The honeyed words invented as we loved
Now have no living speaker but myself
Lost, unique, the husband, so beloved
The honeyed words invented as we loved
Now, from my vocabulary they’ve been shoved.
I cannot say these words,this unique wealth.
The chosen words invented as we loved
Have,l0 no other listener but myself

I noticed that on a page about heart attacks the NH S says

You may feel some discomfort.

So in the bible we might have read

Jesus suffered some discomfort on the cross and there was no one to give him paracetamol.

I wonder what when discomfort changes into pain

The earth has its own gravity and grace
Perception will develop as we grow
Maintain the sacredness of this our space

When we live, we need to find our place
The process may be long and very slow
The earth has its own gravity and grace

The good and bad both need to be embraced
Grace comes easiest to those who’re low.
Maintain the sacredness of this dear space

Good and bad make patterns as in lace
And through the gaps, the living waters flow
The earth has its own gravity and grace

Life must grow at its own steady pace
By our intuition ,we will know
Maintain the sacredness of this dear space

Of the fruits of earth, the living taste.
Admire the flying birds from thrush to crow
The earth has its own gravity and grace
Maintain the sacredness of this dear space

When Mary got home after her Autumn shopping trip. she went into the kitchen where her cat was waiting anxiously
What have you bought,Mother, Emile miaowed
I got some black patent Mary Janes in Clark’s Sale
You had some like that before.You said they were too tight
Mary put the kettle on.It was copper coloured and cordless
Are we having our coffee now, the cat enquired?
Yes, but also I have read about a trick with tight shoes.Watch this.She laid the shoes on newspaper and poured boiling water into them
Oh,mother, that seems cruel; he phoned 999
Hello, my mother has poured boiling water into her shoes
Why? Is it to wash her feet?
No, but I am worried the shoes might be hurt.
We’ll send the ambulance immediately
Meanwhile Mary had emptied out the boiling water.She took off her socks and put the new shoes on.
There , you see.They will fit now if I leave them on till they cool
The doorbell rang.Two policemen ran in.
We hear you are causing suffering to your shoes
Is that illegal ,Mary murmured affectionately
Almost.When Boris lets Parliament begins we believe hurting leather shoes will become a crime
Is it because we are in the EU?
No, it’s only we British people who care about the pain of objects made from dead animals.So as soon as we Leave Boris will pass a new law
Is he a dictator,Emile miaowed?
We can’t answer that,Sir.You speak good English but where are you really from?
What is your first language?
Are you implying I am an illegal immigrant?That I swam in up the Humber or swam with seals off North Norfolk before coming to Weybourne a well known way for Conquerers to enter England? I am not Julius Caesar;he landed near Deal.There is a big plaque there.Not put there by him!
Yes, are you from the Ukraine or anywhere in Eastern Europe [YouRup]
Are they like YouTube?
Don’t mess with us.We can arrest you.We are the Police and soon we’ll have our own State!
But you have no paw-cuffs. have you?
We can use string, the policeman said creatively
That sounds much more cruel putting hot water into my shoes,Mary said politely but with a certain edge to her voice.
The policeman looked foolish.Yes,madam.
And cats can’t have passports, as yet.They go to a Cattery on the North Yorkshire Moors for their holidays.Some go to Cornwall.
Am I going, asked Emile? I don’t want to go all by myself.
No,I am renting a cottage in Hunstanton where pets are allowed.And the sands are white and the cliffs coloured in three layers
Thank you, replied Emile.I am happy to hear that.Can I have a bathing suit,Mother?Are there rock pools?
Ask LP Hartley
You tell me!
You will not go in the sea.It is dangerous being the Wash.
In the Wash?
Not the machine.It’s what they call that estuary.
I see, the cat answered politely.I’ll shave my face and get a tan.

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/wont-hospitals-let-patients-sleep#:~:text=Traditionally%2C%20hospitals%20have%20scheduled%20a,doctors%20make%20early%20morning%20rounds.

Another study, published in 2010 in the Journal of Hospital Medicine, looked at efforts to encourage patient sleep — particularly by rescheduling activities, nighttime checks and overnight medication doses so as not to wake patients. That paper, co-written by Bartick, the Harvard professor, found a 49 percent drop in the number of patients who were given sedatives. That can have the added benefit of improving patient outcomes, since sedatives are associated with dangerous side effects such as falling or hospital delirium or confusion.

