Evoked  death sentences  while still unborn

Oh,mother was it my fault I was born?
You conceived me in a country waging war
So once for sure you did not sleep alone

I was too thin, the doctor was alarmed
My sin of prematurity was scored
Oh,mother was it my fault I was born?

Thank you for your milk, your breast, my home
In sadness wish you’d loved me or adored
Dad  once said  you did not sleep alone

I could not be an infant, was forlorn
While  you weaned me  in my rage I bawled
Oh,mother, why the judgement  of love scorned?

I frightened  you by   reading  minds  and bones
Evoked  death sentences  while still unborn
I’m glad you did not  always sleep alone

Why keep knocking  on the oven door?
Sylvia Plath  used gas ,that Nazi porn
Oh,mother  reason  can’t  prove I was born
But you helped  the human race   and kept some warm

 

 

 

Wreaths of smoke

Daddy where were you  when I was sad
I bought you Woodbines in the corner shop
I carried your boiled egg with salt on plate
You lay in bed   adorned with wreaths of smoke

Uncle Herbert  died when I was five
Not  many   of Dad’s brothers left alive
But Bert was old and all his children grown
He lay inert, the coffin dark, the stone

I saw yours and Grandad’s too, false oak
The  Cemetery   filled  with  men and broken     jokes
So baffled  by affection we  would seek
And for her mother’s  grave, we  often looked

We  too will be broken, wordless earth
Worms will do their work. the lungs, the breath

Oh,summer comes to to please

The year will rise as sap does in the trees
Bringing life back,giving us new heart
As Bees wll hover, humming  on the breeze

In February frost, the sap may freeze
But soon the higher sun makes life restart
The year will rise as sap breaks gravity

But in hypnotic worlds who should believe
The utterance of the leaders, graphs and charts?
Still Bees will hover, humming under trees

By summer we hope viruses will leave
And leaders false should quickly  be pushed out
The year will rise as sap does in the trees

Let us hope no Fascists  more deceive
Do we believe the voters are not smart?
Though Bees shall hover, humming mysteries

In the sky we see the swallows dart
Possessions tie us down, our souls cry  out
Oh, year rise now as sap does in the trees
As Bees will hover, humming symphonies

Wet diamonds 

15977118_846858878787325_6294777997997974550_n
Beware the delivery pass they sell
For I ,so foolish, for one fell
It says I can order every day
But  guess what folks, they make me pay
I  tried to do one this weekend
But in 6 days I have sinned
I bought 2 loaves just for the ghosts
Foetuses, and  heavenly hosts
Though  my babies never grew
I have  shawls both pink and blue
O mother, mother, come here now
I need your arm ,these thoughts hurt me
My  linen closets ready yet
I know my babies can’t come back
Now I’m old,I’d like to see
Their eyes  so gentle smile their plea
Tantrums, shrieks and other noise
I would welcome any voice
And one might look like my dear love
Why did God take them above? 
Mysterious are his ends and days
How can humans  know his ways?
The Lord may give, the Lord  may take
Blessed be his wounded Face
For God himself does suffer too
His eyes wet diamonds ,  polished dew

Few resist 

Why would wealthy Europe world wars fight
While Popes in cloth  of gold  writhed  as they sinned?
Few resist  the diamonds for the Light

Ambivalent love   split,  what sight  could  be found
When we spend too much time with our own kin
Missed experience shapes our eyes and minds

Those who cannot see, the wholly blind
Feel their deep emotion and may win
Love was offered  then returned as  Strikes

Yet in cultured Europe God has  died
We waged war with ardour, this was sin
Desire  overwhelms our eyes , oh  god, oh plight

Fell three Empires,states unplanned designed
Christians fought each other with new guns
So love was   never offered, simply feigned

In the eyes of infants light is dim
Wars are  made by  pschopaths at whim
Why would    proud, glad  Europe world wars fight?
Few resist   tempation , black the Light

For men may come and men may go,

white brown cow
Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com

 

 

Dr Smith that  lucky man.
Had a wife called Mary Anne.
He gave her children twenty two.
How ever did this woman do?

She had many helping hands
To take her children on the sands.
They swam in batches in the sea.
And then she took them home for tea.

