Saturday was shopping then a walk Epping,Ongar,Finchingfield by car Reading book reviews and chewing stalks Buttercups and meadows,Henry Moore
Driving back from Chelmsford, cornfields flamed Smoke and fire and earth, the sun dismayed Farmers working hard, a harvest, grain The sky through mist a cobalt blue displayed
Standon with its fords and wandering cows Little rivers,Essex, flowing down The Stort joins with the Lea,a gurglimg sound Water for the Thames and mossy ground
The earth feels like my body sacrificed An artist’s canvas stretched , a matricide
It Jesus Christ and his mother Mary and father Joseph had arrived in a dinghy on the south coast the Home secretary would have sent them to Uganda. And if God were there
Would they have sent God to Uganda?
Well since God is everywhere he’s already in Uganda.
But 2000 years ago aeroplanes did not exist
Why,is it a long way to Uganda?
Where do you think it is is?
I thought it was one of the Shetland Islands.
In that case why are people from Uganda black?
Well it can get very hot in Scotland.
Is it doesn’t make sense because we are further South than Scotland and we are not all black
And Africa is further South than England and most of them are black.
This form of argument is clearly not very satisfactory. A lot of people in Britain believe that Uganda is an island off Scotland that might be why Suella Braverman gets away with her proposals. But I don’t think she really thinks Uganda is in Scotland.
I didn’t know she went around making proposals. I thought she was already married. Does she come from Uganda do you thinj?
What a racist remark. My newsagent came from Uganda because they were afraid of idi Amin
I’m sorry but I didn’t realise it was racist to mention Uganda
What about Uganda?
Strangely before the Germans killed the Jews they had wondered about sending them to Uganda. It’s understandable but Jews are not black. And Uganda was and probably still is very dangerous place to live for anybody.
Some Jews are yellows and they live in China.
What a remarkable coincidence. Can they speak Chinese
Yea they realised that’s Hebrew is not spoken by many Chinese people.Nor are Jews born speaking Chinese even when they’re living in China yet Chinese babies speak in Chinese. It’s all very puzzling
Well the Hebrew alphabet is easier to learn than the Chinese alphabet.
It’s one thing learning the alphabet but it is another to speak the language.
Just think most people in Britain didn’t know the alphabets until the last 200 years. They could communicate with each other really well. They could speak English perfectly
And when they learnt the alphabet they could read the Sun and the Mail.
What a great step forward for humankind. They couldn’t read the Moon though.
Don’t start talking about horoscopes.
Surely it’s the planets that count.
I can’t!
Very intelligent people can’t always count
Perhaps they were born before numbers were invented
I never knew numbers were invented
Well have you ever seen a number when you been out walking or when you been at home with your beloved.
Are you telling me that numbers are not real?
They are a product of our imagination starting off from the need to count your goat so sheep when the human race we came agrarian rather than Hunters gatherers.
But even Hunters would need to count the number of animals that they had caught unless it was only one or two
So the development of a number system which took hundreds of years then became something that anybody could use The symbol 0 zero is believed to have been invented by Indian mathematicians and I believe that when they traded it wasn’t only spices and silks and all sorts of goods but also ideas will travel. Maybe that’s why Marx believe that everything was economics.
Shoild we write in form to make a shape
Or let our mind run free, associate?
Such tangled webs within the mind are draped
Oh, to run as free as antelopes
But from sharp tigers noone will escape
Can we control , disarm within a shape?
Love’s enacted falsely , making rape
Inside our hearts shall we recover hope?
Such tangled webs the curtained mind creates
Round the marbled minds we half dazed traipse
Wherever we go hunting, we’re too late
Can we control our fear within a shape?
Collapsing faith cracks ,can we concentrate
Or from the deal , do we dissociate?
Such tangled webs of mind make ripe our hate
Now sex compels but will can’t procreate
Can kindness smile and friendship instigate?
Shoild we write in form when we love shape?
Our mingled maps of mind might mangle fate
What was so wrong with me asking
About your absence from this world
And trying to grab you back
holding onto your coat tail
Eternity’s long enough already
We don’t need your vapour trails.