“Sleep disruptions are actually not benign as far as patients are concerned,” said Dana Edelson, an assistant professor of medicine at the University of Chicago and an author on the 2013 study. “We’re putting them at unnecessary risk when we’re waking them up in the middle of the night when they don’t need to be.”

And possibly making the recovery a bit more difficult.

“Patients will tell you, ‘I was so exhausted, I couldn’t wait to get home and go sleep,’” said Yale’s Pisani.

Musing

A man who fond of lemons is
Cares not how he gives a kiss.
‘T is a proof that he would rather
Have a lemon than a lover.

A child who never was embraced
Will not marry in much haste.
It’s a hint that she would, maybe
Be afraid to have a baby

.A heart which mean with kindness is,
Will rarely feel true friendship’s bliss.
‘T is a proof that some would rather
Be correct than be a lover

A student who so clever was
Cannot match the wit of God
Tis a proof that she would rather
Be unknown than be her Saviour

attraction and attentiveness advantage aged and ailing

bizarre and blatant behaviour brings bother

conclusions confusing call for care in community

damned drugs do damage downwind,dearie

evidence and experience entwine and enthrall in the educational experiment

fortunes foretold frequently favor the fundamental frictions of friends too familar for freedom

gerontology gigs :granpa’s groaning and glorious green grave

haematological harassment has harmed the hospital hawfully

infiltration in the interior is indeed intriguing

jesuitical jousting jars the jauntless

logic leaning lefties leave a legacy of lassitude and longing longafter

meaningful mysterious and mad:my memoirs

nominally no names need numbers for numberless narcissistic needs

outrageous odium often overestimates our omnipotent orderings of ownership

perfidious proud and parsimonious:phillipa the peaceloving princes of paris and her perils and pastimes

quarantine ,quakes and quivers in the quorum are quotidian

romantic revelations rolled round recklessly in their romping room ,revealing ruth in the rug

supernatural smart-ware seems “sensible” sometimes

talking tantrum tweakers take the tablet together then tend towards tenderness

walking wonders work out well worn in winter

x-amine xylophones for xxxxxxxxx

yearnings of the young yield to years of yardwork and yacking

zygotes and zen:zoology for zoned out zombies

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It were right crackin’ at school t’day
Wot wur tbey sayin’ this time?
Thi said wi can do Greek next year
You’re not doin’ Greek
Why not,our Mam?
Ye can’t even spek English
Why, am I not canny enough?
No, we don’t spek English eether
Well, ye shud a thought eh that before y’ad me
Ye mean only people with BBC eksents can bear childern?
Well, we reckoned if we learnt English we’d lose our desire
F’wat, Mam?
F’ that! Ye know… It, ye get what ah mean
No,Mam.Can you not spell it our a bit more?
Spell it out, te dad would tan me hide!
Still he must a dunnit,Mam
I dunno, it wer dark.Mebbe it wer t’ cat, ah thought
Surely the cat’s not mi dad, is he?
It weren’t this cat, it wer another bigger one called Billy.
Well, how come I’m human?
You think ye are human, but am telling ye,ye got t’cat’s eyes
Just his eyes? How abaht his whiskers
Don’t be so daft, our Kath,Ye’ve got his hair
But only on my head so far.Willa bi changin’ into a cat as ah mature?
Wi’ll have te wait and see.Put ‘t kettle on.We need some tea.
Why, what difference will that make now.I’m a cat,I’m a cat…. oh, what’ll ‘et nuns say ‘et Convent when ah tellum?
You keep away from ‘et Convent~
Why, our Mam?
Do as I tell you.Never confide in a nun
Well,Ah shan’t let ‘et cat fettle me.Ah’m not that daft
Well, yi can’t do Greek and that’s final
Kyrie Eleison,Kyrie Eleison
Wot’s that?
Oh, nothin’ at all
Christe Eleison
For God’s sake speak English!
So will ye let mi do Greek?
No. that’s final
Right, it’s goin’ a be Maths, then
I don’t know where ye com from, our Kath
God only knows

