Stan and Annie have amazing news

Emile is happpy

Stan and Annie have been having such a lovely time since Mary went off.Stan has quite given up his addiction to microfibre cloths and polishing the windows.He and Annie can now make love at night and go out for trips in the day time.
Emile’s diary is getting quite full although he is worried he may be banned from sleeping on the foot of the bed soon as he may be in their way.How will he know what they get up to?

Luckily there is a gap at the bottom of the door so he should be able to see them in the mirror opposite the bed.They usually light the bedside lamp so as to see into each other’s eyes.
~Annie is a very bold,confident woman.Despite being rather plumper than is medically advised she loves her body and lives happily in it now she has true love.
One morning Stan goes down to make some tea whilst

Annie comes to.

“Stan,come here quickly!”

“What’s wrong,my little lamb chop?”

“I feel sick!”

“Was it those old sausages we ate up last night?”

“No,it’s a different sort of sick!”

“You don’t mean………..?”

“Yes,Stan,I’m afraid a miracle has happened!”

“But you are 55 and I’m 90.Surely we can’t have a baby!”

“Well,the ways of God are strange.” she murmured.

“I don’t want to bring God into it.” he riposted.

“Are you not pleased we are still fertile?” she asked

him humorously.

“Well,in the abstract I might be but in the concrete it

could be awkward.” he said furtively

“What do you mean?”

“Well,Mary will be coming back in a couple of months,you

know”

“We don’t have to tell her you are the father.I could

pretend it was the new Vicar at St Andrew’s”

“But he’s gay!”

“Not many men are able to resist my charms and skills.”

“I can believe that,”Stan answered lubriciously.

“But will you have to seduce him soon before he notices

you are pregnant?”

“I wasn’t thinking of actually going to bed with

him,”said Annie with a smile.

“Oh,dear.I was looking forward to that,”Emile murmured

under his breath.

“That would have made my diary into a best seller.”

“Gay vicar seduces middle aged harlot who is now

expecting.”

It sounds a bit like the old Bible stories except they

had no vicars in those days.But miracles like older

women bearing children did happen so…who knows?

Stan and Annie got dressed and went into the kitchen.

They were both looking confused.

“You don’t want an abortion do you?” he enquired

tenderly.

“No way.” she replied softly.

I love you so much,I could not wish for more than to

bear your child.~”

“In that case,I’ll tell Mary.She is a very wise woman in

many ways,though a bit lacking in the earthjer side of

life.She has not slept with me for thirty years or

more.”

“Perhaps she thought you were too old?” said Annie.

“No,she never enjoyed it.She just put up with it as she

wanted a baby.”

“Maybe you did not turn her on!”

“I did my best,but she preferred reading Proust and

Wittgenstein.”

“I wonder of she has Asperger’s syndrome?”

“Well,they do find social life trying but I suppose she

can’t blame you for loving another?”

“No,she’s very broadminded.I’ll suggest we all move in

together.I’ll divorce her but she can have the big

bedroom and we’ll have the guest room with the en

suite.”

“I think this will be fun.”

“Well,not all of it but it will be intriguing,”

“So no need to seduce the Vicar,then?”

“We’ll leave him out of it.He might fall in love with

you and then what would happen?”

God only knows,”She answered humorously as she went

into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.

Read more about this next week or it may be too late!

 

Stan has a bug:light verses

 

 6819924_f1126074c2_m alteredStan woke up with a sore throat.

He had to write his wife a note.

He could not speak without much pain.

Oh,damn,he’s got a bug again!

Mary made him lemon tea.

He listened to the BBC.

He read the Guardian front to back,

Did Su doku,called the quack!

This is Dr Browne right here,

but only gurgles could he hear!

He drove straight round to visit Stan,

He felt concern for this old man!

Stan was lying in the hall.

Dr.Browne asked,Did you fall?

No,said Stan,I hate my bed.

I thought I’d lie down here instead.

It may be draughty,never mind.

Dr Browne is very kind.

What about this long settee?

It looks quite like a bed to me.

I hope you are not feeling gay!

Oh,my God.What did you say?

I mean it seems a trifle odd

To compare a sofa with a bed.

I wonder if you love me, Stan?

Stan said,Doctor you’re a man!

I only love the sweeter sex!

Dr Browne looked very vexed.

Doctor I never knew before.

You are gay.,Oh,zut alors!

Yes,but I am very chaste.

I never go below the waist.

So you just hold hands and kiss?

Yes,my man,it’s utter bliss.

But were do you meet your lovers gay?

I find them mainly on E-bay!

I place small adverts in the Times.

I joined a club for tasting wines.

Some I meet by chance alone.

Can’t you settle on just one?

I feel that lifestyle can’t go on.

But you are unfaithful to your wife?

You do not lead a saintly life!

Oh,Mary is not keen on sex,

She sits in bed and sends out texts.

Once our Lyra had been born,

She treated me with utter scorn!

Then I met my mistress Anne.

I went next door to ask for jam.

She came out and took me in.

Do you think that was a sin?

I’m not God, I do not judge.

He gave Stan‘s arm a little nudge.

Don’t you want a tiny hug?

Who knows,it may scare off that bug!

So Stan and Dr Browne embraced.

I assure you it was completely chaste.

Stan went off to make hot drinks

While Dr Browne admired his Quinks.

Do you use a fountain pen?

I use my Shaeffer now and then.

I got it when I went to college.

Through that pen has passed much knowledge.

But now my mind has gone quite blank.

I’d like to be completely frank.

Was my learning utter waste?

Not at all,it kept you chaste.

While you had your head in books,

It kept attention from your looks.

But now you’re empty,Je t’adore.

With that he made for Stan’s front door.

