Tag: Recreation

A cliche at play keeps the doctor away

 First mew phome pics 007

She’s as easy  to hug as  kissing a bee on the lips
Life’s not as easy as being able to see ghosts smoking
I feel uneasy as  you make my mind sick
Oh,Ted,Go eat Crow
Beat lead.Buy a  fountain pen today.Qouink!
He sits like a corpse at a wedding for dummies
Shall we beat my cat… or hunt hares?Is cruelty good?
It’s  a  treat  to  see your gun;catch my swift?
Why not eat your own dog’s food and leave mine for me.It’s all I have
Eight hundred men caught one gorilla which took a bus into town..Now he’s been given a free Mass in the cathedral.Sorry  a Free Bus Pass ex cathedra
Why no elephant in your room? Are you in need of brass monkeys?
Are you on  an imaginative roller coaster?Join our club for the highly  weird person

Do you ever eat a meringue? Je ne sais qua?I know you ate  French.

Fry me tonight.

Do you often change your sheets in the middle of a sentence?

Does the knight jar you/

Why is sympathy so rare?

Let them eat croissants…

I say.who is David Cameron,anyway?

My Friend is half Jewish.She has those dark yet lustrous eyes….
Now you must empathize with the wrong willed yet able to get the country off my knees.
I say, an empty flattery battery.How discharming
The cat ate my enchillado so I shall eat its mice on rice fried dinner…..take that!Sweet revenge
I said re your novel, Send over the end,not,Go round the bend!How can you work that way.. it’s real neat,you say.On your way
These friendless words are neglected so I shall eat them.Or shall I swallow the dictionary?
The agenda   fructifies  my daydreams into real works of art.. or cunning at least.
Even a wild squirrel finds a beefburger and fries good once in a while
Are you feeling even hotter?Keel over and I’ll snatch you up.I can’t wait.I love your dough so.Give me oil for my lamp keep me churning…. no more spurning
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Intellectual perspective

What is humor except crossing a boundary?
I wish I were an ivy growing on your wall
I wish I were a berry
Just about to fall
I wish I were a hazelnut
And you would break a tooth
For my name is Sally
and not, and not,not Ruth
Image
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My cat

Male tabby cat
Male tabby cat (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Feeling the sadness in my heart
and in my arms a tender feeling
as if the flesh is calling out;
My breath’s coming in gasps and
my throat makes a murmur
as if trying to speak.

Sensitive skin on my inner arms yelps
and my heart aches like
I’ve run too many miles .
My legs feel strong
My mouth is dry and my back
needs an arm around it
for protection.
My eyes are wet with the moisture
that might have made saliva.

My cat died
And then my other cat died.
Whatever.

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No twit left unmourned

Lear_Book_of_Nonsense_111-.jpg
Lear_Book_of_Nonsense_111-.jpg (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Naked as an obscene word
Baked like a mocking bird.
Faked like a plastic turd, he fitted in well to this Government of Mules.
Naked is the way I feel adorned.
Fear and tears filled my heart
Fires in tiers made the men start
Flowers in beer made fine running art
A accessory evil…an it bag.
What is a nit bag,mother?
Obscenity is the love of what no one mentions.
Obscenity is not loved by many conventions
My nerves danced the reel.Imagine how you’d feel with your heart in your  left bunion.How  the ventricle?

Lear Book of Nonsense 103.jpg
Lear Book of Nonsense 103.jpg (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As impervious as a man on a shit bin roof with a leaden heart on his back
As nervous as a slighted man in a room full of mocking whores.
As nervous as an unread look on she whom you adore

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Some bulls are only e-males

A plunesh bull in a kitch
A plush bull in a kitchen

 

Some bulls are only  e-males

The Pope has his own bull…..why can’t he have two so they can mate!

I  have seen cow pats but never bullshit..I never let a bull shit near me,oy vez

Some people enjoy bullfights.They like the inevitability of it.Like  death.

How about bullets… are they young bulls?

And bulletins are premature bullets,I think.

Cock and bull story,right here

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Cock and bull stories

[Hitterdals Church, Telemarken (i.e, Telemark)...
[Hitterdals Church, Telemarken (i.e, Telemark), Norway] (LOC) (Photo credit: The Library of Congress)
Church HDR
Church HDR (Photo credit: I_am_Allan)

Some bulls are only  e-male.

The Pope has his own bull…..why can’t he have two so they can mate!They don’t like sex in the Church but they could go to  a

meadow of buttercups

I  have seen cow pats but never bullshit..I never let a bull shit near me.

Some people enjoy bullfights.They like the inevitability of it.Like  death.

How about bullets… are they young bulls?

And bulletins are premature bullets,I imagine..

It’s the cows I feel sorry for.

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As if I were

November
November (Photo credit: Cape Cod Cyclist)

I was walking behind you

on the footpath

by the river

and I stopped for a moment because

I could see some wrens inside a shrub.

When I looked up

I saw you were

quite far away and  walking fast

as if you were already leaving me

and going on to

the next phase.

The sun shone on the playing field,

It was obscenely green for November,

as if to deny the end of the year

is getting nearer.

I left the wrens fluttering

inside the shrub

and hurried after you

as the swans eyed their five cygnets

and a few drops of rain

ran down my cheek

as if I were weeping

in the sunshine.