---

Stan was in the dining room looking for an aged briefcase with his autobiography in it while Emile sat on an old TV set in the window looking at the birds.Mary was in the garden wearing an ancient yet trendy denim dress planting some trailing rosemary,lavender and sage in a small bed near the French window..She had decided that her salvation lay in the soil though what form it would take was not yet clear ;suddenly she heard a harsh cry.It was her neighbor telling off his dog,Emmanuel.Come,now ,he shouted.
Hail,Mary,he called.Can you spare a big potato?
Probably,she muttered peevishly without looking up.
I am making sausage boulangere, he informed her.But I use turkey sausages as I am a Jewish Hindu semi vegetarian.
I am not interested in religion,she told him kindly.I believe one can worship God ,if there is one, somewhere like a wood.
I like being on a group ,he told her thoughtlessly..
Well ,go and be in one she said naughtily.Do you like sex in a group?I am a mathematician and we study rings and groups but only in symbols as maths is like life with all the sensuality removed,if you catch my meaning,she ended artlessly.
Stan appeared at the door.I have just made the tea ,.he called.Hi Brian, how are you?i Why are you wearing a dress today?Are you changing gender?
No,said Brian,I am a mere transvestite especially in the summer.You should try on a dress,they are more comfy in the heat!
Well,maybe I will said Stan with utter sang froid.But it makes more ironing…
hey all sat down at the kitchen table and ate some delicious scones San had just baked and also they drank PG tips tea with milk and sugar as that is what the English most like to do apart from getting drunk.
Where is that lady Annie who lives next to you,asked Brian pensively..I like her bright clothes and her vivid lipstick.Is she single,he enquired in a faux naive manner.Well, perhaps but she is my mistress, said Stan defensively.Aha,aha,laughed Brian as he eyed the shrunken old man.
Now then,said Mary,leave him alone.He is like a magnet,women flock to him..
Now don’t exaggerate,Stan said shyly.I’ve not had that many.
I see said Brian.I’d love to hear more….. you’ll have to come to the pub and tell me the details.
Not flamin’ likely,thought Stan. ,as he examined his cracked leather briefcase with real brass buckles,backstraps and front pocket, a bargain at £3 and ten shillings in 1949.Hurry as not many are left.
All of a sudden ,he fell off his chair which broke into fragments..Brian was awed.I’ve never seen a chair break up like that he cried.
Well,ring 999 said Mary, a paramedic can fix it

S

Religion has been privatised like gas
I know in church we still can hear the Mass
Yet no Chaplain comes to dying men
I did my best alone without a plan.

Inside the holy sanctuary bare
I became the priest and comforter
I sang the sacred songs and gathered crowds
Outside our little cubicle they bowed

I saw a canopy of golden cloth
Hanging down from heaven, as it does
It came nearer till it touched his soul
I was silent, love can’t take control

For a moment everything was still
A little bird sat on the windowsill
Then the cloth of gold was lifted high
I wept the precious tears for those who die.

That one eternal moment gave us grace
I see your sunny eyes, your smiling face

They’re hunting snails
In New South Wales
They’re hunting bees,
And shooting trees.
They’re hanging worms
For lengthy terms
They’re on a diet
And don’t we know it.

The diet of worms shall be our fare
And on the bible. we shall swear.
We’ll swear our oath
We are not loth
We’ll strangle frogs
They’ll die in bogs.

We’ll always use four letter words
And they shall be our hunting swords.
We’ll kill the good
We’ll burn the wood.
We’ll shout out,fuck.
We’ll burn the book

We’ll let no thin skinned people live.
We’ll always take and never give
We’ll use our charms
To quell alarms.
We’ll molest girls
Cut off their curls.

As we’re human,  we are mad.
We kill the good ,seems love  is dead
We saw the babe in Bethlehem
We saw him die between two men.
We did not run to cut him down
We said,Oh,fuck,another clown.
For he spoke love
And said to give.
For he spoke peace;
Let joy increase

Like most human,we are crazed
We see it and we’re not amazed.
No sunset red
No welcome bed
No golden dawn
No welcome morn
No loving arms
No sacred charms
No newborn king
No tune to sing

Oh,we are damned
We are broke
We built Auschwitz
Saw the smoke.
And now it’s built again,again
While   drop the bombs
In Bethlehem.

And on our knees, we women crawl
To bury babies born too small.
To take the swords from these mens’ hands
And bury them in desert sands.
To pick up scraps of humanness
To hold their hands for God to bless.
We did it wrong,we did it bad
We never thought  or we’ve been had

Sitting in the bathroom,I’ve been stuck in here all night
Something alien’s in my gut, it seems there  is a fight
I wish I were asleep in bed, warm and bathed in dreams
My mind is anorexic  but I feel that I’ve been weaned

In the bed the sheet  has moved, who can be in here?
I’ll share my bed with anyone  but they must not want more
Negotiations all the time, the enemy, the fear
We hate best  those whom we love, for they stole  mother dear

