He put a new key in the ignition
But the orifice was damaged past derision
So the car failed to start
I felt grief in my heart
Don’t say no plan came to fruition.
The connection for the radio cord
Was broken so the music was barred.
I offered to sing
Or even to sting
This offer left everyone bored.
The state of fruition was good
When we went to find nuts in the wood
But we got drunk on cider
The horse and the rider,
Completed by bladders a-flood
Now most public toilets have gone
Everything’s private or none
One is a coffee shop,
Another’s a polka dot.
There’s nowhere for parking the bum.
There is a puritan ethos around
So using a loo is unsound
Old and dehydrated folk
Fall down in the grass in the park
Their blood pressure’s sunk to the ground
How my heart sings 