The robot voice is from  the a faux BT
The voice is loud with no affect  but rage
My broadband is now ending  after tea

Is this News  broadcast  on the BBC
Or in the Times, if so what is the page?
The robot voice informs me it’s  BT

What type of people scam so merrily?
When boundaries are broken ,disengaged
My broadband is now ending  after tea

I envy the small sparrow in a tree
No need to  use a laptop, no air raid
The robot voice tells lies,it’s not BT

What visions have the eagle high and free
The honey seeking butterfly unpaid?
My broadband will be ending  after tea

Fixation on the  screen  which God forbade
Stops us from reminders of the grave
The robot voice now claims it is BT
My broadband   will end shortly just like me 

Mary was feeling very bad tempered.Wearing her good brown coat without its fake fur collar she had ventured into Waterbones Bookshop.Putting her crutch against the wall she sat down on a small metal folding chair for a few minutes., pondering whether to buy a book for £20 or to go into Boots and buy some foundation cream and pink nail varnish
Suddenly a young woman approached and said in a strangely peremptory manner
If you want to sit down, you will have to go upstairsâl
I can’t get up the stairs Mary told her truthfully.You have no lift
Well, you are next to the Crime Section, it is very popular
There’s nobody here right now.So if people come I shall have left
No,get up cried the assistant
As the woman seemed unable to leave her alone, Mary left the shop.She decided to use Amazon.
So much for protecting her High Street!
As she approached her home. a neighbour came by and said a very offensive few sentences.Maybe she had an aversion to women
In the evening Mary received a text
I realise I offended you.I was in a hurry.Apologies.
After a few days Mary replied
I am sorry I could not stay to allow you to insult me further.I am in severe pain when standing still.If you wish to verbally attack me or insult me please invite me to your house and let me sit down .Then you can ring 999 and ask for Dave.
Later on Dave the transexual,transvestite and transforming paramedic ran in with a chocolate cake in his hand.He wore his denim dress with a yellow pinny decorated with embroidered ladybirds and some pink velvet shoes he had just got in the Market
Would you like me to make you a cup of tea,Mary? Where’s Annie? Dave said anxiously
Annie is down in Brighton for the weekend.She wants to see the sea,Mary lied
What’s wrong with Sheringham? Dave asked thoughtlessly?
She liked the shops in the Brighton.She likes to wander aimlessly about the lanes bumping into men now and then,Mary cried ironically
She could be arrested and imprisoned,Dave said untherapeutilcally
The men don’t seem to mind! Mary muttered loudly with envy on her voicel
You look pale,Mary,Dave whispered into her ear.Are you ok?
No , she murmured.Why are people so cruel to me?
Why not hit one with your stick, he suggested brilliantly
I am a pacifist and anyway they might hit me, back she thought out loud
How about :The gentle art of verbal self defence? I saw you read it/
I’d rather kick them, she answered pointedly
Now I have an idea,said Dave.I’ll put a suit on and accompany you out to the town
I can’t believe I need a “man” to protect me, she said in a low voice
But I am not a “man”, he cried desperately
Are you ” other” she queried
I am all and nothing, he said in a puzzled tone.
Are you God? she said in a sudden panic
Not yet, he cried.It’s Emile who is to be the New Messiah
No, mewed Emile.I am still not fully converted to Judaism.It is complex.
Well, get a move on.We can’t keep living the way we are,Mary sighed
Would you like to walk on water in this weather, the cat answered . Many are called and a few are frozen, he continued philosophically.
It would make a change, from the Gaza protests, Dave cried
I wish the PM would try it,Mary giggled fervently.Would her leopard skin shoes get wet?
We will never know.She’s into ankle boots now.
Next it will be knee high boots
Heil Theresa…..
Heil Boris
Who’d have Brexited that?
Send us peace in our rhymes,Lord

https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg13818697-200-mind-body-modes-of-mind-what-have-small-children-playing-with-dolls-in-as-edinburgh-nursery-got-to-do-with-buddhism-one-psychologist-says-she-has-found-a-link/

