Life,the green of earth calls to my soul
I cannot rest indóors when new life calls
In wintertime, the darkness falls, enfolds
Life, the seeds of earth call to my soul
In spring the green, in Fall the warm and gold
Burst the seeds with heat, let love be told
As the greedy roots with speed enthrall.
Life and death, the summer winter cold
We must be less deferential to doctors and nurses and anybody with a small manager role like a community matron who think they can tell other people what to do which without having listened to them or empathise with them
Perhaps we have the unconscious fantasy that people go into medicine whether his doctor or nurses or carers as radiographers etc because they love their fellow human beings and most especially babies or young children we imagine full of loving kindness We’re all human and no one can live up to our ideals of perfection.
How many people can resist the wonderful exteriences of putting down others all people the ones who can be attacked most safely are the old or disabled ; for some nurses it’s babies they like to kill or injure as we are seeing with recent trials in Britain. we are too idealistic about human motives.and when we look at our own lives it’s easy to find we ourselves are guilty of this. Let’s think about it. is it trivial or is it more serious and if it is are we afraid to tell anybody?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2022/09/23/marriage-relationships-conflict/
D
September 23, 2022 at 7:00 a.m. EDT
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Do you know what “normal marital hatred” is? If you’ve been married or in a long-term relationship, then you probably do.
“I’ve been talking about this around the country for decades,” said Terrence Real, a best-selling author and family therapist who offers couples workshops. “Not one person has ever come backstage and said, ‘What do you mean by that?’ Everybody knows what it is.”
Get the full experience.Choose your plan
Even so, the idea that hating your romantic partner is “normal” may come as a bit of a shock to those who have idealized romantic relationships. One conversation with Real, and you will be cured of any notion that real life looks like a rom-com.
“No one acknowledges the underbelly of relationships,” said Real, author of “Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.” “Nobody acknowledges the darkness.”
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Relationship experts have tried for years to unlock the mystery of how couples resolve conflict and learn to stay together. John Gottman, a University of Washington marriage researcher, pioneered the study of relationships by recording couples during conflict and monitoring positive and negative words, facial expressions and body language. He calculated that strong relationships have a 5-to-1 ratio of positive to negative interactions.
Another researcher, retired University of Virginia professor E. Mavis Hetherington, studied 1,400 heterosexual couples over three decades and found a type of marriage most prone to divorce. She called it the pursuer-distancer marriage, in which one person typically presses to solve problems, but the other dismisses the concerns.
Real said he thinks the real problem is that many couples turn conflict into a power struggle, and nobody wins. “In normal circumstances, if you’re unhappy with me, that is not the time for me to talk to you about how unhappy I am with you,” he said. “Everybody gets that wrong.”
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So here’s what you should know about normal marital hatred, and what you can do about it.
September 23, 2022 at 7:00 a.m. EDT
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Comment
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Do you know what “normal marital hatred” is? If you’ve been married or in a long-term relationship, then you probably do.
“I’ve been talking about this around the country for decades,” said Terrence Real, a best-selling author and family therapist who offers couples workshops. “Not one person has ever come backstage and said, ‘What do you mean by that?’ Everybody knows what it is.”
Get the full experience.Choose your plan
Even so, the idea that hating your romantic partner is “normal” may come as a bit of a shock to those who have idealized romantic relationships. One conversation with Real, and you will be cured of any notion that real life looks like a rom-com.
“No one acknowledges the underbelly of relationships,” said Real, author of “Us: Getting Past You & Me
Story continues below advertisement
Another researcher, retired University of Virginia professor E. Mavis Hetherington, studied 1,400 heterosexual couples over three decades and found a type of marriage most prone to divorce. She called it the pursuer-distancer marriage, in which one person typically presses to solve problems, but the other dismisses the concerns.
Real said he thinks the real problem is that many couples turn conflict into a power struggle, and nobody wins. “In normal circumstances, if you’re unhappy with me, that is not the time for me to talk to you about how unhappy I am with you,” he said. “Everybody gets that wrong.”