Was it a wicked thing to do
As you floated far away
To reach out to touch once more?
I admit I never knew you kept a score
Were you already packing bags
to throw out the door?
I knew it was the real thing
But some folk never do.
You have your expectations
And your tests and rules
But we never learned those
In our lessons at high school.
We learned rigour and icy vision
We learned definition and precision.
But what use are they in loving?
What use are they in life?
I didn’t know how to travel with no maps
And you were off anyhow.
The orchestra stopped playing
When they saw the gap.
You can’t fly forever
But I am leaving you.
In these circumstances
What does a woman like me do.
You can smile and squeeze your eyes tight
Suck in those cheeks and hide your love.
What’s coming after you ’s an eagle or a crow
Not a dove…it’s black I know
When you toss it all away then
Seems like it’s long past time
and emotion to call it a day.
Come again…..you must be crazy.
Love is clear to me now like the face of a new born daisy
Hiding in between two garden shrubs
A little fruiting tree has grown unseen
Now it’s filled with blossom humbly borne
That decorates the patient garden green
I see it with delight from up above
The window gives me visions ,maps of space
I see the blackbirds, hear them sing at dusk
Now all nature finds its proper place
Into a little crack a seed may fall
A tree grows up and cracks the paving stones
Thus are the mighty broken,scattered, scorned
All they leave are heaps of whitened bone
The humble may be raised without request
The proud are filled with hatred of the rest
When Mary got home she tried to find her key but it was nowhere to be seen. Then she remembered that she had another key with her. I must have dropped it in the cab she thought to herself I will ring them up tomorrow, Emile her large black and white cat ran towards her very fast.
You won’t believe this, Mother..
Emile I have told you before I am not your mother.
Why do you take everything so literally, the cat asked her in a manner that reminded her of the French psychoanalyst Jack Le Con.
If I am on the autistic spectrum she said to him, that might explain it.
Well you have to take a test to see if you are on the spectrum
But I have got comfortable with you you and I don’t want you to change your personality just because somebody says that you’re a bit odd.
Don’t tell me somebody has been spreading rumours about me. Who says I am odd ;;it all depends on the definition doesn’t it? I may be odd in some words but surely that’s what makes people interesting if they have a lot of different from almost everybody else you know
Well Jesus was very odd and very old wasn’t he ,because God was his father?
Do you think God was my father said Emile ?
I’ll ask him next time I see him said Mary cruelly.
Are you going to see God, can I come with you?
Let me put the kettle on and make some tea and then I will have to get some food out for the supper. Do you fancy some sardines from a tin?
Well I won’t say no to a sardine wherever it’s come from I know that God would never put them into tins
Next time I go to church I will start laughing because they are talking to God as if he is a being from another planet but I will be imagining him on top of a mountain putting a sardines into tins although being on top of a mountain it will be quite difficult to find sardines.
Nothing is difficult for God but he doesn’t sound very practical :I expect some angels would put the sardines in to tins he asked them to do that
Here you are said Mary and she put a saucer of sardines in front of the cat while she 🦐heated up a tin of chicken curry from Waitrose,
Around the kitchen she looked with sorrow because if Stan wete alive he would never have usedu a tin of curry for her dinner. Why am I so bad at cooking? I suppose I’ve never spent enough time doing it and also when you live by yourself it take the way the incentive
The Amazon assistant switched on the radio and they heard the end of the news.
Boris Johnson has an army and they are marching on London from Framlingham Castle because they can’t suffer the Home Secretary any more. When she compared asylum-seekers to insects even Boris Johnson was shocked. And Boris is a very rich man now so soon he will be the King.
Oh that will be very exciting. I believe
I think we’ve had enough excitement here since the referendum what we all want is so hot cocoa and an early night. I hope it’s not too late for that.
But will the citizens of London be able to sleep knowing that Boris Johnson is leading an army from Suffolk although if he meets beautiful women on the way he might take longer to get here. Let’s hope hes not fathering any more children. London is overcrowded already.
