Marry a clock

If you are Royal, you can sit on the Throme for 100 years [ like Queen Alexandra’s family]
If not ,try eating  a can of baked beans … and stay at home!

Some tanks for w.c.s were called Phoenix
But where is the eternal flame going to burn?

My friend was very angry:I have to clean 5 toilets every day
So why did they buy that house with 2 ensuites, a cloakroom, bathroom and a privy in the garden?
Do you need to clean a privy? How?

My garden table is black.Yet there is no smoke here.Where  does dirt come from?
How should I clean the table?
Don’t mention brillo pads ever again

I washed up today and broke 3 mugs.I should have taken a shot

I have never used a gun despite any sounds you may have heard/.

I am goingto Court next week for Trial and Horror.Then Sentencing.Can they still hang me? I wonder if beheading is faster… and as death usually comes on gradually, can the soul leave the body fast enough? I think it is not our prerogative to end lives at will.

When my husband was dying ,his nose was cold like ice.I wonder why it was not room temperature? He had a big nose so I wondered if  he was partly descended from the Jews of York plus a bit of Viking.His eyes were piercing like knives, but only when he wanted them to be.

If you married a clock you could wind  it up.Hello, God

If you married a radio you could get a new battery

If you marry a human,tough.