How to harass yourself and others without really trying.
How to lower your IQ in one week.
How to look as if you are meditating and other useful deceits.
How to study mathematics and become very trying.
How to commit venial sins more easily on Friday night.
Other useful tips to prepare yourself for Saturday night confession.
How to seem sincere and apply venomous tricks
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/30/well/mind/mental-health-advice-2022.html
In the hierarchy of human suffering during the pandemic, a canceled prom or vacation or lost time with grandchildren may not sound like much, but mental health experts say that all loss needs to be acknowledged and grieved. We need to give ourselves permission to mourn, Tara Parker-Pope wrote in an article about disenfranchised grief. “Once you accept that your grief is real, there are steps you can take to help you cope,” she said. “Consider planting a tree, for example, or finding an item that represents your loss, like canceled airline tickets or a wedding invitation, and burying it.”
Read the full story:
It’s OK to Grieve for the Small Losses of a Lost Year
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/16/well/mind/how-to-harness-your-anxiety.html
But the less we fear anxiety and can embrace it, the more useful and helpful it can be.
Quote
Larks declensions.
Storks intentions.
Parks redemption
Works out pensions
York’s instructions
Talk inventions
Stark state pensions
Dark Emotions
Sweet redemption
With the latest predictions of how much gas and electricity will be costing us
It may be a good time to emigrate to a hotter country.
That’s hard to believe at the moment because we don’t need any heating because it’s 28 degrees outside and rising.
It’s too hot but we can’t save that heat.
Everyone here here is getting very anxious about it. I am already in debt because of some errors in my electricity readings.
Can I take a sleeping bag to the public library?
It might remind you you that during world war II a lot of people in London had t0o sleep in the underground.
At least we are not being bombed at the moment ;who can tell what will happen with Russia?
Since I lost weight my fingers have gone thin
Now my toes and feet are joining in
My red shoes are too big and fall right off
If I even try to have a cough
My wedding ring is now a size too wide
Must I marry now, I am no bride.
Maybe I could marry my own self
Although I will not bring gigantic wealthy
It will rationalise my longing for a ring.
Am I egocentric what do you think?
Mothers are familiar with bums
With bitten nipples colic in the tum
Was it for this they wore a wedding gown
Bore a heavy child without a frown
Fingers stained with nicotine and shit.
Now stir the dinner wash the baby kit
They did not know the nearness of their Doom
In the haystacks sunny afternoon .
Father in the coal mine black with dust
The tin bath waiting mother filled with lust.
There has to be a cat before the fire
A blackened kettle bows,it’s Lancashire.
Tea that makes your hair curl help them on.
They stumble up the stairs to bed again
What’s satire to the rich with their plum tones
Is near the truth, the rickets in the bone
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/10/well/mind/coping-with-anxiety.html
My view is that life is always uncertain as another young person in my extended family Ihas been diagnosed with cancer. But you can shut these things out and carry on with our work and life but now there is so many things happening that we get overwhelmed but we are still better off than most of the people in the world and than our ancestors. In this country we still have the NHS but it’s taking longer to getsmv things done because of covid-19 Katherine
quot
This week, the American Psychological Association reported the results of its annual Stress in America Survey. Worries about Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and global uncertainty were high on the list. Psychologists say that nobody should be shamed or feel guilty for feeling anxious. People with anxiety who have been triggered by world events should seek support and counseling. Medications may also be prescribed to help people manage anxiety.
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It pleases me to see an ancient wall.
Inside the garden hear the blackbirds call.
How we we used to sit there in the sun.
I sit here waiting but you cannot come
For your time on earth has now been done
Not a prison sentence not locked up.
I said goodbye with kisses on your lips.
I still feel your presence in the night.
I can feel your warm just by my side
Ladies why not buy a Bogner phone bag for just £169?
Or one could restate this as: why buy a phone bagv that cost £169. that is more than I paid for my phone which is perfectly adequate and could be cold in in a small cross body bag costing £14.88?
I didn’t know where
where
he had gone
where had he gone?
The call came.:
call came….
Man,white,good health
Has died.
Has died alone
Died alone in an hotel room.
So a stranger would find him.
Man alone;
man alone in hotel room.
there was a man
alone
in his hotel room.
Not wanting to be any trouble.
trouble,no trouble alone
in his hotel room
not his room,you see.
not a shared room…
An hotel room.
Tall man with light brown hair
alone in a small hotel room
with no TV.
We had no smartphones
Smart
Phones
No,don’t tell , not me ,not yet.
Not me.
