I didn’t know about the etymology of that phrase and it’s very interesting 3

https://www.phrases.com/phrase/have-your-heart-in-your-mouth_44744

We are in this boat together
Sailing across the bay.
Some have an easy voyage,
The wind is blowing their way.
I wish I could always be sailing
Across a wide ocean with you
And never reach the other side
though it may be in view.
I want to see the sunrise
Across the dappled sea.
The ripples of the water
Reveal a new world to me.
One day this boat will reach the shore
Unless destroyed by storm
And I shall have to leave your arms
Where I have been so warm.
So just before we get there
I wanted you to know
That I shall always love you
Wherever you may go.

The music has voices, people with arms stretched above their heads pulling invisible strings  they move. slightly move side to side

Connected to our  hearts, the rivers in our body the rivers of blood the veins and the arteries they’ dance to the vague unbearable movements of the music of the heart with blank intense eyes open zero mouths

There is something impossibly touching in the harmonies we cannot create: connecting us to the invisible grace of the universe

Traversing the horror :in creative boats are signs symbols,sense,incense

The voices are pure like children’s and faint like ghosts like holy spirits like flowers and thistledown

They slice into our souls, yes into our souls like holy knives

Deep in our body we feel it, we hear the call of the music and we long to go to the place from which it comes

Let there be light in the world

Let there be light in Ukraine

In Libya?

In Morocco

How can we in this unknown dance move together like strings of bones, violence of the ribs, the pump of the heart I want a heart beat to move the entire world

The heart bursts and disappears and we are cleansed into the actual shape of the music though we cannot see and we feel each other in the pulses of our wrists

London is a city of 8 million people.
In London anyone in the world will be at home except Donald Stump.We have mosques,churches,synagogues and temples and otherwise just millions of shops,buses and cars

Around Londom are the home counties:

“Heartfordshire” for the loving of all ethnic groups including Muslims and other monotheists who can dress however they like.
E-sex for the technology minded sexy wannabees who are often non-understandable owing to their Cockney exits
“Middle Sex”.. it’s obvious but is sadly only a postal area nowadays but all are welcome to use it if they post letters
“Surly “for civil servants , lawyers and Estate Agents
“Bark Shire “for dog imitators and real dogs
Ham Shire for Gentiles and actors or both though anyone can live there if they wish
“Can’t ” for sulky people who like going to France for wine and roses.Also for Jewish and other loving yet argumentative folk or Avocados as some call them .Prickly yet soft hearted.
“Sorry ” for redeemed criminals .Methodists and lapsed Catholics plus masochists of all types.

Coniston Owl-Man
Langdale Trick
Coniston Old Pan
Passing Water
Vast Water.
Herd Rot Pass
Amble Sideways.
Glass Mere
Sidle Water
Dare when Water?
Gulls Water.
Bow Less on Windermere.Thank you
Range over Sands
Marrow in Furnace.
Gullivers Stone.
Feet Path
Gentle Home.
Welcome Bay
The Kent Actuary.
Burntside Knot Hair Stylist
Golden Dale
Far Point.
Starry Knight
Date Vale Motel and Best Room for Sin only

You should look at this on the computer. It’s very beautiful image by Mike Flemming

