Mid Sept blog 2012

  • I once had an email from a ghost.
    I was eating a piece of white toast.
    The message was clear.
    It said,”I am not here”.
    So I replied, “No need to boast.”

    Sometimes lost spirits like to joke.
    Or they want to give their old friends a poke.
    I leave them some food,
    So they will not brood.
    Then I see them float past my old oak.

    Have you ever seen the Spirit of love?
    I see it in the eyes of my dove.
    The dove is serene,
    As it eats a Mars Bar ice cream,
    As its mate circles mountains above.

    I feel distinctly unwell
    I am delirious,dear Dr Fell.
    I flapped round all night
    To the budgies delight.
    And my glands are all starting to swell.

    Do you find doctors are different these days?
    They are more like technicians in their ways
    They think we’re just lots of parts,
    Without feeling hearts.
    They don’t seem to hear what we say.

  • Our Father,dwelling in Heaven,

    Helloed and helloed be Thy Name.

    In Kingdom come, may Your Will be done

    As it was not at 9/11.

    Give us this day,no more Dread.

    Forgive us our Christmases,

    As we forgive those who Christmas with us.

    And lead us not into Devastation

    But deliver us great acceptance and kindness

    For Thine is the Wisdom,the Love and the Spirit,

    As ever was, and shall be.Amen

  • When I went to art class I read a few books/One of the best had sections written by working artists…
    The most useful tip was one used a glasses case to carry pencils in.
    Since then I have used those double sizes pencil cases are receptacle for all sorts of things.
    You can get all sorts and sized of cases.i got a large one with black and gold outer which can be used as a clutch bag and a soft one with a fastening that clicks.that’s good for carrying medication around should you need that
    Maybe one day I will draw again…it’s nicer with a oenci,

  • I keep my rings in a Bell.

    I keep my pearls in the oyster.

    I keep my cup in a cupcake.

    I keep my briefs in a brief case.

    I keep my jeans in a the Aegean sea.

    I keep my bras in a brasserie.

    I keep my tops in a top hat.

    I keep my coats in a coterie.

    I keep my vests in the bank vaults.

    I keep my slips in a file.

    I keep my mind in an alert.

    I keep my thoughts in my guts.

    I keep my guts in a postbox.

    I keep my posts in my blog.

    It’s a bit gutteral now.

    I keep my books in a suitcase,

    and my suits in the bookcase.

    I keep skirting round the main issue.

    I caught a cold— A tissue!

    m

  • I drink acids to test myself.

    Corn’s not much use to a bee.

    Reactions speak louder than birds.

    When my own heart was sore I soothed it with thoughts of yours.

    Ah, to be hung with jewels.

    She’s wearing dirty laundry again.

    It’s all spent,my purse gapes.

    All debts are rough.

    All lit up and nowhere to glow.

    She’s all fears..

    A ball for a scone, and a groan in the Mall.

    All brands on speck.

    He was,like,all hands to the rump.

    All shall break loose.

    It’ll fall on the way to the kirk

    I get low in blue times

    My route was all over the map.

    All the men wailed in unison.

    All talk and no inspection

    All that glitters is usually sold.

    Did you hear all that jazz?

    Do you fear the power he has?

    Call the nits in my fleeces.

    It’s all bums for a test.

    Did mother wear a vest?

    Lots of work and low pay, makes Jack a Union boy.

    All’s fair in love from afar.

    He has a rum sort of nest.

    He’s taken all the wines to test.

    My resolutions went West.

    I’ve got my brain packed in a witcase.

  • Life and love
    The brightness of late summer light,
    The songs of birds whose brood take flight.
    I love to take in these earthly pleasures,
    And so to fill my mind with treasures.

    The conversations with my friends,
    The closeness only death will end,
    To share my life with those who care,
    How could we have better fare?

    Those who suffer pain and grief,
    From whom love’s stolen by a thief,
    Let us take them to our hearts,
    So their healing path can start.

    Those who are fear friendship and love,
    Who set themselves at too low worth,
    Do they know how courage grows
    Through acceptance of our woes

    Life is tragic comedy.
    Love may be the remedy.
    Though if we give our hearts away
    We shall have grief and pain to pay.

    But if we lock our hearts up tight,
    And keep all feeling out of sight,
    We will wither like dead leaves,
    Of our whole life we’ll be bereaved.
    b

  • I saw you on the pavement
    with your old brown dog
    You were shabby,poor,ragged,
    Sat on your tartan rug.
    You had water for the dog,
    You hugged him and you sang,
    But the people walked on by,
    And no-one looked at you.
    No-one looked at you.

    But you still sang your song.
    And you sent me so much love
    It crossed from eye to eye.
    I felt it coming in.
    I heard that you had died,
    Though you were only thirty three.
    Only thirty three.

    I wonder,where’s your dog?

    I felt our souls had touched,
    You gave to me so much
    As I wandered in my grief
    Through the roads and round the streets.
    In your glance, you touched my heart.
    I felt love swimming through,
    From you right into me.

    Will you come again?
    I see all these dim, grey men
    Who cut your benefits
    To give more wealth to few;
    So that the needle’s eye,
    which is waiting when we die,
    is forgotten, for they want
    protection for their wealth.

    I wish that beggar man
    would come back here again.
    I liked to hear his songs
    But I can’t recall the tunes;
    Maybe I’ll write songs myself,
    That’s the highest sort of wealth
    Our creativity
    Is a path to dignity.

    Come back every one!
    I wish you had not gone.
    come back in my dreams
    and give me some new themes.
    I’m singing like you sung.
    it’s this world that’s so wrong.
    come back beggar man,
    I kne

  • My diary page 1

    Saturday September 15th 2012
    I was just reading an American blogger asking people to say why they blog.

    What made them begin and what did they get out of it.The interesting thing for me was that several said they’d tried to keep a written journal but did better with a blog..I wonder why that is..?

    On an open blog telling the whole world your most private life which is a journal of the traditional type could be a bit dodgy.One person had been attacked and followed for a year…by some crazy loon person..That’s the problem..people can seem pleasant and friendly on a blog but you only have their word for who they are in the real world.

    And of course we all change as time goes by and as we interact.One might become without knowing it. a different person.That could be good.Still for my secret life I’ll stick to my five year diary and use a code.Remember making up codes as a kid?

    What fun…well,make up your own code now.
    As an ex mathematician codes intrigues me.Are you watching “Bletchley”?

    Should I post my illicit doings,my sinful activities,my nasty ways?
    A photo of myself in a silk nightdress turned by Photoshop into a picture of a large hedgehog in its underwear?

    Or me topless, with Fermat’s last theorem tattooed on my bosom and a large veil over my face See how the cookie crumbles and how the mice run…..keep them off me…..I’m not even Royal.
    Meanwhile I have something to write in the margin…I think I have solved Gauss’s conjecture…he liked to write in the margins of books.Writing in the margin is something you can’t do when you keep your diary in a weblog like this..unless I could make it into an image and use Paint or Photoshop..It’s much easier with a pencil…

    So that’s a new problem….. can we have a margin on the side of our page here?Think about it.. let me know…is it possible?
    Without a margin life is not worth living..
    Well,must ewbank the hall and hang out the washing…bye for now

    ..

  • At the end of the day,

    it all boils down to

    what happens in that moment in time

    in that split second.

    I offer you my words of wisdom,

    Don’t delay… you don’t want to be

    A moment too soon or too late.

    We must listen to our hearts

    To find out our gut feelings,

    Trust your instincts

    And remember,it’s never too early or late,

    Or exactly the right moment,

    To start saving for a pension.

    At the end of the day,

    I hope you made your bed

    The way you wanted to lie in it..

    Though usually,love needs truth

    And lying is an art

    unlike survival and love;

    Though love is not all you need

    but love helps us roll along

    gathering a little moss.

    Ask not for whom the bell tolls,

    It tolls for thee,

    and me too.

    But when we sum it all up

    We can say,with hand on heart..

    we were just following orders

    Then the grieving will start.

  • The butterfly is like a flower
    which moves its station every hour.
    Oh,happy is he on the wing.
    The vision makes me quick to sing.
    The flower is open in the sun,
    And to its heart, true love shall come.
    The bees shall feast and fly replete
    With nectar they are now full sweet.
    I sing of colour and of love,
    Blessings that rain down from above.
    I wish to be a flower too.
    Ah,that the bee could but be you.

  • Our Father,Stars in Heaven,
    Spell out thy Great Name.
    Thy wisdom comes,
    And Angels’ sums
    Add up our human pain.
    Thy love is felt,
    Though we live in doubt
    About the human game.
    Give us delay
    On bankers pay;
    And forgive us our lackluster efforts,
    As we forgive those who lack humanity with us;
    And guide us into a Demonstration
    To make plain to the Nation
    The evil done to the Poor,
    The Disabled,the Mentally Ill,
    And their Carers.
    For Thine is the Trial
    At the Hour of the Bible Story
    We hope,but are nervous.Amen

  • Odysseus travels across the nuclear seas
    In his madness.Where are you dear stranger?
    I lost you to a computer,now I weave my web
    To tempt you home.Eastern zones where people scream
    In silence are not the place for your journey.
    Oh,timeless zone of wanderers,send him back.
    I love this green eyed stranger,this star angel
    From above.He shone like a crackling nuclear reactor
    As we walked along the edge of the world,
    Where the seven seas roar endlessly.
    Are you Hamlet’s ghost?
    Could Shakespeare write your tragic story?
    We have no stature now,leaning into the laptops,
    Talking into the air,like people trapped in hidden glass three dimensional ellipses
    We stare out,unseeing.We listen but hear nothing.
    Where are you,my stranger.The sea boils in anguish.
    I wait for you,the unseen,the unknown stranger.
    by

  • The cat was always looking away,
    though I called his name many times.
    He was caught by some vision
    Real or imagined
    In the distant grey green fields
    across which a tractor moved slowly,
    He was looking away,but he could see my reflection
    in the glass
    amidst the smears of life
    And he always knew
    That I was smiling.
    Like now.

