I saw my level path turn steep and dark

I saw a tunnel black without a light

I hesitated wondering how to stop.

But seemed intent on death or sudden flight.

No human being held out a warm hand

They left me all alone in anguished pain Yet how should I in that state right decide

What was best for me, what made a claim?

The golden warmth like clouds from rising sun

Wrapped me all around till we were one.

There was no speech ,no person and no blame

No demand, no order, love remained.

Beyond despair I found this unknown care.

A sheet of tears ran down my poor face bare.

Each of us  likes  our  own quiddity;

As it makes us unique,don’t you know?

And if we are felled by liquidity

We must be sure not to  get drink   up the snow.

 

Our fingerprints, our eyes and our shadows

Are not shared with anyone else.

So as we lie in the butter-cupped meadow

We must ensure we will never be  false.

 

Quiddity’s a word that the toffs use

Anglo-Saxon  is   thought  non de trop.

O Temper O Celtic  O Flores.

Norman said he told me so.

 

Per ardua ad astra  perggun tree

Eton men all speak in Greek.

So tell them to eff  of if  flumshee

The English sure know how to speak.

 

 

At dinner with  folk from the Gunnament

Be sure to say ,eclectic’s inchoate.

But when you’re at home with your fundament..

Do keep your self esteem well afloat.

 

Why  is the tongue of the Bible

Not something the rich like to speak?

Maybe the eye of   that needle

Has made them more fluent in Greek.

 

Even the poor can have chutzpa

As they fry up a bagel in  lard.

Oy vey, the Messiah is out there.

So give away on your  new debit card.

 

 

Good Lord,God must speak Aramaic

Or Hebrew  and/or HTML

For the commandments may be  somewhat archaic;

But their translation  has given us  all hell.

 

On the shelf I found a prize I won

I came out first in an old school exam

They rewarded me with this book I revered

Catholic prayers, a manual of fear.

Its pages edged in gold, it’s very swish.

Maybe I should stand this in a dish.

I would put it on the table when I ate

And read a prayer to keep me out of date

I look inside and see the latin verse.

It moves my heart remembering, rehearsed.

I liked the latin ritual and the hymns

But not the constant emphasis on sin

I thought it was my fault that daddy died.

The weight of all the world was multiplied

I think I’ll put the prayer book in a drawer

I don’t want to see it anymore

Latin is no longer used in church

Once  it was the way we kept in touch.

Now everything’s in turmoil nothing lasts.

I wish the past would stay right in the past.

This is a phrase that is commonly used. Like many of these phrases it’s got a lot of wisdom in it.

But it sounds a little bit like yourvself is a bog that you can start sinking into. And then it’s hard to get out of it

So we can get too deep ruminating and thinking about ourselves and  not look at the world around us.

I suppose a good book might do that but it might be also better to go outside if possible

Meeting someone friendly and having a conversation about something other than yourself could be good

Of course sometimes we have to think about problems and ideas and things that we have in our heads to sort them out but if we get overwhelmed then obviously it’s not going to be very good for us

Lots of the time we’re doing things we have to do like our job or looking after family members cooking meals etc. so our minds are distracted.

When I was young I remember distraction was regarded as a bad thing but it’s now regarded as good if you are suffering from chronic pain for example and no doubt for mental health problem is although I don’t really like the term mental health

I’d rather say we’re all struggling with difficulties in our human life in this world some of us are more than others somehow than worse than others but basically it’s just a question of degree. So

When I was in hospital and I was delirious I was convinced that one of the nurses was going to kill me. I thought it might not be true but it seemed very convincing

I didn’t know then that paranoia is very common in hospital patients but it’s horrible nevertheless it’s not so far removed from everyday life

You must remember going to the cinema seeing the film lasting for two or three hours and then coming outside and feeling very weird as if you weren’t related to the environment there anymore but fortunately you would return to normal after a little while.

Everything is a question of degree I think. But when things get to a certain point we might need external help or we might need to do something to get us out of ourselves and into the world.

I’m not sure why but gossip becomes into my mind because that’s what a lot of people do perhaps women more than men sharing information about the neighbors possibly with the idea of being helpful but also it’s a distraction and it’s natural to want to know about other people and what they might be doing or what they have done why they are now imprisoned etc etc

Even having a hot bath could get you out of yourself.

