Autumn rust,red,gold,so gay.
Drystone walls, edging fields,
Apples gathered,holly berries
Flash so brightly
Look like flowers
Sun shines sideways,shadows long
Of trees appear I dwell among
Woods of gentle beeches sing
Swaying with the sideward wind.
See their roots, all intertwined.
Feel their geometry in the mind.
Look up now into the sky,
See the V formation high.
Geese fly home at end of day.
My heart is moved by patterned dance
In this peace and great silence
My mind opens like the sky
And in this moment I would die,
So I could stay with this still vision
Of geese set out on autumn mission.
Snails in rain pools slither near
My feet upon the terrace here
And look,upon their whorled backs
All the sense of life is packed.
And yet so easily Life’s destroyed,
When blind foot steps into the void.
I ‘ll try to get it right just one more time
You did not converse with me in words
You were simply present with your Light
Nowhere did I feel your power and might
You were no eagle, but a little bird I ‘ll try to get it right just one more time.pp
Who made our language with its subtle rhymes?
The ancient people had their well trained Scribes You were always there,oh gentle Light
You gave me warmth, you changed my too fixed sight
A comforter , a Spirit, how describe? I ‘ll try to get it right a final time.
The agony inside me lost its bitep
I wanted to go on, to be alive You do not always show your golden Light
We do not know when we at last arrive
We do not reach this meeting place by strife I ‘ve tried to get it right this final time I never saw such Gold until that night
The myriad random movements, words and signs Inanimate, cold blooded,hot or warm In mystery make the world, complete, designed
From the stars at night, to needles’ eyes Every size is present eye to horn The myriad random movements, words and signs
Yet, not robotic, shivering, alive Like a human baby when new born In mystery the world is fresh, designed
So every morning we awake surprised The dreams we had afflict us like flung stones The random movements, words and latent signs
Are dreams the truth or can the unknown lie? Are we subject to their nightly roams? The mystery is the world makes its designs
As the wild geese land at one in storms The murmurations of the starlings charm The myriad random movements, words and signs In mystery make the world, replete,divine
I ‘ll try to get it right for one more time
You did not converse with me in words
You were simply present in your Light
Nowhere did I feel your power and might
You were no eagle, but a little bird I ‘ll try to get it right just one more time.
Who made our language with its subtle rhymes?
The ancient people had their well trained Scribes You were always there,oh gentle Light
You gave me warmth, you changed my too fixed sight
A comforter , a Spirit, how describe? I ‘ll try to get it right a final time.
The agony inside me lost its bite
I wanted to go on, to be alive You do not always show your golden Light
We do not know when we at last arrive
We do not reach this meeting place by strife I ‘ve tried to get it right this final time I never saw such Gold until that night
Actors are the poets of the real.
They mould the air with bodily appeal
The body is the soul through which we feel
Imprisoned bodies kill the soul ideal.
Dancers fuse with music stretching air.
They push and pull the freedoms that live there
They play with Newton’s laws as they change gear
The bodies bend and flow with utter zeal.
Singers touch us deeply to the core.
As we listen with our shrunken hearts so sore
We will cry out, oh, more,oh, more , yes, more.
As deep into our inner self ,they gore.
In every aspect of our human lives
Rhythm, meter, movement are our guides
The myriad random movements, words and signs Inanimate, cold blooded,hot or warm In mystery make the world, complete, designed
From the stars at night, to needles’ eyes Every size is present eye to horn The myriad random movements, words and signs
Yet, not robotic, shivering, alive Like a human baby when new born In mystery the world is fresh, designed
So every morning we awake surprised The dreams we had afflict us like flung stones The random movements, words and latent signs
Are dreams the truth or can the unknown lie? Are we subject to their nightly roams? The mystery is the world makes its designs
As the wild geese land at one in storms The murmurations of the starlings charm The myriad random movements, words and signs In mystery make the world, replete,divine
Walking to the bus stop from our door We fell into a subtle harmony Like little children dawdling on the shore
No haste, no chiding, wanting nothing more Like swimming in a balmy pale blue sea Or walking to the bus stop from our door
Who is known and which one is the knower? What is here and what is yet to be For little children dawdling on the shore?
Setting aspirations ever lower No competing, rush nor victory Just walking to the bus stop from our door
Though human who gave us creative power? Who has loved and who evoked in me The feel of dawdling on the sea, the shore?
Who hears the sorrow, plangent , of the sea Where earth and stars reflect so rhythmically Walking with you touching nevermore Oh, that I were with you on some shelled shore
Who fancied his skill as a joker.
He teased all his patients
both the young and the ancient…
And his cat was labelled,Please stroke her.