  • About suffering they were never wrong,
    The Old Masters; how well, they understood
    Its human position; how it takes place
    While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along;
    How, when the aged are reverently, passionately waiting
    For the miraculous birth, there always must be
    Children who did not specially want it to happen, skating
    On a pond at the edge of the wood:
    They never forgot
    That even the dreadful martyrdom must run its course
    Anyhow in a corner, some untidy spot
    Where the dogs go on with their doggy life and the torturer’s horse
    Scratches its innocent behind on a tree.
    In Breughel’s Icarus, for instance: how everything turns away
    Quite leisurely from the disaster; the ploughman may
    Have heard the splash, the forsaken cry,
    But for him it was not an important failure; the sun shone
    As it had to on the white legs disappearing into the green
    Water; and the expensive delicate ship that must have seen
    Something amazing, a boy falling out of the sky,
    had somewhere to get to and sailed calmly on.

    For friends who read the private post,I think this is relevant.For certain people, the Crucifixion would have been simply a time when they had to supply the strong enough nails… that was their job and they did it,not for them to query the decision of Pontius Pilate.In those days tragically crucifixion was a common event in the Roman Empire.. think of the two thieves….imagine now if stealing carried such a sentence.
    Their suffering and thousands of others at the hands of the Romans,in the circus etc is not often thought about now.Not to mention the terrible destruction of the Temple and the wiping out of so many of the Jews… as bad as the Holocaust.

  • After summer’s sultry flowers,
    We get autumn showers.

    Winds that blow.
    Leaves that glow.
    Nature’s wealth is ours.

    Harvest grain and harvest corn.
    All our food from earth is born.

    Warmth of sun-
    Ripeness come-
    Fruits and nuts adorn.

    Trees are turning red and gold
    In the glancing sun.

    Leaning down I see your face.
    Autumn love has come.

  • Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it. ~David Star Jordan, The Philosophy of Despair

    Jewish life

    There’s big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.

  • I have a piece of apple wood
    I have my whittling knife.
    I want to make a gift for you,
    The best gift of your life.

    Apple wood is sweet and sound
    The tree grew here by me.
    I chose the best part I could find
    For the virtue of the tree.

    Apple wood is a rare gift
    We must make something whole,
    For if you touch my apple wood
    You can feel its soul.

    The sweetness of the fruit of love
    Is there within the wood.
    So all who touch the apple here
    Will be moved to good.

    What knowledge did the tree conceal
    That Eden was destroyed?
    Was this a good metaphor?
    Should it have been employed?

    Sweet apples fall at random now
    As autumn time has come.
    And many Newton’s, all unknown,
    Shall learn from every one

  • Einstein was struck by lightning in a very unreal sense.

    Bach did it the long way.He earned it.

    Brahms kindly wrote his own Requiem but did he make a Will?

    Elgar made concerted efforts to reach Nirvana….drugs r not us.

    Vaughn Williams conducted himself with great dignity right to the end

    Wagner blew up and burst like a balloon full of nothingness pricked by a thorn

    Shakespeare Ode Nothing.We owe him.

    The e

  • A very few words

    The color of the flowers

    touches my eyes

    more softly than a raindrop

    Yet with the intensity of the sun.

  • An old collage

    I would not put my own photo on in future. I got my watch in Argos!
    We only got Argos recently..
    So if I lose my watch I won’t worry.

    If you hate my handwriting do NOT email me at

    humor.me@warmwill.com

    ladygrey@catsloveme.com

    myfeelings@toomuch.com

    womaninarush@hailymaily.co.uk

    marymaid@catmail.com

    unlonelyheart@pendle.which.com

    bowl.tons@womencanbakehere.net

    cakesforyou@cookmail.tin

  • How to Unlock Pump Bottles
    By Nicole Gordon, eHow Contributor
    How to Unlock Pump Bottles thumbnail
    A good grip can help you unlock your bottle

    The pump bottle is a convenient alternative to the classic squeeze bottle. Allowing you to free up a hand or sterilize hands without worrying about dirtying the outside of the bottle, as you would with a squeeze bottle, the pump bottle is also often refillable, and you can use it for beauty products and home cleaning products alike. However, whenever you buy a new pump bottled product, getting it open can sometimes be tricky, as the pump bottle is shut tightly and often wrapped in plastic seal and requires unlocking its twist top prior to opening. Does this Spark an idea?
    Other People Are Reading

    How to Sterilize Medela Bottles
    How to Clean Medela Bottles

    Print this article

    Instructions

    1

    Wash and dry your hands to make sure they are clean and not greasy or slippery.
    2

    Grab the bottle with one hand, near the middle or the bottom, and place the other hand firmly on the top of the pump.
    3

    Twist the hand on top of the pump to the left so it turns the pump spout.
    4

    Twist the base of the bottle the opposite way as you are turning the pump. This will aid in opening the pump.
    5

    Twist the pump to the right and release your hand from the top of the pump. It should pop right up.

    Read more: How to Unlock Pump Bottles | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_7790307_unlock-pump-bottles.html#ixzz26kObYfHv

  • I expect you are awaiting the sight of my handwriting..obviously it will take longer than doing it here as I’ll have to copy a good version out…assuming i can write without a computer…it uses a different side of the brain I think.
    So,I’ll be back or I’ll post more flower photos.

  • The intensity of flowers

    The colour of the flowers

    touches my eyes

    more softly than a raindrop

    Yet with the intensity of the sun

  • Einstein flew away on a sunbeam.

    Heisenberg hesitated too long.

    Schrodinger got cat fever.

    Gauss was terminated.

    Newton kept sucking his pencil.

    Hooke was outlawed.

    Riemann was only human after all.

    Cats bite OK?

  • http://bigthink.com/marriage-30/some-things-that-are-supposed-to-make-us-happy-but-dont-and-vice-versa?page=all

    Flowers do it always for me.
    And a butterfly sweet. or a bee.
    A fresh slice of bread…
    And an old book well read..
    And when I open the door with my key

  • Picasso: Got gored by a bull.

    Monet:went dotty and fell into a deep bed of poppies.

    Cezanne:Ate the Big Apple.

    Henry Moore:Got trapped in the Underground.

    Michaelangelo:Fell of his ladder.

    Manet:got confused with Monet and fell of his chair.

    Kierkegaard:Trembled too much.

    Bertrand Russell:Got stuck in a layer cake.

    Pascal:His heart had too many reasons.

    Descartes:He stopped thinking one day.

    Plato:The cave entrance got blocked by spammers.

    Socrates:He tried to dial Ogg thrice and the phone box caved in.

    Wittgenstein:Became too late for his own good

  • Tomatoes ripen on the stem;
    Apples hang down low.
    Summer riches now and then.
    From seeds that once I sowed.

    Plant your seeds with care and grace.
    Nurture them with love.
    Put them in where you have space,
    As rain falls from above.

    Slowly, and in their own right time,
    They will manifest
    The form with which they were endowed.
    Richness comes at last.

    Time for sowing,time for birth
    Time for love of life.
    Time to scatter seeds abroad.
    Time

  • My life as an amused person
    As I muse about this life

    I think I need to get a wife.

    I’d like someone to exchange love

    and help me when I lose my glove!

    Why not get a man as well?

    Thus as a threesome we can dwell.

    The more the merrier is my thought.

    Just as long as we’re not caught.

    Is it illegal to share love?

    Well …..ask the Trinity above!

  • A story for cat lovers :Emile goes for a bike ride

    Stan had just got back to his lovely bright home from a ride on his old mountain bike.Emile had travailed in his special cat seat/basket just in front of Stan as he liked to see the road less traveled should it appear..and he liked purr to encourage Stanto ride further.

