route
Woltom
Ferseyside
UK
FR13 n 0WE

Deat Dr Smith
Thank you for refering this 78 year old woman who is an expert on wasps.I
asked her to undress and she hit me with her handbag ,It broke my nose.She is a cook and was carrying some weights for her old weighing machine in it plus 3 phones,3 sets of geometric instruments and a dead cat.
I wonder if a psychiatrist might help her.I am a  cardiologist.If she carries that bag all day her heart must  be strong.
I was planning to do an angiogram  but  I am on sick leave now

Thanking you again

Joe Southport MD FRCS D.Phil.[Oxford] Ph.D [Wigan] D.Sc [Pentonville] Registered sex offender

 

Birds laughed quietly

Like a black pan lid
Darkness descended
Light around the edge
Golden, undetected

Forsythia feebly waved
In March winds
Birds laughed quietly
As if Nature sinned

The pine tree tall
Higher than the house
Dignity and grace
Be thou my spouse

Against Rumination

photo0131

 

As Mary walked down the stairs on  Friday she felt her beautiful  skirt of many colours  slipping off her body and almost reaching the floor. Mary wondered if she had been losing weight but she could not see any difference when she looked into the mirror Maybe it has stretched at the waist .I hope it won’t fall off when I am walking down the street, said  Mary,  especially when I’m in the town
What are you doing ,mewed Emile her little black cat?
I’m not doing anything,she replied .I’m just trying to walk down the stairs and my skirt is slipping
Pull it up said Emile an unkind  tone.
She replied tactfully,yes I will when I get to the bottom of the stairs but before Mary. got to the bottom her skirt  fallen off completely and she was only wearing a brown silk petticoats and a pair of teal coloured tights.
You  look nice Emile said. Maybe you don’t need to wear a skirt you  can wear  a  petticoat instead,
Thank you very much ,said Mary but the weather is very cold and a silk petticoat is not warm enough for going into the town although I suppose I could put a very warm long coat over the top. Suppose I went into a restaurant and felt too hot then I would have to take off my coat and then everybody would see my petticoat.
Life is made up of Conundrums like this and the secret is not to start thinking this way in the first place;once you do this is very hard to stop.
Some of Mary’s friends say to her. Are you sleeping alright or how are you sleeping?
Mary never answers because  she knows that if you start  thinking about that this a lot it’s not good for you as you can spend all day worrying about whether you are going to be able to sleep that night.
We have no control over our sleep, she pondered , but we can’t afford ruminating  as it causes mental illness according to some scientists and doctors.
Rumination cuts people off from the world as they are always looking inside themselves.
Similarly being a perfectionist is very bad for you because again you’re not thinking about the work that you’re producing and  enjoying it you are always wondering is this good enough or shall I start again oh I am so stupid etc
It is possible ,Mary has found,  to control what you allow yourself to think about.You can cut you thought off before it gets going.
Anything that makes you keep thinking about yourself all the time will create a wall around you and other people can detect this wall; it makes them avoid you.
In general, we should have a few  walls as possible both internal and external
Just then the doorbell rang. it was  Annie the ex-mistress of Mary ‘s husband Stan.
Hello she cried, how do you like my new coat
Don’t tell me you’ve got another one ,Mary  sighed
I didn’t buy it Annie  murmured. That  sweet lady who lives opposite told me that she has put on a lot of weight and she can’t wear this  anymore ; she asked me if I would like it
But you have already got about 20  Mary said, but I like this one .It’s a lovely colour; is it what we call teal or is it Kingfisher Blue?
I don’t know  but it seems to match  my other clothes and and you know I do like a change.You prefer just to have one coat and wear it all the time, unless you are going out to your special functions, hen you might wear your  best coat ,which is the brown one isn’t it which Stan used to liket because he said it hung well
Yes he did like that very much and I was wearing it only yesterday as it is very warm. I would like to have more clothes like you do but I seem to be too busy to go shopping
Annie gazed  up with  her large round eyes   upon which she was wearing turquoise  and magenta eyeshadow and bright  blue mascara which clashed with her purple lipstick from East Saint Lawless.
That purple lipstick  does not match your coat nor your eyeshadow Mary told her
Well I think that a perfect costume puts men off .So it’s better to do something wrong and anyway a lot of men are colour blind so they won’t know that it’s the wrong shade of lipstick. I think that coral would look better and I shall buy some next time I go into the term because teal and coral look very nice together .Purple is good with blues
Actually, Mary said ,purple make  you look as  if you’ve got heart disease or anaemia.
Thanks a lot , shouted Annie. What kind of friend are you
I am an honest friend ,Mary replied  in  a warm voice.I think that I don’t often say things which distress you but sometimes knowing that you would like to meet another man I  feel impelled to give you my point of view.
That’s very kind of you said Annie but I think now I am too old to find a man who wants a mistress because a younger man could get a younger mistress and an older man maybe past bothering about mistresses and love and such things.And where can I find one,anyway.
I don’t agree, said Mary I think if you look very nice   a man may be very proud to take you out and have you hanging from his arm like a trophy even if he is not able to proceed  very far  with bodily love. After all ,everybody likes someone to talk to and  some companionship ;someone to help them out when they are feeling unwell
As long as that is it is mutual I don’t see anything wrong with it.
The two women stared out of the window and saw a wood pigeon on the shed.Maybe it’s better to be a bird,Mary thought aimlessly before she put  on the kettle for a lovley cup of tea and some chocoate fingers
Tea is the best drink in the afternoon.
And so say all of us.