He was all alone.
He was behind glass
glass walls
windows
a window of glass.
I could never touch him.
I could not touch him.
not touch,no,never,
Man alone.
Solitary man.
Tall man with brown hair.
Beds for love
Beds for leaving.
Don’t you die alone
in that hotel room.
Don’t die
Don’t go
You wanted to be alone,
I thought…
you were
afraid to feel.
Thin skinned and pale like a torn petal from a wild plant.
You were alone again
And you left me all alone;
alone without you.
Now I’m alone
in my hotel room.
my room.
Someone knocks.
I’m dreaming of you
wishing you were near me.
dreaming,wishing,
lonely for you.
He was all alone,they said.
In an hotel room.
His doom
In a lonely bedroom.
Don’t leave me yet.
Yet you were never here
behind your window
I see you
but can’t touch you.
Can’t touch you.
Can’t touch.
Touch me.
Touch me again.
Love me…
You were all alone
alone.
Why did I not break the glass?
Break the glass;
The glass.
Touch me again
Don’t leave me.
Irregular motions of the flesh
Bring them here to have them blessed
Impure thoughts do you have too few?
Boris will look after you.
Are you man or are you woman?
Pick your own then zoom your cousin
You can’t have sex when you’re at school.
But go ahead and break the rules
Teachers are not very good
They sin daily as we should
If you want to go to Oxford
Don’t swear air and scream when you see breakfas
Has the penny dropped today?
Financial Times will soon decay
Roasted glass buttons on a bed
of pure new wool
Artificial eyes in spices with super rice
Daffodil bulbs in kitty litter
Potatoes painted with mascara on a bed of noodles
Invent your own dinner choose any three of the following offers .
Duffle coat buttons
Shetland lace shawls
Gentlemen’s hats
Recycled plastic balls
Macaroni and old tomato soup
Old leather boots with brown owl +dead
They wreck your life with their possessive art.
And crumpled is your face and then your heart.
They do not know that they don’t know it all
The writing’s on the ceilings not the wall
9
Joy sings now in golden light,
Then after day comes deep,black night.
New moon is rising by grey trees,
The earth is where I want to be.
I want the day,I want the night.
I want the dark.I want the light.
I want to see and to be seen,~
And not to lose my precious dreams
The sun has set, grey clouds turn black,
The day just gone will not come back.
I’ll rest in quiet reverie
Until the reaper’s scythe takes me.
And then I drop and mix with dust,
Till worms and beetles sate their lust.
And fall into ten thousand motes,
And dance, in sunlight, music’s notes.
No more striving ,no more ambition
No more fighting,no competition.
Every particle’s the same
Without even a unique name.
And, side by side, we all are one,
The lusts of life have been and gone.
We dwell with dirt and grain and sand
At last we’ve reached the promised land
I am assailed by perfume
Wild geraniums.
I ease these flowers
Out of the patio bed
For they cover sage.
They cover flowers-
Blue geranium and saxifrage
Rosemary sprawls now
Lavender’s nearby.
Now inside, I hear singing.
Bird by the windows.
A robin came in,
Looking for my old man
I said,he’s not here.
Embodying soul
Sacramental life in scents
Flowers are themselves.
How I’d like to lie
In the poppy-filled meadows
With my beloved.
Or splash through the ford
Near the open air display
Work of Henry Moore.
The topology
Of his sculptures moves my heart
Vast,holy, peaceful.
Massive like unto God
They transform the soul and body
Into one being.
Then we are all one
With the sloping green meadows
And the wind bent trees.
Most of all,I know
Wildflowers are God’s darlings.
How he dwells in them.
Low,modest beauties
On the verge of the main road
See ,even here, smiles.
To lose one’s own self
To become a wild-flower
Grace will sanctify.
First, grow an ego
Then lose it in these green woods
Unselfconscious, Eve.
Sculpture makes a metaphor look real
We can use more senses than our sight
We see the body hollow where we feel
Seeing, touching,sensing all appeal
If there is sufficient sun and light
Sculpture makes a metaphor look real
We feel it in our gut, how can it steal
The feeling of our innards in the night
We see the metal hollow where we feel
The heart has broken up and disappeared
No more time to love or lust ignite
Sculpture makes a metaphor too real
To admit another’s sorrow makes us fear
Denial as the cock crows ending night
We see the body’s hollow where we feel
Oh, will such bald agony take flight
Can we hold the grief in our insides?
Sculpture makes a metaphor so real
We see the grieving empty and unpeeled
Why do people say you’ll be fine?
