https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/life-after-50/202207/living-ambivalence-about-people-you-love

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/10/29/style/modern-love-23andme-family-secret.html

Adults who lost siblings as kids also recall feeling as if their own emotions don’t matter, what the family therapist Pauline Boss calls “ambiguous loss,” or loss without closure. Others have labeled it “hidden grief

“One of the common messages for adolescents whose siblings have died is they have to camouflage their feelings,” said David Balk, a professor at Brooklyn College who has done extensive research

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/12/well/family/siblings-death-brother-sister-fatal-illness-disease.html

Shedding tears there’s nothing much to say

Everybody dies in their own way

While we’re healthy we can bawl and shout

Serious illness makes us feel afraid

Conscious of the messes we have made

Remember birthdays and the bag of cards

When they’ve died it feels so cruel so hard.

We like to think we’ve got a chance for Grace

We cant know the time of death or place

Our house is for sale it looks so small.

The vestibule has gone there is a hall

I can’t believe the other people dwell

In a place that we lived in so well

We had no inside toilet we felt cold

Menstruation bleeding we were bold

So we look at photographs with care

But still we see no toilet anywhere

The one outside has disappeared from view

Whatever do these people have to do?

Excretion is a nuisance for us all

But go on sweetheart let your sad tears fall

For rears are clean and will not do as harm

Uric acid rarely has much charm

In the end as untamed as a child

Aged people scream Oh monsters wild

A selfish as a newborn in distress

They want another mother they confess

The one who has the loudest voice survives

In the end we all will lose our lives

Quieter patients suffer through this noise

They may be too weak to raise their voice

Waiting now to surf the final waves.

Who will be the fastest to the grave?

https://interestingliterature.com/2020/09/wh-auden-lullaby-analysis/

https://poets.org/poem/lullaby-0

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-62769173

https://www.healthline.com/health/peter-pan-syndrome

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.

C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

Suffering and pain

We used to think we were doing God a favour by going to church on Sunday.

As if God were an elderly relative that we felt we had to see but we didn’t enjoy it much

Do you think God gets depressed because we don’t go to church?

That is so funny

Do you think God wants us to build all those cathedrals but never stop having wars?

Did God not mind when the poor were hurt more and more?

99% of the time we are thinking about it ourselves or our family and we don’t really think about other people. Even therapists after spending years trying to break out of complete egocentricity found it was all a mistake.

But in the the right circumstances and in the right attitudes of the heart a crack might openb the shell that protects us from others and their demands and the light might shine In give us a glimpse of eternity which is always here: it is outside time.

The rituals on Sunday morning might give someone a chance to find his crack. But is that was so it will be that person who benefited not God

Even if there is no god, that little crack sharing the way eternity is still there.

Because the real god is far away hiding from the monstrous wars and cruelty of the modern world

https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/denial-in-psychology.htm

E

Denial in Psychology- Are You Using This Defence Mechanism?Last reviewed by Sheri JacobsonJuly 12, 2018Anxiety & stress, Counselling By: Alastair Gilfillan Denial in psychology originates from  psychoanalytic theory and its ideas about ‘defence mechanisms‘. What are defence mechanisms? Defence mechanisms are unconscious forms of self-deception we use to avoid anxiety and emotional pain, or to ensure we are ‘acceptable’ to others. Denial is a very popular defence mechanism. It is when we act as if an event, a thought, or an emotion never happened. We do this even if there is obvious evidence that it did, and often protest the opposite. An example is when we cry all the time but then tell everyone we aren’t sad. Or when we are sick every morning from drinking the night before but say we are not an alcoholic. Denial is connected to other defence mechanisms. These include repression (banning stressful things from our memories) and projection (refusing responsibility for thoughts, feelings and actions by attributing then to someone else). [Is your habit of denial making your life a mess? Really wish someone could help? Visit our sister site harleytherapy.com to book phone and Skype counselling easily and quickly, worldwide.] So if someone I know won’t see the truth, they are in denial? It would be easy here to say denial is about denying ‘the truth’. But ‘truth’ is actually a perspective. If two people, for example, at the same meal, one might say it was amazing, the other that it was terrible. So denial is more about avoiding facts and outcomes. It would be denying that the meal was caloric and might lead to weight gain, or claiming, even against strict doctors orders against its ingredients, that ‘it can’t hurt’.  But aren’t we all in denial? By: Duncan Hull 🐝 As a Western society we practise mass denial. We live our lives as if all is fine when we are taking actions that damage the environment and when other countries are at war. This article, however, focuses on personal denial over societal denial. The different forms of denial in psychology In its purest form of ‘simple denial’ , the process of denial is unconscious. The person using denial really has convinced themselves of the opposite to what the facts say and what everyone else tells them. They have ‘turned a blind eye’, as the saying goes. An example of simple denial would be the partner of an alcoholic who truly

This website and its content is copyright of Harley Therapy Ltd. – © 2006-2022 https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/. All rights reserved.