She had triplets,she had twins.
She even had one set of quins.
So loneliness was quite unknown.
And all were trained to use the phone.

She was a very sturdy wife.
She worked  very hard at life.
But once a week she went to town
And looked at bags and evening gowns.

But Dr Smith did not go out.
He was dusting , have no doubt.
At night they went to bed and loved
Just like a pair of turtle doves.

In the morning she rose up
And made some tea in a big cup.
She had a tiny chunk of time.
For such a one,this is no crime.

We all need a peaceful break,
To sit by our own inner lake.
To see the fish and watch the sun
As gold and glowing up it comes.

So if you have many children too,
Take heart from this small tale.
She took her time to meditate…
And her heart never failed.

For men may come and men may go,
and likewise children too.
You need to have some free “me time.”
Whatever else you do.

After the pips

  • Sorry,I am unable to answer the phone.
    My voice is on strike.
    I have been muted
    My eyes are too wet
    My husband has to keep his eye on the clock today.
    My sister’s glued to the television.
    And my other sister’s off the map
    While my brothers have been at Loggerheads for some time.

    My daughter has to keep a weather eye on her fiancee,
    And my granddaughter has been entranced by “The Magic Flute.”
    The cat is having kittens.
    So am I
    The dog is chasing his tail. and barking like a wolf
    I’ve got my finger on the nuclear button
    And my hand in the expenses

    My feet have gone to sleep.
    I forgot how to walk and  talk
    My head is coming unscrewed,
    And my mind is on higher things.
    My husand kept whisky there
    So my brain is is under investigation
    And I hope to be reunited with it soon
    But they can’t be absolutely certain it will reconnect.

    My spirits have been in the doldrums
    But I have some whisky in the cupboard.
    My career spanned the heights and the depths,
    Though not of love
    as God would recognize it,
    In a very real sense.
    You must rest assured I care about you
    Though I do not feel able to converse.
    Now there’s just a few minutes before I go for broke again
    Please leave a message after the pips.

Never write a letter full of spite

The consumer age is passing   with the dead
I tried to shop  again but Sainsburys have said
You can’t shop twice a week or twice a day
We will have to learn once more to play

Learn another language,read good books
Help another,  teach them how to cook
Go outside and  breathe the   purer air
Write a poem and then write one with flair

Walk around the street when it is clear
Drink from cans  filled up with   freezing beer
Take a photo of a tree you   like
Never write a letter full of spite

Surely we can gradually adapt
If we survive the madness and the traps

Men will love you more

woman in black and white striped short sleeve shirt and blue denim jeans
Photo by Olenka Sergienko on Pexels.com

Oh,woman  it is not your   long gold hair
That draws the man  into  your welcome lair
It is your independence and your mind
Your morals and your dignity so fine

Never worry if your looks are plain
Do not suffer anguish,mental pain
For if you know the ten commandments well
You know men cannot  worship you  and tell

If your hair is thin and full of grease
Men will come to you on bended knees
For they fear too much beauty  will engross
Illusion binds the heart  and mind once foes

Do  not be so anxious to be fair
Men will love you more the less you wear

Shame is bitter, wrecks our feeling heart

I see  down in  the  valley of the Lea
Tower blocks  and numerous tiny homes
Here the Vikings came, oh, savagery
The valley is so ugly it alarms

As I look at  my books, it’s unfair
I feel sad for children who have none 
Our average reading age  grows lower  every year
I   feel angry at our leaders nothing  done

During Lockdown where shall  children play?
Those who have no gardens  shut indoors
The  end point of  such suffering is dismay
Humiliation grows   right in a  heart’s deep core

Shame is bitter, wrecks our feeling heart
A home for Satan made with   thoughtless art

We learn to see in part

 

The sun has gone and jaundiced is the sky
The silence  of the empty roads is good
For from my garden birds are  flying high
In this  precious green   we grew a wood

No holiday in Venice or Dubai
Lockdown  keeps us in   what do we sigh
 I want to  see  the   village of old Cley
The still small voice  shall speak before we die

No more  shall  rich  possesions make us high
Nor shall buying cream and caviare
We are judged by God’s incisive  eye
Stand up,  live,  despite that  all’s awry

The Sacred World  behind our little one
We learn to see in part though we are dumb

Vulgar is the night

I need all these toilet rolls in case I have a nosebleed,officer
Try using tampax instead
Suppose they get stuck?
Go to A and E
I might get Covid 19
Who is he?