Up again I feel my way without the bedside light
I don’t want the beetles   running ,fearing human sight
I didn’t think I ate  that much, but now I shall be drained
Sitting here, I feel annoyed by all these cruel pains

Crawling from the bathroom in the middle of the night
I wish I were in Finland with a  brilliant Danish knight

I hought more cyclamen and recalled you
Wandering through wildflowers  by my side
I don’t know where to put them , they might die
Then I would feel so sad and lonely blue
All we read of pain and love is true.
Yet we let our hearts stay open wide
I bought some cyclamen and recalled you
Wandering through wildflowers  by my side
I have loved not widely but a few
I have touched on bliss  and when it flies
I have touched the grief that truly  lies
I bought  cyclamen and recalled you

I can’t love you
without loving the whole world too.
I can’t open my heart
unless everyone can be part

Wait for me
I’m not afraid.
Wait for me.
I may be delayed.

I see you in my mind
Smiling, sad and kind.
I can’t love you
Unless I love the lost too.

Give me your hands
Outstretched across the strands
We’re all one.
Love has begun

https://psychcentral.com/lib/getting-anger-and-hostility-under-control#The-Basics-of-Anger-and-Hostility

Sometimes my hands curl up,
and other times,they open.
Then I feel the air;
My fingers relax.
I touch your hand;
uncurl it and press it to mine.
Palm on palm,it’s no secret
that palms connect to hearts.
In your face I see a hint of melancholy,
I feel it in my soul..
as if there was a secret connection..
thought how,I don’t know.
Somehow,touching, we create another soul,
Neither you nor I, but we……
Touching,need to be physical..
We know how a story can affect us that way.
What a gift to know we have touched someone…
In the heart.’s. most tender space.The place of love.
Both true and false,my palm is lonely.
Then I feel the caress of summer air..
To touch is to be touched
as one soul opens to another..
Vulnerable,human,loving,
Painful and illusory,like those dreams of childhood.
Now I go,first gripping, then loosening our hands.
Goodbye,we say,Goodbye

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The holiday we never had again

In Weybourne, we were happy at the dawn

We saw the sun ascend in tongues of fire

I saw the place where images are formed

From the door we looked straight to the North

The Wash lay to the left,a land of seals.

The high tide carries sand from Yorkshire shores.

Blakeney church now stands up well inland

We had not seen that vision pure before

Driving back through Walsingham,I sang

I learned my own heart from these little ears

There is no need for headphones nor the smart

Let your intuition help you when you steer.

I remember everything you said

Now I am alone in my new bed

https://www.theguardian.com/food/2023/aug/21/budget-tinned-bean-recipes-avocado-rice-taco-lime-orange-butterbean-spinach-olive-rukmini-iyer?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

When Mary awoke, she felt the pain in her ear was worse.
I think must have an ear infection, she said to Annie while she was beating the doormat
on the wall to get the dust out.
Maybe you should stop cleaning and housework.You are releasing lots of dirt into the air
You are right,Mary replied.It’s just what Mother used to do
But did she have a hoover?
No, we had a Ewbank.
Get a cordless cleaner and it will suck the dust out for you
Thanks,Annie.I think I will go to the Urgent Care Centre.I don’t want an abscess in my ear to explode,as it were.
I’m sorry I can’t come but they have restrictions about how many visitors go in
Mary called a cab.Soon she was in the almost empty hospital.How much she would have liked a companion.Still, there is always God, wherever they has moved to.
A young woman with thick frizzy fair hair called her in and said that she was a GP
Mary was thinking how much better her pale lips would look with some lipstick
As for her
clothes, it is best to remain silent.I suppose doctors can’t afford to go to M & S nowadays
You have wax in your ear, the doctor cried in surprisde
That’s good.I need a candle,Mary said inventively
Then the maskless doctor stood in front of Mary and peered into her mouth.
She pushed Mary’s crutch away and announced, there is nothing wrong with you
You must go out and make new connections, do things, go to Dances, play Bingo
Get up and walk, she advised , as Jesus remarked in the Gospel ,though he also asked the cripple to take up his bed as he walked yet there were no beds left in the hospital
Oh,dear Mary said I am not wired myself as yet.My body is running on sunshine.
Do you think I should offer my supine body to the lonely old men living in the big houses near here?
I’m afraid I shall have to charge them.Do you have any free room with an elecric socket that I might use? And we’ll need a bed
The beds are all full, the doctor replied
Good grief, how many people are in these beds? Do they share?
Don’t ask me.It’s my coffee break, the young lady cried
Mary struggled up and went outside to call a cab
At least it’s been a change of scene yet as the cab drove her home, the pain began to get worse.
Is Mary going to make it?