It was raining at Annie went round to Mary’s house next door. How quickly we forget the hot summer she thought to herself privately without telling anybody at all.

Mary was making some tea

Go and sit down Annie I’m just putting the washing machine on before I bring the tea through

The two women sat down in Mary’s drawing room next to her sketch pads paper and her drawing board

So any gossip to share she queried

No I went to the clinic and at my ear syringes and now my hearing is much better but it’s hard to find anywhere that will do it now.

They have referred me to ENT Mary told her mellifluously. They said I need hearing aids but it will be a year before I can

get them because there’s a long waiting list adult suppose the government wants us all to go deaf. I told the audiologist that I can hear music all the time and at first I thought it was coming from somewhere outside but then I realized it’s actually self-generated

Yes you have mentioned it before  said Annie.

Does it really bother you?

Not always but my tinnitus is really bad this morning I can hear a very strange noise now.

It’s the washing machine said Annie humorously I can hear this as well.

What a relief that is because sometimes I hear a sound like thunder and lightning.

Lightning ia not a sound!

UB surprised what happened when you’ve got tinnitus and the senses may get confused sometimes

Oh maybe this thunder sounds louder actually is louder when there’s lightning as well.

I don’t know how we can check that without some scientific instruments and there to expensive for ordinary People to buy but it’s possible if we look on Google or duck duck go that there may be reports of experiments carried out in universities or other places I’m sure there’s a lot of research on storms. Why when I was teaching I met someone who had been the first person in Britain to do flood research.

I wonder what sort of noise you would hear if you actually in a flood in your area like your street or your town?

I think we were too worried about safety to worry about the noise.

Emil was so fed up with the conversation that he scratched there is ankle with one of his claws

I’d rather talk about sex and love and romancem

Wouldn’t we all asked Annie plaintively.

And so say all of us

https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/2025/sep/10/creativity-unconscious-process-incubation

Whether you are learning something new or trying to switch on a computer that you’ve not used for a long time when should you stop if you don’t succeed immediately?

Well when the adrenaline starts to run through your body you should stop what you’re doing and put it away if possible.

If you must continue wait till you don’t mind stopping and then you can start again but you should repeat this if you get the same problem.

There’s no point killing yourself because your computer won’t start so it’s better to ask for help then if possible

If you’re short  of money, I hope you’ve got friends because getting help from people you know is really nice

Paying someone if you can afford it is also good because people have to make a living so don’t be too keen to do everything yourself especially it’s making you a nervous wreck

Mary had been reading a new book called,” The Path” by Michael Puett and Christine Gross-Loh.To her surprise, she saw it reviewed on her phone where she read the guardian news

.She had decided to get out of bed on the other side
When she awoke the next day, she remembered her vow.Unfortunately, she forgot she was inside a fleece sleeping bag with a zip on one side only.Should she get some scissors and cut her way out on the other side?Or was that a foolish idea since nobody but she would know she had failed her to keep her first new promise.
She heard a noise and them her friend Annie came in wearing a long satin nightgown and a green velvet trench coat.
How do you like this, she asked Mary?
Mary was very red yet silent
What is wrong, with you Mary?
I need to pee but I can’t get out of bed on the wrong side.
You have no choice, said Annie.You must not wet the bed or die from a burst bladder. Get out on the right side

