When will we be cummin’ ‘ome at last?

When wi wer cummin’ ‘ome at last
From het Somme and from et Trojan Wars
The ghosts of owa dead menfolk shuffled past

Making sense u’ livin’ is owa task
When th’ heart and soul are sad and sore
When wi eh cummin’ ‘ome at last

The rush an’ rasp of textures breaks et fast
We want to live ; we want to fight no more
The ghosts of owa dead neighbours staggered past

When wi all went mad ,wi acted daft
Wi felt dissected by yon eyes that saw
When wi were cummin’ ‘ome at last

Some we’ weeping ,others sat and laffed
Wi saw owa cat and touched her little paws
The ghosts of owa dead mammies staggered past

Do not kill that good that love adores
Do not dance with evil as ye source
When will we be cummin’ ‘ome at last?
The ghosts of owar own futures shuffle past

Who is never envious?

I enjoy drawing

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/07/learning/what-role-does-envy-play-in-your-life.html

But is there anything to be learned from envy? If Socrates was right and the unexamined life is not worth living, then surely we should examine our feelings to find what we really care about as opposed to what we would like to think we care about. And what better instrument for this kind of self-examination than envy, a feeling as honest as a punch.

For instance, I often find a reason to become angry with people

We beg you not to leave but you must go

Do not leave us for your lonely grave

Do not leave us here when you are gone

Do not leave my heart in blood to bathe

We need your kindness your work is not done

Do not leave a sister all alone

Do not leave a brother empty sad.

You who share my skin and share my bones

Come back come back live not with the Dead

Here’s your daughter with her newborn babe

Here’s your eldest son oh mother mine

Live again live again oh stay

Do not leave us yet without a sign

The tears run down our faces but too late.

The human world’s not ours to navigate

The examination results

I got a in my art exam

I see

And I got F in the physics exam

But physics does not begin with F.What did you get for algebra?

I think it was x. The unknown quantity

How extraordinary. Was there equation that you can solve?

It was non-linear.

How can they expect children at school to study non-linear equations?

I think they were handing out

Teach yourself everything in algebra in one hour a week .

And how long do you do that for?

X of course.

I wonder who will be the next education minister.

Did they not tell you?

Boris Johnson

Well I will be damned

No you won’t. Hell is full

But what about Donald Trump?

He might make his ownm

Winter

I did not know Death was near again

It’s not the death itself, we fear the pain,

We fear the lonely empty space you leave

I don’t know if you want to be deceived

We all know that one day we must depart

From our little castle in the heart

But we if have the energy to live

To thoughts of death no hearing do we give

When the winter comes the sun is low

Little creatures hibernate .,go slow

Without a human mind are creature sad?

Without our weary thoughts we might be glad

Irrational

Irrational numbers move about the paper when you’re not looking.

2 / 3 turns into to 3/2.

It plays hell with recipes for cakes.

Any number can become irrational especially in hot weather

The solution is never bake on a hot day. Ir6 to make cakes using cup measurements instead of weighing and measuring.

Bills are irrational when they exceed the limit on your credit card and/or your bank balance

God is irrational because he made right angles triangles with two of the sides of length 1 unit forcing he hypotenuse to be √ 2

And √ 2 is not a rational number. It cannot wait expressed as a ratio of two whole numbers.

But why?

Grief’s 7 Stages Don’t Include Envy and Resentment

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/01/style/the-seven-stages-of-grief.html

Reading the letters we receive, I’m always struck by how much, and how quickly, people convert their pain into self-loathing. My first thought when I read your letter, Heartless, was: Oh my god — you’re in pain. Your grieving isn’t over. The public ways in which your fiancé’s mom is grieving have reawakened the more private sense of shock and paralysis you felt when your father died. Your instinctive contempt for her displays of sorrow, and how she’s been able to elicit comfort, raises questions about whether you received what you needed 10 years ago, when you were so young and less equipped to ask for support, or even understand how to grieve.

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Disenfranchised Grief: 22 Examples, Signs, and Tips

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/disenfranchised-grief

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Disenfranchised Grief: When No One Seems to Understand Your Loss
Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD — By Crystal Raypole on March 30, 2020
Examples
Symptoms
Coping
Finding support
Takeaway
When we lose something we love, we mourn. That’s part of our nature.