To be concluded shortly
Funeral arrangements by the Coop. if need be

Emile’s jumper

SeeOne evening Mary got earache so bad she was anxious if her brain might be damaged
What’s wrong,mother? mewed Emile her small black cat
I’ve got earache, she told him.And I am still not your mother!
When will you be my mother?
If the law was changed we could get married,Mary said wittily
I can’t marry you, it would feellike incest,Emile whispered
I don’t expect to have a sexual life now but you could massage my legs and run up and down my spine
Anyone can do that.
Well, not a dog I hope,Mary giggled.No I love cats
After watching “Princess Di, the true story” on their tablets, they were both happy to rest in their beds
Mary woke up to find her earache was worse, like a knife running into her head
Stan, she cried, where are you? I need you!Come home!
Emile ran in, with tears in his eyes
You know Dad is heaven,Mother
Yes,said Mary, though he could be in Purgatory
Is that because he had Annie as his lover,Emile asked
No, no, l love is not what I’m thinking of.I bought a very nice bag in Somerset as my workbag
When he left our flat to get the train to work, he had taken my bag not to mention six notebooks with unlined paper I was going to use for Art
So what did you say. Mother?
I said nothing.Wittgenstein wrote
Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must remain silent
But you could have thrown a bucket of cold water over him,Emil said angrily
I doubt Wittgenstein would like that,Mary smiled
Sometimes we just have to let things go or go into a bohemian boutique ..
I went into one and got a yellow cord skirt of unusual design and some deep red trousers
Did you not wear a top,Emile enquired jauntily?
No,I went to give a lecture on 3 dimensional calculus nude from the waist upward
Did nobody say anything?
I was so thin I looked like a boy and they were all enraptured by my words anyway
Those days we were civil to others and ignored their errors or that their trousers were ripped
and that some shirts looked crumpled.We mathematians don’t care about these things.
Then they saw DPD had a van outside. man crossed the road wth several parcels from
M&S.
Mary pulled put a long green wool coat and a cashmere hat
So who doesn’t care,Emile mewed?
I thought it would be good when I need to sit on a wall.The moss on walls is green.
Well,I can see the sense in that, he replied
In ran adulterous Annie their neighbour and Stan’s former mistress
Oh,I have bought one of those.I fear they will shut down
and it’s hard to buy a tailored wool coat these days.They have merino wool jumpers too
Perhaps I’ll buy another, she muttered.
Can I have a jumper,Emile asked?
May I
May I what?
Have a jumper
I am not human, he mewed.Don’t be rude
I will knit you a jumper,Mary told him.Let me know the colours you like
Don’t climb a tree in it or it might catch on a thorn
Oh, mother, thank you,Emile murmured as he fell asleep

In our yard, we had a dog on wheels.

Its fur was almost gone, it was so worn

I sat upon its musty back l,my steed.

I thought that he looked sad, he looked forlorn

In that house my grandma lived and died

My father was a child it was his dog

Rich as grass in meadows was its fur.

The rusty wheels were bright and pierced the fog

I see the yard the coal shed and the lav.

The green back gate my grandad coming in

The shed where bikes were piled up in a rush.

The cat jumped so fast on the ash bin

Dad went off then grandad went off too.

I see them coming home from church in polished shoes.

too.

I have heard grass singing in the wind.
I have walked through poppy fields in sun
I have suffered when dark rain descends

I have watched trees’ shadows in the ponds
I have known the arctic wastes of pain
I have heard grass singing in the wind.

Another soul is writing with my hand
Yet I have wept while loaning him my pen
I have suffered when dark rain descends

I have known the edges of the mind
I ‘ve sensed hollow silence un-contained.
I have heard grass singing in the wind.

I have sorrowed for humans confined
I have watched the antics of bad men
I have suffered when dark rain descends

I have seen the storm by camera lens.
I have felt the solar system bend.
I have heard grass singing in the wind.
I have suffered when dark rain descends

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/aug/21/poem-of-the-week-the-clever-cat-by-mary-hannay-foott

https://www.theexceptionalskills.com/the-dangers-of-email/#:~:text=You%20are%20more%20likely%20to,you%20were%20face%20to%20face.

https://www.spikenow.com/blog/productivity/how-to-deal-with-email-anxiety/

I thought that mobile phones would have legs but they are too smart for that.

