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Erich Fromm’s 6 Rules of Listening: The Great Humanistic Philosopher and Psychologist on the Art of Unselfish Understanding

An experience makes its appearance only when it is being said,” wrote Hannah Arendt in reflecting on how language confers reality upon existence. “And unless it is said it is, so to speak, non-existent.” But if an experience is spoken yet unheard, half of its reality is severed and a certain essential harmony is breached. The great physicist David Bohm knew this: “If we are to live in harmony with ourselves and with nature,” he wrote in his excellent and timely treatise on the paradox of communication, “we need to be able to communicate freely in a creative movement in which no one permanently holds to or otherwise defends his own ideas.”

What are those brown objects in the bowl?
The salad green is easier to see.
Are they meat or are they Dover’s soul?

They’re not black so they cannot be coal
They don’t look like  cherries heavenly
What are those brown objects in the bowl?

Underneath the Castle in a hole
A room was made as World War strategy
Where  our government could hide if Hitler called,

To eat to please our mother is a goal
If we don’t trust, suspicion spoils our view
Of  those dark objects in the salad bowl

My nephew picks them up, they are not moles
They’re salad spoons of wood, auspiciously.
They look neat, they are not dead brown wholes

When we  ingest  food we need to be
Trusting of the one who made the tea.
What are those two brown objects in the bowl?
Are they meat or are they two lost souls?

The ghosts of failures past make tears   flow down
They run inside the wrinkles of the skin
The faces of the old and savaged ones.

The child teased for her foreign accent frowns.
Does she have the strength of mind within?
The ghost of failure now makes tears   flow down

We thought the old were wiser, never conned.
Yet we ourselves have thinner skin.
Our faces old and ravaged, tortured ones.

For the poor in money, loss abounds
They  blame themselves, they did not  ever win
The ghost of failure past makes tears   flow down

The poor in spirit to their Lord will run
Is this world of terror caused by sin?
Their   sorry faces traumatised, undone

The crucifix will be uncrossed again.
The holocaust in nuclear fires may come
The  salt of failure’s cost make tears  run on
The faces of the living, savaged ones.

To  the prospect of her husband’s death, resigned
Sad and anxious were her feelings at the news.
When he was cured, her heart was pleased yet pained.

Anger with  him sent her half insane
A paradox since she was not to lose.
To  the prospect of  his death,  she’d been resigned

Illogical, she felt he was to blame.
Reality  was hard and lonely  from her view
When he was cured,  the doctors she disdained

The doctors did not understand what’s plain-
That changing all our notions  makes us blue
To  the knowledge of  his death,  she’d been resigned

When bad news turns to good we ‘re redesigned
Our  inner  symbols slowly are made new
When he was healed, her cup filled up with pain.

What poetry  survives a civil muse?
What  love  such healing can, surprised, endure
To  the prospect of her husband’s  loss resigned
By his cure, her art was countersigned.

Alex

1.Inflatable duvet suitable for covering uncountably many non-algebraic numbers of people.
2.Cover for inflatable duvet washable in infinite large washing machine at 30 degrees{Oxon}
3.Bed big enough for uncountably many unaccountable people with degrees of little use.
4 Very long,unmeasurable bolster with pure silk cover.Dry clean only.
5.Chastity belts for uncountably many large and small paradoxical ladies
6 Bromides in infinitely many doses [Aleph null] for all men who have not got diabetes.
7 An infinitely, uncountably large number of glucose meters and pins to prick your finger and check your blood sugar
8.A teapot which boils using the body heat of an infinite number of men and women while they make love.
9 A huge number of china mugs [ not even tried counting]
10 Fridge with an ininitely large bottle of milk in it plus tea bags of same order of magnitude.
11.Aleph one boxes of silver teaspoons.Free to first persone who understands the meaning of life.

The sun owns us, it made the acers bright.
We flaunted a beech tree, a small bonsai
How I love the play, a tragedy, oh, quite.

When I croaked today I saw the light!
I dream of nothing and I rarely wonder why.
The gambling verbs have made the poets trite
.

Gone is winter with its widow’s might
Off, grey rod and take your Grecian pi.
How I love aught held with feigned delight

I saw a child write with her ink so white
I said, the paper’s black.do you know why?
The golden apple’s foreign, make it cry

My husband’s gone to bed, he’s dynamite.
Except he falls asleep when I pass by
My broad elastic band snaps in delight

I am Jesus, I am foreign.I’m not white
I may seem dead but I am God’s own spy
The silver swan’s song had a bitter note

Would a Wittgenstein interpret lies?
Will my nightie be ok if I should die?
The sun scents hours, we smile at cows so white.
How I love these sheep with green and golden eyes.