Golden again

Golden again,
The sky pleases
Its unity  comforts
Our bits and pieces

Gathers us up
A rich mother
Accepting hate
Whatever

Green attracts
To the holly tree
Where sparrows hide
To look and see

Berries lost
To feed the birds
Shining points
The leaves preserved

 

 

You dived, a gentle fish, into dark sea

The amiable,the fierce both dwelt in you
You dived, a gentle fish, into dark sea
Where living people cannot be immersed
The amiable, the fierce  both lived in you
I watched you going  through a sheet of tears
They dropped  as does the Tees with its High Force
The amiable, the fierce  were always there.
You dived, a gentle fish, into  dark sea

 

Reminder about poetic forms

Stowe2019-2https://owlcation.com/humanities/Poetic-Forms-in-English-Literature

Triolet

It is a poem of 8 lines in which 1st, 4th, and 7th lines repeat, and 2nd and 8th lines also repeat. The rhyme scheme of the poem is AbaAabAB, capital letters representing the repeated lines. For instance: Thomas Hardy’s “Birds At Winter”.

 

Menu

macro photography of a bee
Photo by Anton Atanasov on Pexels.com

Avacado  Brexit …. each half has a different sauce
Eggs Quarantined in mustard
Soup incorporating shingles jab and raw onions

Duck a la  Trump with fake orange sauce and plastic potatoes
Beef and green peas with orange tomato salad and window dressing
Ham and Tongue Loaf with a greeting via fakish  microphone
Minced lamb and mint sauce in a Yorkshire pudding made with Canadian flower and  real egg

 

Lemon mousse with fake cream [no Nestle’s now]
Creme Foolery and burned orange sugar
Wine Jelly with real tinned fruit and swan custard
Apple pie and Chesire cheese  with HP sauce and plumbed jam

Water free Glass £5

Coffee £6…. cup £45

No tea left after feeding emigrants heading for Australia

 

Bible Verses for those who are Grieving — Heather C. King – Room to Breathe

Psalm 23:4 ESV Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 30:5 ESV For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for […]

via Bible Verses for those who are Grieving — Heather C. King – Room to Breathe

 

 

 

His presence was  a comfort,laughter-lit

His absence left an empty open cut
Where was my blood that should have made a crust?
The weeping wound must heal from bottom up

The healing force is life and others’ love
Those who touch us gently without lust
His absence still an empty open cut

Slowly cells harmonious in this rut
Do their work and live as all things must
The weeping wound can heal from bottom up

Meanwhile my immunity has guts
Keeping off bacteria and dust
In his absence now a hollow slit

Tears fly horizontal,eyes are shut
Time goes slow and heavy weights oppress
The weeping wound shall heal if I have grit

Bring me wild flowers from the Clevelands plucked
Give me nectar where the wild bees suck
His presence was a comfort,laughter-lit
The wound heals and the love will never stop

beautiful bee bloom blooming
Photo by Mikes Photos on Pexels.com

We stayed with his family from where we hitched a lift in a lorry to the Cleveland Hills.We walked out in the sun and lay in some bee filled heather.We didn’t realise we were very near a steep cliff as this end of the North Yotkshire Moors crashes into the valley of the mighty Tees [recall High Force],Alas industry altered the lower end of the river as we all know the force of such rivers was used to drive water mills and other mechanical developments.

Wounds

I had an operation on my arm a few months ago and the wound opened after the stitches were removed… then a nurse said: it will have to heal from the bottom up…. that’s how I though of it.They tried sticky strips but they were no good as it was near my elbow so it was a hard place to heal with the movement of my arm affecting it

t

Open the door

door green closed lock
Photo by Life Of Pix on Pexels.com
red metal padlock
Photo by Flickr on Pexels.com

When you lock yourself safely into your house at night, it may be worth considering whether the police or  paramedics can get in if you fall or are ill
What gives us safety might give us other problems.

I am  amused by some of my neighbours who come uo to me and say they were worried they had  not seen me for 6 weeks…. why not ring my bell? Why not phone.

 

I have raised the bread

img_20190205_141958065I have cured the bacon
Was it flu?
I have laid the table
Where?
I have raised the bread
How high?
I have simmered with rage
Don’t boil over
I have been green with envy and now I am pale withe fear
Try pink
I have boiled the hen’s eggs
How about the duck’s
I have killed the pig.
All by yourself?
I have seen some  jam tarts in the window.
Did you make any?
I baked the cook
What heat?
I have  burned the books
Was the fire low?
I have watered the lawn
With a hose?
I walked with a dog
To where
I miaowed with a cat
Come off it
I am waiting for  the Messiah
So what’s new?

I am glad this is small as it looks fierce

Comma_2019-11.The patient was doing well until the Consultant came round  when he fell out of bed and broke his skull
Cause of death:Fear of doctors and hospitals in general

2. This  charming lady refused to undress for three days until she got rigor mortis

Cause of death:Immobility and refusal to breathe

3. The patient caught brain fever  from thinking too much,

Cause of death: His IQ should have been lowered years ago.

4.This man was asking for a bit of peace so we left him outside on the verandah,No Notes left.He died  from fear of darkness and loneliness  yet he had panic attacks on the ward

 

5.This lady wrote so much we were about to refer her to  a psychiatrist.She died  frome excitement when Penguin offered her a three book cotract.The doctor has had a nervous breakdown instead of her.