Story continues below advertisement
null
So here’s what you should know about normal marital hatred, and what you can do about it.
https://www.publicbooks.org/b-sides-marion-milners-a-life-of-ones-own/
A Life offers unprecedentedly direct access to the mind and feelings of an early 20th-century educated working woman. Marion Blackett was 26 when she began the research for the book, in 1926, and 34 when she published it, under the pseudonym Joanna Field. She had completed a degree in psychology and physiology, in 1923, and soon after started working for the National Institute of Industrial Psychology, headed by Charles Samuel Myers, collecting data from various factories and industrial workplaces across England. The winter of 1927–28 was spent in the United States on a Rockefeller scholarship, attending Elton Mayo’s seminars at Harvard Business School.
She had married Dennis Milner just before leaving for the States; their son, John, was born in 1932. Dennis’s chronic illness meant that Marion had to return immediately to work: she taught psychology to the Workers’ Educational Association in the East End of London, and also undertook research for the Girls’ Public Day School Trust (published in 1938 as The Human Problem in Schools). She would eventually begin training with the British psychoanalysis group
I heard your voice outside the glass front door
I felt no shock nor worry nor surprise.
But there a man, whose image is a blur,
Handed me a box with friendly cry.
What part of me still waits for your return?
Why don’t I know you’re gone and shan’t come home?
What knowledge must my puzzled heart still learn?
Why do I get an urge to search and roam?
If we are conversations ,as I read,
Then our exchange has ended with your death;
And so I am not she with whom you laid.
Nor she with whom you shared a common breath.
When deprived of hearing your response.
I am no longer she whom I was once.
I wish I were on Hutton Roof again
The limestone and the little open flowers
The sea at Arnside like a distant gem
The spaciousness, like days with far more hours
I wish I were as agile now as then
I’d climb the mountains, hills,the little lanes
Windermere below still winding on
The handsome Lake the old man, Coniston
I wish I were in Dent, the curious shapes
The hills and their deep mystery engross
The height, the little river, the mistakes
The lost loved man alive, to hold me closeI
I yearn to be on Hutton Roof today
The holy smell of grass, the feel of air
←
I wonder who thinks calculus is part of geomorphology?
Topology, a branch of mathematics, is sometimes called rubber sheet geometry.
It’s a sad world when mathematicians have to study the sheets of those of us who have leaky bladders.
However, if Tracy Emin’s bed is a work of art it extends the possibilities for scientists and mathematicians.And this needed because with all academics having to publish very frequently they might run out of topics.
So we might have a study of duvets and the different shapes they might assume when they are covering just one person, two people, three people and since we are mathematicians, we could study their shapes when covering an infinite number of people.
Alternatively how about the effect of one person being covered by an infinite number of duvets?
Would it be aleph-null the infinity of the rational numbers or aleph 0ne [the infinity of the real numbers]?
Aleph one is the bigger of the two .
Aleph is the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet… and it is used because mathematicians already have used up the Greek alphabet.
So now we use the Hebrew one which is slightly different.
If you learned calculus you will recall all those delta x’s and delta y’s.
This makes me think calculus is part of geomorphology and I do believe that geomorphology which studies the surface of the earth is linked to the love and study of the mother’s face and body by human infants.
So calculus is linked to the studied love of babies.Can it be that if you had a disturbed infancy you will find mathematics very hard? Plastic geometry and plastic surgery will be dealt with later but obviously again it is linked to love or hate of the body though our bodies are not usually made from plastic but who knows the future?
And looking at the world with gratefulness
The dead flowers in the vase have their own charm
They have their form, their shape, their wistfulness
What is dead no longer does us harm
Thus being dead is no cause for alarm
There is no need to suffer loneliness
The dead flowers in the vase have their own charm
As they age, they look like a dead palm
The sort we got in church had comeliness
What is dead no longer does us harm
The secret of good lives is keeping calm
And looking at the world with gratefulness
The dead flowers in the vase have their own charm
Meditation on dead flowers is balm
We fear no longer our own death’s fullness
What is dead no longer does us harm
Waste not time in hateful wilfulness
We sing with love our own dawn choruses
The dead flowers in the vase have certain charms
What is dead no longer may alarm
I wish we were on Easby Moor again
Or looking down the hill of hasty bank
The feel of scented flowers where we had lain
We closed our eyes and into bliss we sank
I wish we were near Saltburn on the sands.