But what if guilt tinges the edges of your grief? Maybe that little voice inside whispers you shouldn’t grieve the loss of your job when you and your family still enjoy good health.

Maybe you wonder if you’re “too sad” over the loss of your pet, perhaps when someone offhandedly says, “It’s not as if you lost a child.”

No matter what type of loss you’ve experienced, your grief is valid.

Still, society often fails to acknowledge some types of grief, making it challenging to express your sadness or begin to navigate the healing process.

Disenfranchised grief, also known as hidden grief or sorrow, refers to any grief that goes unacknowledged or unvalidated by social norms. This kind of grief is often minimized or not understood by others, which makes it particularly hard to process and work through.

Here’s a primer on how disenfranchised grief shows up and some tips for processing a difficult loss.

What it might look like
Disenfranchised grief tends to show up in five main ways (though it’s not necessarily limited to these examples).

Unrecognized relationships
If you felt a need to keep your relationship private for any reason, you may not know how to express your sorrow when your partner dies. People may also struggle to understand when you mourn someone you never knew.

This might include:

LGBTQ+ people who aren’t out and feel unsafe grieving the loss of a partner
polyamorous people who lose a non-primary partner, particularly when no one knew about their involvement
the death of a casual partner, friend with benefits, or ex-partner, especially when you remained close
the death of an online friend or pen pal
the death of someone you never knew, like an unknown sibling or absent parent
Loss that’s considered ‘less significant’
Many people don’t see breakups or estrangement as significant loss, though you can lose someone permanently even if they’re still alive. This type of loss can still cause deep, lasting distress.

Some types of non-death loss include:

adoption that doesn’t go through
dementia or Alzheimer’s disease
loss of possessions
loss of your home country
loss of safety, independence, or years of your life to abuse or neglect
loss of mobility or health
Society also tends to minimize grief associated with certain losses, such as the death of:

a mentor, teacher, or student
a patient or therapy client
a pet
a co-worker
an “honorary relative,” like a friend’s child
Loss surrounded by stigma
If the circumstances of your loss lead others to judge or criticize you, you might get the message that you’re supposed to grieve alone.

Unfortunately, some losses draw more stigma than compassion. The reactions of others might make you feel ashamed or embarrassed instead of comforted.

Some people who want to offer sympathy and support may not know how to respond to grief related to something not often discussed, such as:

infertility
death by suicide or overdose
abortion
miscarried or stillborn child
estrangement with a loved one experiencing addiction, loss of cognitive function, or

Queen’s and crosses

Now that the body of Queen Elizabeth II is being driven from Balmoral to London keep reminding off Queen Eleanor

The greatly loved wife of King Edward the First and the mother of the first Prince of Wales.

Queen Eleanor died near Lincoln on a journey to the north to meet her husband King Edward. Her body was brought to London this was in 1290 a d so it took a long time and in each place where the Queen’s body was kept overnight a cross was erected and there is one outside London in Waltham Cross sometimes referred to as the Eleanor cross and the last one is at Charing Cross in the middle of central London.

Saying Queen Elizabeth coffin being carried away from Balmoral reminded me of this but I don’t think her journey will take as long as that of Queen Eleanor.

Crosses must have been erected by King Edward the First 7 time after his wife had died but there’s no mention of anything like that occurring now.

Attachment and your parents and your children

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/07/opinion/sunday/yes-its-your-parents-fault.html

It’s not so great if you are one of the 40 percent to 50 percent of babies who, a meta-analysis of research indicates, are insecurely attached because their early experiences were suboptimal (their caregivers were distracted, overbearing, dismissive, unreliable, absent or perhaps threatening). “Then you have to earn your security,” Dr. Steele said, by later forming secure attachments that help you override your flawed internal working model.

Given that the divorce rate is also 40 percent to 50 percent, it would seem that this is not an easy task. Indeed, researchers said, people who have insecure attachment models tend to be drawn to those who fit their expectations, even if they are treated badly. They may subconsciously act in ways that elicit insensitive, unreliable or abusive behavior, whatever is most familiar. Or they may flee secure attachments because they feel unfamiliar.