When you say, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” you’re not acknowledging what your child is experiencing (distress, concern, fear, etc.) and are giving in to the reassurance his or her anxiety – or “worry bully” – wants.25 July 2018
https://joannahardis.com › 2018/07/25
to touch especially a younger person in a friendly way under the chin: “Cheer up,” she said and chucked the little girl under the chin. Showing affection. affectionate. affectionately.5 days ago
My heart feels like a boiling sea confined.
Bring the teapot, I’ve grown tired of rhymes.
I went to the writing shop today
I bought ten pens my laptop has gone grey
My heart is not a warship on sick pay
Put me on some medicine I pray
Her eyes are like two pools of of water dull .
The words she utters are well-known in Hull
My heart is aching get the Algipan
Rub it on my boson if you canv
Can a spasm of rage kill an old man?
Her eyes closed and she seems to sleep again.
I’ve stilll not made my mind up it’s my brain
There’s nothing worse than a le creuset pan.
https://sourcesofinsight.com/satir-categories/
When things are steep, remember to stay level-headed.” – Horace
Dr. Tavris does not believe anger should never be expressed. Rather, she limits the circumstances to those that satisfy three conditions: when anger represents a legitimate plea for justice, when it is directed at someone who is the cause of the anger and when it would result in a correction of the offense or, at the very least, would not cause retaliation. Otherwise, she suggests counting to 10.
https://www.nytimes.com/1983/03/08/science/venting-anger-may-do-more-harm-than-good.html
Madow added: ”Freud was one of the first to recognize that catharsis doesn’t work. Anger is really a symptom. To deal with it, you have to get back into the unconscious and find out why anger is there.”
Dr. Willard Gaylin, a New York psychiatrist who is president of the Hastings Center in Hastings-on-Hudson, N.Y., calls the ventilation of anger ”a form of public littering.” He explained in an interview: ”Even if ventilation did relieve everything, which it does not, it would still not be justified.”
ADVERTISEMENT
Continue reading the main story
Dr. Gaylin said not enough attention had been paid to the societal aspects of anger. ”The real problem is not so much the articulation of anger but the generation of it,” he said. ”Many people are angry all the time, they have an inordinate capacity to generate anger.” The source of all this anger, he believes, is our technological society in which people are alienated from the rewards of their activities at the same time that happiness is held up as the main goal in life.
Anger is a normal emotional response that occurs in all people from birth to death, regardless of their culture. But what provokes anger and how it is expressed, Dr. Tavris says, varies widely throughout the world. Some people express anger through the use of ritual curses (as in the Yiddish, ”May all your teeth fall out but one, and that one have a cavity”); the Kapauku Papuans of West New Guinea hold a culturally circumscribed ”mad dance,” and the Mbuti huntergatherers of Zaire use humor and ridicule when reason fails to end an argument.
Physiologically, angry feelings are associated with the release of the same hormones, epinephrine and norepinephrine, that are produced under stress. These hormones stimulate the heart, raise the blood pressure, pour sugar into the blood, constrict the blood vessels to the digestive tract and generally create feelings of excitement and arousal. This has fed the theory that unexpressed anger can produce a host of psychosomatic reactions, ranging from hives and headaches to cancer and heart disease.
”Anger is a form of energy and you can’t destroy it,” Dr. Madow said. ”When it’s not dealt with it can lead to such problems as headaches and depression.” The analyst, who wrote a book called ”Anger: How to Recognize and Cope with It” (Scribners), said that while the relationship between anger and illness was difficult to demonstrate in a test-tube, ”the consequences of repressed anger are seen clinically every day.”
ADVERTISEMENT
Continue reading the main story
Dr. Madow distinguishes between ”suppressed” and ”repressed” anger. Suppressing anger, he said, is ”perfectly fine if you do it consciously and for good reason. But repression leads to trouble because the person has no awareness of the anger.” For example, he said, a man may knowingly suppress his anger at his boss for the sake of his job without untoward consequences, but repressed anger at being abandoned by parents early in life can lead to chronic depression.
According to Dr. Theodore I. Rubin, a New York psychoanalyst and author of ”The Angry Book” (Collier Books), repressed anger is the primary cause of anxiety. ”Ninety percent of anxiety attacks represent a surfacing of vehemently repressed anger,” he said in an interview. ”I’m not against suppression of anger; it’s repression – not knowing that a person is angry -when the damage is done.”