If you are happy to wear strange colours that most of us are not then  the Sales will satisfy your lust for clothes of high quality

1.Buy a wool coat for only £79 from a top make.Why?
Because it is ORANGE!
1b.Enter an old-fashioned religious order
2.Buy one ball of mohair and knit yourself a hat.Don’t  make it red or it will CLASH with the orange coat.
3.Knit yourself a Mobius strip neck warmer in merino wool.I invented it but now it’s in fashion
4 Wear men’s woollen vests–  a good reason to get married.Check the vest first before you  get married
5.Wear two of everything if you are thin enough not to appear  gigantic
2 Vests, 2 pairs pants.2 prs tights, etc. BUT Not 2 pairs of  JEANS.You won’t be able to walk.Ditto shoes!
Drawback: twice as much washing.
Advantage: Save money on central heating.
6.Move to  hotter country.Remember though you will be a FOREIGNER then.
So maybe not a European country?Remember ,no NHS.Remember Brexit?
7 Wear 2 nightgowns
8 Put a fleece sleeping bag between your sheets.Leave  the unzipped side on the side where you exit the bed  n the middle of the night.
9 Avoid birth control devices and be chaste.Get your partner to sleep in another fleece bag.That will make it hard for him to get near you.Don’t wrestle unless your bed is very big.You might  fall off and what would the  Fire Brigade think?
10 Do a lot of cleaning and vacuuming instead of watching TV.. it gets one warm and the room clean too.
11 Go for a run.
12 Stay in bed for 3 months till meteorological spring arrives.

• My printer ,oh what Envy;
  My Chromebook  lusts for Denby
  The seven deadly sins have come to town.
  I  guess they might be catching
  Pride and lust exacting
  So in these sins humanity might drown.
  We suffer the temptation
  Lust besets the Nation.
  Brides demand the most expensive gown.
  So sail away  or saunter
  In a boat on living water
  That will take away your tension and your frown….
  For advertisers know us
  So then they want to show us.
  How to make a payment they call down

Must  a bed be of infinite size
To contain aleph-null of your eyes?
I  thrash out this theme
In infinite dreams
Call it a surd to the wise.

I can’t take a date with a man
As I am counting  these sheets , aleph-one
Hercules  had it soft
In spite of his task
I  am old but have hardly begun

Topology, a branch of mathematics, is sometimes called rubber sheet geometry.It’s a sad world when mathematicians have to study the sheets of those of us who have leaky bladders.
However, if Tracy Emin’s bed is a work of art it extends the possibilities for scientists and mathematicians.And this needed because with all academics having to publish very frequently they might run out of topics.
So we might have a study of duvets and the different shapes they might assume when they are covering just one person, two people, three people and, since we are mathematicians, we could study their shapes when covering an infinite number of people.
Alternatively how about the effect of one person being covered by an infinite number of duvets?
Would it be aleph-null the infinity of the rational numbers or aleph 0ne [the infinity of the real numbers]?
Aleph one is the bigger of the two ..
Aleph is the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet… and it is used because mathematicians already have used up the Greek alphabet.
So now we use the Hebrew one which is slightly different.
If you learned calculus you will recall all those delta x’s and delta y’s.
This makes me think calculus is part of geomorphology and I do believe that geomorphology which studies the surface of the earth is linked to the love and study of the mother’s face and body by human infants.
So calculus is linked to the studied love of babies.Can it be that if you had a disturbed infancy you will find mathematics very hard? Plastic geometry and plastic surgery will be dealt with later but obviously again it is linked to love or hate of the body though our bodies are not usually made from plastic but who knows the future?

If I should live again, I’d be a  frog
For tadpoles insubstantial  cause no fright
Yet they change but not upon my blog

They change their being, leap up from the bog
As  bread is changed by holy, priestly rites,
If I should live again, I’d be a  frog

In  deep water,  luminous as fog,
The frogs live on the edge of human sight
Yes they  croak but not  till we’re in bed

As lovers lie  down naked on their rug
They tempt the frog, the adder, the termite
Then  they rage upon the death of God

As the  wheel  turns, see, it drips with blood
The human race is ground up, we’re a blight
Yes,  someone, somewhere, once  did something good

Oh dark, oh grey, oh where is the new light?
Seems like the  frogs, the Lord leapt out of sight
If I should live again, I’d be  your  god
I’d save the world by turning  us to frogs.