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“Our attachment system preferentially sees things according to what has happened in the past,” said Dr. Amir Levine, a psychiatrist at Columbia University and the co-author of the book “Attached,” which explores how attachment behaviors affect the neurochemistry of the brain. “It’s kind of like searching in Google where it fills in based on what you searched before.”

But again, history is not necessarily destiny. Intervention programs at the New School and the University of Delaware are having marked success helping at-risk groups like teenage mothers change their attachment behaviors (often passed down through generations) and establish more secure relationships. Another attachment-based intervention strategy called Circle of Security, which has 19,000 trained facilitators in 20 countries, has also proved effective.

What these protocols have in common is promoting participants’ awareness of their attachment style, and their related sabotaging behaviors, as well as training on how to balance vulnerability and autonomy in relationships.

One reason attachment theory has “gained so much traction lately is its ideas and observations are so resonant with our daily lives,” said Kenneth Levy, an associate professor of psychology at Pennsylvania State University who researches attachment-oriented psychotherapy.

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Indeed, if you look at the classic categories of attachment styles — secure; insecure anxious; insecure avoidant; and insecure disorganized — it’s pretty easy to figure out which one applies to you and others in your life. The categories stem from tens of thousands of observations of babies and toddlers whose caregivers leave them briefly, either alone or with a stranger, and then return, a test known as the “strange situation.” The labels can also apply to how adults behave toward loved ones in times of stress.

Secure children get upset when their caregivers leave, and run toward them with outstretched arms when they return. They fold into the caregiver and are quickly soothed. A securely attached adult similarly goes to a loved one for comfort and support when they, say, are passed over for a promotion at work or feel vulnerable or hurt. They are also eager to reciprocate when the tables are turned.

Children high on the insecure anxious end of the spectrum get upset when caregivers leave and may go to them when they return. But these children aren’t easily soothed, usually because the caregiver has proved to be an unreliable source of comfort in the past. They may kick and arch their back as if they are angry. As adults, they tend to obsess about their relationships and may be overly dramatic in order to get attention. They may hound romantic interests instead of taking it slow.

Insecure avoidant children don’t register distress when their caregivers leave (although their stress hormones and heart rate may be sky high) and they don’t show much interest when caregivers return, because they are used to being ignored or rebuffed. Alternatively, a parent may have smothered them with too much attention. Insecure avoidant adults tend to have trouble with intimacy and are more likely to leave relationships, particularly if they are going well. They may not return calls and resist talking about their feelings.

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Finally, insecure disorganized children and adults display both anxious and avoidant behaviors in an illogical and erratic manner. This behavior is usually the lingering result of situations where a childhood caregiver was threatening or abusive.

Tools to determine your dominant attachment style include the Adult Attachment Interview, which is meant to be administered by a clinician, or self-report questionnaires like the Attachment Styles and Close Relationships Survey. But critics said their accuracy depends on the skill and training of the interviewer in the case of the former and the self-awareness of the test taker in the latter, which perhaps explains why you can take both tests and end up in different categories.

“It can also be possible that people should be viewed as along a continuum in all categories,” said Glenn I. Roisman, the director of the Relationships Research Lab at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis.

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It’s worth noting that just as people in the insecure categories can become more secure when they form close relationships with secure people, secure people can become less so if paired with people who are insecure. “You need social context to sustain your sense of security,” said Peter Fonagy, a professor of psychoanalysis at University College London.

He added that having secure attachments is not about being a perfect parent or partner but about maintaining communication to repair the inevitable rifts that occur. In the daily battering of any relationship, Dr. Fonagy said, “if free flow of communication is impaired, the relationship is, too.”

Kate Murphy is a journalist in Houston who writes frequently for The New York Times.

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Mortality

We shall meet again some funny day. Bu

Do you want to get married in the cemetery this time.

Is it legal for the dead to get married? No, I just want to be repainted.

A funeral service usually contains sins What are your personal favourites?

I think I’d like them to play the lark descending.

So would you like an orchestra?

I shall not be able to see when I’m laughing.