I wish we were near Redcar on the coast.
The butterflies, the seagulls and the Band
Your mother liked the sea and sand the most.
Your father likedthe hills and heather moors.
You were torn between them, now you’re gone
Your mother bough some honey for her store
Breathing northern air my loving one
When we got to Stamford you were low
Suburban London where no waters flow
I wish we were in Cleveland on the hills
We have to work in London for the bills.
Why did Jesus cross the street?
Because it was wrong.
Do you have a hotline to God?
What would Jesus think of the Guardian newspaper?
I don’t know but when I was 10 I was reading the Guardian and then I went into the front room and I said to my mother and her guests
What is rape?
From there onwards we took the Times. Sometimes we read it.
I got an A star in general studies. because generally everything is in the Times
Sometimes I wonder whether I should read the Independent.
I find it very useful when I’m polishing my boots. Or abolishing old fruit
We used to take the Manchester evening news to the chip shop because they didn’t speak English
Why did Jesus have no shoes?
He had sent his soles to be heeled.
Why did Jesus not wear trousers?
Jewish tailoring had not got that far 2,000 years ago.
Did Jesus drive a car?
Drive a car what?
Did Jesus write letters?
They had no Royal Mail then and soon we shan’t either.
Why did Jesus go to a comprehensive school?
He wanted to widen his appeal.
Did Jesus iron his clothes?
It was before the Iron Age when he lived. (That is not true)
Am I sure I’ll go to heaven?
Stop going to betting shops and wearing red bras and you should be ok
How about this atom bomb here in my pocket?
Please, let it drop,I beg you
Dream
Hollyhocks,delphinium and phlox
Foxgloves,cat mint, nettles,near by docks
The blind man breathed in air full of wild scent
His daughted named the colours now absent
High up on the Kentish cliffs we sat
Capel-le -Ferne I found it on a map
We listened to this girl, we did not speak
Absorbing by our senses,proud and meek
Now I recollect the details very well
In those dream like memories I dwell
Snapdragons growing just beside my chair
I smell the scent as if I were still there
I may be blinded by the tears of loss
But I remember, love, our happiness
Mary had ordered all of her groceries but she forgot to put tea on the list So she sent Emile to the corner shop with a note tied to his collar
Please give the bearer your best tea.
Emile went off and managed to get into the shop after some children who were getting sweets with their pocket money or debit cards
He went up to the counter and mewed, Mother has sent you a note.
One of the children laughed
Is your mother a girlfriend of Mr. Kumar?
No, she is not, Emile growled with a loud throbbing voice
Mr. Kumar led Emile behind the counter into his living room and spoke to his wife
She asked Emile to sit down as she went into the kitchen and poured him some tea from her China teapot
.Do you want it on a saucer, she enquired thoughtfully?
Yes, please, said Emile. This is very kind.
He leaped onto the rug and began sipping the Ceylon tea. This makes a change, he murmured.
I didn’t know you could just walk in and get free tea!
After a few minutes, the shop door crashed open and he heard Mary’s voice
Oh, Mr. Kumar, I am so stupid. I sent Emile out to buy some Twinings tea and he has not come home! What shall we do? She started crying and dabbing her eyes with Stan’s hanky.
Come through, he whispered politely. Do not weep, dear. All is well
Mary came in and saw Emile drinking his tea and winking at Mrs. Kumar.
Emile, you stupid cat. I was going crazy worrying.I’ll strangle you!
Is it my fault, he replied. I only gave them that note you sent.
But is it not obvious what I intended? she said plaintively
These days you never know, the cat muttered. I try to be obedient as far as I can.
Mrs. Kumar came out and gave Mary a cup of tea.
Sit down, dear. Worry is so bad for you. Why did you not phone us?
Since it was just a packet of tea I thought Emile could carry it. He is very intelligent normally.
Yes, I am, thought Emile as he looked at Maisie, the Kumar’s lovely cat who was asleep on a chair.