Extract

I see  this house where you once lived with me
 I cannot hear your voice in any room,
I touch the  cushions,rugs and tapestry

I feel the silky sheets  my eye can see.
The silken scarves,the necklaces of blue
I see  this house where you once lived with me

The trees  bend in the wind, they cannot flee
Their little twigs and branches   softly croon
I touch the   well embroidered tapestry

The silence is the  lack  that makes me free
The other senses gratified, stll bloom
I see the sofa, marriage bed  indeed

No voice but mine  is heard , oh loss obscene
All I see is blackness  and faint moon
The cushions  comfort me ,oh heart bereaved

Yet all you gave is rich in my esteem
The wedding ring of gold  still has its gleam,
I  weep  at home where you once loved well me
I  flinch  then  rest  by love’s great boundary

https://dalspace.library.dal.ca/bitstream/handle/10222/63097/dalrev_vol61_iss1_pp39_51.pdf?sequence=1

“When we look into Keats’s expressions of conflict between
imagination and reality we can see the roots of this conflict in the
problem of identity. Keats wrote about the sunset, the sparrow, the
mythological figure as if he had lost his identity in the object. He
experienced these identifications sometimes with a sense of discovery
and sometimes with fear or irritability. Eventually, Keats began to see
that his identity would not be maddened by his imagination and could
be strengthened by it. He realized, in other words, “that a not inconsiderable increase in psychical efficiency” can result “from a disposition
which in itself is perilous.” In-the four years we know Keats as a letter
writer and a poet, we can see the development of his capacity for
retaining a sense of identity even when seized by powerful or seductive
visions. This is the development–the turning of a weakness into a
strength, both as artist and as man-that accounts for many apparent
contradictions in Keats’s thought. The language of negative capability
has been difficult because it suggests a puzzling oxymoron- a negative
and a positive. The figure presents two aspects of a dual process, the
first part of which, in its partial renunciation of control, can be felt as a
negative, while the second, or alternating, state recreates and is felt as a
capability. The c reative process in some of its operations posed
dangers for Keats’!; identity. But by the spring of 1819, the period of the
great odes, there appears a new strength in the second aspect of
negative capabilily imagination”

http://numerocinqmagazine.com/2014/01/14/keats-and-identity-the-chameleon-in-the-crucible-patrick-j-keane/

“Keats wrote his friend John Hamilton Reynolds on 18 February 1818: “Now it is more noble to sit like Jove tha[n] to fly like Mercury—let us not therefore go hurrying about and collecting honey-bee-like, buzzing here and there impatiently from a knowledge of what is to be arrived at; but let us open our leaves like a flower and be passive and receptive—budding patiently under the eye of Apollo, and taking hints from every noble insect that favors us with a visit” (Letters 1:232-33).

Such hints should be accepted gratefully, not least because they are creatively productive (As Blake put it, using “Keatsian” imagery: “The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.”) To irritably reject them because they cannot be fitted into a larger scheme—“knowledge of what is to be arrived at,” a system of one’s own making—amounts to an egoistic assertion and projection of one’s own identity. Of Dilke, “disquisition” with whom launched these thoughts, Keats later said he “was a Man who cannot feel he has a personal identity unless he has made up his mind about every thing. The only means of strengthening one’s intellect is to make up one’s mind about nothing—to let the mind be a thoroughfare for all thoughts…Dilke will never come at a truth as long as he lives; because he is always trying at it.” (Letters 2:21)”

The earth has turned to jelly while we slept
The world’s a  wobble,from the right to left
Noone knows what we can do
There’s a strange new strain of flu
Where is the old wisdom we dropped?