I didn’t know it was laughing that would make you go blind

When you are dead you don’t mind being blind. But I would hate not being able to talk

Are you really having a conversation when you are by yourself?

? Two minds with a single heart

Let me be your end

Don’t say you bait me already
Let me be your  end
I want to blow Rome
Yes,I am very prized
Is  that flea yours?
I think we should get a bed
What colour is your  behind?
I hope she likes my revolver
She’s a rhinocerus  at the hospital with a camera
The doctor promised to visit your grave.
I’ll take your ashes to the Surgery  on Ash Wednesday although he is a Hindu
Don’t  say you are off colour altogether
I say,you look  really vague today
Don’t ask  me for six every night
But I’m so hot I need an ice tube
Don’t keep hawking  about texts

A Grief So Deep It Won’t Die – The New York Times

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/18/health/complicated-grief-so-deep-it-wont-die.html

Katherine copyright

Complicated or prolonged grief can assail anyone, but it is a particular problem for older adults, because they suffer so many losses — spouses, parents, siblings, friends. “It comes with bereavement,” said Dr. Katherine Shear, the psychiatrist who led the Columbia University study. “And the prevalence of important losses is so much greater in people over 65.”

In a review in The New England Journal of Medicine earlier this year, Dr. Shear listed several symptoms characteristic of complicated grief: intense longing or yearning, preoccupying thoughts and memories and an inability to accept the loss and to imagine a future without the person who died.

You look so pale

When you came to see me you looked pale

Your skin was almost yellow I perceived

Your heart was kind and it has never failed.

Your face betrayed your feelings, that you grieved,

I wish that you had told me how you felt

Comfort does not come to those that hide

You hoped by smoke and mirrors to deflect

But still the pain inside you you had its rights

Turn back if you can you’re near the edge

The cliff is high the face contains few grips

Even if you are light you’ll break the ledge

I always been afraid that you would slip

Appearances of health deceived our eyes

Come back, come back I cannot let you die

God was absent then or in some other place

When he went away
He said,”Lehitraot,mama.”
Do vstrechi.
He died, but I’m still here
Yes,in my heart I feel his love.
But why did I live,
And he did not?
Auf wiedersehen
Lehitraot.
Yes,darling,I’ll see you later
,When the sky turns black and all the stars blaze bright
I’ll see you shining in the night.
I’ll see you in my dreams alas.
Do vstrechi.
But why you and not me too?
Araka
I can’t understand
.Lehitraot,beloved.
A plus tard
Some where in this world,you fell
But no-one,not even God, can tell.
God was absent then or in some other place
He’s gone again
.They said He’s died too
,But He didn’t have a mother like you.
Do vstrechi.
My breasts ache and my heart and soul,
My breasts were made to make you whole.
To feed, give love and to console.
A plus tard
And now they ache with grief as my tears fall
.A bientot
My body trembles in the night
As dreams may bring my lost ones to my sight.
A plus
I’d walk across the roughest bleak terrain
If l I could find my loves and hold your hands again.
Do vstrechi
.The bell rings on the ancient clock
As time goes on as normal,  never stops.
Araka
I wish the hands of time could be reversed,
And I was not living with this curse.
People forget that I once had a son.
They think my grieving has been done.
Araka.But grief and loss and pain will never end
Until the curtain of my death descends
Auf wiedersehen.
Meantime I look at flowers and birds and trees
,But it’s really you my deepening insight sees.
Lehitraot.
The inscape of my heart is shown to few.
An artist of the lost would know this view.
I know I want to see just you.
Do vstrechi.
But for me there is noAuf wiedersehen
Never again will you say
What you said that day
Lehitraot,Mama.Papa
A plus tard
Tot ziens.
See you later
See you ,darling
See you soon

Dealing better with money in order to live as well as you can and be creative

I am not an expert on budgeting but I’m writing this to see what ideas I could come up with when I have to be very careful as someone living on it a pension I have found when costs are rising rapidly for food and gas and electricity not to mention shoes and clothes m

It’s a good idea to remember that if you buy a lot of cheap things this will add up to to a large sum of money.