While Mary sat in the kitchen on a large pine chair looking at Hotter’s latest shoe catalogue,Annie was creeping up the garden path in a pair of turquoise suede elegantly heeled shoes matching her teal tencel culottes and blouse.Round her neck was a large lump of amber on a gold chain handy for beating off muggers or lustful men and women
Despite the heat she was in full splendour with golden beige tinted moisturiser from Langone of Lyons on her lovely complexion,pink eyeshadow from Yves St Current and dark brown boot polish as her mascara had run out and she’d not been out for a while to buy more
Annie ran the last few yards and darted like an eel into Mary’s 1970’s orange kitchen.
What on earth are you doing,dear? Mary asked her.Those shoes look unsuitable for leading anyone up the garden path.Mind you,I do like them
Oh,I’ll explain,Annie said huskily.
I told that psychotherapist across the road I was living with you.
What exactly do you mean by living,Mary asked anxiously.
Well,he said yesterday that anyone who lives alone must be lacking in some way.Except for him of course as he had full analysis with Alfred Zion.
You mean Wilfred Bion,Mary told her.
Zion,Bion,what’s the difference?
It shows your lack of education,Mary told her.Not that education nowadays makes much difference when almost anyone can get a 2.2
.After all would you pay £90,000 for a fourth class degree in Aeronautical Engineering?
And Zion is in the Bible
That’s not quite what I would have done, said Annie.A degree in flirtation and pleasing men would be more up my street.And cooking of course although I once did have an interest in Hebrew and Aramaic.
It’s not a way to progress in a neo-liberal economy,although reading the Hebrew Bible is always interesting.Personally I prefer that to the New Vex-a man.The stories,the love songs,the action.Mary’s round eyes gleamed with intellectual life and a bit of languorous lust
How about God? Annie asked her.
He seems to have changed as he related to his people.But he was a friend despite being an abstract concept.Though one could hardly call him a concept as he is inconceivable.
Mary’s voice faltered as she was stunned by her own articulacy and wondered what she might say next that could offend millions around the globe with modern technology beinf so widespread
You should write a book,Annie said kindly.
I think I am ill-equipped to write about God.And ,also ,I am saddened to see how his own people have been treated.I can’t dwell on it over much as I already feel weak and weepy.
Why what have you been doing,asked Annie.
I have been sorting out clothes to give to the hospice shop. I’ve got a big bag
full already and 2 bags of newspapers and rubbish of various kinds which somehow creeps into my bedroom… tissues,cotton wool, old hairbrushes.I am hoping to get it nice and neat before my sister comes to see me in August.And no doubt she will not be happy even then.She’d like me to buy a small new flat with a lovely bathroom and kitchen. But I don’t want to leave my neighbours behind.If I won the lottery I could get the neighbours to move as well.Love thy neighbour etc
And now I realise I have far too many pans despite burning several.But it’s a big decision for a woman who was famed for entertaining friends with scorching Beef Vindaloo and lemon mousse that ;ooled like yellow rubber.Giving that up is a big wrench.
Why can’t you carry on, asked Annie.
Carrying on is precisely why I can’t do it.Now I am a widow the wives of my former colleagues and my own women friends are afraid I will steal their husbands.
Emile miaowed in ecstasy as any talk about the love lives of his family were always intriguing.He was hiding as usual behind the stone flour bin.
Don’t you see,said Annie.If we pretend we are living together then you can mingle with men without suspicion.
This is beginning to sound like a spy story,Mary told her.And do not drag me into a character part in the play based on your romantic love for that psychoanalyst.
He looks ugly and boring to me.
Oh,that’s just a projection,Annie told her.You are defending yourself against acknowledging how much you long to lie in his arms and let him smother you in kisses.
Well,said Mary,I see you have been reading Freud for beginners again.
Or is it Freud for Dummies?
Mary recalled how nice her dummy used to taste when it was dipped into a jar of malt and codliver oil.Maybe that is the answer,she thought.
I’m going to Mothercare,she called as she ran out of the house in her green trainers and denim trouser suit.See you later.
Annie sat in the kitchen wondering how soon she could see the psychoanalyst again without being accused of sexual harassment.Even old age has not deterred her from seeking a replacement for dear old Stan.A few tears ran down her cheek and Emile jumped out and sat on her knee.

As Mary walked down the stairs on Friday she felt her beautiful skirt of many colours slipping off her body and almost reaching the floor. Mary wondered if she had been losing weight but she could not see any difference when she looked into the mirror Maybe it has stretched at the waist .I hope it won’t fall off when I am walking down the street, said Mary, especially when I’m in the town
What are you doing ,mewed Emile her little black cat?
I’m not doing anything,she replied .I’m just trying to walk down the stairs and my skirt is slipping
Pull it up said Emile an unkind tone.