Unstable and ungracious  now, we are
Driving  over Beachy Head by car
We have got the sausage rolls
And we’ve brought our mobile phones
Ring me and you’ll hear me playing war

Soon  the death of  all the gods will pass
We worship lifeless objects  gold and brass
We worship  the ineptitude
And show we have no gratitude
For being at the top of every class

Everyone has got a big TV
Seeing what their neighbours  see
Watches  gold with dying sparks
Irritate the beggar’s   heart
Let’s deport him back to Bermondsey

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/ambisinister

When we read about Zionism we kind of assume other people know what it means…. not so! See below.
And if that is true, what do they think Brexit is, or where do they think Northern Ireland is… in Scotland?
And the Good Friday agreement: that’s when Pontius Pilate agreed to  have Jesus killed I imagine
I was talking to someone who lives in the North. One day she said
“I am terrified of driving through a certain part of Manchester where there are lots of Zionists walking down the road on Saturdays”
I said, “Well, that seems odd for  lots of Zionists to dwell in Manchester.”
She said

It’s their big black hats and black suits that makes them so terrifying!”

Then I realized they must be Hasidic Jews  like the ones in Stamford Hill… they follow a more mystical tradition and many came from Russia after pogroms and torments
So I told her a little about them and she said
“So it’s very brave of them to go out like that”
It’s very brave of us to be alive nowadays

Digital art using Microsoft Paint

We were not allowed to groan in the hospital.It might frighten the visitors.Meantime  phones rang incessantly and people screamed into them making videos I think
Talk about a Cardiac Unit it was worse than any Lunatic Asylum
.A woman  kept arguing about how to get to Hertford and insisted you must go through Ware.
I got so fed up I shouted: the bus may go that way but they are both level in distance from London.
Then  the same woman asked me to shut the window near her.. I was meant to be lying flat.She told me how much she liked the Consultant.Three years before she had paid to see him privately.He said she was ok and after a few weeks she had a heart attack
So I asked her why she still admired him.She was puzzled.Maybe she had fallen in love.
She wanted me to shut the window as she was afraid people in the Mental Health Unit might try to climb in and rape us. [ BTW it was a mixed ward]
It is more likely we’d be attacked by visitors.Still, she had her fantasies.

When true love's gone and doom hangs over head
When life runs like a river to the sea
Then shall I take new lovers to my bed.
And with their carnal touch consoled be?



When true loves lie and break my woman's heart.
When life seems grey and rocks bestrew my path.
Then, shall I my life of evil start
And on the world shall I bestow my wrath?


When true loves lie and wreck all loyalty.
When puzzlement makes all the world seem mad.
Then I shall upend causality
And let myself do deeds which make me glad.

For I have love's sweet child inside my soul
And I shall tend her till at last she's whole

S

o would you like Trimeprofine or Keflex, he asked as if he were serving in a top restaurant offering me a menu of delight
Surely it is the doctor who should decide that!
I was very relieved as I thought I was going mad.My system was  poisoned and the lab test took 2 weeks to come through.
It is interesting how much better you feel when you know there is a reason why you are so unwell/going mad.My husband had a UTI before he died and was convinced I was his mother.He certainly loved her.I went along with it then I was Katherine again.
He never referred to the 3 days he believed it.
But when he was dying he called out for me.As soon as I was there he
[ though conscious] began drfting and going colder.I did not feel afraid.It is later  that  it hits you.When you get home.But Alfred helped me

Art by Katherine

Elide with me.
God Bless Our Rope
There are many Faint above
Heil Furoreous  and Gastric
He Flew with Valiant Bees
The Lord  is my Leopard

I will  Praise my Eyes  with these Frills
You are there with the Crooked Staff
Wear O’Liaisons
Through my Bolts, my most heinous
Maya Culpa

I Relieved God
Father in  a Nightie.
His only Fun was Barred.
Contemptuous and Worse
Even Song  was Pane Free
Stained Glass Windows 10 64 bit
Turk Sinister.
King David wrote Palms and Solomon Read them
What does it All Seem?