Oh God Have mercy on this island now.

We don’t know when to curtsey when to bow.

Eternal all the stars will shine at night

I’d rather have my husband and some light.

The requiem mass is beautiful I feel

Apart from these old symbols

What is real?

I don’t like the cemetery or church.

If I drink this whisky I will lurch.

What’s the point of flowers for the dead.

Send us letters they will all be read.

We must look strong are we will offence

It may be true but it don’t make no sense.

If we cry we get no comfort now

We will get no milk from any cow.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/13/parenting/sibling-rivalry-fights-kids.html

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/what-is-the-oxford-comma-and-why-do-people-care-so-much-about-it/

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/7644706-if-god-is-love-he-is-by-definition-something-more

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/09/ancient-greek-philosophy-seneca-modern-problems/671433/

https://thenegativepsychologist.com/the-pattern-which-is-me/

Aa I want someone to hold me me hold me tight

I want someone to hold me in the long hours of the night

The shelter of your presence the shelter of your arms

Hold me hold me darling give me peace and calm

I feel like I’m a baby thrown cruely from my nest

Or I’m a little suckling torn cruelly from the breast

Don’t leave me here without you for I don’t want to stay.

My legs have turned to jelly my heart beats in dismay.

The first loss is the mother and her sheltering gaze

We must turn and walk alone though our hearts are flayed

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/14/well/family/empty-nest-pandemic.html

All joking aside, Ms. Woodard said that working-class parents may feel a child’s absence even more acutely. “Their house or apartment is smaller, so the kid’s presence is missed more,” she said. “Also, working-class parents probably raised that kid on their own.”

Regardless of the factors when a household is decanted of its young people, it’s clear that kids who leave their home need a lot of room to grow in, and that parents need to hone their listening skills.

Once, when Ms. Coburn asked a Washington

Many years ago my father used to sing to my baby sister. Sadly i she has no memory of him at all

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/29/world/europe/kouchner-duhamel-incest.html

I see the shape of Pendle Hill ahead.

To this eerie hillside I’ve been

led

Hear they burned the witches in their rage

How far is hell from this this forsaken place?

Yet its shape still stirs me, it’s my home.

I might be a witch on here to roam

The River Ribble is a mighty flood

Flowing down the Pennines as one would

But if there were no gravity we’d see

Rivers running up into the trees.

The oceans would dry up or flood the land

Science is so hard to understand

So let’s just play some music on this Hill

Let’s dance and sing for if you won’t hat I will

No-one ever told me grief was fear
Or did they speak but I refused to hear?
Like cancer, blindness,  suicide and hate
The words  describe the folk of foreign states.

Vigilant and wary as we weep
We feel the loss of God and then our sleep
The world  no longer has a solid  floor
The foot is hesitant, the head is more.

The rudeness of  old friends can hurt like knives
They rush to tell you, you are no-one’s wife.
Though we know we  must meet God alone
The status of our soul is overthrown.

And yet we  see new visions and new ways
Lying with the worms,as beetles gaze

Too happy too sad,we fall down

No more an actor or clown.

Be moderate in lust

The world is not just

If you climbed up too high then get down

I cannot live without your love so dear.

I stretch my arm but you are nowhere near

My hand finds only emptiness at night.

I am afraid till I switch on the light

Once I saw you lying by my side

I forgot just then that you’d already died.

The knives are sharpened they will cut my heart

I can live without it and my charts

I am going nowhere I am stuck

Is this fate or is it just bad luck?

United Kingdom means that England fought wars against Scotland and Ireland and Wales

Instead of making these countries independent they were linked together into one country. The United Kingdom that is why King Charles has visited the three other countries since he became king.

Given the history in food in the 20th century it’s not surprising that there is a lot of animosity towards. the English