I wonder if I can wake her up, he asked himself.
Does she drink tea?
Would she like to start a family? It’s not too late for me to become a parent.
Maisie opened her eyes
What’s that cat doing here?
I only came for the tea, Emile told her. But you look very beautiful. Shall we meet tonight
I’m washing my fur, she told him with a smile
How about tomorrow?
Have you got a phone?
No, he said, I’ll just caterwaul at dusk and if you are free I’ll be under the red maple tree waiting for you
Good grief thought Mary.
This cat is very cunning. Just one chance and he is making the most of it.
Mr. Kumar gave her some tea and she wandered home in a daze after asking them for a drink on Sunday.
My social life is looking up but there’s no-one who will hug me. If only Emile were bigger!
His legs are too short!I should get a donkey instead
Some people get creative with this signature. A few fun (if not necessarily business appropriate) examples found round the Internet include:
My parents wouldn’t buy me an iPhone so I have to manually type “Sent from my iPhone” to look cool
Sent telepathically
Sent from my laptop, so I have no excuse for typos
Sent from my smartphone so please forgive any dumb mistakes
I am responsible for the concept of this message. Unfortunately, autocorrect is responsible for the content
Sent from my mobile. Fingers big. Keyboard small.
iPhone. iTypos. iApologize.
Thinking about gnats flying/dancing haphazardly over a pond, I realised that a lot of our thoughts are very shallow and not very important. But sometimes we can get obsessed with them when what really matters are the much deeper thoughts and images in our minds as the big fish in the bottom of the pond are the ones that the angler wants
So anyone creative is probably aware that you have to listen with a special set of mind to be receptive to these thoughts in a similar way to an angular sitting on the bank of a river or a pond waiting patiently for hours the tempt the fish to take the bait.
Maybe we don’t have the patience. But do we want to remain on the surface of life never having any deep feelings? I don’t think most of us want to live like that I may be wrong but at least we have the choice sometimes.
When you are writing a poem the space between the lines can be as important as the lines themselves.
The Pain of Losing a Spouse Is Singular https://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/06/health/06cases.html?smid=nytcore-android-share
Stress May Be Your Heart’s Worst Enemy https://www.nytimes.com/2022/01/03/well/mind/stress-heart.html?smid=nytcore-android-share
Distracting thoughts harass my heart and mind.
Like gnats that dance on ponds in bright sunshine
In the deeper waters there are fish.
How to tempt them to my little dish?
The gossips have no wisdom, they are fools.
Idle thoughts are idle, they misrule
Do not converse with your own idle thoughts
Wait in peace for wisdom has a heart
Gossip has a function in a street.
Gives us bored old folk sweet meats.
Do not introduce your careless hate.
As ,hidden in the Shadows, Satan waits
Quietly drowning in the rivers deep
The inner guide will help you dream to sleep.
After dinner, Mary and Stan often went for a longish walk.They liked to go to a road where the richer people of Britain lived.,where there were some Georgian houses and one Tudor house.
At dusk, they would stroll by looking into the lighted windows to see how the rooms were decorated.And if the front garden was large sometimes they crept in to see more
One beautiful house they liked from the outside was spoiled for Mary by the garish tartan wall paper.
What sort of people would live there, she asked Emile who was in her handbag.with his head peeping out
Well,they have a cat called Percy,he mewed softly.
Why Percy?It is a noble name from the British past of course, she answered…
Earls of Percy were involved in affairs of state.
Well.Percy is Chinese, Emile said to her wittily.
He ought to be called Hu Ar U then, Mary joked ,or tried to as her sense of humor was somewhat lacking or maybe just odd.Still she looked lovely despite her moth eaten clothes bought in Sales in colors nobody else wanted like purple and lilac and bottle green.
She and Stan crept slowly up the garden path and peered nervously into the empty sitting room trying to identify the paintings on the walls.
All of a sudden, a woman who was completely naked came into the room and lay modishly on a sofa as if she were a trained dancer.She was a sight for sore male eyes.
Are they about to have a drawing class, Stan whispered.
She must be a model for a Life Class or an abstract woman with cat ,if Percy gets into the frame, Mary mused
Percy might scratch her then.Stan muttered.She could scream.