You looked smaller,

more determined,

as if anxious

to be off….

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Don’t go to bed,whatever ,who says!

Don’t go to bed with an elephant

Don’t go to bed with a frog

Their skin is too cold

When they unfold

In need go to bed with a log.

 

 

Don’t go to bed with a cobra

Don’t go to bed with a worm

You will feel fear

When snakes come near.

You may go to bed but you’ll squirm.

 

 

Don’t go to bed with a tiger

Don’t go to bed with a lamb

You may feel warm

But not very calm

Lovers unite against spam.

 

 

Come to my bed in the morning

Come to my bed in the night.

I am very soft

When I am washed

Let’s snuggle up till we’re right

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Books ….how not to act old

My books and home 029

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/06/books/review/InsideList-t.html?_r=1

Don’t wear a watch… unless it’s a diamond one and you are Queen Elizabeth

Do have your mobile on a contract not PAYG… you need it for the time

Don’t ever mention fountain pens

Don’t carry a straw shopper

Don’t do joined up handwriting

Don’t do any handwriting

Do hire a man

Do learn about sexually transmitted diseases

Don’t count on your fingers…

Don’t call your lover,my fiance

Don’t wear a “winter coat”

Do get anorexia

Do at least pretend to be manic depressive.

Do kiss everybody.

Do become bisexual

Don’t mention your cataract surgery.

Do die when alone.

Do have herpes but not IBS

Do learn the decimal system

Do learn what a kilogram weighs

Do have a pocket full of calculators

Do spend a fortune on your hair [I only have one]

Do cripple yourself with 6 foot heels.

Do wear a see through blouse and no camisole [  but a nude bra is ok]

Do ride a horse not a bicycle.

Do get a manicure even when you are dead

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Sleep with Shakespeare

It seemed a good idea at the time.But the timing was wrong.Shakespeare was my boyfriend’s friend.To be honest he was a cat.So to preserve my modesty I slept with the cat and not the boyfriend.Just another natural disaster in every day life.

Still,a cat has eyes unlike a flea which is what I sleep with now;I know only because it bites me in the night!Possibly it was from the cat and became a multitude like my sins .which are mainly of omission.A  few are cultivated and the rest grew like weeds.I feel such shame when I think of my life,sleeping with everything but  a human being. Intimacy with moths does not contribute to literature or any other human undertaking and yet it saved a man from torment loving a woman with such a strange personality.So that is good.I also wrote a few plays

A midsummer night’s scream.

Julius seized me.

Richard the Blurred

King Fear

MacDuff,the pudding

Hamrent

Hamerous

Hams of old England.

Nymphs and Leopards.

Liebscreamsche

Nietzsche’s word was my father.

Who won the Bore?

England’s screaming peasants blend

Death ,where is thy King?

Foreigner’a rile us.

Boldlock the beloved

I  made a few dollars selling myself to  an owl.Beyond that my life is herstory.

Can I get bail?I hope the judge is  lenient

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Humorous real books

IM000484.JPG

http://us.macmillan.com/all/editorslist/General/HumorousBooksTickleYourFunnyboneASeriousGuidetotheGuffaw

On Sunday evening people feel bad sometimes….so read  a funny book or wash all your socks,tidy a drawer  or be creative

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Funny notions

Image

Around the unborn it’s lonesome to dwell forever unrestes
As all get out  half way  up path,none arrive in heaven
She’s as beautiful as the way is wrong,I am happy to delay.
As tense as a Londoner‘s  hug  was,it was better than snuffing it on the floor.
As far as I can pee,there’s nothing but slugs
As bloody as gold,speaking metagogically

As whiff!You pong so!
As luck would grab it I hid it first
As plain as the rose on your lingerie lace
As slender as mother’s apple tart kept me..I was irresistible on the table
As the cow flies,the bull grew wings.That’s logic for you.
as time harasses me,I ask,why?
As useful as a dead baboon
As welcome as a monk at a  wife swapping party
As ye sew, so shall ye weep as I prick ye again
Too many jokes oil my path,so I tumble down again

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A person is not a pet

Some people keep birds as pets.To me it seems so  cruel… a bird should fly.I suppose making any animal a pet may be wrong but some want to be.Dogs and cats no doubt were better off living near humans… so they moved closer.And the Egyptians worshipped cats .Some people treat their spouse  like  a pet.But it’s a bad idea.People may enjoy it at first but no-one can be the propertyof someone else however benevolent.Control is not loving even if you shower them with gifts,caresses and kisses.We need to belong but also to be free….to a reasonable extent….I know some people get sexually aroused by games of dominance and submission but it’s not good to be like that all time,in my view.I know books like Fifty shades of grey sell.But why do we need others fantasies?Why not use our own minds?

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Why I love mice

Mice,don’t you love them?They live in your garden shed and eat the twine for the beanpoles you were saving for next summer.They finish up the crumbs the birds left behind.They don’t want you to take them for a walk and,hey, they need no grooming.;… they provide free exercise for your cat and emergency rations when you forget to buy catfood.Women are supposed to fear mice as they may run up  our legs and disappear.Still,it’s a kind of compliment,in a strange way.They provide that little touch of excitement we all need now and then.Mice,not in my bed though..The cat. might eat them and disturb my slumbers.Then I’d be over-tired

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