    When Stan got home to his luxuriously detached yet bijou dwelling he went to the wonderfully disappointing cloakroom to wash his paws before putting the kettle on for some tea.
    Ah,how peaceful it is here,he thought…,how nice Mary is still at work.
    Suddenly and alarmingly, the door bell rang.There,on the flower bedecked porch,stood a large, beautiful curly haired woman holding Emile in her pretty freckled arms
    I believe this is your cat,she said boldly.So he tells me.Why, he even knows the address.
    Well,if he’s anyone’s he’s mine,Stan admitted uneasily.
    What has he done now?
    Did you not notice he jumped out of his basket?she asked enquiringly.
    Well,no,Stan answered furtively..
    I was getting a bit tired and keen to get home…I forgot my water,
    Well,I hope you won’t let him do it again,he could end up absconding,
    By the way,I’m called Yvette.
    Are you Yvette Cooper,the MP,he enquired wildly.
    No, she said,I’m Yvette Hooper,the swan lover.
    Do come in for a cup of tea,he said caringly.
    I don’t mind if I do,she said,then I can be sure your cat is alright.
    Tell me,Stan said,Do you live with a swan?
    No,she said,though I do have an old Swan saucepan.
    A saucepan is not much company,Stan responded.
    Well,at least it never shouts at me!Yvette said quickly.
    Have you suffered verbal abuse? Stan said in a kind and supportive voice.
    I have yes.We had a mutual agreement that I could be handcuffed and verbally amused for 3 hours a week.you see we’d read this book,”Fifty shades of grey.”It’s all about human bondage
    But my boyfriend thought it was verbal abuse I wanted..As I was upside down I couldn’t tell him of his error.After that things were never the same.
    Why did you have the handcuffs?asked Stan calmly.
    We were given them for Xmas,she whispered.
    Also a whip and some rubber gloves.
    Why the rubber gloves?
    For washing up of course!
    But after being whipped would you feel like washing up?
    I don’t know.We split up before we even tried the whip… to be honest,I didn’t want to use it.
    Alright, my dear.I understand it all.
    Here you are.. drink a nice cup of tea and try these biscuits I made myself they are almond biscuits from my Penguin Jewish cookery book.
    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm,delicious,she cried.Are you Jewish,Stan?
    No,but why should they have all the best recipes?
    A good point… maybe because they had almost the first alphabet so began to write them down before anyone else could.
    Not to mention they invented monogamy,a great religion,Freud,Wittgenstein,Einstein,rhinestone
    .Give them an accolade. I mean,Jesus Christ!
    What more do they have to do to be rewarded?
    Ascend into heaven?
    Make more cheesecakes?
    I wonder,said Stan pondering slowly

    The back door opened and in ran Anne,Stan’s mistress.
    She was dressed in soft teal with toning turquoise trainers and she wore a light beige foundation with bright coral lipstick making a subtle contrast… all by Lamcom of China.
    Oh,Anne,have some tea.This is Yvette,she very kindly rescued Emile after he jumped off my bike.
    Don’t tell me he can ride a bike,Anne screamed,showing off a good set of teeth and a long red tongue.
    No,I was riding it.Stan told her sensibly.
    Hello Yvette,Anne said,where do you live?
    I live on the top road by the wood.Yvette answered politely, her auburn hair standing up in a mass off curls as she spoke,showing off to good effect her light orange lipstick and burnt sienna eye shadow…in fact it was color from her art materials..
    Have you been there long?Anne enquired politely and warmly.
    No,only a few weeks..we don’t know anyone..
    So you are married?
    Yes,my husband is in the Police Service… he cleans policemen for special occasions.
    I didn’t know anyone did that.Can’t they clean themselves?
    A self cleaning policeman…or how about putting coat of Teflon on them so they can be wiped with a wet cloth?
    It’s up to him,said Yvette.I am a lecturer at Pond’s End Polytechnic.I teach philosophy..
    In a poly?
    Yes,I have a D.Phil from Oxgridge in the philosophy of science with particular reference to Dirac’s remarks on Wittgensteim.
    Do they study such remarks in a poly?
    All the students do Philosophy of Science…it’s compulsory.
    Stan said,I wish they all did Peace Studies too…
    I know,said Yvette kindly..If only we could bring peace but we are descended from the most aggressive primates… why many of them were sado-masochists.Well some were sadists and the rest were masochists I gather.The ones who weren’t died out as they never mated..
    Well,I’m not a sadist,said Stan,or at least only to myself!
    Do you beat yourself up,the ladies asked.
    Just in my mind,he answered judiciously.So do I thought Yvette.
    Let’s have some more tea,called Anne from the hall,I’ll make it.
    Anne is my mistress,Stan boasted humbly……
    There was little point trying to seduce Yvette now Anne had met her and vice versa.
    Yvette was intrigued.That is rare ,for such an old man to have a mistress.
    Is a wife not sufficient for you?
    A wife is necessary but not sufficient,Stan teased her.
    Well,my husband has no mistress, she said unknowingly,
    but I have several boyfriends.
    How do you get the time?
    I have a rota,she chuckled happily.
    You seem an intriguing lady.May I have your email address,mobile number and your landline?
    Your height and weight too..clothes size and shoes too.
    Yes,it’s
    yvette999@hotmail.com
    or diracisme@qmail.com
    My phone number is Oh,oh,6666666666666.7777777777777777………………..
    That’s irrational,he informed her knowingly.
    Have you got an i Pad,she then asked boldly.
    No,I’ve not even got a Kindle..do you recommend them.Maybe you could come to ComputersRus with me on Saturday.
    No, she said,I’m Jewish.
    Are Jews not permitted to visit Computer shops..Some religious edict,is it? he said inquisitively.
    It’s the Sabbath,you dimwit,she responded.We don’t shop on the Sabbathbut don’t worry I’ll come on Monday with you..you are a charming man.I need as many as I can get.
    Why are you deficient in some way?Stan whispered.
    No,I’m very proficient and mildly conceited,she admitted modestly.
    And I like a good kisser.Are you a good kisser?
    Well,maybe you could give me a test,he said manfully,
    and if need be you can give me some lessons followed by a total Examination to see if I satisfy you.
    Just then Anne came in with fresh tea..
    Emile mewed loudly.
    What is it.Emile ? Stan asked.
    I am jealous because we cats can’t kiss.
    Well kissing is neither necessary nor sufficient in the art of love.Rolling about together in some soil is also very nice..
    I hope you don’t expect your wife to roll about in soil,said Yvette
    questioningly..
    Well,i can ask her,Stan said,but her main interest is topology and knitting.She is often very cold in bed…
    Can’t you warm her into life;Or buy an electric blanket?
    No,she’s hopeless because of a type of Asperger’s syndrome but I love her anyway.
    Have you tried a new technique like whipping each other or tying yourself to the bedposts.You can buy handcuffs now in Boots,I hear.
    Why some doctors prescribe them on the NHS nowadays
    I thought Love was enough, Stan answered
    It seems in the UK people are into whips and handcuffs…
    Well,count me out,said Stan,I’m more into a careful yet tender study of the skin from the toes right up to to head,followed by gazing into her eyes for ten minutes.
    Why ten minutes?asked Yvette.
    I can’t wait any longer…
    Well,you’ll have to practise..she said coyly.
    I can practise with him,said Anne virtuously.
    Yes,the more the better…he’s getting older so he can’t wait.
    He needs satisfaction as son as possible.
    The door bell rang,It was handsome Dave the paramedic.
    Hi,he said,I was worried as you’ve not called 999 today.I brought a leash and some whips.
    I’m Yvette,the woman said.
    I’m bisexual,he told her.
    That’s a strange name.
    Never mind that,give me your email address and phone number
    It’s ywoman@love4all.com,she said

    or 09964321.3333333333333333333…..
    If you’d like a non rational phone number email me at
    hotcats@hell.com

    Re

  • Enlightened by her nose he kissed her on the toes.

    We’ll be all right up this alley.

    Bring a bell when you come for tea.

    She rang my bell alright…I collapsed into a daymare.

    A rising tide gets down my nose.

    Is this the road less gravelled?

    Is this the road were I grovelled?

    I see this toad needs a hovel.

    I hear the growling of the mice.

    We roll in the red tarmac.

    Rolling through the dough makes the car rise up and get battered.

    Too many books give my husband wrath.

    Too many spooks make my husband laugh.

    Too many looks make my husband do maths.

    Too many hooks make anyone hurt.

  • Against drunk deriving

    by Kathswords Pro @ 2012-09-15 – 18:38:17

    Math and Alcohol don’t mix, so… PLEASE DON’T DRINK AND DERIVE

  • An infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar.
    The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint…
    “I understand”, says the bartender – and pours two pints

  • Here is an interesting website

    Is success earning money,becoming a good person,surviving…being happy…what?
    But I beieve the idea that you become what you think about most..
    so I have stopped thinking and just feel instead.
    May you feel well,feel hope,feel at home on this earth.
    Feel friendly,feel accepted,feel we are all part of the same whole.

    Oh,dear,Blessings on Saturday!Still it is the Sabbath…

  • Do you ever have a sense
    That there’s someone you’d like to meet?
    not a friend or a lover
    No,someone you sense…
    Inside or out…
    Like your breathing..
    That’s who you want to meet
    When you rest or sleep?
    Maybe it’s the self
    That grow your mind and body
    From a few cells..
    The intelligent feeling…
    Design.
    Do you ever have a feeling
    That someone wants to speak to you,
    But not in words?
    Do you ever feel someone wants to hold you
    But not in their arms?
    Yes,they want to hold you,help you breathe.
    Do you ever have a sense
    There’s more than we see through our eyes?
    Yes,do you have any sense?
    Do we have any sense?
    Sensing like a child walking through a fog
    The way home……
    Home,is where we come from
    And where we go to.
    Do you ever have a sensation
    Like hearing the laughter of children in a field of daisies?
    Like there’s mirth here and joy.
    And we can play….
    With the senses

  • A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.
    David Brinkley
    Read

