Month: March 2013

Why not look into your own window?

I was recalling that a few weeks ago in the dark winter I went outside.The light was on but the curtains were still open.I stood by the window and looked in,I found that exciting.The room looked more beautiful than I normally see it to be.I was more aware of the pictures on the wall which maybe I don’t always look at when in the room.I saw the bookshelves and some little objects like sea shells..and some papers and pens on the dining table.. a telephone and some coats on a stand

I think it does work best in the evening when the lights are lit.

So ,next ,I am thinking of standing on my head  and looking at the room upside down.But I shall need an intrument like a periscope unless I put a table or chair outside and stand upside down on that…so if I don’t post I could be in hospital or in a police cell! Or maybe having psychiatric treatment.But surely if it’s one’s own house and garden one should be permitted to do such acrobatic stunts..? Or I could just invert a photo!

A pity we have no feet on our heads.They could be useful like those eyes in the back of the head that some people seem to have

I believe it’s important to get new perspectives on ordinary life…. which is not ordinary at all.and it’s cheaper than drink and drugs.

I think being curious is better than not being interested

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A canal

Maybe this is a rationalization but I believe it’s a good thing to look into other people’s houses,after all that’s why windows were invented.. so people could see in.That’s what  my mother told me and who am I to contradict her?

Yes,who am I?Someone who looks into windows.Once I had a boyfriend who was very handsome.. only once,but there we go.As we were out walking by a canal.. so romantic.. we passed the back of some houses and he told me it was a crime to look into a woman’s bedroom and watch her undressing.

But unless you were very tall,how could you look into her bedroom and anyway how would  you know which one it was

Would you ring the bell and say,

Excuse me,.madam,which room do you sleep in?

And she might say.

Who are you,the KGB?

And pour a pan of water over his head or maybe some ink….

..come to think of it,that would explain a  lot. about his appearance!

I guess,reading between the lines, he wanted to watch me undress but I kept quiet.Another time we got caught in heavy rain riding our bikes [yes,no cars thenm] When we got back to his place,he was so kind.He said,

Your trousers look wet.I don’t mind if you take them off.

. but a little bird warned me not to…I only had the one pair and maybe he wanted them for himself!

He never took me out for a meal  but he was extremely good looking.. dark hair,brown eyes and  pale creamy skin… on his face.. I never saw his body as we broke up before long and I was a virgin in those days although I did use Tampax which was forbidden by the Bishop..

Can you believe it?A  Bishop  should never have heard of Tampax.. they were all celibate then.I thought before it meant celebrate but I realised later it was nothing to celebrate.

Anyway,I guess after using those super large ones I was not a virgin and it was easier than finding another handsome boyfriend..no point sleeping with an ugly one unless you are extremely kind which I am not….I’m just fairly kind and selfish in the usual way..I want my own way.

Blimey,what was I going to say?

Oh,yes,don’t draw the curtains as I am painting them tomorrow..And then I shall draw them or was it the other way round?

How seeing human troubles affects us differently

Photo0284This morning I was having coffee in a very nice place when a group of people came inwhich consisted of about 7 physically and mentally disabled adults each with a carer.They were all given drinks.Some seemed calm and happy.One woman seemed very agitatedShe was walking around on tip toe jabbing her fingers into her own face… a large kind young worker was with her.. seemed not to see other people.My reaction was to feel happy that such people are now taken out to enjoy the sunny morning and a drink in cafe.My companion found it very distressing  for some hours afterwards too. I have often seen them or more usually it is children like that who are taken to some coffee shop,I was only pleased that the place from where they come will pay the high prices charged.Yet on other occasions this friend watches violent films on TV with no effect.I never do.We are all different.And now we have a better society I hope the government is not planning to cut back on care for the handicapped… they used to be very restricted partly because noone wanted to see them.

I would not mind working with them if I had training for it.Would you like your son or daughter to do that instead of going for training to work in the City or become a lawyer or doctor? My friend could never do it.I find that food for thought

Window gazing

Don’t turn round,because I am staring into your window.I want to see if you have any weird pictures on your wall and whether you put the ironing board down when you finishor leave it up.And if you have a fire.

Do you have any  books?I am  wondering what your life is like,trying to imagine ,I see the world is divided between people who have patterns on the carpet,those who prefer plain carpet and those who have no carpets..And again,wallpaper.Why does it have all those little faces in it?Are they all watching us?If so why?Are they angels or spirits1?Is that a  bottle of brandy you are swigging?This woman is smoking and looking at Vogue and next door the woman is holding a crying baby.Here is a man standing gazing into a mirror…

I look into your windows but not the bedroom windows as they are too high up!Unless I get a ladder.. from the window cleanerIs it a sin or a crime to look into other people’s windows?I suppose  people might think it eccentric.I would love to look into people’s eyes and see their spirits but they are invisible now.Once I could see them like alittle lightAnd  anyhow. people get annoyed if you look into their eyes too long or  not long enough.I believe my staring is odious but we all have our oddnesses…I can’t prove it..but I believe it

Discuss briefly and then  write your own oddity down

Where has Sunday gone?