>He said take the tablet three times a day. So I said

Does it matter where I take it customer

Is that a designer bag?

No it’s a colostomy .

I’m looking for a double-sided handbag for my wife rather like this Polish journalists bags.

Why do you want to double-sided one?

Because she is two faced.

Like twins sharing one body.

I wouldn’t mind if she shared her body with me. But on the second night of our honeymoon she said to me

We’ve already done that.

What a heartless b****

Actually it would have been very difficult because there was something about her that made strong men weep.

Why didn’t you leave her?

She would not be left.

Is that right?

Do pigs bark?

Do sheep yodel?

Do goats play the piano?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quotation_marks_in_English

 

Mary came home to find Stan crying in his old chair
What’s the matter,baby, she asked gently?
I feel so stupid, he told her.I was in the kitchen getting a drink but the running water made my   bladder want to empty
Well, we do have a loo in the hall
I forgot that so I picked up an old pan and used that
That’s ok,dearest, she whispered
Then I realised, it was a  colander!
I am sorry,Mary,
Well, it’s nothing.Women are used to things like this.
Hi said Annie as she  ran in with  her pink cheeks glowing
I  have got a steam mop today and I’ve just cleaned your kitchen floor.I’d done mine earlier
That is very kind of you.We had a bit of a problem in there
Yes, the tomcat up the road seemed to have left his mark but it’s ok now
She smiled at Stan. who still looked nervous.
I’ll buy you a steam mop for Xmas.I think of it as a toy and I am  killing Roman soldiers with the steam or I have other little fantasies
So do I,Stan muttered
Why don’t we have a cup of tea?
Mary carried the tea in on a wooden tray
Mary, that’s my desk drawer.
Don’t tell me you were going to wee into this
No, I brought it down  to shake the dust out before I put my pens and paper back
Well, remember, chamber pots are never  made of wood.
Wow. how amazing Why  not ?
Because it is porous so stuff soaks into the very wood itself
Annie said, why do you need one when you have an ensuite plus  a loo in the hall
Maybe   it is my second childhood,Stan joked  merrily
Emile strolled in
Smokey and I have been in the woods.The kitchen seems very   clean
I’ve been trying my steam mop on it,Annie reported
Very nice, said Emile,I’d like a small one
Cats don’t mop floors, mewed Smokey
Maybe we will be the first
Just to make sure Dad is well I’d better ring 999
Stan is not your Dad and he does not want to see anyone
Why not?
He wet the floor
Humans suffer so.We mate with all and sundry, wet the  ground and eat the meat
when you forget to freeze it
Well, never mind.We do have a bit of fun
Have more,Emile mewed
And so say all of us

I ‘m missing him like we miss that lost tooth
We were in the dentist’s chair
We had the anaesthetic but still felt the tug and force.
And the dentist
might have yelled,look at this,
I got it all out in one
You see,once,,the root was very twisted and tangled
I told him,take it away.
I’m missing him because his absence makes a hole
like that bloody hollow in your jaw where your tooth was
but in the soul.
And when I came home alone from the clinic
I felt that hole.The first time I had come back home
when he wasn’t here.
God doesn’t do anaesthesia, we gather
I’m missing him because he needed me so much
Now nobody needs me nor notices if I am here
Or if I fall over in the garden,will I die and rot down to the earth before
my neighbour recalls he’s not seen me for three weeks.Or maybe five.
I miss him the way you’d miss your flesh
if someone shot you with a rifle and made a tunnel through your body;
took out a lump which would hurtle away and fall to earth.
I’m missing his honey smell.
the knowledge,the feeling he had of me.
The hole in my space is almost tangible
in this room.
I wake up and wonder what he’d like to eat today.
But the dead don’t eat at our tables do they?
I remember I am alone at the table and I can eat whatever I like.
Oh,love,why did you have to go down so fast?
When you were the one ,solid I leaned on.
You were so human in my arms.

Waxy flowers poking through
Snow so white
Flowers bright.
Made me think of you.

I see once more your just washed hair,
Soft as snow,
On pillow.
Now my bed is bleak and bare

,
Face alight,flower to sun,
I loved you.
Love so true.
Fear by love,overcome.

Cyclamen in the snow,
Pink and red,
Now frozen,dead.
Love was,oh,so long ago.

But never gone from in my mind.
Thoughts so deep,
Upwards seep.
Love was gentle,love was kind,

Always in my mind