  • Stan was sweeping the garden path.He had a stiff broom with a small head that was useful for cleaning the edges of the steps.Emile, his beautiful cat was sitting in the old apple tree gazing down on Stan.
    “Is it time for coffee yet,”Stan asked himself.He had forgotten to put on his watch.
    Suddenly he heard a shriek.He peered through a hole in the fence.His neighbor Annie was lying on her back in some mud.
    “Hang on,I’ll come round!” he called.
    There was a gate in the old fence which was rarely locked
    since Annie loved to drop in on Stan.
    “Oh,Annie,how are you feeling?” he asked her anxiously.
    “Bloody annoyed.I’ve only just bought these,”Not your daughter’s jeans” and now I’ve torn them,” she replied politely.
    “But you don’t have a daughter!” he informed her loudly.
    “I know that.It’s just they are better cut for the mature figure.”
    “Your figure is not mature.You are quite slender.my dear,” he murmured lovingly.
    “Well,I never feel happy with it!” she said mutinously.
    “Whereas I am very happy feeling it,” he responded romantically.
    Tears came into her green eyes lined with purple eye shadow.Alas,it was not waterproof and purple rivulets ran down her cheeks across the peach blusher with which she had valiantly decorated herself earlier.
    “Can you get up?” he asked tenderly.
    “Yes, but it would be nice if you picked me up.”
    He leaned over her and licked the purple streams of tears off her cheeks.
    “I hope it’s not poisonous,” she murmured.
    Then with the aid of Emile,he lifted her to her feet and helped her into her large trendy kitchen.
    The kettle switched itself on as they entered and a robotic voice asked if they’d like coffee.
    “God in heaven,what the hell is that?” he cried confusedly.
    “It’s my new computerized hot drink maker.After that fall I think a double espresso would be good.”
    Emile ran in and asked for coffee too.
    “Emile,you usually have milk,”Stan reminded him softly.
    “Well,coffee is a new taste for me but I like a little.”
    the cat whispered sweetly.
    “I’ll give you some of mine in a saucer,” Stan replied.
    Emile began to sob.
    “Why Emile,whatever is wrong?”
    “I want a cup and saucer just like you” the cat howled.
    But you have no hands,Emile,” Stan reminded him.
    The poor cat was crying loudly now.So Stan rang 999.
    “Can you please send the emergency ambulance round.the cat’s crying and all his hankies are in the wash.”#
    Soon Dave,the transvestite paramedic appeared.
    “I love your light teal kitchen,” he informed Annie,
    “And your eyes look like two deep pools in a coal mine.”
    She slapped his cheek naughtily.
    “Have a look at Emile” she ordered him sweetly.
    He turned to the cat who was sitting on the dark pine table.
    “Here,Emile,I got you some Kleenex for Cats in Sainsbury’s.” he said gaily.
    “I want a real hanky,”cried Emile.Dave took a clean hanky from his own pocket and dried the cats tears.
    “What made you cry.Are you feeling bad.”
    “Yes,I want to go to Cafe Nero,” Emile mioawed.
    “Who told you about that?”
    “Another cat down the road has been and he said it’s lovely for people watching.”
    “The town is not safe for cats like you,Emile.”
    Dave urbanely replied,
    “But when summer come I’ll take you to the out of town
    Marks and Spencer’s.They have a cat’s coffee corner upstairs.”
    “Wow,isn’t it amazing,”Stan wondered out loud.
    So Dave poured out the coffee and they all sat down and
    discussed Ray Monk’s Life of Wittgenstein.
    Ray has discovered that Wittgenstein liked cats but as he moved around quite a bit,he never owned his own cat
    though Elizabeth Anscombe let him play with her three cats now and then.
    We may all be different but most of us value the love of a good cat.Even boiling their hankies and ironing them is very nice.We all have this problem though.
    Where can a cat carry his own hanky?
    Do cats need shoulder bags?


  • The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.

    Michel de Montaigne (1533 – 1592)

  • The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.
    Eric Hoffer

    Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/sources.html#FcB0I3hGiehKceaU.99
    Photo1820

  • Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We
    do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence,
    but rather we have those because we have acted rightly.
    We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an
    act but a habit.

    Aristotle

  • Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone: it has to be made,
    like bread, remade all the time, made new

  • On Monday morning Stan had to go to the shops in the centre of town to buy some special easy threading needles for his visually-other wife Mary.Somehow,most puzzlingly,she had lost all of the eight packs he had bought for her in the last year.He had suggested letting his mistress next door do the hemming and stitching.But Mary was determined even though sometimes she took 14 minutes just to thread a needle.But she was very patient.One might almost say she was saintly but he did not want her to get conceited so he kept his thoughts to himself.
    Now what will I wear.Stan thought over-anxiously.
    He had OCD now and then.
    People no longer dress up to go down town instead they dress down to go up to the town,in a very real sense.
    The art of living is to choose the most simple solution to any problem and Stan recalled he only had some navy trousers,some white and a few colored shirts and one light teal colored jacket.
    He chose a coral colored shirt and looked in the mirror..
    I look wonderful, he thought very humbly.
    Why has God kept me so youthful?
    Surely not so I can seduce more women?
    We know God may be merciful to scissors,or is it sinners?
    Well,let’s just say God can be merciful but for some reason,we never know till it’s too late whether it’s to us.
    More haste,less speed,he conjectured.
    Or is it, More paste,guests feed?
    He stood in the hall combing his hair with a tortoiseshell comb and brushing it with a large nail brush
    He looked again at his image.
    His amber eyes glowed like neon lights on the main road to Knittingham in winter.
    His dark hair looked very full for his age.
    His teal jacket had been well pressed by the dry cleaner,
    Jacob Weissmann.
    And his coral shirt was new as Mary had been out buying him more clothes lately.She had grown tired of seeing him in one solid color,especially grey or brown.
    His navy trousers were a bit old but quite alright for Knittingham.
    As he gazed into the mirror he began to feel odd.Then he saw Emile
    who was standing on the chest of drawers behind him performing a dance.. solo!
    Why are you dancing,Emile? Stan asked politely.
    I am amused by seeing you gazing into the mirror for so long,
    If you don’t hurry it will be lunchtime before you get to the Needle Shop.
    Alright,growled Stan hoarsely.
    At least I don’t wear make up!
    Now there’s a thought…maybe I’d look better…what shade of foundation would suit me?Would I need lip balm and perfume?
    Hurry up,said Emile unkindly.
    More taste less greed.
    What does that mean?asked Stan.
    If you taste the food and eat slowly you will enjoy it more and thus need less.
    Very clever,Emile.Shall I buy you some cough sweets in the pet shop.
    No,I want some codeine linctus,Emile answered.
    I want to go high,high.
    I want to reach the sky.
    what will I do when my love is away
    Will I be happy on my own?
    Lend me your ear and I’ll sing you a song
    I’ll try not to sing out of tune!My God,Emile.Whatever has happened to you?
    I blame the old chalk and opium medicine someone spilled on my breakfast.
    Well,go and lie down but drink some milk first.At last Stan got out…it had taken him two hours to get ready
    At the bus stop there stood Anne their neighbor.
    Hi,Stan,where are you going.
    I’m buying sewing needles for Mary.
    I can lend her some,she shrieked.
    Well,she has to use special ones nowadays.
    Oh,so she does.I forget as she looks normal but is in fact suffering constant trouble since her Vitreous-vasectomy.. or was it hysterectomy or vivacity?.
    Well,never mind.You know she’s not normal.
    Who is normal?
    Let’s just assume we will recognize it when we see it,he whispered warningly.
    This bus is very late.I wish there was a proper seat here..my knees hurt.
    I hate this plastic seat.Why has the wooden one gone?
    Apparently the council are afraid of homeless people sleeping on them.
    Well,everybody is at risk of homelessness with this economic crisis,
    Anne shouted in a fury.
    No,beggars can’t be losers,he responded.
    Very true,she replied,
    As they have nothing so they can’t lose it.The more you have,the more you fear losing it.
    This bus is very,very late,I wish I had a horse or is it an horse?
    A goat would be o.k.Speed bonny goat like a word someone flung..
    Over the page to Fly.Anne burst out laughing so her face was as red as her coat from Artigiano.Her blue tights were a perfect contrast and also matched her lipstick.
    At last the bus came.They got on board and the driver called out,
    You both look very merry!
    Too many looks create more wrath,Stan replied warningly.
    Well, why dress up if you want no attention.the driver gloated.
    Hello,darling, he said to Anne,Are you free tonight,babe?
    Why? she murmured,I have two tickets for the Rolling Stones and no woman to take! he replied boastfully.
    Now,if it were the Rolling Bones,I might be interested.
    Your wish is my command he muttered,
    I have my smart phone here,I’ll see what’s one elsewhere.
    He kept trying but the virtual keyboard was playing up again.
    Eventually the passengers got annoyed and asked him to start the bus.
    As I’m half an hour late,I should be coming back now so I’ll do a U turn and go back to the terminus.
    But we want to go into town,every one howled.
    There’s many a blue word spoken as a jest,sang the driver.
    Stan said,Please open the door,we shall dismount here.
    Crikey,you don’t half talk posh,said the ,driver.
    He leaned over and gave Anne a French kiss.
    Now look here,Stan said,leave her alone.She’s my mistress.
    Cor blimey said the driver,who are you,King Henry the Eighth?
    I say,Stan,I can see Mary.It must be tea time.
    Stan ran into the house and put the kettle on..then he made a pot of tea.Hello! said Mary.
    Did you get my needles,Stan?
    I’m so sorry,Mary.I’ve had such a busy day,I never got into the town.
    And where is my supper.
    I’m afraid it’s still in the womb of time!
    I see,it’s chick pea dahl and brown rice again or egg on toast.
    But I’m not complaining.Keeping house is a big job.I know it only to well.
    So they sat with Anne and Emile,who even had his own cup and saucer now.They were weary and soon ,despite the tea, they were all fast asleep.

    copyright

  • I am copying this and pasting it..