But I feel a failure on my first day.
Maybe that is your lesson.Accept you can’t do it and get on with your day.
Mary ran to the bathroom.What a relief passing water can be to poor ladies who suffer afflictions in these regions.
Annie went down to the bijou yet complex kitchen and began to make some toast and boil some eggs.She gazed at the peach walls and melon cupboard doors unable to decide if she liked them.Maybe kingfisher blue might have been better.Too late now.Mary could not afford a new kitchen even if this one was really old.At least it was not orange as was common in the 70’s.
Mary came in with her golden hair standing up on end like candlesticks from the Synagogue.
I just got a shock, she said
I can see your hair is standing on end.Was it the electric socket?
No, there was a man looking into the window and I was naked in the bath.
Perhaps it was King David, Annie joked.Why don’t you have frosted glass?
Stan said it would frost itself in the winter.He was the least practical man in the world.
Maybe we could glue artificial frost onto it?
Who was the man, asked Annie her cheeks pinker than her perky pink lipstick by Licumb ; those lips which were so thick and sensual with a lovely curve.
Mary tore her eyes away from these lips.I didn’t have my glasses on, she said.Maybe it was a man from a hot air balloon?
Maybe someone fancies you at last,saidAnnie.
Do you think I’d go out with a man who does things like that?
No, you could stay in with him, Annie joked, as tears of mirth made her green eyeshadow and red mascara stream down her cheeks like rain after a nuclear explosion.No wonder men ran after her in the street.
You could succumb to his charms,Annie whispered.
I think I’d like a man more sensitive than that, Mary screeched.
Well, Mary, you are so lacking in knowledge the art of flirting you only notice men when they do something really wild or unusual
Like what, asked Emile who had just munched up a bowl of dried cat food and was full of energy.
Well, Stan kept pretending he loved reading Newton’s original writings which he bought from some unusual website thinking it would impress Mary. However as he failed O leve; maths 5 times he could not understand it.He sobbed and cried in the public library and Mary was moved by his grief.Later on, though, he became angry at her intellectual talent and took me as his mistress to get back at her.She never even noticed!
I don’t see how having a mistress is a revenge on poor woman who was given her genes by God, said Emile.
Don’t be daft, she buys her jeans from TK Maxx, Annie answered.
And so do all of us.

I can’t write any more right now!

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/aug/31/michael-rosen-guide-to-having-a-happier-day-in-bleak-times?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

BBC News – The little-known Welsh writer who was a Nobel nominee https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c62n4n1r4ngo

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2025/oct/18/are-we-living-in-a-golden-age-of-stupidity-technology

When doubts and drawbacks struggle in the mind
And certainty seems but a demon dream,
When the faith to love is what no-one can find
For even when asleep, the mind still schemes

When darkness and defeat seem close at hand
And lights dim even as we pray for peace
when wrecks and ruins rile the native sands
When in this life we feel we've lost our place...

Then at the saddest depth we see the light
Surrounding with such warmth,with love adorned.
The path that seemed so wrong now leads us right
And in our hearts, warm feelings are new born

Within each storm there is a calm still eye
From there we see the fiercest clouds blown by

Little plants that grow near to the earth

By storm and tempest rarely are destroyed

They hold themselves to be of little worth

They do not wish to bully or annoy

These little plants will flower and make their seeds

As beautiful as any garden rose

Every living thing is made to breed

The wisdom of the humble we must know.

Walking on the paths across the hills

We trample on these flowers but don’t destroy

These wild flowers revive they are not killed

By walking boots that still this earth annoy.

These little flowers are holy and they say 

The proud may be in error in their way

https://www.etymonline.com/word/wry

I took my temperature yesterday morning and it was rather low that is it was about 35.4 centigrade so I thought I’d better take it again in the evening

I looked at the thermometer and it was 41.1 so I talked to myself oh my god I’ve got sepsis!

I was too tired bother ringing anybody like 111.

I took it earlier today and it seemed to give the same reading but when I examined it closely I realized that somehow I had converted the scale into Fahrenheit.

The reading was 97.1 Fahrenheit so beware. I do find it difficult to read certain types of instrument or on various sorts of surface