When you struck me,I vibrated like a kettle drum, then as smaller percussions and repercussions echoing from all the glassy surfaces creating a balletic geometry of sound tracks in space and time.
When you knocked me down, I fell against her and her and her; we were like a row of skittles and we all went down with the lifeboat; The infinite chain of being is.
When you hit me,the Fall spread across the world Now there is no Vertical All is undivine and graceless. By the Rod it’s ruled
When you left me,I left myself,the world,the rocks,dry land I weighed down sank to the ocean bed with coral eyes gazing.
When you struck my mind I became an instrument of a foreign power Singing a song I didn’t know.
When the glass was smashed the splinters flew into all our hearts. You didn’t know what we couldn’t see.
I lay on barren ground and gave birth To my own Creator in the desert
We feel the bitter winter of the heart The icy hand ,the cruel teeth’s sharp bite When close friends die, when lovers break apart
Terse,cruel words can make our deep self smart The weak have little power to make things right So feel the bitterest winter of their hearts
Humans may like fruit be much too tart Thus fantasied revenge can blind with light As close friends die or false lovers depart
While we suffer, we seek maps and charts Which path to follow,which leads us aright From the bitter winter of the heart?
The muscles clench, the ligaments are taut Faces frown, in mirrors demons shriek If close friends die or lovers haste to part
The pain of loss, the tears that agitate The mental functions,all have gone on strike Stricken in the winter of the heart
Retaliation , bitter, wants to fight. Yet we have little time to see the Light We curse the bitter winter of the heart Instinct, humbler. finds for us new charts
When Mary awoke, she felt the pain in her ear was worse. I think must have an ear infection, she said to Annie while she was beating the doormat on the wall to get the dust out. Maybe you should stop cleaning and housework.You are releasing lots of dirt into the air You are right,Mary replied.It’s just what Mother used to do But did she have a hoover? No, we had a Ewbank. Get a cordless cleaner and it will suck the dust out for you Thanks,Annie.I think I will go to the Urgent Care Centre.I don’t want an abscess in my ear to explode,as it were. I’m sorry I can’t come but they have restrictions about how many visitors go in Mary called a cab.Soon she was in the almost empty hospital.How much she would have liked a companion.Still, there is always God, wherever he has moved to. A young woman with thick frizzy fair hair called her in and said that she was a GP Mary was thinking how much better her pale lips would look with some lipstick As for her clothes, it is best to remain silent.I suppose doctors can’t afford to go to M & S nowadays Mary thought. There is some wax in your ear, the doctor told Mary in a cruel manner That’s good.I need a candle,Mary said inventively Then the maskless doctor stood in front of Mary and peered into her mouth. Sheaaaàa pushed Mary’s crutch away and announced, there is nothing wrong with you You must go out and make new connections, do things, go to Dances, play Bingo Get up and walk, she advised , Jesus remarked in the Gospel l,though he also asked the cripple to take up his bed yet there were no beds left in the hospital Oh,dear Mary said I am not wired myself as yet.My body is running on sunshine. Do you think I should offer my supine body to the lonely old men living in the big houses near here? I’m afraid I shall have to charge them.Do you have any free room with an elecric socket that I might use? And we’ll need a bed The beds are all full, the doctor replied Good grief, how many people are in these beds? Do they share? Don’t ask me.It’s my coffee break, the young lady cried Mary struggled up and went outside to call a cab At least it’s been a change of scene yet as the cab drove her home, the pain began to get worse. Is Mary going to make it?
She was sitting in the cab theb she wondered whether this pain could be a form of angina.
So when she got home she got out her GNT spray and sprayed some underneath her tongue. Very soon the pain had gone completely.
I am so lucky Mary cried. I was reading an article in the Guardian about angina and how it’s been discovered that women experience the pain very differently from men.
Men tend to have the classic symptoms of pain in the chest and down their left arm where is women can have an intense pain in the jaw or the neck and now it appears in the ear.
How my heart speaks 