In Praise of Not Not Reading

We cannot understand   the sufferings of man
The holocaust, the murder of the Dove.
The grasp for ill,  refusal of the good.
The will to power,  and what we might become.

Where are the saints in their communion?
Where is God, they say he’s total love?
We cannot understand   the sufferings of man
The holocaust, the murder of the Dove.

We need  to see in order to become.
There is light inside, below, above.
The sun shines through transparent  new red leaves
Acceptance is Job’s answer,I believe.
We can’t explain  the sufferings of man

The body is the sacred space of love
Created by the fusing of two cells.
Within the holy body  spirit  dwells,
God ‘s inside; God is not high above.

In Cohen’s song, God is the holy dove.
In the Bible, different symbols tell.
The fiery bush, the still small voice speaks love
To me and you, the fusion of two selves.

The world needs no  dark demons hand in glove
We  perform  our evil very well,
Of salvation, who are we to tell?
We gas children; see, the torture lives.
Their bodies kill the sacred space of love

I won’t forget the tender  joy of  all we  had
The good need not be lost when lovers part.
You needed space so take it and be glad.

Because I love you, I shall  now be  sad
But I won’t let it stab me in  the heart
I won’t forget the joy of what we had.

With your loving words , I once was clad
Now naked to the winds, I must  depart
If you need space then take it and be glad.

The only constant love is that of God
No Eros is He with his arrowed darts
Do not destroy the joy of all we had.

On these forlorn tracks, I have  once trod
In my mind, I search for  ragged  charts
If you need space then go and speak to God.

I have my maps and now  the leaving starts
With tenderness, farewell my dearest heart.
You are lonesome  in your soul forever sad
If you need space then  be off ,I’ll be glad.

Now’s the  time for love and joy  that stun
The grass is growing lusher every day
Where the lambs and rabbits love to play
Now’s the time   for pleasure in the sun

Once imagined, civil war has come.
Like an answer to a  violent prayer
Now’s the  time for  strife and gas and   guns
The grass is flat and  bloodier every day

Shoot the  rabbit if he kills a nun.
Smile when horses pass by on the way.
While the trumpet can triumphant play
And the children  toy with soldiers’ guns
Now’s the  time for pain  and sadness  numb
The gas   makes breathing  deadly every  day

Jennifer was once a backing singer for Leonard Cohen and then became a singer in her own right.She made some records of his songs and I love her Joan of Arc.She helped him when he was not being very successful.

Where you went that day I could not go.
We cannot see the Jordan’s other side.
I helped you and consoled you in your woe.

Alone we each must sail the river slow.
The boatman is  companion and guide
Where you went that day I could not go.

To lose a husband is a heavy blow.
But by the will of God we must abide.
I helped you and consoled you in your woe.

Were you fearful of the worlds above, below?
I wish I could have journeyed by your side
Where you went that day I could not go.

Like refugees, we come to Love  in time
He bids  us welcome, invites us  come within
Where you went that day I can’t yet go.
I helped you and consoled you; be it so.