Mary and Annie had invited a new neighbour for tea.They got out the big teapot and some blue cups and saucers made of china
Is there enough milk,Annie enquired?
Yes,I’ve got six pints, my finger must have trembled when I was ticking the box for the order
Milk keeps much longer now than it used to Annie cried plaintively
Maybe the cows are given preservatives .Mary mused
You mean the cows eat them,Annie asked?
Well, it’s just one possibility,Mary thought out loud
Now, where shall Edna sit?
You sit on the sofa with her and I’ll sit in this swivelling chair
OK,Annie muttered as she shook the door mat and brushed Emile the cat
The doorbell rang.There stood Edna in a purple wool coat and red hat
Come in,Mary whispered.Let me take your coat
Edna went and sat down by Annie while Mary carried in the tea tray
Have you had your vaccination yet, she asked Edna gently
Oh, don’t talk about it,I can’t bear injections Edna said in an argumentative manner
So don’t you have blood tests,is that wise?
For God’s sake, don’t mention blood ever or I’ll scream
Are you afraid of it?
I don’t want to discuss it, nor urine, Edna said as she swigged the tea and filled her cup again
I’ll be glad when Donalld Trump leaves,Annie said in an effort to change the subject
Why don’t people like him,Edna asked furtively.
He is a rich man with a beautiful wife
I don’t like people merely because they are rich.Mary informed the ladies
I don’t mind them, said Annie, unless they are vulgar, greedy, liars, and sons of the devil
That is a very prejudiced view,Edna told her.Everyone is entitled to behave exactly how they want
Well,Annie said,I’d like to lie down on the grass over there by the river and have sex with that psychotherapist who lives across the road But it would cause scandal unless lots of people did the same
Has your imagined lover got no bed,Mary teased her?
I think that’s disgusting , in a an older woman said Edna.I suppose that’s why you have that teal eyeshadow and mascara on not to mention your rose lipstick.I’ve seen it in Harrods
I got them in Channel supplies in Birkenhead.They are near the Mersey Tunnel
It’s a long way to go,said Edna.How do you get there and why is it nor called Tunnel Supplies
I follow a man on Facebook and he often drives up there so I get my car out and keep behind him all the way on the M1 etc
Does he know about this?
No, he’s not following me on FB any more
I wonder why that is, Edna mused with a strange sneer
He is paranoid,I suspect
No wonder,Mary said.He thinks he is imagining you.
I hope his imagination is as pure as the driven snow,Annie answered
Well, we’ll never know.Look at Princess Diana….she had many lovers..
I hate her, said Edna viciously
Oh,dear. said Mary.Did she hurt you?
No, she was cruel to Prince Charles.Her mind was innocent then and she had no repertoire of the sexual arts
Many women were virgins when they were single.How would they know such mysteries?
They could look at porn,Edna said rudely..
Do you look at porn, Annie asked her kindly?
Well,I would if I had a lover,Edna murmured shyly
Maybe they should teach it instead of algebra,Mary suggested, though once it was an instinct
The parents might be angry,Edna said sadly if their children knew more than them
But intimacy is not merely sex,Annie told them politely
It’s being able to to reveal yourself to the other person without fear
and I don’t mean wearing see through nighties
Emile mewed loudly
Mother, don’t you wear one.The milkman might see your body
I find them too cold anyway,Mary giggled sensibly
If I get another man he will have to like wincyette or fleece
Well,good luck, said Edna.No English man would want either of you
Edna you are very rude,What is wrong with you?
I’ve got pre-traumatic stress disorder and there is no cure
Well,use your common sense or just keep quiet and sulk silently
And so say all of us.

https://theconversation.com/anger-management-why-we-feel-rage-and-how-to-control-it-50209

Anger disorder

There is no clear diagnosis of an anger disorder, but the psychiatric diagnostic manual does include “intermittent explosive disorder”, which is characterised by recurrent behavioural outbursts representing a failure to control aggressive impulses. This affects 7.3% of the population at some point in their life and 3.9% in the past 12 months.

Anger, however, is a common clinical presentation that features across an array of different mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, substance use disorders and many more.

If you begin to notice that you are on edge quite a lot, do things that you later regret, are quick to react instead of respond, and that you have people in your life who have told you that you tend to get angry, it might be helpful to do something about it.

Halfway between a doodle and a script

The clouds make curves and lines across the sky

One looks like a face with sultry lips

We are nothing sailing in our ships

The universe is terror ‘vall’s awry

I can’t read this writing what’s the script?

Even Einstein could not give us tips.

All I do is let them sail on by

One looks like a face with sultry lips

Interpretations flounder, don’t know why

Little drawings doodles idle scripts

In the world of meaning there are cracks.

Light gets in but dazzles human eyes

This looks like a face with sulky lips

The clouds were slow but now they seem to fly.

Do they look at us as they go by?