I saw everyone was buying Andrex  in large packs.So I thought Boris Johnson had died

I need all these toilet rolls to  make Xmas crackers from the tubes,my Lord

I  thought they might sell out so I bought 200 more.Is that a crime?

I suffer from a weak bladder, so I need to keep drying myself,officer
Wear a  pad
What, an iPad?
Well,  don’t  use a kindle  Fire
Why not?
You might get burned
Can I put suncream on my female organ?
As long as you don’t play  the organ  for a few hours
I thought, this  is why we can’t sunbathe in the park
But we can sunbathe at home if we take the roof off the house
How mad is that?

From the back

 

photo of woman sitting on ground
Photo by Migs Reyes on Pexels.com

 

From a women’s magaine: my eyes are on stalks

Darker colors, in general, tend to be more slimming. But be sure to look at yourself from all angles, including from the back. This is important if you tend to carry your weight on your backside, hips, or thigh

I wish you had a bookcase in your head

I wish I were in Venice in a boat
My lover has just tried to kiss my goat

Why is love so pure a threat to men?
Tender feelings flow, I’m home again

Should I eat a pancake for my tea
I’ll text you  when the boat is out at sea

I want a  man who smells like apple pie
Oh,Lord send  one  here quickly  or I’ll die

I did  once see someone turn the other cheek
But  now he has arthritis so he weeps

I wonder is it legal to keep sheep?
I’d like a small one  near me as I sleep

Some get married, some still  live  in sin
I  want a man  who loves a wheelie bin

I cut the hedge with clippers, next my hair
Difficult as I have little  there

I once taught Econometrics blind
The students passed,  and then I lost my mind

I prefer topology  to food
After that I might say something lewd

Did you ever  laugh when fast asleep?
My husband was so merry so oblique

Sugar in the tea

I’ve got no more rotten eggs
Well, is that not good?
I resent throwing fresh ones at politicians
Why not threw that cat’s litter?
Kittens!
Well, it is a tom cat
He probably has hundreds of children
That reminds me of Boris Johnson
I know he is partly Turkish
What’s that got to do with having children?
I was just passing a remark
His grandad was the son of an immigrant
I say, we should ban them
That’s extreme
What do you suggest?
We’ll only have Muslims and Jews
That is ridiculous
Why?
They also have lots of children
Let’s go back to eggs.
Do you want devilled eggs for your tea?
Where I come from we just put sugar in our tea.
How original!
We couldn’t afford real food unless the cat caught a hen
Then you hate foxhunters
Well, they don’t eat the foxes… it’s pure barbarity
Still, not as bad as  the Holocaust and who tried to stop that?
I wasn’t born then 
But you  look like a Valkrie
Except I am not a maiden and is it my fault I jad golden hair?
Why  not  a maiden?
I  got married 5 times.
Well, I admire your hope but not your experiences
Three were men and the last two were women
Next you will be  marrying that cat
I hope I don’t have kittens!
Well, better than nothing
I am not sure about that
Never say never, again
What,never?
Miaow

Black humour

Make my heart into a cottage pie.
Already it is minced and lies estranged
My   enemies insult me with their lies
And my last will and testament is made.

An onion and a carrot chopped up fine,
Saute  with these my heart till  all are gold
With herbs and spices I will taste divine
A mashed potato will a rooftop mould.

Do not forget my blood to use as sauce
Though now it’s cold, with garlic  make it boil.
For what is gravy but the blood of lamb?
With  sliced  onion  fried in olive oil.