Mary went into her peach and turquoise kitchen to make a cup of tea.She was pondering a talk she’d had on the phone.It was because her washing machine only worked on certain programmes.
The lady who took her call was trying to persuade her to pay £191 for a year’s  cover as her 12-month warranty had recently expired and Mary felt she was going to expire as well.
But the machine only cost £240.I can get a 6kg Bosch for £260.
The overbearing woman kept on trying to convince her it was a bargain.Luckily Mary decided to hang up.
Annie ran in wearing a green hat and trouser suit with purple shoes.
Have you got any purple eyeshadow, Mary?
Just sit down and drink some tea while I look in my handbag, Mary told her.
I have some but it’s more violet really.
Annie craned over to peer into Mary’s large blue cross body bag from Knightsbridge.
It was full of music tapes.
Why have you got those tapes?I thought they were out of date.Most people have MP3 players now.Whatever they are!
Well, I got a little machine to convert them to files but I find I can listen with headphones and there is a superb one of Elgar’s cello concerto.In a way, the sound is more mellow than a CD.
Annie leant over to see if Mary had a vibrator or some other rude items in her bag.Though why anyone would take a vibrator out of the house was puzzling.Maybe they could help arthritis in the fingers.She saw five!
Suddenly there was a crash.Annie fell down over the remains of her chair which was yellow like Van Gogh’s.
Good heavens.You are getting like Stan.Is his ghost here?
Yes, they heard his voice say.I am missing you both in heaven and I miss Dave too.
What about me, miaowed Emile loudly.
I miss you the most of all,Stan cried.Ring 999.
Hello, can you send the ambulance The chair has literally fallen to pieces.,
In a few minutes Dave arrived in a red and black jumpsuit and purple trainers.
Look, Annie’s chair broke but it is Stan’s fault.
Don’t speak ill of the dead, Dave said gently.How can he have done it
I am here, whispered Stan.I made Annie lean over too far by placing rude things in Mary’s handbag.
Where did you get them from, Dave enquired.
Boots.They sell everything.
Could they see you?
No,  they cried out.Look, the vibrators are moving by themselves… is it the new  batteries?
So Stan had taken them without paying a  penny.What kind of spirit does that?A holy one? Unlikely, but who knows?
Taking them out, Mary flung them into the recycling bin.
You can’t put those in there, Annie muttered.
Well, I can hardly leave them on the garden wall for anyone who walks by to take.
Why not, Emile asked plaintively.
Because I want to be respectable, said Mary.What would all the neighbours think?
I doubt if they would know what they are, said Annie.And of they did, they would not be respectable themselves!
My, you are so intelligent, said Stan.I still love an intelligent woman.
Dave was busy mending the chair and filling the coal scuttle.Then he looked at the washing machine
It’s a fault in the control panel, he said.
The best thing is just to use it on the programmes it works on and don’t bother wasting money having it repaired.Then put the money towards a new one.Nothing is made to last now.
OK, said Mary.I can use rinse & spin or the hot cotton wash.Plus the mixed wash so it will be enough.She was a little weary as she was studying the book of Job in betweeb doing the housework and sorting Stan’s books.
Stan, it’s a shame you can’t take these books away, she told the dear Spirit sitting by the door looking at the garden.
We don’t  bother with books where I am, he said nervously.They might set alight!
Don’t say you are in hell, the women shouted in anxious voices.
Not yet but I am on probation, he admitted.
I thought once you got to Heaven that was it,  Mary replied.
I’m still in purgatory, he admitted.With luck, I’ll be moved up soon.
Why,it’s like being back at school,  the women said in amazement.
But when they looked again, Stan had gone.They were having egg and chips in purgatory and he loved that meal.Still the same even after he has died.What a puzzle it all is.

My husband is so naughty, a very naughty man
He throws down the Guardian on top of his beer can
He buys himself a sandwich in a cardboard box
And puts it in the laundry with his  bright green woollen socks.

He takes off his pyjamas and chucks them on the floor
He uses hankies  frequently, so I have to buy some more.
He wants to have thick sauces on top of all his food.
And when he has a hypo his speech is very rude.

I gave him such a shock when I learned to curse and swear
But we really need to,as “f off “is everywhere.
Why, even in the Bible there are some wicked words
I’ve not read it all yet, except the  Psalm 23rd.

I mean to finish reading it and then when I must die,
I’ll come onto a cloud and shout,Oh pi is in the sky.
For transcendental numbers give a hint divine.
Although you can get it better with a glass of  dry, white wine.

My husband drinks draught guinness and then he fall asleep
He hollers and curses when the oven timer bleeps.
He eats a piece of kipper and cried out,Oh,dear God!
Nobody caught this begger with a British fishing rod

He wants to move to Whitby and walk upon the sands
Sit in the audience and hear the big brass bands.
He wants to see the sun rise and to see it set…
So please send God some gelatine in case the air’s too wet

Sometimes I write poems or short pieces like the one I just added today which imply that it is better to forgive or repent than nurse hatred.I’m not saying it is easy nor is it always possible.But based on my own experience it seemed better for me in that situation.Similarly, I have written about revenge or punishment

I hope it does not seem I claim to have reached anywhere near perfection so I can advise other people.I don’t believe it is  right to judge others nor to imply you are better than them morally.Sometimes it is better not to let one’s feeling out and upset others.Biting the lip is often best.If we need to decide some person is bad for us we can do it when we are calmer.Vengeance often makes troubles last much longer.Some people enjoy fighting and shouting but I do not.So I have to work out how to deal with people who love to shout at me down the phone.Like hanging up or putting the phone on the table and avoiding the person for a while.

Butterflies by  MikeFlemming