Halfway between a doodle and a script

I see your face with swollen sensual lips

As he crossed the room a cynical smile played upon his lips. When she looked up her heart jumped into her mouth.

I hope I don’t lose my mind she sought anxiously. Can you fasten your mind on so it can’t drop off?

I’ve never liked cynical people she thought moodily. If my heart doesn’t go back into place I will choke. And if I lose my mind who will find it?

I felt my body turn inside out with fear when I was in bed last night. Why can’t we lose our fear the sumo

She didn’t know what was happening to him as they lay tensely in bed

He was beside himself with anxiety as she looked as if she had swallowed a gobstopper. One of the cobbles from the road outside their first house would have done the job better that is it would have killed her instantly.

But could you get a cobble into your mouth? I don’t think so.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when her husband slammed the door. Her mind was absent at the time.

I wonder where absent minds go to?

I was out of mine completely.

I could see it calculating pi to 100 decimal places but why that was important I simply cannot tell you. It would be one of the seven labours of Hercules because however long you spent calculating more and more decimal places for pi you would never get to the end. So why even start? Well the concept just blew my mind

I found it easier to concentrate or mathematics and to maintain my focus and it stopped  my within thinking about multiple sin mortal sin and convenient sin and invaluable sin. I’m trying to say venial. What about ingenious sin? Moral sin is only one t away from mortal sin.

Do you know there are some thoughts that are like gnats on the surfaces of a lake.. such thoughts are useless but thoughts from the deeper level are no longer egocentric. It’s important to try to get away from the superficial thoughts which are usually very selfish or just simply boring

But once you’re standing back and looking at them that will give you a new perspective.

You might be able to see it from somebody else’s point of view.

There’s no time like the present

Be present it’s your birthday

First we had grow your own and now it’s kill it yourself.

We had paint your own pictures then it was draw your own blood.

Write your own books then
Read your own palm.

We used to make love now it’s ensure your own climax

We used to  talk to each other
Now we message our others
We used to share bedrooms
Now we are alone with just Zoom
We used to have fantasies now we have pornography
We didn’t see our own vulvas
Now we get plastic surgery so they look good for anonymous strangers.

If we do everything ourselves and nothing for each other where will that lead to in the end?

MARY OVERSLEEPS

Annie went onto Mary’s patio at 10 am and began to water her many tubs.The watering can was filled with rain water though the weather was now a little drier.

Emile ran behind her admiring her tight black jeans from Calvin Klein and her red blouse from Bowlands of Wrath.

Suddenly the bedroom window opened and Mary leaned out.
Hi Annie,I have not gone away after all.
Why not? asked her caring and dear neighbour
Well,I completely forgot because I was out last night meeting a man from Soul-mates and got home so late I slept right through the alarm.
A pity you didn’t bring him back,said Annie licking her lips.
I can’t bring any man here so soon,Mary informed her.I rang the hotel and cancelled my booking.With the weather so odd even Blackpool Illuminations would not cheer anyone up.I didn’t know which clothes to take either.
Isn’t it interesting that as we get better off we get problems like that,remarked Annie. When we were young we had so few clothes we had no trouble packing.
Mary laughed.My first year after University I bought two cotton dresses in Woolworth’s.I thought they were ok but later discovered they were almost transparent.Anyway I wore themn But now few women wear dresses.

7

Look at you in those jeans and you a pensioner!
Annie gazed up to Mary, revealing her thick Revlon skin polish and L’Oreal cream rich foundation in golden grey-beige.Her parted lips were coated in moisture rich coral lipstick by Mussolini and Co. of Argentina and Vienna.
Mary was wearing a long nightgown made of pure nylon decorated with photos of cats of all breeds.Emile had given it her for her birthday.He had managed to type it into the google box on his laptop paying with Stan’s credit card from the Bank of Vichy and Nice,France.
I want some tea,Mary said.

