Mary got all  dolled up in her new pink wool dress.She was going to visit her former neighbour Sally in her pleasan and friendly Care Home not far away

Which handbag will match this, she asked her tomcat  Emile.She did love a bag of fine quality as did he.

Not a black one, he muttered

How about blue?

Yes cerulean blue is pretty.

Mary put her keys and money into the bag,

It is very large,but never mind

Emile thought, Now my chance has come.

He donned his denim jacket and got a clean Hanky

Then when Mary was powdering her nose he hid inside the  gorgeous Enny bag

Powder puff £4 by Barks 2 Often

Buy  bag in G bay for £5000

Mary put the bag on her

shoulder and went to the

bus stop

And so will all of us

Soon the bus arrived.She picked up her beautiful bag and almost fell over.It was very heavy.

  I am getting old, she thought I can hardly lift my handbag Little did she suspect the truth That Emile was inside  trembling in fear in case Mary should drop the bag off the bus.He weighed 5 kg without his fur,so he had been told by the Doctor.

The bus went off and soon they reached Naughty Hall with it’s lovely Cedar Tree and its rose gardens.They got off the bus and walked to Pewter Road where Sally was waiting for Mary.She did not know that Mary had this errant cat hiding in her bag

But she soon will

Mary rang the bell on the front door of Suffolk House.

Come in the receptionist cried.

I have come to visit Sally, Mary told her Is she still in Room 13?

No we call it 12a now because 13 is unlucky

For whom?

Well someone broke a tooth eating nuts in there.

That’s not bad luck.Its stupid to bite hard nuts when you are old

In the Guardian last week  it said that old people could still enjoy sex They advise using sex toys.So why not food

But not to help one to eat nuts I guess!

Can’t tell you as I have never seen a sex toy.

We will ask Matron

Do you think she uses them?

God knows but it is not part of the job description.

Not yet

And so cry all of us.

Sally was happy to see Mary

What a pretty dress she shouted.

Thank you said Mary.

Oh, lord your handbag is shaking.Is there a bomb in it?

Who would bomb a Care Home?

A crazy old woman!

That would be stupid.

Oh dear, it’s moving .Oh, God.

The women froze.

The two women stared at the bag.

And so have all of us.

Then they heard a loud Miaow.

It’s a cat.A large one.

Now Emile what are you doing?

Can’t breathe.Let me out, mother.Quick

Are you the cat’s mother, asked Sally?

Not literally, Mary confessed.

She let Emile out and it was a lovely treat for Sally.She had not touched an animal since her husband died 6 years ago.

She usually preferred dogs but Emile was such fun

And so are all of us .