O foes and devils eat me and you’ll be
Transformed into  to myself,your enemy

T

Digital art when you are limited by caring for others

This is an old photo which I  had fun with  using a simple photo editor
It is not necessary to forgo pleasure when you are a carer.Half an hour now and then is better than watching crap on  your TV
Pardon my language but I find  lately TV has sunk down

I  wandered into Digital Art via Microsoft Paint.I could not find any books about it except when you wanted to create an image that looked like watercolour or oil paintings
Well, the tools for that are expensive and to my mind pointless.I prefer to use real water colour.
But  since you don’t have to put your paints and water, brushes and other media out it takes no time to open Microsoft online,Pixlr or to download Artweaver onto Windows
At first I did weird little drawings but I was  kindly encouraged by Janet Weight Reedand some others on a blog site which alas closed down
Then  when I got more intrigued I began to draw cats and apples
You can change the colours to see what you prefer.Dark backgrounds look good more often
As I did this for fun,I was not concerned about whether they were good.
I did learn that space is important in Art and I like to draw two or three objects close to each other as in still lives
If my husband  needed me I could just close the  laptop for a while.I love colour and the geometry of form
I was told at school I was no good at Art.But now I don’t mind whaat people say because it was a great help to  me to take my mind away from the suffering we both endured and the  lack of care that we  should have been offered.Apparently it is considered impossible for a person to look after a loved one when they are so ill .And I  had had surgery just before he collapsed so had 12 stitches in my face.That did distress  him as I bleed more than most people.Now they say I am lucky to be alive.I am very grateful also for  having readers here and having ‘Mike Flemming’s s beautiful photos

Cats praying

Where our attention lies

I had a fissure  on my worn old thumb
The pain  was so severe my eyes both ran
I felt self pity, why is life so  cruel?
All day I  had grieved  like some old fool

Then I saw some  lights flash in my eye
Soon the sight  had  gone, I  quite blind
My eye,  its lids, its lashes full of blood
I had to  lie  face down upon my bed

Three months  passed then I had vision twice
The eyes  confused,  my mind seemed full of spite
Their experimental surgery  may help
Another person  back to normal health

The eye  stitched up, I thought about my thumb
Without perspective   we are quite undone

 

 

 

 

Keep on swimming

Constant rumination kills the soul
I never  think  and so I am more whole
I  write the sentence  down, just like I  speak
I find my native tongue lets symbols leak

My mind is  like a small holed metal sieve
I hope I shall be kind and will forgive
What remains is worthy of a place
As for my mistakes, I   beg your  grace

Some minds are  deep,clear streams their thoughts  like fish
Other minds are  tortured ,spin and crash
Keep on swimming like the drowning frog
He turned the milk to butter as he trod

Do not linger long on cruel thoughts
Scruples come from Satan, he’s worth naught

The grit and then the pearls

When G-d came down , the rivers overflowed
Great trees were floating ,angled and exposed
The houses broke up like a loaf to crumbs
The hearts of humans  trembled  till they hummed

The winds deceived, the gusts unmeasured stung
The churchbells shuddered then untimely rang
The power was cut and all our screens were dark
Where were the rulers, where the saving Ark?

The women  giving birth were paralysed
The babies in the womb took ill and died
Their cradles rocked the world,  they swung so fast
And in a moment all of life had passed

In the void, G-d started  his new  world
Rich and strange,  the grit and then the  pearls

A rondel

I feel you presence and I almost see
The face  that was  so loving .sadly gone
There may be millions but you were my own
The anguish and the joy were all for me
As we walked the white sands by the sea
Picking sea shells, seeing washed white bones
I feel you presence and I almost see
The face  that was familiar,strangely gone
We had a home, we had a nutmeg tree
We grew apples,rosy in the sun
Flavour  vanished  like the honeycomb
Yet salty flavours linger in the sea
I feel you presence but I  cannot see
The face  that was  so loving,  known by none

 

Weekly mail

Dear Dr Jones

Thank you for refering this delightful 98 year old lady to me
I have looked into her mouth and there is indeed a tumour
She denies  any bleeding.
She denies any ulceration
She admits  getting so anxious she ground her teeth  and broke them
She denies suffering any  pain
She refuses to take codeine linctus  and sell it  on the street
My verdict:
Guilty and almost sane
Sentenced to two scans and a follow up.Meanwhile I will keep her under surveillance and tell you where she goes at night.
Yours,Dr Gnostic.
BDS  B CH. MA.PhD BA etc