Suddenly a loud voice was booming at them.
What the hell are you doing in my garden?
There stood a big man in plus fours and an oversized red jumper with matching cheeks
We were admiring your wall paper, Mary said.I think it is very unusual.
He smiled in gratification.
I chose it, he cried.All by my self.
But why is there a nude lady on the sofa, Stan enquired?
I am so annoyed, the man told them.My fiancee likes to walk around nude but she forgets to draw the curtains first.
Does she want to make an exhibition of herself, Stan enquired hopefully.
We wondered if it was for a life class, you know, students learning to draw and become artists of note.
Well, that’s a good idea said Arthur thoughtfully.
The woman got up and came over.She opened the window.To their astonishment, she was Annie, their neighbour and Stan’s mistress too.Stan might have known but he had kept his face immobile after years of practice.
Fancy seeing you here, Annie whispered creatively in her sweet little voice
I am trying to seduce Arthur but with no success so far except a marriage proposal.
You need to be more discreet and indirect, said Stan.
If you act like this he will think you are an artist’s model and likely to be featured in the Tate Modern Annual Show of Infamy Now, would a man like this marry or even sleep with such a woman as you appear to be walking around like Eve before she ate the apple?
I don’t know said Annie but my clothes are all in the tumble dryer, anyhow.
Did you wet yourself? Mary asked her kindly
It’s nothing to be ashamed of.We all do it now and then especially since public conveniences were shut down across the UK.And now ,even coats are machine washable.
Well,I knocked over some lemon barley water in a big jug and so I decided to wash all my clothes. while I was here as Arthur as a tumble dryer
That’s a very strange tale Arthur told her.You look ravishing hanging out of the window with your nipples pointing up.Let me take a photo of
you.Say, Cheese
But will you put it on Twitter, Annie asked anxiously.
No, dear.I am not so cruel.Why don’t you get your clothes and make us all some tea/
I can’t make tea, she yelled and without pausing she dialled 999.
What is it Fire or Ambulance the lady receptionist asked politely?
It’s a kettle.
Is it on fire?
No , it won’t boil.Can you send Dave the paramedic
please, as he makes good tea.
We are quite busy so it may be two hours or more she was told.
I thought this was an emergency service, Annie said.
But who defines what an emergency is? the lady asked her philosophically.
I will die without this tea, Annie informed her in a ringing tone
Ok, hang up and I will send the ambulance now.
Arthur seemed a little surprised
I have private medical insurance, he cried.But they don’t make tea not even for old people.
Well, in the UK tea has always been essential to the National Health
But it will soon be drying up and we shall get flasks from the dustmen on Sundays instead.
I just don’t believe it, Arthur said and he then passed out on the rug which stood in front of a bookcase full of leather bound volumes of poetry.
Will he live?Read more tomorrow and pay the price… a few minutes of fun and gaiety.
Teaches us is that small things matter, and we are all connected to a bigger system. O
1 Do not stop your car to read this sign.Thank you
Houseplants and the world of green-
She forgot the humans in her life
Hysteria turned her life to dreams
She became both King and Queen
By noone could she be seen
Yet in the mirror she would preen
To no man she’d be a wife
How to pack a suitcase when you never wear a suit
However did we pack ,when we had no kindle books?
How to go on holiday on the perfect route
I sometimes wore a sandal, my sister liked a boot
We were not so worried by perfection and our looks
Nor how to pack a suitcase when we never wore a suit
If you play a cello then never take a flute
Don’t take any sandwiches unless you have a cook
How to go on field trips when the your anger is acute
If you feel the stress of life, why not become mute?
If you have a caravan, is it overlooked?
How to pack a suitcase when you never sawed a suit
If you only take one bag,, you seem to me astute
Don’t take any rifles it’s illegal to shoot rooks
How to go on holiday on the perfect route.
Make sure you wear your wellingtons if you walk through a brook
Take some stolen credit cards , if you are a crook
How to wear a suitcase when you never wear a suit
How to grow on holiday, slurp the perfect soup
By 
How my heart speaks 