What did all those sermons do?
Did they say he was a Jew?
Oh, Jesus.
Did he want the First Crusade
It is his blood the priest creates
Lord Jesus.
I don’t like the way things are
I am getting tired of war
Kill Jesus.
What has human wisdom done
From Wittgenstein to Abraham?
Cripes, Jesus!
Does research improve our lives
As for grants, the scholars strive?
Ask Jesus.
We may have chemotherapy
Radiation, history.
Where’s Jesus?
You’d think that after all the years
We’d have used up all our tears
Sweet Jesus.
Love your neighbour as yourself
Give 10 % of all your wealth
Aye, Jesus
.Do what’s better, not what’s worse
I see another fragrant hearse.
It’s Jesus.
See the plastic Crucifix
See him dying with dry lips
Bend your knees, confess your sins
Otherwise, the Devil wins
Not Jesus
.We destroy the good we hate
Envy writhes and with pride mates.
The progeny will wreck the earth
Eden’s burning as drones pass.
No, Jesus.No Jesus.
Know Jesus.

Art by Katherine using Microsoft Paint

Mary wandered in a dazed heat down the high street until she came to a shop she had never entered before.Gathering her nerve, she dashed in and saw a  big pack of 6 Pairs of Marigold Rubber GlovesShe  put them into her basket as she absent mindedly picked up a big pair of salt and pepper grinders.There was no queue so  she was back in the street in no time.
See, shopping is not that hard, she said to herself.
Mary came to the bus stop where her friend Annie was waiting.Annie was dressed in a pink silk dress and had no makeup on.
This is a nightie,she informed Mary.
Have you got any underwear on?
Of course I have.I wouldn’t come out here with only a nightie on
Well,looking at all the other women , you would be  better covered than them!
What  have you been buying,Mary continued.
I decided as it is Emile’s birthday this week I’d get him a card.That newsagent by the market as some lovely ones.I spent 2 hours looking at them alll
Here,look at it!
The card had a photo of a  ginger cat smoking a cigar
I bet that’s a tom cat,Mary said,Emile would prefer to see a lady cat doing some embroidery or knitting.
I’ve never seen a cat knitting, cried Annie.
That is not a proof that they never knit.Maybe they do it at night
Mary got home and opened the  box where 6 packets of rubber gloves were resting
She tried to open one but in the end she  had to use  the scissors.
These look good, she said to Emile
But look, one has got  no finger top.It will let the water in!
Shall i ring 999 and get Dave,.asked Emile.I don’t want you to have a panic attack
Just a mo,Mary said…..I think I must have done it with these scissors, so the others will be ok
She found one old rubber glove in the drawer and turned it inside out as otherwise they were both for the left hand.
How about the salt and pepper grinders, asked Emile.Shall we try those
I’ve done enough.I shall make some tea
The bell rang and Dave the paramedic rushed in
Annie said she heard you scream, he said anxiously
Well, it was a rubber glove with a hole in it,Mary murmured
Well,  gloves are not alive and so they cannot die, he responded~
What would Wittgenstein have said
That which is never alive can never die!
And so say all of us!

As Mary ate her Weetabix, she felt a pain in her left leg rather like a toothache  gone awol
Emile, what are you doing?
Emile crawled out looking dusty. And he had just had a bath.
I was trying to bite the hairs off your leg, he miaowed plaintively
There are no hairs on my leg, she whispered. Oh, dear,I must  have walked into a cobweb
I wish Stan had got a cobweb brush, she muttered.
But do we really need a different brush for everything? Soon we will have one for each tooth. That will be expensive
She felt in her pocket for her Tablet. She wanted to draw a diagram of her brush cupboard using an Android App. But her pocket was empty
The back door opened and in ran Annie wearing a yellow nightdress and matching slippers
Hello, she cried. I  wanted to catch you before 9 am
Why, asked Mary?
The postman will be here by then. He has got a parcel for me. But I put your address.
What is the point of secrecy when you live alone. You have no man to question your expenses, have you? Nor a woman either
Well, Emile might ask me to explain.
Just because Emile is male it does not give him the right to tell you what to do
All my life I have obeyed men, Annie cried
Yes, after you have manipulated, seduced and terrified them
That is very cruel. I was only trying to help them.
Well, you may have done, but why not help yourself?
How can I do that?
Tune into your body and see what comes to mind
Beetroot, Annie responded.
So you must need  them, get dressed and we will go to the greengrocers
You have got very bossy, said Annie. Did you have a nightmare?
It was more like a night-tiger, Mary revealed. Something bit my foot and it hurt
Oh, mother , cried Emile, it was me!
You, Emile. What made you do that, she said angrily?
It was in my way as I crawled under the duvet, the cat whispered
Surely you could have gone further down.
I wanted to see what you tasted like!
That is evil, not to say perverted, Mary told him. I shall take you for therapy or would Confession be better? Is it a compulsion you cannot help or is it a sin?
Annie was silent. She  did not like questions nor  any kind of prolonged thought
Don’t ask me, she finally said. Maybe Emile needs a man in the house.
I don’t want any more men, Mary said sadly. They seem to die
Well, Stan was 128 years old. Annie informed her.I saw his birth certificate once. Unless it was 12.8 years
Don’t be so ridiculous. How could he have been 12.8 years old?
It must be a miracle, said Annie. Tell the Pope and he might be  declared a saint soon
St Stan of Knittingham, Patron Saint of Almost Adolescents.
The bell rang. In ran Dave.
He was dressed in navy.
I am  ready to take you to Church, he told the ladies
To church? I’d rather go to Wigan Pier
Oh,  the sea is not there on Sundays!
Is it there on the Sabbath, Annie muttered?
No, it’s not, Dave said quietly
Wow,  two more miracles, she said as she fainted into the Pantry
How annoying, Mary said. I just classified the jam
Well, things could be worse, said Dave. She’s not broken any and cut herself
What, she falls and breaks nothing. She must be very light.
Yes, she nearly  is electric, he quipped
Whatever next?

And so say all of us