    Living life in all its fierceness,
    Birth and death and joy and pain
    We struggle on our unknown journey,
    Sometimes lost and found again.

    We are indeed like lambs to slaughter
    Death will be our final goal.
    But while we live,let us live bravely.
    Let us not destroy our souls.

    Climbing in the hills and moorlands
    In the heather, children play.
    The sun half blinds me with its light
    Yet still I see the given way.

    I received a call to climb.
    These hills are my essential home.
    My vocation is to dwell here
    While in the silence,mind may roam.

    Noise in cities is destructive.
    Though nature’s fierce,it’s also true.
    Struggling on life’s craggy slopes
    I offer up my words to you.

  •  

    Crop a line into an infinity of dots…it takes forever and a way.

    I dropped the bucket.What lucket!

    Supper was benign.

    Whopping like flies on amphetamines.Have they got HDHD?

    I try drown my sorrows but they can swim too fast.

    I was as drunk as a Monk after a day of lasting abstinence.

    Fly with a Crone.
    .
    Good luck soup… boil a horse shoe in water with an onion and some cloves,then liquidise it

    Wuck!

    Plumb in a fox… it will wash you with its tail.

    It would come in the post if it was delayed.

    Numb as am iceberg’s stump.

    Dumber than a clump of shagged out spammers.

    More numerals than a box of clocks.

    Shall we go to the cru

    Such a feat.

    A witch’s treat.

    Twitchy feet.

    A bitch in the heat…

    and wild in the cold.

    Put my clox back now!

  • Insanely flung by chance into a brothel she worked her way out with a book,The Joy of Cookery.It was heavy enough to break the thickest windows.

    I wonder why windows don’t have brakes for hot weathe

    Sieve your breath for health.

    Pray for whom you bill.

    Today for your prayers read your Palms.

    Scared of the cows in a meadow?Then take the bull by the horns.He’ll show you the ropes.

    I am wiping the bottom of the barrel..I can’t sink much lower.

    Reason’s freezing

    A record busting wind blew as the herd wound slowly over me.where’s the coward?

    I see I’m I to me and thou to thee.If we just had one pronoun how .easy life would be…

    When a baby can see itself as me as well as I,it’s already moved out of its self centred viewing point and can see from another perspective…without going to school.


  • The Wild Swans at Coole

    Photo courtesy of Mike Flemming

    William Butler Yeats (1919)

    The trees are in their autumn beauty,
    The woodland paths are dry,
    Under the October twilight the water
    Mirrors a still sky;
    Upon the brimming water among the stones
    Are nine-and-fifty swans.

    The nineteenth autumn has come upon me
    Since I first made my count;
    I saw, before I had well finished,
    All suddenly mount
    And scatter wheeling in great broken rings
    Upon their clamorous wings.

    I have looked upon those brilliant creatures,
    And now my heart is sore.
    All’s changed since I, hearing at twilight,
    The first time on this shore,
    The bell-beat of their wings above my head,
    Trod with a lighter tread.

    Unwearied still, lover by lover,
    They paddle in the cold
    Companionable streams or climb the air;
    Their hearts have not grown old;
    Passion or conquest, wander where they will,
    Attend upon them still.

    But now they drift on the still water,
    Mysterious, beautiful;
    Among what rushes will they build,
    By what lake’s edge or pool
    Delight men’s eyes when I awake some day
    To find they have flown away?

  • We seldom realize, for example that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent, but which were given to us by our soc

September from BCUK

  • I’d like to lie beside you,
    so we’d be face to face..
    A sweet embrace..

    Eyes to eyes…
    I look at you
    Your face is always
    in my view

    Then I could take my fingers
    Across your brow,
    they linger….
    and trace the dear lines
    around your eyes.

    I’d like to touch your lips
    With my finger tips.

    I’d like to blow your nose
    On my handkerchief.
    I’d like to get inside
    Those powerful arms
    And rub your shoulders
    with a hot balm.

    I’d like to boil your hankies
    In a pan
    On a big coal fire..
    Though the coal fires are long gone.

    I’d like to rest my head
    Upon your chest
    And check the whiteness of your vest.
    I wonder if
    I should starch your shirts,
    For as they say
    Real loving hurts!

  • I was waiting for the ink to sigh.

    He was waiting for the ink to lie.

    I’m waiting for my pen to fill,I can’t write yet.

    Oh,I can’t write…I have to pick a lily.

    For what?

    To pay for England!

    Oh,I was waiting for the link to come by… but it was so fast it was absolutely hyper.

    She’s waiting for some misty petals.

    Or was it a new electric kettle?

    He was waiting for his mother’s views to falter.

    She was waiting for a whip to home in.

    He was waiting for your lips to come closer.

    I wake-up and yell,Whoopee!

    I crack up and shout,I see!

    I make up and I look like a bee.

    I wake up and need to pee.

    I believe above the storm a boiling kettle causes alarm.

    I had wake-up fall…….. the bed threw me out!It was tired of me.

    I’d love to wake-up on the wrong side of the bed… on top of you..

    I can talk about a mile wide…but how high?

    She walks softly and carries a big lipstick.

    I was practically talking as the eggs fell.

    It was a walled garden called Eden before the government interfered.

    The walls have ears in the hospital.If only the doctors listened how happy I would be


    Gradually

     

    You have come here gradually,
    from the whirling chaos of the dreaming infant,
    anchored by the maternal hand to earth
    to this strange place.

    Do not try to fly back to heaven today.
    Be patient;your guides will,with no effort,
    Teach you the patterns and the dance.
    All you need is to be open and to trust,
    For you have a place in the world.
    We need your contribution.No-one else
    will see this world from your perspective.

    And as you trust the chaos now,fear it not
    Should it return.Every creative act
    involves the breaking of these barriers
    by which we keep the chairs and tables
    anchored into themselves.The patterns may break up
    but new ones are somewhere near.Patience
    with this suffering is the only route now.

    You cannot go back.Heaven comes only after
    you have grown roots into this earth,
    grown sunward,and travailed the storms
    and stinging blows;
    have grown your flowers and leaves
    And let them fall.

    Accept.
    The only way you can go
    is the earthly way.
    You are part of us.
    We love you.
    Our hands are reaching out
    If you just lift your eyes.
    In the Chaos,God danced and rainbows
    Flew from his hands and tears fell from his eyes.
    Those tears which fertilised our earth.

    He wept, knowing of the pain to come;
    And yet,he did not cease to dance.

  •  

    I’m a thin skinned person
    On a thin skinned, spinning earth.
    We’re living on the surface,
    Creating more financial worth.

    My skin is getting thinner
    I am feeling far too much.
    My skin is very fragile,
    I may need to have it patched.

    The earth is full of danger
    But we build on it like fools.
    As if our skins would thicken
    If we covered them in jewels.

    Inside the earth are fires
    Which rage like infernos.
    But we build nuclear reactors
    In places we don’t know.

    We build our human cities
    As if we are in charge.
    Banks,shops,bridges growing,
    The built world has grown too large.

    The earth has a thinner skin on,
    But we don’t want to know.
    We just want our human cities
    To grow and grow and grow.

    My skin is getting thinner
    I feel life far too well.
    I don’t want to write poetry
    But I feel that I should tell.

    My skin is getting thinner
    I’m at one with Mother Earth
    She groans and labours loudly
    Like she is giving birth.

    Her skin is getting thinner
    Is it something she will shed?
    As adders are reborn
    When we think they are dead.

    But if we have too many cities
    The earth has no space to move.
    We’re like acne pustules dancing
    Without energy or love.

    The skin is getting thinner
    The world is going to split.
    And the energy released
    Is a fierce charge to transmit.

    We split the atom once
    And opened the abyss.
    But when we split the atom
    Who knew about all this?

    My skin is far too permeable
    I’m feeling too much pain.
    I want a thicker skin
    To survive on this terrain.

    The world groans and she labours
    And she destroys cities and trains.
    She’s giving birth to her own self
    As she struggles,works and strains.

    Her self is something fearsome,
    She is not civilised.
    When God spoke from the Burning Bush,
    We covered up our eyes.

    My skin is getting thinner
    I feel the heat again
    My skin is getting thinner
    I’m feeling too much pain.

  • Robert Frost

    Poetry

    Fire and Ice

    Some say the world will end in fire,
    Some say in ice.
    From what I’ve tasted of desire
    I hold with those who favor fire.
    But if it had to perish twice,
    I think I know enough of hate
    To know that for destruction ice
    Is also great
    And would suffice.


    Emile helps Stan and Annie to create a painting

    If you look carefully you will discern Emile’s foot prints.

    He is now swimming in some Fairy Liquid in the bath..

    He tells me it is a card for Annie’s birthday though she doesn’t know that.

    Will she like it?

  • His wit have been tried and found haunting.

    So I invited him to be my ghost.


    I saw you

     

    When I saw you waiting in that cafe
    I knew you would be mine.
    You were handsome, smiling,funny..you were specially designed.
    You looked like men I’d only dreamed about in all those years before.
    I’m so broke up,so broke up;you don’t love me anymore.

