Getting to know someone,I find it is good to first know what is very important to ourselves.. which sometimes we do not know consciously.Second to discover what is most important to the other.I think that may be very hard if we come from different cultures.We may never have come across some of the things most important to the other.We.even in the same culture,live i n self created worlds of meaning.
What matters to me is possibly not all conscious. but it matters that I can say what pleases me or what hurts me without attack.If this is not possible then that is the end of the friendship.
Similarly I should be able to listen to the other
How my heart sings 