For these sorts of blowups, the key, once again, is to “respond rather than react,” Dr. Cook said. “When we get activated, the limbic system, or emotional center, of our brain can take over and our logical reasoning can get lost in the mix,” she said. “That’s why it’s so helpful to slow yourself down, listen to your partner, and say to yourself how you want to respond before you speak it out loud.”
Dr. Cook also recommends analogizing your fight to a “fur ball,” or the thing that keeps coming back up once in a while, rather than something that will break you. “As aggravating as this can be,” she said, “see it as something that requires some maintenance. It doesn’t mean it won’t get better.”
Fair fighting is an ongoing effort, even when a pandemic is fanning the flames.
“Even the healthiest of couples encounter challenges and stumbling blocks
Mary woke up and found that she had slept all night on the sofa in the living room. This was the first time that she had ever done that and she was very puzzled.
Then she realised she had a temperature she then understood that she had suddenly felt too unwell to go to bed. Mary thought she would have her nap on the sofa but she was asleep for 9 hours. She called for her little cat Emile.
Emil6 ran into the room,oh mother he fried I thought you were dead.
Why did you not go next door and ask Annie to come?
I thought it was too late so I went into my basket and fell asleep and then I ate the cold sausages you left out.
The sausages were not for you. There were for the church bazaar lunch.
Well you won’t be able to go to the church bazaar this now will you? You may have got COVID.
I never had my booster vaccineshe cried thoughtfully. Didn’t have the flu jab either.
Emile said I’ve got something else to tell you. I ate all the stuffed eggs that you made last night and they were absolutely delicious so will you make some more ?
You’ll have to wait. I have used all the eggs that there are in the fridge so unless you can go out and find a hen and see where it lays its eggs you’ll have to wait till I’m well again
Why, are you going to go and find a hen?
No I will order them with the groceries from the Co-op. They do organic ones
It’s a pity that you can’t lay eggs, the cat said.
Human eggs are very small because after the sperm gets into the ovum and it becomes fertile it remains inside the mother being fed through the umbilical cord but chickens don’t stay inside the hen for 9 months the egg is put into the nest and the hen have to keep it warm and eventually it will hatch and out will come the chicken.
So when we eat the egg we are eating the chicken that’s inside it?
Yes although sometimes the egg doesn’t have an embryo in it.
They lay sleepily on the sofa wondering why human beings ate the eggs of hens
As Mary stood by the fridge at bedtime, a can of fly killer brought by dear Annie fell off the top and struck her red,orange and brown framed spectacles on the top.The heavy can hurt her nose I hope nobody thinks a man has done this. she said to Emile Well,I didn’t do it ,he mioawed cheerfully It must be an Act of God, she mused.I hope there is no bruise Ah,well.Are you sleeping on my bed,she asked Emile No,I think I might go out roaming Looking for frogs,she teased him I may return, depending on the weather Suddenly Annie knocked on the door Are you all right, she asked anxiously? Why, what is wrong,dear? Your nose is blue It’s that fly stuff, it fell onto me! I’m terribly sorry.We must put it somewhere else. Choose between me and the flies,Mary joked. You are my best friend.I will not bring this stuff again I am off to bed,Mary cried.Let me lock the door behind you Annie ran out, and stole The Duty of Genius by Ray Monk.She wanted to discover why Mary liked Wittgenstein.And it covers a dangerous and terrible era in human history from the end of several Empires to the Second World War and beyond I wonder what the children of Dr Mengele and the other dreadful criminals who committed torture and atrocties would feel like when they learned the truth abou their fathers So Annie is embarking on some serious study while Mary is reading Woman and Home magazine.What is causing this strange change? In bed ,Mary gazed at an article on ” How to dress well when you are over 80″ Alas all the clothes were expensive.Very Does it matter what I wear, she pondered? I suppose people do judge by appearances, she concluded.But which people? Maybe I shall dress in one colour from now on.But not black. Blue is a good colour.From now on if I buy new clothese, they must be blue Maybe just a blue silk scarf is enough to make a vivid impression Mean while Annie is crying over “The Duty of Genius” because at least two of Wittgenstein’s brothers took their own live and his sisters were almost captured by the Nazis who had to be bought off by the family wealth unlike Freud’s sisters So what are we complaining about in the UK, she asked herself before saying some almost forgotten prayers. And wished her husband were there to hold her in his arms.At least one of her husbands would have been most welcome
My sister came when I was two years old Born into an icy winter cold Her little face was full of sunny joy As we played with dolls and small stuffed toys.
We lined up all our dolls in rows by size The large ones at the back had blinking eyes We played with an old dog on little wheels It had no fur but still held great appeal
Dad lifted her and held her to the sky My allanah, love you till I die All too soon the family turned sad. Mother was not Mother without Dad
We survive and love and live our best If there is a heaven,we’ ll be blessed.
I have had an interesting experience 4 times in the last 10 days. Each time I felt very tired in the evening and I went to bed early. I woke up and I thought what a wonderful sleep now what shall I do today?
Then I looked at the clock and it was 11:40 p.m. it was not the morning. I went back to sleep. I often do waken up in the night but I have never before woken up feeling so wonderful.
Every minute you are thinking of evil, you might have been thinking of good instead. Refuse to pander to a morbid interest in your own misdeeds. Pick yourself up, be sorry, shake yourself, and go on again.
How my heart speaks 