Sunday evening is a time when in the UK those who have jobs get ready to go into work [unless they are on shifts].Children prepare their school bags… the weekkend is coming to an end

How different though is the earlier part of Sunday from what is was in my youth.In those days the shops were closed and we would visit relatives after we had been to Church in the morning.We would have the traditional English breakfast of eggs and bacon with delicious fried bread.. [after Mass if we had fasted in order to receive Holy Communion]

In the summer during the afternoon we were often taken out by bus into the countryside.Sometimes relatives would come.Otherwise we had no phone and  would just go round unannounced and be given tea.There was a special quiet calm feeling on Sunday.

After the  special Sunday dinner,mothers would do little cooking later on..So it was a bit of a rest for them.Men would relax,smoke a cigarette and discuss politics or football.Women would knit as they chatted and children roamed free  in the streets and parks.

Now,Sunday is almost like any other day.Many people work to keep shops open..Instead of Church it’s Starbucks or Costa Coffee.Children even of secondary school age are supervised all the time and roaming free is no longer possible.There is a feeling of fear in the air..there were always paedophiles and  fear has escalated.We have too many news programmes so if someome in Florida dies in a fire we hear it here in the UK…we need boundaries,

And the most important fact is we cannot now call in on anyone because now Sunday is not a day when everyone will be at home.Indeed a roast Sunday dinner is a rare event… more likely it will be horsemeat burgers abd frozen chips.The fridge is full and each person can pick a meal and heat it in the microwave.Some children come to school who have never eaten at a table or used cutlery.Some are not toilet trained at five!

A free day for personal and social life,as well as the time for religious activities,mediation or conversation… that has almost gone…and what a loss it is.We could drive  out to visit friends as  it was the only day traffic was low… but now we just can’t do that.Every day we have delivery lorries and other heavy traffic.

Mostly the loss is that day when apart from religious sevices there was the freedom to socialise and meet people knowing they were not in a hurry.We were allowed to play but women did not do washing,ironing or heavy work..so they could be with their husband and enjoy watching their children play

The one advantage is that now many old people live alone and so to have the shops and Library open is very nice for them…but the loss is something irreparable.

Some write,some have rites and some have OCD

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I may have put a jokey title but I know OCD is nothing to joke about…… it is  hard for sufferers and their families

Yet all rites and rituals are cousins to OCD.I suppose the distinction may  come  if you find that you grow fearful and distraught when, by some chance, you cannot carry out your usual rites and rituals like washing your hands ten times or avoiding cracks in the sidewalk or pavement……many children fear that but most forget as they grow more confident

I certainly hate to see my early morning tea if it’s in the wrong cup but not enough to stop me from drinking 5 mugfuls of it.I am a tea lady ..one drink I cannot live without

Religion has, as one important aspect, a way of attempting to create order in a frightening world.We make offerings to placate the gods who cause storms and fires and epidemic diseases.Though by now we ourselves  have created even worse darker gods, like nuclear bombs

I think the value of rellgion is the coming together and getting strength through that.

It unites people in a helpful way [ except for the other people who have different rites.]

People with OCD often have rituals which are private… and if they can’t do them they are agitated  almost beyond endurance…But if they can do them they feel safer… And sometimes they can  take  over  a life and then the person needs help or courage to face the hidden fear and outface it.

The same way,if your religion takes over your life  I think you need help.Religion is to encourage you live a better life not cause you excessive misery and pain… or not too much…we all do wrong,we all make mistakes… we do penance.We are forgiven,we forgive….  some people don’t, so avoid such people if you can.They even frighten God!

Whatever God is. he accepts us…. that’s my firm belief.. and ….if He won’t accept me then I won’t accept Him or Her

Does God have a body…does he have a mind?

I guess we cannot conceive what God may be or not in discursive language at any rate

Do you mind,Lord?

No,not at all.. I am listening

Thank  you,God

My pleasure.

We are here, waiting patiently, despite all the trials.and the troubles..ready to listen

Lost or broken rituals

May the day bless you with happiness and joy

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My early life and its rituals:

In the evening after we finished our homework we packed our satchels ready for school.We filled our fountain pens with ink and sharpened our pencils.We used pencils a good deal as  ink was not cheap.Then  we wound up our watches and dad polished all our shoes and brushed them till they gleamed.When I was small I recall us kneeeling in a semi circle by the fire and saying night prayers out loud together.Then later we stopped doing that and so we said them in our bedrooms.We always knelt down.Dad used to sing lullabies when my sister was a baby.Now babies probably have a digital device playing music to them or a mini TV over the cot.In the morning  the prayers were a bit rushed as we were not so good at getting up.Then after breakfast our watches and satchels were ready so we couls dash off to school.I think now even watches are run on batteries  and people use ballpoints with long kasting refills there are few acts we need to do regularly but writing a blog could be one if done thoughtfuly.SatchelI had a satchel like this until I saved enough money to buy a briefcase.