    I saw you on the station as I came from out the train.
    You wore an old green parka to protect you from the rain.
    I wanted to be one with you,to make a Love entire;
    But all you did was give me pain too bad be endured

    You walked away so quickly,I could not see you long.
    I wish I had a big guitar to draw you back with song.
    I looked at where you disappeared;what love has loss revealed?
    I wish I could just lay down on this floor and keep my face concealed.

    Railway stations sadden me, for I know we’ll never meet .
    I won’t cry more ,for tears are running almost to my feet.
    I walk fast looking straight ahead past that entrance gate,
    I pretend that you have missed your train,that work was running late.

    I count from one and one up to a thousand and many more–
    But I know for sure it’s far too late; you have closed that heavy door.
    You are hiding in a dungeon
    You are covered with white steel
    But I know you had a heart and you must surely feel.

    I lost all my illusions, and then I lost some more.
    I wish I could lay down and die,right here on this floor

  • An agitation of the air,
    A perturbation of the light
    Admonished me the unloved year
    Would turn on its hinge that night.

    I stood in the disenchanted field
    Amid the stubble and the stones,
    Amazed, while a small worm lisped to me
    The song of my marrow-bones.

    Blue poured into summer blue,
    A hawk broke from his cloudless tower,
    The roof of the silo blazed, and I knew
    That part of my life was over.

    Already the iron door of the north
    Clangs open: birds, leaves, snows
    Order their populations forth,
    And a cruel wind blows.


    Make sure Jesus gets no benefits!

     

    BOOKS FOR YOU

    Silent spite.

    Holy rite.

    Shepherds flocks.

    Vicars frocks.

    Three Wii Men.

    We three Kings of Haunting and War.

    A million children died,children of beloved renown.

    Will you Kings donate your crowns?

    Oh little drink of bed time cheer.

    When will Horlicks get up here?

    Faith of our Fathers,time for a rethink?

    the Vatican hotline’s on the blink.

    God test thee,holy gentlemen.

    Wait till Jesus comes again.

    Was Mary after a council flat?

    Oh,yes,Joseph mentioned that.

    God didn’t marry her, for if he had.

    He’d have had to buy her,her own pad.

    Fancy,Jesus is illegitimate.

    Make sure he gets no benefits
    .
    Oh,mother’s mind is in full spate.

    where will it all end at this rate?

    Why did God not want to wed?

    I don’t know,he never said.

    But someone told me he is dead.

    That’s just a rumour some nerd spread.

    God is still in us today.

    But something always blocks His say.


    A party?

     

    Stan was down on his hands and knees washing and scrubbing at the carpet with a new microfibre cloth and
    some shampoo for dry hair.He had a bucket of hot water beside him.Happy, as always, when cleaning and
    scrubbing he whistled “The lark ascending” for his cat Emile, whilst sipping at a big mug of lager.
    Mary was down in the town buying some new earrings to match her red dress from Phase 8 Sale.Their
    granddaughter Flora had also gone to town but she wanted a nose ring not an earring.As she was a girl it was
    mandatory in the UK.
    Suddenly,quite out of the blue,the doorbell rang.They always do don’t they.It was their Muslim neighbour
    Bert.”We’re going away in the caravan.”He boasted gruffly.”Anyroad,the cat ,Nelsonia Mandelinaah, doesn’t
    want to come.Would you be able enough to feed her over the weekend without any politically correct remarks
    being issued ,as it were?”
    ” Certainly” Stan responded jovially.”When are you off?”
    “Well we went last week but we need a weekend in bed to recover from seeing Brent Cross Shopping Centre
    in Kettlewell right next to the old Post Office.[Kettlewell,Yorkshire’s idyllic village]
    “Very strange”Stan said,”Mary was in it only yesterday ,she claims,in Knittingham spending all our minute
    joint pension on new dresses and shoes.”
    “I encounter women who have seen Brent Cross down the road all the time all over Britain.Still they’re
    entitled to believe what they want!
    ” “But what will the consequences be?”
    “Is there a flying Brent Cross?”
    “That sounds rather religious,” Bert answered quickly
    ,”Is it an augury?”
    “I’d say it’s an omen,myself”
    “But of what?”
    “The times we live in?
    “But what’s going to happen?”
    “God knows.”
    “Well,does he though?”Stan’s hot water had gone cold.In fact it was frozen.”The laws of physics seem very
    mutable” Stan wrote in his journal,
    “Also my spelling has deteriorated badly ssince I began drinking lager.
    Would whiskey be better?”
    Meanwhile,he had cleaned only one third of the carpet.
    He filled the bath with hot soapy water,stepped in fully clothed and then rolled himself around all over the
    carpet to pick up all the fluff.
    When Mary came in she was amazed,
    “What’s going on?”
    “You look as if you’ve been having an orgy on the floor!”
    An orgy was something unknown to Stan as yet.”Would you like one?” he murmured.”Yes,”said Mary
    childishly “Age has not beaten me yet!””Better have it soon before my knees get too bad!”So now Stan is
    cleaning the carpet again.It’s very soft and thick,just perfect!The list of invitees is posted on his blog.
    Well,he’s been told to do something new every week.An orgy this week,the marathon later!
    But why is Mary ringing 999?
    Does she want to invite Dave,the paramedic or is it more sinister than I can tell you?
    Yes,indeed,she wants to invite Alistair Campbell and Tony Blair but she’s not telling Stan!.He’ll be furious.In fact he might be tempted to slap someone but no,even these people have the right to life.And they did some good in Northern Ireland.But would you want them at an orgy?””Me neither!”


    The stranger

     

    Have you ever had a dream,
    That you were all alone?
    Have you lived with someone handsome,
    With a heart like a cold stone?

    Have you drowned in deep,cold rivers,
    And been lost in shadowed caves?
    Have you lived with too much fusion,
    Till you drowned in ghostly waves?

    The waves run down the sea shore,
    Then up they come once more.
    The tide turns and life alters..
    Deep on that ocean floor

    .
    You were so beautiful and silent,
    Like a sword without its sheath.
    I should have let you take me,
    The way you took away my breath


    Smoke

     

    If I go I won’t tell you.

    I’ll just disappear one day.

    Like when a cigarette ,which seemed so long,

    suddenly has become smaller

    and you never noticed it

    because you were talking

    about the meaning of life

    while life was somewhere else

    blown away with your smoke

    into the sky

    and then dispersed

    never quite visible again

    but still floating on the breeze

    hoping to be caught

    in a butterfly net

    but unable to communicate

    except by flying.

    If I go it will not be today

    but it will be an ordinary day

    no one will realise

    that it’s that day

    that the bird flies

    from her nest

    to go to a new place

    only seeing the deserted nest

    he realises,

    my bird has flown

    The music of silence

    by Kathswords Pro @ 2012-09-26 – 10:14:42

    Somehow,you were here.
    I didn’’t hear you coming,
    then I saw you were here.
    Happiness fills me.
    Standing in the garden
    looking at red leaves,
    I hold your hand gently,
    and share the sweetness
    of autumn leaves,
    the distant doves cooing,
    the sun dipping down to the horizon.
    Life is good today.
    We hear together
    the music
    of silence,


    Emile and the flu jab

     

    Stan realised it was time for Emile to have his annual flu jab.He stopped polishing the windows and picked up
    the phone.Hello,it’s Stan here.Can I make an appointment for Emile?
    Yes, come today if Emile has had a bath!
    Are you joking?
    Yes,the receptionist responded cheerfully.
    Actually he did have a bath and now can swim breatstroke!
    How amazing,she said sweetly.
    Stan got out Emile’s travelling basket.He put some copies of The Independent inside
    in case Emile was bored.
    Here,Emile,I’m taking you for a ride in the car.kindly step into your basket,
    Can’t I sit by you and wear a seat belt?
    I fear it’s illegal.
    OK,grandad,Emile answered jauntily.He climbed into the basjet and sat up staring out boldly with his great
    amber eyes.
    The doorbell rang.
    Hello,Annie,Would you like to come to the vet’s with us?
    She looked down at her violet velvet tracksuit and purple trainers with real gold laces.
    Yes,I’ll sit in the back with Emile.
    After ten minutes they arrived and parked the car under an elm tree.Stan carried the basket steadily not
    wanting the poor cat to fall in an undignified manner,Annie looked at her green nails.
    Do you like my nail varnish,Stan?
    To be honest,I prefer shell pink.
    Why is that,darling?
    It is more feminine!
    Feminine!But you can see I’m feminine!
    I like you to be even more feminine.
    Oh,yes ,agreed Emile,So do I.
    You men,she cried sweetly,never satisfied.
    I wouldn’t say that,my America,my Newfoundland!
    What’s up?Swallowed the dictionary.
    It’s a poem,actually.
    You’ve been reading again.It’s bad for you.
    Don’t you like to be my new found land?
    A bit late to ask now,she murmured seductively.
    Next moment they were in the empty waiting room.Then a man came in with a big black dog.Emile stared
    fiercely and the dog whimpered and lay down on the floor.
    The vet came out and asked Stan to bring Emile in.Emile gave a yell at the dog before Stan shut the
    door.So,said the beautiful young vet,how is pussy today.
    Emile remained silent.He’s fine,just needs his flu jab.muttered Stan.
    Come now,Emile come out of there.But Emile was clinging to his basket with ll his sharp claws.
    Are you afraid Emile?He asked kindly
    No,I’m not afraid,I’m just acting how vets expect cats to act.
    So Emile speaks English?
    He knows French too.
    Je t’aime Emile.
    Bedankt,madame.
    Stop showing off and get out of there,she doesn’t speak Dutch.
    Mein mutter wast immer krank,cried Emile.
    Get out now!
    Emile came out slowly and stood by this good lady.She looks a bit like Annie, he whispered.
    The vet took out a small needle and swiftly injected Emile.
    What a good boy,she sang,would you like a jelly baby?
    A jelly baby!Cats don’t eat jelly babies!
    Well, have a go!
    Emile stalked back to his basket,put on some glasses and began to read the editorial in The Independent.
    Stan was hoping to make a suggestive remark to the vet,but Annie came in.
    Hurry up,there’s a thunderstorm coming.Her nails were now pink.
    Did you change your nail varnish?
    No,the green was artificial nails!I took them off.
    Can I have some claw varnish.demanded Emile
    What colour?
    I fancy teal,Emile miaowed.
    Teal!How ludicrous!
    What about red?
    Too pretentious.
    I don’t think I’ll bother then,the cat said languidly
    We men don’t have to bother about such things.
    Well,you are lucky said Annie.
    I hate makeup and nail varnish,blow dries and manicures but I don’t feel feminine without it.
    You feel very feminine to me said Stan,running his hand softly along her forearm
    and patting her behind!
    Stan!Not here in the road!
    Why not?enquired Emile.It looks ideal to me if you go behind those bushes.
    Annie jumped into the car and drove away leaving Stan to carry Emile to the bus stop for a tedious journey
    home.Then she reappeared,opened the door and said,come on now
    let’s all go home.I’m sorry I drove away.I’m feeling a bit blue today.
    They got in and arrived safely home where Stan brewed a big pot of tea and let Annie sit on the sofa with her
    feet on cushion.He rubbed her head gently.Lovely,she purred.
    I like having my head stroked.So do I,said Emile loudly but alas they were too busy to hear or care.

