The storm clouds

The storm clouds wander random as a glance
Let’s toss the dice and choose a president
The sunset’s mauve and willing clouds a-bounce

The lies and fake news breed and so advance
Conquer minds and hearts of residents.
The storm clouds wander ,random as  a glance

Shall we fight or leave the end to chance?
The danger of the latter’s evident
The sky is mauve and thunder might roll once.

What is life like after the romance?
What seemed a louse may be an elephant.
Yet storm clouds wander random  to my glance

Who made the madmen who now high boot prance
As politicians  building walls   of cant.
The sky is mauve and God needs  a seance.

Are these human add ons ,miscreants
Wearing Nazi slogans as they rant?
The storm clouds shudder. random, elegant
The sunset’s fire has gone ; there is no dance

Like a mammoth climbing Scafell.


It’s like an old dream,I’m running but slowly
Like that film, Chariots of fire,men running on a beach
Someone slowed the film down so you could watch
Each leg rise slowly then come down
And they panted,but very slowly
Like a mammoth climbing Scafell.
I’m running to meet you,you’ve come back
I stretch out my arms for you and you smile
And smile and smile.
But you have gone

Yes my dear, said Stan


A few weeks after Annie moved into the house next door to Stan,he met her when he was  seeing his wife off to work.
Why does your wife not have a car she enquired suspiciously?
She is trying to keep slim,Stan told her.
Well,she’s not been very successful,Annie said scientifically.
She might be much fatter than she is now if she drove a car,he stated ponderously
That’s true,muttered Annie meditatively
I am your new next door neighbor.she continued
Yes my dear, said Stan,I have seen you sunbathing in the garden in your bikinis.
How come, she asked scientifically?
There’s a big hole in the fence.
Is it legal to look at women through a hole in the fence?
asked Annie.I know it’s illegal to look into their bedroom windows.
Is it really,asked Stan nervously,I had no idea.
How about women looking at men through a round hole?
Oh,they can’t be bothered to do that,she told him charmingly.
Well,said Stan,clearing his throat,I think I owe it to myself to tell you that I love you.
Wow,you’re quick off the mark,the lady said saucily.
What do you mean,you owe it to yourself?
Nothing,said Stan,I could not think how to word it.I mean I wish to unselfishly love you and admire your ripe body and your cute sense of colour.I love your teal trouser suit.And you sing sos well in the bath.
You didn’t mean you owe it to yourself to take advantage of me?
Not unless you want me to take advantage of you,the gallant old man informed her.
And you can take advantage of me.I make cakes and biscuits,wholemeal bread and I am training my cat Emile to do statistics on an i pad.
How extraordinary,Annie whispered.I didn’t know cats had an “I.” let alone pads.
Well,they have pads on their paws,he informed her intelligently.
True,she said,but where are their I’s?
Where are our I’s ?he responded in a manner to rejoice the heart of Mary Midgley or Susanne Langer two of Stan’s favourite writers on philosophy,logic,symbols and ethics.
Not that he practiced the Ethics but he liked to know what he was doing wrong.It’s more fun that way.If you sin,sin big!
A man who seduces women merrily one after the other may have no idea it might be wrong.Neither might the women.
Why is it wrong?Surely it’s better than killing people or leaving the lid off the jam all night so the wasps get into the jar?
Still,not many men get the chances that Stan got.No-one suspected this kindly,handsome practicing Catholic was a womanizer despite his blue beard,green eyes,white skin and red hair.And his slim yet strong figure clad in navy trousers and white shirts all the year round.Maybe his wife did but she preferred to read Aristotle in bed and dream about mercury… those little silver balls are so cute!
Well,as we know,Stan is about to make Annie his mistress but in such a cold wet summer,where can he take her to do the deed?
The shed?The public library? Cafe Nero?
I owe it to you not to tell you yet.That will give you time to think of a solution for this sweet old man and his naughty but nice neighbour.
Like,how about the confessional in the local Church?
Whatever next?I owe it to myself to keep it secret as you may come along and spoil the fun.
Stan went indoors and washed up in the boiling hot water he kept by him constantly as he owed it to himself to be ready to make a hot drink at any moment he fancied and by gum,he did fancy like no man has ever fancied before.So his daemon tells me.

Next time:Why did God create Stan and why does it matter?

It might confuse the cat in bed.



Pray, Father,I give you my blessing
That’s the wrong way round.Never mind,Tell me your original sins.
We don’t have to confess those surely.We are born like that.
I mean I am fed up with boring sins like theft and swearing.
I don’t know if I can think if any sin except I bought my husband some soap called Allure.If it does allure he might be unfaithful and it will be my fault.
Don’t worry about the future.At least he will smell nice in bed.You should get Chanel Number 5
It might confuse the cat in bed.
Why, do  you make  love to the cat?
No, but the cat sits on top when we do it.
So what’s the problem?
If the cat hates Chanel Number 5 he might leave the room and love without the cat is  not what we are used to
But it’s not a sin!
Oh dear.I can’t think of anything else.
You must try harder
Do you mean to remember sins or to commit more?
Whatever,it gets really boring in here.
Would Jesus say that?
He didn’t speak English.
Won’t he have learned in heaven?
I know on earth everyone online must  know English but they have no Internet in heaven.
How  can you prove that?
Heaven was  there before it was invented
So was England!
I see what you mean.But if they had the internet it would make them sad to see us being so cruel to the vulnerable.
But only if they knew English!
Well for your penance write to the Council and ask for unisex lavatories.
I thought they were all the same except some have  differet handles.
I mean that there will be just lots of loos for all races,sexes and genders.You won’t have to prove your are biologically man or woman.
OK,Father and I will keep a diary of my sins online
Will it allow comments
I’ll have to see how I feel.
You feel nice to me.
How do you know?
Because I am your cat.
How did you get in there?
The priest is in love with me!


Your accent is not English

When I bought the batteries
They said, where are you from?
I said, I come  from Darlington.
I’m British and I’m glum.

Your accent is not English
Your smile is much to warm
You must be from a Nordic state
You’ve come to do us harm

I asked them why it mattered
What my background  was.
They said we don’t like foreigners


I asked to use the toilet
They said, you must give proof
That you are a real lady
And not a man in truth.

They did not accept my gender
So I had to wet my pants
And my old man was angry
He hollers and he rants

Must I bare my organs
To prove I am female?
Or will I be arrested
And thrown into the jail?

Soon I shall not go to town
Because I  feel so bad
That toilets are not unisex
And foreigners  have fled.

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