Stan was gobsmacked by this visit.

He called to Emile:Oh,what is it?

Even though I’m 93

All I meet want to love me!

The English are mainly very queer.

Oh,said Emile,Oh,dear,dear!

Goodbye,I say,goodbye.

 

Source: Kathryn
Source: Kathryn
Source: Kathryn
Source: Kathryn
 

Standing together,
We lean forward touching foreheads lightly
Eyes closed for a moment
Tenderly we respect
The other’s boundaries.
Yet I feel your heart beating too,
As it it were me.
We lean for a few more moments like this.
Wordless.
Holding the broken places,with love.
Then we turn and walk away
Such moments last forever
In the eternity that Love creates
Foreheads touching,
Skin to skin..
Boundaries of the inner and the outer
You are another;
A real human person
Wanting nothing;wanting everything
I shall remember your smile.
You were with me once
And now we go our ways
Our own difficult journeys.

One meeting of souls
Creates its own symbol

May you be blessed
May the fire not burn you
Nor the water drown you
May the Lord keep you always near him.
May He protect your spirit.
May he give you strength always.

Two love poems

 

Source: Kathryn

Some evenings,the sky turned pink
We were happy,lying in the grass
Watching the sun set.
Arms around each other.
Seemed like eternal life had come
Earlier than forecast.
Those weathermen are always wrong!
They need new training
In that timeless moment
In between two raindrops,
In between two tears.

Source: Kathryn
 
 

As I get nearer,

I feel your warmth.

Warmth draws me in.

Beloved.

I see you here,

touch you gently ,

my hand

on your face,

your skin.

At this boundary

of the world and you.

As we touch,

I feel

the peaceful breath.

The spirit,

the wholeness of the flesh.

touching gently

we acknowledge

the Otherness,

the holiness

of life itself.

In the form of the beloved.

My love.

 

My beloved.

Light touches

Skin soft yet firm

Divides yet unites;

Paradoxically elegant solutions

to these lyrical questions.

How lightly you touch me,

Yet I feel you so much.

In turn I touch you.

Life is a pattern of mutual grace;

we are all touched

By the light and the darkness.

Forgive us,O God,

For forgetting your face.

Sun piercing through red maple leaves

Patterns the flagstone path.

Hear how the blackbirds call,

As we wander,paradise is not for humans.

Though in the end,every living moment

Is paradise on this warm skin of our world,

as it spins again in the void:

And He said:

Let there be Light.

And there was light

We need to be mended

The wailing wall

The wailing wall

I shall try to explain,

but the world is not logical.

the bank notes are old and crinkling.

your face appears like it’s own negative

the wind glows and the sun howls.

why is the rain blue?

i wanted a new weapon but the rainbow was

too long,i need something small and portable,

like a pen i once had.

just a pencil and paper will be fine,

but please look round.

we’re all related in the DNA

but the fighting goes on for what?

does it matter my great grandfather was a Viking

who killed when necessary

or my grandmother sang in Gaelic

and swooned over dead children?

i can’t see but i hear their voices murmur.

a blue and a brown will go together

like harris tweed.

shall i give you some needles to patch yourself

before it’s too late?

i have long threads and connections for you,

if you will listen.

you don’t need the A to Z of London

in this world

it’s not relevant any more

to know exactly where you are,

just use the finger tips to feel the cave walls.

do we know whether to go back or forward

or even upside down?

trust the sense of bones and nerves

and the sea in our veins

linking us all

into a human ocean

all one.

Rainbows flew from his hands

You have come here gradually,

From the whirling chaos of the dreaming infant

anchored by the maternal hand to earth

To your present adult state

Do not try to fly back to heaven today.
Be patient;your guides will,with no effort,
Teach you the patterns and the dance.
All you need is to be open and to trust,
For you have a place in the world
We need your contribution.No-one else
Will see this world from your perspective.
And as you trust the chaos now,fear it not
Should it return.Every creative act
involves the breaking of these barriers
by which we keep the chairs and tables
anchored into themselves.The patterns may break up
But new ones are somewhere near.Patience
With this suffering is the only route now.
You cannot go back.Heaven comes only after
You have grown roots into this earth,
Grown sunward,and travailed the storms
And stinging blows;have grown your flowers and leaves
And let them fall.
Accept, The only way you can go
Is the earthly way.
You are part of us.
We love you.Our hands are reaching out
If you just lift your eyes.
In the Chaos,God danced and rainbows
Flew from his hands and tears fell from his eyes.
Those tears which fertilised the earth,
He wept, knowing of the pain to come;
And yet,he did not cease to dance

When my voice trembles

 

 

Source: Kathryn

S

When words no longer work

wonder

wish

want

When words won’t come

compensate

contrive

When my voice breaks

snaps

sunders

strains

When I want to talk

touch

tenderly

towards

But you are not able

about

abandoned

absent

You are no longer

listening

live

longing

When I need to find a meaning

In the shape

form

structure

But I ‘m stranded

Stuck

Sucked under

Swallowed

Then I reach out to you

I want your touch

tenderness

tranquillity

temerity

Sometimes words don’t seem enough

endless

empty

emotive

ejaculatory

Yet words can console

conjure

quilt

charm

captivate

cover.

Stretch out your hand

across the emptiness

and touch me with your fingers

friendship

faithfulness

forgiveness

frailty

fever

touch my heart with words

and I will hope

expect

await

be grateful

grave

garbed in joy

When words don’t feel enough

When all we want is touch

Or to see

sigh

sob

sing

Words can be shaped

changed

contorted

controlled

challenged

Words are all we have

To make us love

To make us live

To make us alive

To make us sing

To make us stand up

To console,words are

quite enough