  • I shall wail it today.

    I said a ball for the dogs!

    I hate someone re free market.More than one…

    I feel the hots.

    Oh,a cat can speak,can it

    A can of germs was bailed for £5,000 last night.Doctors said it would be happy in the fridge till being tried for manslaughter.

    You are so quaint I could eat you.

    I can’t fold a candle up.

    I can’t judge a look by the eyes alone.

    You can’t learn a psalm without understanding the words.

    I can’t pray enough for him

    i can’t teach an old dog to eat Weetabix


    I’m a pessimist but I’m ok

     

    I’m a pessimist and I’m ok
    I worry all night and I sleep all day.
    I do my shopping at 1 am
    Then I’m certain to meet some very naughty men.
    I’m a pessimist,it’s not a gay life,
    Especially if you have a watchful wife.
    I invent crossword puzzles for the Times.
    Then I write these cunning little rhymes.
    I am rich but I generally suffer panic.
    Either that or I get pissed and manic.
    I’m a pessimist and I love to laugh
    It makes women wet themselves,just like a bad cough!
    But we’re too fragile to worry about such issues,
    Just fill your handbags with plenty of thick tissues.
    I’m a pessimist,I’m neurotic and depressed.
    Will I feel better now that I have confessed?
    But I earn money by writing all night long;
    Then I lick my lover’s face with my bright red tongue.
    That is more than enough.THE EDITOR.
    No,it’s perfect.Just right.


    Word fun

     

    The Aliens have no Maps.

    A Map a Day keeps Words at Bay.

    Read a Map without eyes: Touch your Way to Happiness.

    I am a Map.

    I am a Door Map.

    Lonely and Mapless:Therapeutic advice from Angelic Geographers.

    The Map of Heaven.

    I see the Map but I have lost touch with Reality.

    Maps of Desire.

    Contour Lines for British Boys.

    Equilevel Curves for Latin Men.

    Isoquants for Greek lovers.

    Equilateral computers for geeks and their lovers.

    Triangles are ringing in my head.

    Where is the Path of Wrath?

    Isoquants for Greek Lovers.

  •  

    I had a little nutmeg and drank a glass of wine

    Then I fell asleep and dreamed I was divine.

    When I was awoken by my little cat.

    She was in the kitchen fighting with a rat.

    I made myself an omelette in a special pan..

    Eggs are full of protein so I ate up 21..

    Then I had some custard,I made it yesterday.

    Here is the policeman for the 60th time today

  • Unable to travel far

    I concentrate more closely

    On the flowers in my neighbours’ gardens

    In one small road

    One thousand jewels.

    I close my eyes

    To take in the scent

    Of the late roses.

    Of the late roses

  • The colour of the flowers

    touches my eyes

    more softly than a raindrop

    Yet with the intensity of the sun

  •  

    “Say what you mean, but don’t say it mean.”


    Not a poem

    He went off his huff and decided to laugh.

    Of its time..10000 years ago.

    Quaff these newts in ale.

    She stole a cough off the shelf.

    She stole the top of my head.

    You are off your blogger now…

    I feel a little old “miss you”

    Oh brother.I want mother.I feel so sad.Can I sleep on your iPad?

    Hello,God!

    Oh my blood is wetter than I expected…thanks to drinking tea all day long.

  •  

    Lyra’s a Bohemian girl
    She makes even dead men’s hair curl!
    She wears vintage skirts
    And old blue denim shirts.
    She has whopping golden earrings
    And black fishnet stockings.
    Lyra carries a black velvet tote
    Full of the latest poems she wrote.
    Lyra’s a Bohemian girl.
    She makes even her own hair curl.
    Lyra’s in love with an ancient Emperor,
    His unreality does not prevent her.
    She believes she is an Egyptian Queen
    She sees Mark Antony in her dreams.
    As she lies there covered in face cream,
    Her unconscious plans more wondrous schemes
    Which cause her psychoanalyst to despair.
    About a man who isn’t actually here.
    But the Emperor’s mad desire
    Has set Lyra’s Bohemian mind on fire.
    Desperate Freud got a bucket of cold water
    And threw it over this delirious daughter.
    He was,at the end,unable to maintain
    The distance and silence he claimed
    Was essential for a cure-
    What a torment to endure!
    Lyra made even Freud go crazy.
    She’s one real cool Bohemian lady.

  • I want silk and money.

    I am past the witch’s efforts.Her broomstick broke.

    This is the last Bazaar before the Day of Judgment,

    Taste, but don’t eat.

    I quaff beers with no limit

    I laughed all the day as we sank,

    Play down the law.

    I got laid by a bard in a fable

September 2012 THE FIRST FEW DAYS

 

  •  

    I was planning to make a carrot cake till my mother told me:

    Carrots don’t eat cake.

    What are carrots anyway? Why are they so picky?

    I have to eat all my food or I get punished by hunger pains.

    Are there worms inside me eating my food or biting me?

    Do worms have teeth?What is it they like about soil.

    Charles Darwin wrote a book about worms…

    So far I have not read it.

    Worms are the opposite of us.

    They never get angry or depressed as far as we can tell..

    How fortunate as to psychoanalyze a worm would be hard.

    Indeed could you tell a worm to lie on the sofa

    Or would you have to climb inside a plant pot next to the worm?

    As Wittgenstein might have said,

    If worms could speak we would not understand what they said.

    I don’t know,I think I can guess though…

    I have some experience …symbolically that is.

    Or is it metaphorically?

    Imagine a worm on your couch.

    Hmm,how are things going?

    Yurp,blurp!

    Well,that’s good.

    Werp,serp!

    Quite right,I am interfering with your transfernce.

    Hurpppppppp.

    Would you like a little soil?

    Mummmm

    Oh,dear…I should not have offered you anything.

    Daddddddd.

    Surely you don’t remember him?

    Herrrrrrrr.

    So your dad was a lady?

    Oh ,ahhh!

    Well,it takes all sorts.

    Glumb,glomb.

    I’m afraid your time is up.

    Tinnnnnggggggggg

    You want a minicab?

    Taaaaaaaaaaaaa.

    That’s £500

    Do you take plastic?

    No,only notes.

    Doh,ray,me

    I never knew worms could sing…

    Well,you do now.



  •  

    Tools

    The art of writing is to guess
    which tool will suit your hand the best.
    Know which muse will bring out joy
    as you new sentences employ.

    Writing brings up treasures deep,
    as do dreams whilst we’re asleep.
    Take such gold and use it well,
    If you have a heart to tell.

    Wisdom comes from sharing views;
    So point out critics to your Muse.

  • God looked

    God looks!

    Your name is on the dotted line.Design carefully.

    A garland of milkshakes?

    Wet a life.Drink more tea.

    Set a room on fire with humour.

    Can I get a word in edgewise?The third dimension.

    I get all worked up if I see a tin can.

    Let an earful pass by.

    Let me back up the horse before bedtime.Which disc is the right shape?That’s lucky1

    Steps cleaned free if you buy a gross of rubber gloves.

    I get crushed by cruel words.

    I let down my socks and he sucked my toe…I just have the one left after the cat bit them all off….I should be mad but I like cats eyes.

    Did you get a direct hit on the champagne?

    Frets lost at sea.Come back happy though wet.

    Set my messages to music?

    I’ll get off this piano now and let you rest con brio.

    Wet out your fear.Drink brandy now!

    Get the cat out of my hair now!

    How do you get over the hump and other sullen stories for children

    He said he’d get me a cook,not a book!