Telling yourself you don’t need to be anxious about buying things that cost less than £10,if you spent £10 every day on something you don’t need that will come to £300 in a month.

That yimoney might pay for your energy bill

I don’t want to be a killjoy especially as an older person no longer working outside of the home. But if you go out for coffee every day that could cost you £20 a week or £80 a month.

The key issue is that we need to maintain our social life we need to meet people and very often certainly for women that means meeting a friend in a coffee shop. So in my view if you could afford it then you should let yourself spend money on going out for coffee. If used to meet friends in a restaurant frequently then you will have to do some thinking.

Could you meet them for coffee instead?

Could you meet them in some country park and combined exercise with catching up?

Everybody needs one pair of good quality shoes which are waterproof

We need to keep warm and dry in the winter and if your feet are cold you I will not be happy.

Here I feel very sad about people who can’t afford even one pair of decent shoes but you can shop in outlets you can shop in places like TK maxx you can look at the websites of people who make and sell trainers. Often they have special offers that you can obtain by buying directly from them

It’s worth getting wool socks in the winter and you can shop around for those but we’ll feel so much better than with man-made fibres or cotton on the feet in winter

And when you are buying your clothing or even your socks you can get brighter colours and patterns which will cheer you and other people up. And it won’t be any more expensive than buying dull colours

Other people look at us and it’s lovely to see people wearing gorgeous colours not just grey or beige as many older people do

You may want to go to a class during the winter such as creative writing or art

Try not to to be anxious about spending money on this it is very very important to go out and to meet other people and even if you’re not very good at what you’ve chosen it’s still benefits you to do it. So do not eliminate such things from your life if if that’s at all possible

It’s more important to go to an art class than to buy a pair of shoes that you don’t need

If you look in your local newspaper or online you will also find that there are events taking place near you you are not very expensive like concerts by local choirs, plays in your local theatre

Use your money for things like this if you can. There is so much emphasis in the media on appearance but don’t spend all your money on on makeup and clothing etc

I can see nowthat unless you are well off you have to choose between different parts of life because you have to decide where it is a good idea to spend money and where it is not. Unless you are a member of the royal family or a film star your appearance does not matter it’s your expression it’s your face it’s whether you smile whether you have a sense of humour when are you are grateful for what you have and contented with your life, that is what will attract friends to you. Someone who looks like a model might not be as happy as you think when actually people might be intimidated by them.

Don’t be afraid of going to a class and being the worst person there in terms of your ability in that subject. Think about it, nobody’s terribly confident and if you go and what your drawing is not a very good it will comfort other nervous people

May you reach the promised land

5

0

I have loved you and I’ve held you.

Many years,you have been mine;

If the time has come for parting

Let us embrace for one last time.

You must know you have to leave me,

Though you desired a longer stay.

Let me hold you in my arms now

For tonight and one more day.

Then I’ll watch you travel on,love.

We take this last step all alone.

I’ll be here beside you watching.

I shall feel when you are gone.

May you accept, may you surrender.

May you reach the promised land.

Into this earth my tears will fall, love,

As I recall your tender hands

When I saw, with no intent to Luke

I love Picasso, it’s his line,you know
How he evokes the movement fast or slow
The sundered parts arranged in a new form
The image still and yet depicting storms

The unexpecting vision threw me down
My mind was blown and I lay on the ground
I heard no sound except for music lite
For I was in a shop,not an art site

I did not think I’d see great art in there
My fences bypassed by such beauty bare
The light of art burns into human souls
May shatter or fragment, create new wholes

Noone ever knew the blow I took
When I saw with no intent to look

Should I let my cat outside?

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/sep/04/should-i-let-my-cat-outside?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

What are the most important topics of the day in the United Kingdom is “should I let my cat go outside?’

Please release me let me go go

How to Have Closer Friendships (and Why You Need Them)

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/11/20/smarter-living/how-to-have-closer-friendships.html

closeness needs

and attunement,”

Digital art by Katherine

Closeness needs attention and achievement

0 heDr. Johnson said. “When you look at somebody with your full attention, your face muscles start to mirror their facial muscles within milliseconds. If you aren’t giving them your full attention, you can miss it completely.”

This mimicry helps us