The First Coarses are:

Mock Hurtle Gloop
Vegenibble Sloop
Scrumpled Legs on Roast

Fellows on with

Limb chops  on a  Bed of Mashed Glooms and Bunions
Roast Torque and Nipple Sauce with Ballad
Hackers only Cheese
Lout with Flu Potatoes
Simon with Dream Horse

Diminish with

Lemon Proust
Chocolate Wellies
Newt Salad with Beam
She’s and Frisk Its
Staked Bananas
Sponge Steak with Read Jam

To all intensive purposes I seem human
Never say, lie
Butter would not  cast spells on a mouse.
When times are hard you find out who your concealed friens are
What Higgins-Bose particle is that?
What’s mechanical  about quanta?
And what’s so  special about serendipity?
I am  very particular about my waves,
Wittgenstein’s habits were not Monk’s
Russell found mathematics  has no foundations
There is no absolute proof.
Algebra was invented by Arabs.But there’s no need to be cruel.They are very clever
Zero as a symbol for nothing was invented by Indians long before the British Empire
We invented lightbulbs  but not the shades.
We must forsake the rough and get smooth.

I got my hand stuck in the cat flap.It was more like a mouse flap! But the problem was how could I escape?How to  free myself
With my left  hand  I broke the glass door to let the cat in.Felix  looked very disdainful.I grabbed the dried cat food and shook a little onto the floor while I considerd my predicament.
I got my mobile out and rang 999.The firemen had to break the front door down to get in and release me.I had to have two new doors put in.Blimey,I’m  broke
Next time she goes away,I won’t offer my services.That is unless she marries me first.But then I’d be away  with her.
The solution is to take Felix along as well.

Why do politicians have no shame
Resigning is the last thing on their minds
Someone else will have to take the blame

Oh,Theresa May has lived up to  her name
Caught us all up in a double bind
Why do politicians have no shame?

I guess she ‘ll  win some double edged  fame
While the  limping  lean  too heavily,unkind
Someone else will have to take the blame

Yet here we reach the very end of games
Unreachable in Amazon’ s decline
Why do politicians have no shame?

Democracy is running out of time
When will the prime minister resign?
You or I , who next will take the blame?

All these machinations are a crime
Racism, stabbings shootings, up they climb
Why do politicians have no shame
Some outcast group will  suffer and be blamed.

I wonder how I’d feel  from day to day
If I knew not prime numbers and their play
If I’d never heard of “e”  and “pi”
And still believed  that God lived in the sky

Even though I’ve not  done maths for years
I fall into  brown studies next to squares
Ellipses please me  with their enclosed space
Sequential numbers  tilt my mind to  grace.

Calculus is nonsense in its way
Where nothing re-appears to  our dismay
It comes and goes like waves do on the beach
Where men would stand up on a box to preach.

Ah,shall I never know my other life
Where to the grace of words I  would be wife?

He reads a dictionary in bed
He  uses real hankies
He never says anything when he comes home from work
He is too talkative in bed
He thinks  women are born knowing how to bake
He looks like Jordan Peterson
He looks like Einstein
He looks unhappy all the time
He is too young for me.
He only has a bath at Xmas

She reads a thesaurus in bed
She can’t write letters with a real pen
She keeps screaming in bed when I am trying to sleep
She only likes sex at Xmas
She has a better job than I do and she tells everyone
She can’t  find her sense of direction.
She wears lipstick at the Dentists
She wears wincyette nightgowns in summer
She sleeps with her bra on.
She sleeps dressed for work
She marks exam papers in bed
She does mental arithmetic  when I kiss her.