It should have read,Please do stroke me…
I’d like to sit up on your knee…
But I can’t tell the doc
As it’s ten o’clock
So it’s time for my next cup of tea.
My psyche is split into four
And in each part I love and adore
Alfred the cat
And his woollen mat..
I wish sincerely I had got twenty more..
Letting go of all my self defence As if I might touch all of you at once I opened up my body to the winds And covered you by lying skin to skin
In the cradle of my being held Like an infant needing mother’s aid I did not move to break the chysallis Both of us were melting in that space
Whose the hand and whose the mind that work Metaphors may guide and also hurt Remorseless is the process that goes on Until the new forms break this one to one
At last the work is done, the task complete Dead or living, this is no defeat
A day with my own self, such peaceful hours The inner seas make music as they roll And in the ground the worms air roots of flowers
The rain comes down in cold but gentle showers Desiring to give moisture to all souls A symbol of the value of quiet hours
In Northern hills we looked for Durham owls They hunt by day to keep their bodies whole While in the ground the worms air roots of flowers
My loved one was a native of those towers Highcliff Nab and Hasty Bank called home My days with him a-wandering there for hours
As he died , deep in my heart I howled I held his hands, remembered , paid the toll While in the ground the worms digest the sour
Lying in the heather we had roamed May God have mercy on his homing soul Now I enjoy in reverie our hours Deep in the ground the worms drowse mixed with flowers
Saturday was shopping then a walk Epping,Ongar,Finchingfield by car Reading book reviews and chewing stalks Buttercups and meadows,Henry Moore
Driving back from Chelmsford, cornfields flamed Smoke and fire and earth, the sun dismayed Farmers working hard, a harvest, grain The sky through mist a cobalt blue displayed
Standon with its fords and wandering cows Little rivers,Essex, flowing down The Stort joins with the Lea,a gurglimg sound Water for the Thames and mossy ground
The earth feels like my body sacrificed An artist’s canvas stretched , a matricide
In my despair I felt that I was stuck Paralysed by grief and guilt I failed By the end I had tried every trick
From prayer unthought to deeps of logic black My life, my engine ,juddered off the rails I hated God and of “his” Church was sick
Starving and alone I was in shock The death of one I loved had made me frail By the end I had tried every trick
I felt Love’s arms around me, death was blocked I knew this goodness, why else would I wail? I thought I hated God but Love had struck
Warm and golden light that did me hold Where are you now when Evil has grown bold? Kind despair that made me long time sit By the end I learned Love needs no trick
The grieving one who never looks outside
Suffers like a prisoner in a cell
Yet we has some freedom to decide
To grieve yet view our real world here as well.
To turn the eyes back to the lost and dead.
Is what we all must do in painful times
But to this natural world, we must be wed
And under suffering draw a heavy line.
From despair, we rise to be renewed;
To see our friends and make our hearts feel glad.
And look behind us with a gentler view
See the joy and love and all the kindness had.
In the sea of grief, we swim not drown
Cast away the weights which pull us down.
In my despair I felt that I was stuck Paralysed by grief and guilt I failed By the end I had tried every trick
From prayer unthought to deeps of logic black My life, my engine ,juddered off the rails I hated God and of “his” Church was sick
Starving and alone I was in shock The death of one I loved had made me frail By the end I had tried every trick
I felt Love’s arms around me, death was blocked I knew this goodness, why else would I wail? I thought I hated God but Love had struck
Warm and golden light that did me hold Where are you now when Evil has grown bold? Kind despair that made me long time sit By the end I learned Love needs no trick
Already sparrows dart between the shrubs No asking where to go or what to do Before the blossom and emerging bulbs
No outdoor flowers decorate my tubs The waxy flowered cyclamens are few Already sparrows dart between the shrubs
As I watch the sparrows my heart ‘s stilled The politics, the corrections are subdued Yet trees will blossom over crocus bulbs
The leaders seek to force a war by will No reflection, certain what to do Would I were a sparrow on the sill
Will the warships move their mighty hulls? From bow to stern they ‘re filled with bombs for U Yet trees will blossom over tiny bulbs
The branches in the breeze sway , cats miaow Was evolution wise for chimpanzees? Already sparrows dart between the shrubs Our species cannibals , can we not love?
I saw you struggling with your walking frame Guessed that you must suffer too much pain I smiled because you caught my sidewards glance Then your face too by smiling was enhanced
So often older people are ignored Lost and lonely hidden at the core Once this man fought in a major war I hope by some fine friend he was restored
I saw him disappearing down the road His posture more erect, his back less bowed And in my heart I felt the smiling too Enchanted by the essence , by the cue.