Dr. Harvey Rich, a psychoanalyst in Washington, said: ”A woman who’s been taught that she must bear the burdens of abuse may become a quiet alcoholic, or have an extramarital affair.” She’s always rationalizing that she is suffering. Her suffering stems from the lack of an avenue for expressing anger.”
Still, Dr. Rich agrees with Dr. Tavris that ”the gross ventilation of anger – mouthing off – is of no value. Anger is an inappropriate response in many cases.”
ADVERTISEMENT
Continue reading the main story
Dr. Tavris says studies have failed to show a direct link between suppressed anger and illness. ”The popular belief that suppressed anger can wreak havoc on the body and bloodstream has been inflated out of realistic proportions,” she wrote. ”It does not, in any predictable or consistent way, make us depressed, produce ulcers or hypertension, set us off on food binges, or give us heart attacks.”
In fact, the newest studies of the relationship between anger and heart disease indicate that an excessively hostile attitude, regardless of whether that anger is expressed, increases the risk of disease. Dr. Redford Williams, an internist and psychiatrist at the Duke University Medical Center, studied 255 physicians who had taken a standard personality test 25 years earlier. Those who had scored in the top half of the hostility scale had suffered five to six times more heart attacks and a death rate from heart attack five times as high as those in the lower half.
Dr. Williams said the next step will be to examine the consequences of expression and suppression of conscious angry feelings. There is the strong suspicion, he said, that those who let their anger out may be more prone to heart disease and those who keep anger in face an greater risk of high blood pressure and possibly cancer.
Dr. Williams believes excessive hostility is rooted in feelings of being unloved. ”These people grow up feeling that they can’t trust people to treat them right,” he said. ”People with this attitude are more likely to experience the emotion of anger more often and to experience it more intensely.”
ADVERTISEMENT
Continue reading the main story
Dr. Rich, the Washington psychoanalyst, believes that people who are quick to anger have a ”basic sense of badness that stems from the time they felt responsible for everything that happened. Whatever went wrong, it must be their fault. This defensive character organization creates an intense primitive anger just below the surface. When something goes wrong, like the car doesn’t start, they experience an infantile rage. It comes from the fantasy that you should be good, and if you were good, this wouldn’t have happened.”
Thus, she says, aggression, aggressive feelings and other heightened emotional states can inflame anger as well as the other way around. Encouraging youngsters to play aggressive games as a ”healthful” means of venting angry feelings is likely to backfire, she suggests.
Dr. Tavris does not believe anger should never be expressed. Rather, she limits the circumstances to those that satisfy three conditions: when anger represents a legitimate plea for justice, when it is directed at someone who is the cause of the anger and when it would result in a correction of the offense or, at the very least, would not cause retaliation. Otherwise, she suggests counting to 10.
Tomorrow, the Personal Health column in The Living Section will discuss how to deal with anger.
ADVERTISEMENT
Continue reading the main story
Subscribe to The Times to continue to receive the
On Tech newsletter.
Madow added: ”Freud was one of the first to recognize that catharsis doesn’t work. Anger is really a symptom. To deal with it, you have to get back into the unconscious and find out why anger is there.”
Dr. Willard Gaylin, a New York psychiatrist who is president of the Hastings Center in Hastings-on-Hudson, N.Y., calls the ventilation of anger ”a form of public littering.” He explained in an interview: ”Even if ventilation did relieve everything, which it does not, it would still not be justified.”
ADVERTISEMENT
Continue reading the main story
Dr. Gaylin said not enough attention had been paid to the societal aspects of anger. ”The real problem is not so much the articulation of anger but the generation of it,” he said. ”Many people are angry all the time, they have an inordinate capacity to generate anger.” The source of all this anger, he believes, is our technological society in which people are alienated from the rewards of their activities at the same time that happiness is held up as the main goal in life.
Anger is a normal emotional response that occurs in all people from birth to death, regardless of their culture. But what provokes anger and how it is expressed, Dr. Tavris says, varies widely throughout the world. Some people express anger through the use of ritual curses (as in the Yiddish, ”May all your teeth fall out but one, and that one have a cavity”); the Kapauku Papuans of West New Guinea hold a culturally circumscribed ”mad dance,” and the Mbuti huntergatherers of Zaire use humor and ridicule when reason fails to end an argument.
Physiologically, angry feelings are associated with the release of the same hormones, epinephrine and norepinephrine, that are produced under stress. These hormones stimulate the heart, raise the blood pressure, pour sugar into the blood, constrict the blood vessels to the digestive tract and generally create feelings of excitement and arousal. This has fed the theory that unexpressed anger can produce a host of psychosomatic reactions, ranging from hives and headaches to cancer and heart disease.