We are bored

So goodbye  to  Theresa May
Gone tomorrow
Here today
Shy and sly and all too tense
Geography’s no recompense
Keep out trespassers like me
Persecute the Zuiderzee
Send me back to where I’m from
Cut me up and suck my thumb
Eyes are Nordic, hair  is too
I am now  an Irish Jew
The Armada’s ship  did sink
Sephardic Spanish Jews  I think
Married for their  handsome looks
Hair as black as any duke’s
So the Irish people are
Celtic,Jewish,   shout Hurrah!
I think I’ll get a  passport new
Move to Mayoh, seas of blue.
Let me find a lover there
They marry late, how do they dare?
They were poor so I am here
Grey with dust  and  white with fear

https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/how-palestinians-keep-warm

Choose one word and say it over
and over, till it builds a fire inside your mouth.
Adhafera, the one who holds out, Alphard, solitary one,
the stars were named by people like us.
Each night they line up on the long path between worlds.
They nod and blink, no right or wrong
in their yellow eyes. Dirah, little house,
unfold your walls and take us in.

My well went dry, my grandfather’s grapes
have stopped singing. I stir the coals,
my babies cry. How will I teach them
they belong to the stars?
They build forts of white stone and say, “This is mine.”
How will I teach them to love Mizar, veil, cloak,
to know that behind it an ancient man
is fanning a flame?
He stirs the dark wind of our breath.
He says the veil will rise
till they see us shining, spreading like embers
on the blessed hills.

Well, I made that up. I’m not so sure about Mizar.
But I know we need to keep warm here on earth
And when your shawl is as thin as mine is, you tell stories.

The eye needs just a hint to see the whole
But there may be more than one…. as inhow people imagined Hitler to be a Saviour

Mary was up half the night suffering from diarrhoea which she could not even spell. Eventually she managed to get to sleep and woke up feeling drained of energy.She had had no meal the previous night ,please accept a pot of yoghurt.

when she got up she put her clothes on on top of her nightdress and did not even get washed which is very hard.  Her poor cats have been terribly worried. Yes Mary now has two cats as her old cat Emile  was feeling lonesome without his father Stan.

Are you alright mother they’re meows nervously.

I think so. I don’t know what brought that on unless it was my arthritis tablets. if it’s not one thing it’s another I don’t know where I’m coming or going. but never mind I will give you your breakfasts  and you can go out into the garden and learn about all the intriguing spots where spiders make their webs

Can we not go into the shed  mother?

how are you? could you ?it’s I don’t know what you’re going to find me in there it’s a long time since I’ve been in it mysel.I’m afraid of falling

What a pity that the two cats are so small they cannot lift Mary up if she falls over. what kind of animal would be the most useful in that respect?

perhaps a st. Bernard dog  but the cats wouldn’t like that very much.

how difficult life is Mary was weeping as she sipped a cup of weak tea.

 I will probably feel better in a few days. I have got to send a card to a sick friend today and I probably feel more sick than he does but never mind I am determined To live for another 10 years at least  by then my pension will be not worth very much. but on the other hand was the savings accounts giving so little interest is it worth not spending your money?

Life was hard enough before the referendum but now it is a nightmare

One of Mary’s friends shouting at her down the phone or where is a matter of fact  Mary did not vote because she could not bring herself to go for the polling station without her late husband  Stan. I will have to get married again she told herself otherwise I’m not going to be able to vote and that will be dreadful. although with this pride of idiots running the country does it matter who you vote for?

Democracy is not what we thought it was. if he says he’s stupid  and he’s been to Oxford what are we to believe? like he went to Eton and then to Christchurch and then into the city what on earth are there other people like you did not have these advantages. on the other hand it might be the very advantages which are making people stupid.
I often find the Sainsbury’s delivery men are far more intelligent than my friends who have been to university. at least the uneducated have not had their mind ruined by learning things they do not understand like calculus and non Euclidean geometry.

parrot learning  …….who was the man with rubbish  in his head …..why it’s bias can you believe it

I thought it must be Moses but he lived too long ago. if he did exist.

How do you know whether to believe what is in the Bible?

