Hearts in heaven

Talking to you

So what are you doing about Xmas?
What can I do?Abolish it!? Make it illegal ?
You know what I mean..
Well,how do you know that.
We both speak the same tongue.
Pity we don’t speak in tongues!
That would be more confusing.
But exciting!
Do you believe in the Holy Spirit?
I believe in all spirits wholly.
Tell me.
I don’t think the Spirit minds.
What!You have spoken to him?
No She spoke to me.
So he’s female?
In the Kingdom of Heaven there is neither male nor female.
That will be boring.How about in the Other Place?photo0333_001


I don’t think the Bible mentions it.
What would we do in heaven with no love?
We love without bodily intercourse.
Will we have hearts?
It depends on how we live.If you have no heart on earth
then it seems you’ll have none to take with you.
That seems logical…but scary.
Well,anyone can grow a heart…
How
Love your neighbour and your self..
What if I can’t love?
Just act lovingly… use your imagination.
My mother always said I had no imagination
Well,imagine that.

I can’t.That’s my problem.

It’s poetry,innit?

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Someone has just realised that in psychoanalysis the way the therapist speaks and the manner it is done in are as important as the words. In other words,it’s poetry. Surely that is true in all relationships?

Bless me , rather!

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I was thinking about going to Confession last night but nobody talks about sin anymore

1.So I copied my sister’s photograph in a dress she made herself without asking her.
2.I forgot to put my watch on so when I visited a friend I stayed far too long but it was partly because I could feel a kind of force from her pulling me in..
3.I forgot to sweep the path after my neighbours pulled down a lot of virginia creeper from both houses so no doubt I have trodden a lot of bits of wood and things into the house.However  since it is my house is  it a sin?
4. I read the Observer online woth an adblocker on because I have got the paper one delivered so refuse their requests to turn off the blocker…I am invited to donate but  there’s no where I can say,I have paid for the paper edition.
5.I wrote a  letter pf mild complaint  to someone who  was very rude to me.But that is a good thing as I am usually too much the other way.Nevertheless is it a sin?
6.Isn’t it boring?
7.Much as I covet my neighbour’s husband I have not lured him away.Even if I tried to If feel I am too old for him.He’s only 28… so he claims.I could adopt him I suppose.
8 I have dusted my pot cat but I hope I did not worship it  when I was daydreaming.
9.I looked at some lace underwear online.So far that’s  as far as I have gone…Do men like it?
10 I fear I have not done enough to interest Father Brown.So my intention is to worship a my calf tonight and my other calf tomorrow.Then I shall  worship a china duck which is in the hall on a shelf.Then I will tell myself a lie and be unfaithful to myself   by reading a romantic novelette.Then I will tell my husband if he wants me to move to Ealing he will have to get a car.A chariot of fire is not something the neighbours will be pleased to see in this suburban desert.But it would be just typical of my husband to spend our savings on one saying,It seemed a good idea at the time.13895392_10208628903533449_69103566612542102_n

 

At last I have  sinned… gossiping about my husband..That wil do for next week’s Confession

Yet all human lovers

 

I didn’t know I’d love you

With both my heart and mind

Every love is different

Each is a special kind

I didn’t know I’d miss you

In quite the way I do.

For we can’t feel emotion

Before its time is due.

And are you missing me now

Despite angelic hosts?

They may care for you , my  sweet

But I think I cared the most.

Yet all human lovers

Must part and go their ways.

Some may die and fall to dust

Some may go astray.

I didn’t know I’d love you

And hurt invade my heart.

I didn’t know that you’d love me.

But we would have to part.

From mother and her bosom

From father and his strength

We lose and gain throughout our life

Whatever is its length.

I didn’t know I’d miss you

With all my loving heart.

But . as we’re made of fragile flesh.

We must sadly part.

If you had been a sadist

If you had been unkind.

I would not now be grieving

And losing my own mind.

So maybe I should be grateful

For being found and known.

I wish you were still sitting here.

And I were not alone.

When we feel so lonely

No-one else will do.

It’s not that I am just lonely.

I’m lonely, just for you.

In the wet and stony

Pathways we must go

We must keep on walking;

Be patient when we’re slow.

The inner force is working

To make new maps for me.

Wherever they shall guide my steps,

With you I’ll long to be.

Whom once you loved

 So you are gone  who once declared your love
For that phantasm conjured in your mind
For onto me you brought down from above
A torment bitter and   hard words unkind.

Used to  friendship from within your books

You did not understand that I was real
Irritation grew as you did look;
You threw your poisoned  arrow  at my heel.

Whom  once you loved you  then began to hate
If not perfect, then intolerable I must be
And then you cursed me with this  sorry fate
Our child was born and him you’ll never see.
Illegitimate and born in desert grey.
I carried him alone from death’s dark way.

Fiction and chance

  • hanceIMG_0067
    I went to the doctor last week and he said,
    Who’re you,dear? I said
    I beg your pardon,but you know me already.
    So he said,
    Oh, my dear,I thought you were  new patient
    So I asked him if he needed glasses.He said
    Look here,I am the doctor not you.
    I apologised profusely and said it was just a way of showing  I cared.He smiled.
    Anyway I said,it’s my head doctor.It feels unstable.Is it going to drop off?
    Not literally,he replied.It’s all the upheaval  about Brexit.
    Brexit,what’s that? I asked politely.
    Why,surely you heard the News?
    No,I’ve stopped reading the paper and only get it because the newsagent is so kind.
    What about  the News,he enquired
    My TV is too small and I can’t be bothered to get a new one.
    Well,I’ve never heard of unstable heads before,he said.
    Now’s your big chance.If you study me you can write an article and be the  generator of a new disorder.Mind you,  if I recall the last 15 years of strife and war  in the Middle East  feeling the head is about to drop off is probably normal
    Well, keep it under your hat,he cried.We need patients who believe they are ill
    Maybe that’s my problem,I wear my hat under my head.
    That’s not a hat it’s a scarf, he informed me scientifically
    I’m afraid to wear it on my head in case people attack me in the street thinking I am a Muslim.
    Perhaps that explains your problems,he  chortled?
    I was born here because my mother was here
    Her folk fled from Co.Tyrone as Catholics were unpopular and had no vote etc
    To think,he said,you would not be here if Catholics had been given their rights 150 years ago, he mused.
    It’s a funny world,I said.None of us are here except by chance.
    God must love Probability.
    And so pray all of us.Ah,men!

Till you can sing and rejoice and delight

The  paragraph below  was written by the mystic Thomas Traherne.You  can see more here and also you can look in Wikipedia if you want some history.He wrote many poems which you can access through site like Poem Hunter

I love the idea of the sea flowing in our veins.

You never enjoy the world aright, till the Sea itself floweth in your veins, till you are clothed with the heavens, and crowned with the stars: and perceive yourself to be the sole heir of the whole world, and more than so, because men[sic] are in it who are every one sole heirs as well as you. Till you can sing and rejoice and delight in
God, as misers do in gold, and Kings in sceptres, you never enjoy the world.

Till your spirit filleth the whole world, and the stars are your jewels; till you are as familiar with the ways of God in all Ages as with your walk and table: till you are intimately acquainted with that shady nothing out of which the world was made: till you love men so as to desire their happiness, with a thirst equal to the zeal of your own: till you delight in God for being good to all: you never
enjoy the world.”
Thomas Traherne