I got on a bus, ignored my phone, Smiling still I pushed the door key home
It’s frosty and I found my knit wool skirt It’s purple heather Northern, long and warm I remember falling down some steps Stone,they were ,you took me in your arms
With you standing staring on the edge Oh, Cleveland Hills that make a cliff like fall We drove the A 19 at deep sunset The profile of the hills stood out,they called
They ,like Langdale, speak myself to me My soul awakes with joy to cliffs of sight Rejoice, oh psalmist, sing your rhapsody From deep darkness to the morning light
I am the earth, my body will lie here From Arnside’s Viaduct to Buttermere
Signs and symbols guide the route.
Love gives the soul her appetite.
Though the night is black and starless,
The inner guide is never careless.
The notes are struck,the tune is played,
Plain melodies are overlaid.
In this chant and benediction,
Healing comes for desolation.
Though the passage way is narrow,
This pathway is the one to follow.
Struggling through the mud and mire,
We see in darkness tongues of fire.
The sacred centre of our life
Is never found without some strife.
Just then the dark and light combine,
To create a symbol for our mind.s
We sense the sacred in these peaceful walls
Yet men have died in places that appal
Women too and children then unborn
Fell into cold dark earth in lands forlorn
As our weapons grow, our hearts are hard
The people live in Gaza behind bars
The water all polluted as taps drip
Is this war or is it vengeance fit?
In Britain, it’s the poor who lose the war
As it was when Jesus Mary bore
Yet here are clerics blessing marching bands
A military show for all the land
The genocide in Europe of the Jews
The self destructive actions of the proud
The fields of France filled sick with blood and bone
Who are we to cast judgemental stones?
The War’s not over when the fighting stops
The soldiers and the tortured suffer shock
The widows and the parents all bereaved.
The unborn children hover in unease
We let the prisoners out from camps of death
But who would take them in or take their path?
The injuries will travel down the years
As still we fight and still we live in fear
It’s Europe’s grasp and greed which was the cause
Of death in Gaza, Syria, in long wars
Yet we judge we are more civilised
When we self defend with bitter lies
I saw you struggling with your walking frame Guessed that you must suffer too much pain I smiled because you caught my sidewards glance Then your face too by smiling was enhanced
So often older people are ignored Lost and lonely hidden at the core Once this man fought in a major war I hope by some fine friend he was restored
I saw him disappearing down the road His posture more erect, his back less bowed And in my heart I felt the smiling too Enchanted by the essence , by the cue.
I got on a bus, ignored my phone, Smiling still I pushed the door key home
O happy worm that of my flesh might eat When after death I lie in deep in the earth My bosom,hands and eyes become your meat
You have no sun as you enjoy your feast And none is chosen as we were at birth O happy worm that of my flesh might eat
All of us are equal in defeat None are high or low , what are we worth? My brain,my hands,my eyes become worms’ meat
In the soil, we rest in comfort sweet Let us all be blessed,God make no curse You made the happy worms who will us eat
O remember the deep ash from Auschwitz’ heat The little children killed without Kaddish Those hearts ,those hands, those eyes no worm could eat
,
Why should we be satisfied by wish When people burn or starve beside our dish O Godly worm that of my flesh might eat Let my very self become your meat
When true love’s gone and doom hangs over head When life runs like a river to the sea Then shall I take new lovers to my bed. And with their carnal touch consoled be?
When my love lies and breaks my little heart . When life seems grey and rocks bestrew my path . Then, shall I my life of evil start And on the world shall I bestow my wrath?
When true loves lie and wreck all loyalty. When puzzlement makes all the world seem mad. Then I shall upend causality And let myself do deeds which make me glad.
For I have love’s own child inside my soul
And I shall tend her till at last she’s whole
Those little words invented as we loved
Now have no other speaker but myself.
Lost, unique, the man so well beloved,
Those little words called out from our sweet love-
In my own speech, these words no longer live
I cannot use our words, that loving wealth.
The chosen words invented as we loved
Now have no other listener but myself.
I ‘ll try to get it right for one more time
You did not converse with me in words
You were simply present in your Light
Nowhere did I feel your power and might
You were no eagle, but a little bird I ‘ll try to get it right just one more time.
Who made our language with its subtle rhymes?
The ancient people had their well trained Scribes You were always there,oh gentle Light
You gave me warmth, you changed my too fixed sight
A comforter , a Spirit, how describe? I ‘ll try to get it right a final time.
The agony inside me lost its bite
I wanted to go on, to be alive You do not always show your golden Light
We do not know when we at last arrive
We do not reach this meeting place by strife I ‘ve tried to get it right this final time I never saw such Gold until that night
How my heart speaks 