Bribes accepted weekly

If you are the doctor,I am dead

photo of chicken on grass
Photo by Catherine Sheila on Pexels.com

 

Sorry I can’t take your call at the moment.I have to lay an egg
This is the answerphone.Who are you?
I don’t have six handsets linked to me,But you can leave a short message
There’s noone here now.We have gone to inject bleach into our veins.May see you later
We are trying Dettol in our lungs today.Please try us again tomorrow if you are sadistic enought
Sorry, they didn’t  leave the answering machine on.This is a robot.
We can’t afford an answering machine so  I  trying to make one out of tins and string.If you manage to leave a message we will make pots of money
If you are the doctor,I am dead
Please stop trying to sell me  heroin.I have decided to make my own.From oats
Is that the baker? Please hide the loaf  behind the bicyle if the dog allows you.
Hi I am the dog.They have  left me alone.Why don’t you come over and steal their TV?
Sorry, my daughter  has got chicken pox and the   cock is angry.Call back  next week after we’ve eaten him
Are you the new domestic help?The key is in the door.Please  lock up and put it through the letterbox after you are done
I can’t swear at you but I will call you an idiot if  you like.Free!
I’ll  take the cat when we divorce.Stop calling me.I am speechless but not mute

An owl at prayer

barn owl perched on tree
Photo by DSD on Pexels.com

His beauty moved me like owl at prayer
 I’d  better  share my   love of  birds on here

He touched me like a marble  falls down drains
Thank God we then had lots of  heavy  rain

He told me  he was angered by  my  face
I drowned on his tweed jacket spiced with mace

I read so fast the teachers were amazed
My secret was adrenalin and  haste

I  never loved my  neighbour as myself
For I was deep in love with someone else

We  think we long for love  but  as I say
Intimacy rots  if we can’t play

The unseen Face

Iimg_20200303_194959687-1 lost myself in Buttermere one night
The lake so pure ,the waterfalls so bright
When I emerged,I  felt my soul renew
I  lost myself in love when I met you

We walked from Keswick in a heavy storm
The elemental gales, the tempest   honed
Then the sun burst out  like golden dew
Melting in the sky  to  different hues

After   further gales  washed   human hearts
The still small voice  had whispered,Love’s not bought
The rain a symbol, holy water grace
We need a symbol of the  unseen Face

Happy to be drowned in  Nature’s   tears
Love   lives with   our panic  and  deep fear

1 Kings 19:11-13 King James Version (KJV)

11 And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake:

12 And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.

13 And it was so, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle, and went out, and stood in the entering in of the cave. And, behold, there came a voice unto him, and said, What doest thou here, Elijah?

King James Version (KJV)

 

 

The happiness lab

Cercidophyllum-japonicum-pendulum_20-3

“It’s well known that living through hard circumstances can make us happier because it teaches each of us to be grateful for so many things in life,” Santos says. In academic studies, gratitude, she says, consistently comes top of the list of what makes humans truly happy.

One of the misconceptions about happiness is that it comes down to our circumstances, she says. “In fact, the data suggests that with a little time and the right practices [as long as we have a roof over our head and our basic needs met], we can thrive in whatever situation we are in.” Furthermore, she says — give a sigh of relief — those happiness-making practices don’t necessarily involve baking bread, crafting the Acropolis out of toilet rolls or shouting at a screenful of friends.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/weekend/yale-professor-laurie-santos-happiness-lab-podcast-on-how-to-be-happy-now-6p5q5p0vs

What we do depends on what we see.

What we do depends on what we see.
By writing, I can change my own fixed view
Gain perspective, focus less on me

And to others, make an simple  plea
We can look again and see anew
What we do depends on what we see.

How the world is, how it ought to be
In my writing, I make my own review
Gain perspective, focus less on me.

Replace the  “ought” by “possibility.”
A little change beats crying, feeling blue
What we do depends on what we see.

If God exists, will she with me agree?
No doubt she’d have a wider, higher view
And share perception with someone like you

Would our world be shared by love, virtue.
A willingness to wish ,desire the true
What we do depends on what we see.
Perspective, focus, possibility