”Anger is a form of energy and you can’t destroy it,” Dr. Madow said. ”When it’s not dealt with it can lead to such problems as headaches and depression.” The analyst, who wrote a book called ”Anger: How to Recognize and Cope with It” (Scribners), said that while the relationship between anger and illness was difficult to demonstrate in a test-tube, ”the consequences of repressed anger are seen clinically every day.”
ADVERTISEMENT
Continue reading the main story
Dr. Madow distinguishes between ”suppressed” and ”repressed” anger. Suppressing anger, he said, is ”perfectly fine if you do it consciously and for good reason. But repression leads to trouble because the person has no awareness of the anger.” For example, he said, a man may knowingly suppress his anger at his boss for the sake of his job without untoward consequences, but repressed anger at being abandoned by parents early in life can lead to chronic depression.
According to Dr. Theodore I. Rubin, a New York psychoanalyst and author of ”The Angry Book” (Collier Books), repressed anger is the primary cause of anxiety. ”Ninety percent of anxiety attacks represent a surfacing of vehemently repressed anger,” he said in an interview. ”I’m not against suppression of anger; it’s repression – not knowing that a person is angry -when the damage is done.”
Dr. Harvey Rich, a psychoanalyst in Washington, said: ”A woman who’s been taught that she must bear the burdens of abuse may become a quiet alcoholic, or have an extramarital affair.” She’s always rationalizing that she is suffering. Her suffering stems from the lack of an avenue for expressing anger.”
Still, Dr. Rich agrees with Dr. Tavris that ”the gross ventilation of anger – mouthing off – is of no value. Anger is an inappropriate response in many cases.”
ADVERTISEMENT
Continue reading the main story
Dr. Tavris says studies have failed to show a direct link between suppressed anger and illness. ”The popular belief that suppressed anger can wreak havoc on the body and bloodstream has been inflated out of realistic proportions,” she wrote. ”It does not, in any predictable or consistent way, make us depressed, produce ulcers or hypertension, set us off on food binges, or give us heart attacks.”
In fact, the newest studies of the relationship between anger and heart disease indicate that an excessively hostile attitude, regardless of whether that anger is expressed, increases the risk of disease. Dr. Redford Williams, an internist and psychiatrist at the Duke University Medical Center, studied 255 physicians who had taken a standard personality test 25 years earlier. Those who had scored in the top half of the hostility scale had suffered five to six times more heart attacks and a death rate from heart attack five times as high as those in the lower half.
Dr. Williams said the next step will be to examine the consequences of expression and suppression of conscious angry feelings. There is the strong suspicion, he said, that those who let their anger out may be more prone to heart disease and those who keep anger in face an greater risk of high blood pressure and possibly cancer.
Dr. Williams believes excessive hostility is rooted in feelings of being unloved. ”These people grow up feeling that they can’t trust people to treat them right,” he said. ”People with this attitude are more likely to experience the emotion of anger more often and to experience it more intensely.”
ADVERTISEMENT
Continue reading the main story
Dr. Rich, the Washington psychoanalyst, believes that people who are quick to anger have a ”basic sense of badness that stems from the time they felt responsible for everything that happened. Whatever went wrong, it must be their fault. This defensive character organization creates an intense primitive anger just below the surface. When something goes wrong, like the car doesn’t start, they experience an infantile rage. It comes from the fantasy that you should be good, and if you were good, this wouldn’t have happened.”
Under normal circumstances, Dr. Tavris says, the likelihood of an angry response is often determined by the pre-existing level of physiological arousal. She notes, for example, that noise, crowds, frustration or aggressive sports events do not by themselves generate anger, but they increase the general level of arousal and make it more likely that a minor provocation will trigger an angry response.
Thus, she says, aggression, aggressive feelings and other heightened emotional states can inflame anger as well as the other way around. Encouraging youngsters to play aggressive games as a ”healthful” means of venting angry feelings is likely to backfire, she suggests.
Dr. Tavris does not believe anger should never be expressed. Rather, she limits the circumstances to those that satisfy three conditions: when anger represents a legitimate plea for justice, when it is directed at someone who is the cause of the anger and when it would result in a correction of the offense or, at the very least, would not cause retaliation. Otherwise, she suggests counting to 10.
Tomorrow, the Personal Health column in The Living Section will discuss how to deal with anger.
ADVERTISEMENT
Continue reading the main story
Subscribe to The Times to continue to receive the
On Tech newsletter.