The cat is watching you
She replied tactfully,yes I will when I get to the bottom of the stairs but before Mary. got to the bottom her skirt fallen off completely and she was only wearing a brown silk petticoats and a pair of teal coloured tights.
You look nice Emile said. Maybe you don’t need to wear a skirt you can wear a petticoat instead,
Thank you very much ,said Mary but the weather is very cold and a silk petticoat is not warm enough for going into the town although I suppose I could put a very warm long coat over the top. Suppose I went into a restaurant and felt too hot then I would have to take off my coat and then everybody would see my petticoat.
Life is made up of Conundrums like this and the secret is not to start thinking this way in the first place;once you do this is very hard to stop.
Some of Mary’s friends say to her. Are you sleeping alright or how are you sleeping?
Mary never answers because she knows that if you start thinking about that this a lot it’s not good for you as you can spend all day worrying about whether you are going to be able to sleep that night.
We have no control over our sleep, she pondered , but we can’t afford ruminating as it causes mental illness according to some scientists and doctors. Rumination cuts people off from the world as they are always looking inside themselves.
Similarly being a perfectionist is very bad for you because again you’re not thinking about the work that you’re producing and enjoying it you are always wondering is this good enough or shall I start again oh I am so stupid etc
It is possible ,Mary has found, to control what you allow yourself to think about.You can cut you thought off before it gets going.
Anything that makes you keep thinking about yourself all the time will create a wall around you and other people can detect this wall; it makes them avoid you.
In general, we should have a few walls as possible both internal and external
Just then the doorbell rang. it was Annie the ex-mistress of Mary ‘s husband Stan.
Hello she cried, how do you like my new coat
Don’t tell me you’ve got another one ,Mary sighed
I didn’t buy it Annie murmured. That sweet lady who lives opposite told me that she has put on a lot of weight and she can’t wear this anymore ; she asked me if I would like it
But you have already got about 20 Mary said, but I like this one .It’s a lovely colour; is it what we call teal or is it Kingfisher Blue?
I don’t know but it seems to match my other clothes and and you know I do like a change.You prefer just to have one coat and wear it all the time, unless you are going out to your special functions, hen you might wear your best coat ,which is the brown one isn’t it which Stan used to like because he said it hung well…
Yes he did like that very much and I was wearing it only yesterday as it is very warm. I would like to have more clothes like you do but I seem to be too busy to go shopping.
Annie gazed up with her large round eyes upon which she was wearing turquoise and magenta eyeshadow and bright blue mascara which clashed with her purple lipstick from East Saint Lawless.
That purple lipstick doesn’t match your coat nor your eyeshadow Mary told her
Well I think that a perfect costume puts men off .So it’s better to do something wrong and anyway a lot of men are colour blind so they won’t know that it’s the wrong shade of lipstick. I think that coral would look better and I shall buy some next time I go into the term because teal and coral look very nice together .Purple is good with blues
Actually, Mary said ,purple make you look as if you’ve got heart disease or anaemia.
Thanks a lot, shouted Annie. What kind of friend are you
I am an honest friend ,Mary replied in a warm voice.I think that I don’t often say things which distress you but sometimes knowing that you would like to meet another man I feel impelled to give you my point of view.
That’s very kind of you said Annie but I think now I am too old to find a man who wants a mistress because a younger man could get a younger mistress and an older man maybe past bothering about mistresses and love and such things.And where can I find one,anyway.
I don’t agree, said Mary I think if you look very nice a man may be very proud to take you out and have you hanging from his arm like a trophy even if he is not able to proceed very far with bodily love. After all ,everybody likes someone to talk to and some companionship ;someone to help them out when they are feeling unwell.As long as that is it is mutual I don’t see anything wrong with it.
The two women stared out of the window and saw a wood pigeon on the shed.Maybe it’s better to be a bird,Mary thought aimlessly before she put on the kettle for a lovely cup of tea and some chocolate fingers
Tea is the best drink in the afternoon.
And so say all of us.

The geese have changed their flight path to the lake
For further to the East a river runs
Once used for milling flour for bread and cake
For making bulbs for lights and wartime guns

The lightbulbs were a fiction in the War
Radar was the secret they researched
An old man in my Art Class once worked there
A physicist who worshipped still in Church

God and radar,guns and shells and tanks
Angels,demons,Jesus Christ we’re damned
Money lenders,presidents and Banks
Evil now seems normal in our land

We saved the world from Hitler but we died
No souls survive nuclear matricide