Soon she appeared in a polyester house dress from Daxon of Paris and the Ruhr. lt was covered in pictures of snakes.
Why,those snakes are rather horrible, Annie said.
I know snakes are in fashion but I shall avoid them.I saw some trousers in Marks but they might give a man the wrong impression.
That is sexist ,Mary told her shyly.They might give a lesbian the wrong impression too.
Oh,dear. Isn’t life hard now when we have to be so careful what we say.I wonder if it is because of social alienation and the rapid changes in demographics that we need rules when before we knew all our neighbours and they knew us.With strangers we need more rules.
I agree, said Mary defiantly.And I just saw a book called “Compassionate Assertiveness Training”She laughed.
Shall we send one to Donald Trump.Can you believe what America is like if a man like that can be President?
Well,it’s a democracy so if Satan lived there he could stand if he had the money..
The two women suddenly fell silent.Emile was puzzled as they rarely paused like this once they got going
Is he the anti-Christ, purred the little cat.
Satan or Donald Trump? asked Annie.
Well …. we’ve never seen Satan as yet…But we must watch out in case he comes here to punish the weak and the sick.
Well that gave them all a moment of wonder before Mary grilled some bacon and cut some bread from a loaf she got in the Victoria Bakery.
Here you are,she said to Annie,handing her a sandwich.Better eat anyway,whatever happens.Give me some hot tea,quick
And so pray all of us.
For he’s a Bally Woodfiller,
He’s a Wooly Sad Triller
And all day so are us.

God voluntarily turned himself in at one the governments vans asking illegal immigrants if they want to go home.Lawyers are assessing the cost of shooting God up to heaven from the top of Snowdon or Great Gable.
God declined to say how he arrived in Britain though his burkha gave us a clue .
She signed in for benefits as Jessy Christ and said she had two husbands.At the time she was labelled as border-line schizophrenic but the Father and the Spirit were found in her council house. helping some beggars to cook a nice dinner.To have a council house in Walthamstow is a miracle in itself
God will be getting a reduction in her housing benefit
He can sleep in one bedroom if the bed is bigger.The judge says he does not accept that each person in the Trinity needs their own room.
Why God came here is not known as yet.Why he stayed is even more puzzling given the native dislike of foreigners and illegal immigrants where ever they come from,
However God has been a great burden on the Economy as he has so many children that the Social Services can’t count them.Though many do seem to be employed gainfully or helping the sick and elderly
His English is ok grammatically but we were told he has a “foreign accent”
and had no papers or identity cards though he did have with him an archangel who spoke English with a Lancashire accent.
God has asked that all the Mediaeval Cathedrals be returned to the Catholic Church as his son does not like Anne Boleyn very much and thought Henry V111th was a narcissistic ego maniac with delusions… he
We’ll let you know more about the drain on the Economy and whether God caused the Recession in the next day or two.He certainly does move in mysterious ways…..that’s why no-one saw him arrive.
Watch out and keep your doors barred in case he tries to move into your house or garden shed with a few companions.You can recognise them by the golden glow around them and possibly their wings.Photos accepted.
Britain for the British.Have no mercy.Have no love of your neighbour.Everyone for himself or herself.He has to realise it’s a market society and that he needs PR and an advertising agent and a nationality and passport.
Keep Britain free from foreign invasions.

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2025/oct/12/try-these-habits-to-reinvigorate-your-reading

write down and look up the meaning of unfamiliar words, which makes me tortuously slow at reading. I also like to reread certain phrases or sentences and think about them for a while. I enjoy books that are not mainstream too, although one of my favourites has been Orbital,.

After

Peeling

Hemlock

Raw

Or

Dried

Iris

Tried

Electricity

Minuets

Interest

Nobody

Unless

Everybody

Takes

Sides

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2025/oct/13/poem-of-the-week-my-mother-by-claude-mckay?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Mastering the art of writing poetry is impossible

In fact you can’t master any art

Nobody with any common sense was even try

Ideas themselves maybe a torment rather than a contribution

Must we despair if we cannot be the master of all?

Ultimately we hope to give joy to someone somewhere In The world

Mentioning this is possibly a mistake

Instead we should lose ourselves and the sea of words as long as we can swim

Don’t deny your talents and gift s out of modesty

Expectation is probably an enemy but idleness is worse.

After all we are all human beings living for a while in this tragic world

That’s the best way to look at it

BBC News – Want to feel calmer? How 20 minutes outside will help https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cvg0yvdjgn5o