I want a suit of armour for my heart

Some kind friend upset my applecart
Why do people offer me advice?
I want a suit of armour for my heart

I don’t suppose I’ll ever be a tart
Looking at old men with wild surmise.
A sweet, kind friend upset my applecart

I need a mask and fifty poisoned darts
So I can take my foes with real surprise
I want a suit of armour for my heart

I dream I’m going to hospitals in parts
My eyes  will go to Moorfields, which is wise
The Royal Free will take my pressure charts

The Royal Marsden  therapies are darts
The local place is famed for telling lies
I want a suit of armour for my heart

The Middlesex are writing to impart
The news that they are  sacking doctors wise
Why did you upset me by surprise?

I guess the time may come for me to die
Tell the Lord I’m known for being shy
An long time “friend”  has cut me to the heart
I need a suit of armour and spare parts