Oh for goodness sake mother, have some breakfast cried Susie. I know you feel unwell but it will pass

suddenly the door opened and in Iran Annie the ex mistress of Stan. she come up with a mistress of a ghost  and Annie was wearing some peach coloured trousers and a brown and orange striped woolen jumper  with matching hair screen from the Photoshop

I’m going up to London and she told  them.

why      shouted. Mary. what is wrong with knitting Ham?

I just feel like a change of scene and you do not look well enough to accompany me

that is so true said Mary. I am so weak I  can understand that

Would you like me to buy you a gift?

yes please I would like a rubber with  a Union Jack printed on it

and a flag of Ireland the Republic I mean.

are you going to hang yourself as a window.

no I am going to hang the flag out of the window

do you think that’s safe because Ireland will still be in the EU oh well  get a flag of Russia

they are not in the EU. is Russia in Europe or Asia?

No don’t bother about that  let me make your bed so you can lie down again until I return

goodbye

Hello how is this the microphone is not working I mean the external microphone because I’ve got the cold and the Jack but I think there’s a little piece that should keep on to it and I’ll put it on my table  on the keyboard of a laptop but unfortunately it must have fallen off and I can’t find it but it must be near me somewhere so I don’t understand why I can’t find it but maybe because I’m feeling sad maybe my eyes are not working properly and I should leave it until another time

I was talking to my sister about poetry and it was really interesting she mentioned that her husband have been called for jury service in March but he constantly falls asleep she was wondering how he would manage listening to the lawyers and the judge I will just have to wait to see

New line I wish I wish that we were going away somewhere although when I say we take for letting that I’m on my own now so I should listen to

Thank you very much for suggestions  voice technology. I fit all Boogie Documents although I may need an external microphone especially to the Chromebook as the microphone does not have settings which can be altered it only has the level of the sound produced . … it’s  only a wooden Windows laptop there are more options and settings but even now it says we are having trouble hearing you try and move into a fireplace hole using an external microphone and I my voice sounds quite loud to me so I don’t know why they can’t hear it however I have discovered that I think speak more quickly um this technology seems to prefer it because it doesn’t simply try to type in Word that you say but it tries to make sense of it after work located in a sentence and what its relation to you and then that is something really you mention anything that sounds alright iPhone then it will put iPhone evening you say my phone my sister that will put iPhone my sister quite often I supposed it may be programmed with the most commonly used words or the most modern words um I don’t know how it was very is one was to buy some special software a bit reluctant to spend a lot of money when I don’t know if I still use it but it’s only when it’s working this is very good
It’s scene some surprises about people alone

She was built like a brick shithouse

Ya, born with a silver spoon in her mouth

Her momma was like an old brown mouse

And her pa was just a slimy stuck up louse.

She was built like an old doghouse

On the top, sharp eyed vultures used to roost

Her brother has gone for a Dead Sea cruise

Her sister wants to let all hell break loose.

She was in for life with those smart  sharp spooks

A creepy horror in every nook

Her ma never learned her how to cook

She ain’t never even read a single book.

No aphrodisiac ain’t of much use

When the true Furies are on the loose.

Do what you can to cook thet goose

Ain’t so good to blow your own fuse.

No,those Furies are on the ball

They come looking for us one an’ all.

Keep  face hid and ego small…

What’s thet dark shadow on your wall?

The door was open.I saw her body in the freezer.
I  knelt down and pulled her out gently
She was still conscious.
The day before she read you can avoid washing your jeans for a year if you kill the germs by freezing
I felt guilty.I had thought she was intelligent enough to realise she should have put herself through a wool wash  with Silk and Wool detergent
As she thawed out I admired her  body freely.She has never let me see her whole self before.
Then she came to and said she was going to do a degree at Oxford
What in? I gently asked
Theology, as nobody wants to do it, it’s the easiest way to get in
What a thought.The end of Western civilisation.
Are you sure? Why not do mathematics?
Thanks for the compliment, but no.
I kissed her cold cheeks and proposed
Now we are  married and live in Arnside selling  rock