When I bought the batteries
They said, where are you from?
I said, I come from Darlington.
I’m British and I’m glum.
Your accent is not English
Your smile is much to warm
You must be from a Nordic state
You’ve come to do us harm
I asked them why it mattered
What my background was.
They said we don’t like foreigners
Because,because,because.
I asked to use the toilet
They said, you must give proof
That you are a real lady
And not a man in truth.
They did not accept my gender
So I had to wet my pants
And my old man was angry
He hollers and he rants
Must I bare my organs
To prove I am female?
Or will I be arrested
And thrown into the jail?
Soon I shall not go to town
Because I feel so bad
That toilets are not unisex
And foreigners have fled.
How my heart sings 