     

    Overheard or overread.

     

    Oh,hang me out to dry when the sun shines bright

    They hang on every word and then ignore it.
    .
    Why hanging your clothes up is bad for you.

    Do you wish to be as happy as a shark?read this.

    What flipping pancakes does for your wealth.

    What a hard way to alight from the human race.

    Cardboard headed men and how to love them.

    What made a bard stop composing and other tales and songs.

    X rays are hard to swallow

    Care waned her ideas.

    He has a leg up the chimney:How I caught Father Xmas

    Chaste makes waste so make haste.Lose your virginity on the train.

    Bat in hand he approached the thicket and was knocked out by a cricket.

    Hate rots.

    Do you have a spare cow?

    They have hearts but no heads.Put them to bed with no stead.

    And have a lovely heart attack every day with fat for all your meals.

    Have a precise day with a mathematician.Dots are us.

    I’ll have s hot at Schrodinger’s Equation when I have cooked this lemon sponge cake:How to wear a dress and do maths simultaneously.
    For complete beginners.All equations provided free on the MHS

  • Some days are days for losing
    Diaries,letters,lovers.
    Some days are days for losing
    Fathers,money,mothers.Some days are days for finding
    Mobile phones and patience.
    Some days are days for finding
    New friends and old relations.Some days I feel at sea for hours,
    Some days I feel so lost.
    Some days I know that life’s worthwhile
    Whatever the emotional cost.

    Days are special units
    In the journey we call life.
    Days are short so don’t waste time
    In needless haste or strife.

  • I am able I am assembled
    I aim able.To kill Abel.
    I blame Abel,I.
    Am I emblematic
    Of blame?
    Abel,am I to blame?
    At home,I am
    Unable to tell.
    A lamb is an emblem.
    I am unable to help Abel.
    Help me ,Abel,are you able?
    My name is unable to be,
    I mean I am unnameable.
    I am Abel,I am an object
    Of fraternal hate.
    Love was unable
    to be,to embrace. Enmity and time
    Beat me.Killed me.
    Dead.
    They aim to disable,
    A lamb dies.Call him
    Abel.
    I am bereft, for hate
    Was able
    To destroy amiability.

    I aimed hate at my brother, Abel.
    Hate will be unable in the
    End to win.

    I miss you, Abel.
    My brother.
    I miserable,Abel.
    I am unable ,Abel,
    To live,to love.
    Abel,I bad.
    No balm,no love,
    I unable.
    I un…
    Un,undone.
    Oh, Abel.
    I bereaved myself,
    Unable,
    blind.
    I lost,ability,
    Love.
    I live not.Yet
    Not able
    To die.
    Unabled
    Undone.
    Done for

     

    Ambivalence

    b

    I wrote this exactly 2 years ago.

    I am so deeply cynical about you,
    I am full of love,hateful but true.
    But you don’t even email me.
    You hold so negatively
    To Hawking’s view
    About quantum field theory.
    You are up the South Pole,
    You swallowed his theory whole.
    I am lost in the Northern Lights.
    I even miss those fights.
    I hope a white polar bear
    will drag me to it’s lair,
    Then I shan’t have to think any more
    About Paul Dirac and Tony Blair.
    If I’m so caring towards you,
    Can’t you love a little too?
    I’ll accept String theory,
    If it means so much to you.
    I wish the square root of three
    Less irrational could be,
    Because you are irrational enough for me,
    Especially when you miss your tea
    Your blood sugar is too low
    you are diabetic you know!
    Oh, don’t leave me again
    Not now just when
    I have at last understood,
    I too am flesh and blood.
    I’ll do anything to win
    Your affection again.
    I can learn any branch of topology
    Or Aquinas’ difficult theology.
    I’ll even learn how to fly,
    And take you up in the sky.
    Why can’t we try?
    Is my life a black lie?
    I’ll do all that I can
    If you’ll believe I’m your woman.
    This could be the Garden of Eden
    But you are leaving me grieving.
    We could start a family
    If you were not so cynically,
    Pressing all the wrong keys.
    Oh,do love me please!
    Hate me too if you like;
    Ambivalence is alright
    Especially at night,
    When the full moon is bright.
    What a special sight—
    When we switch off the light.
    I shall get permission
    For nuclear fusion;
    But if it’s fission you lack,
    Who am I to hold you back?
    We’ll go up with a scream,
    That’s all my whole life has been.

  • Is blogging a genetic trait?
    I’d like to buy new genes today.
    My parents never owned
    A word processor or a phone.
    So it’s their fault I lack a blog gene today

  • He had a solitary cold so then he caught flu to make it happy.

    I was suffering from being single then someone gave an aitch and now I suffer from shingles…which takes my mind off everything else.

    I looked at my mirror image and she looked at me.What choice did we have?

    If you break a mirror it brings bad luck… so I robbed the Bank and went to jail rather than wait…

    Have you ever been in love?It’s a bit like heroin but you can’t buy it
    in the street…but you can catch it all over the place.
    just keep smiling and someone will love you.The question is,
    Will you love them?
    Wait and see.

    I got bitten by a gnat so I ate it!Served it right… in a bowl of yoghurt.

  •  

    Freed from her trap
    Bird soared into air,and hovered,
    And floated, resting;
    And flew higher, singing as she flew,
    And higher again,
    Till there was only her song,
    Left in the silence,
    Trembling.

    Up on the wide,stump topped hill,
    I felt the lark inside my heart
    And heard her singing.
    And flying up with her,
    I saw gold sun and silver moon,
    Moors of heather ,and sheep grazing,
    Green hills,
    And shimmering lakes,
    Clouds,sun and sky in watery mirrors.
    And sang,and dipped,and dropped,
    And curled
    Up the blue
    Bright heaven,and rested
    On the wind.
    All that day
    I was a lark singing.

    I shall always have a vision of
    A bird
    That flew upwards,
    Rejoicing and free
    Into a deep blue sky, and high
    And higher
    Beyond high
    Into a place, beyond eye even,
    But music still sending.

    I wish I were back on that heathery moor,
    With the nibbling sheep and the bees sweetly humming,
    Hearing again
    The poignant song
    Of the skylark;
    A prisoner,freed by a magician,
    From her trap,
    So happy to be free,
    So wonderful to see.

    Do it again for me.

     

    Hot summer day

     

    Hot day, sun gleams in points of light
    On leaves of coppery shrub, burns through
    Clouds of exhaust fumes over the city,
    No air, my throat is dry and sore.
    Summer was not once this haze of poisons.
    And dying Japanese maples and yet how beautiful
    Sun shining through the leaves of the sycamore
    And touching the holly leaves with a glow like Christmas decorations.
    Silence except the doves cooing far away,
    And occasional conversation from the hedge sparrows.
    Just to lie in a field of poppies would be happiness.
    To climbthe green hill and gaze down a dale,
    Or to follow sheep by drystone walls edge
    To river with stepping stones in brown water.
    Oh, world! Oh world of mine,
    Given to me by my eyes opening
    Beauty, silence, peace.
    Green garlands shall decorate my heart.
    And poppies dance across my dreams.
    And forgive us our exhaust fumes,
    And take away the smog from our hearts,
    And let us be.

     

    title-14678021

     

    Anxiety is the price of life,
    But don’t pay too much.
    Calmness is good at most times.
    Dread is a bad friend.
    Exploring nature soothes the soul,
    For what are we but part of it?
    Gentle music helps the mind
    Hearing this is a kindness to oneself.
    Ink is the friend of the writer.
    Judgment is another one.
    Kindness is essential to the good life.
    Lessons are available daily.
    Money is necessary but not sufficient for happiness.
    Needs are simpler then we imagine.
    Oxygen is good for the brain.
    Prayer is good for the mind.
    Quality is hard to judge quickly.
    Rest is often a good idea.
    Tension inhibits ideas.
    Work should involve play.
    X- rated films are optional
    You are a valuable person.

  •  

    DOCTOR LAMB

    We once had a doctor called Lamb,

    Who was inundated with a barrage of Spam.

    He got a computer expert,

    But alas this man jinxed it.

    And now it gets nothing but Ham!
    .

  • Summer again

     

     

     

     

     

    Green leaves,in sun,in shadow,
    Green leaves my heart is waiting for you,
    Early sun has danced on you all day,
    The air and earth conspire in joyous play.

    Green leaves come out in spring time
    Blossom cascades in generous gleams.
    Green leaves,so many tints and shades,
    Decorate so well my garden’s open space.

    Green leaves,my heart is moving with you.
    Green leaves,I love this golden time.
    The sun and breeze upon my skin…..

     

     

  • Good evening,everyone.This is a short transcript of a quick date from

    “Quick Dates for Busy People “……………. Q.D.B.P. for short.

    where people meet for a few minutes to assess their potential partners

     

    “Just because a sentence is grammatically correct doesn’t imply that it means something.” John remarked fondly as he caressed his date’s hands and admired her striped nail varnish,
    “Yes,quite right.And conversely a sentence can mean something even when it’s not grammatically correct.”
    Susanne replied warmly whilst simultaneously trying to kiss the nape of his neck.
    That got their date off to a flying start and no-one has seen either of them since…………..
    We said we set up Quick Dates but Flying Mates were not on the agenda
    If you hear two people discussing the meaning of words whilst kissing and hugging please inform me at once as they did not pay their fee.

     

  • This is a very early work as is obvious.

    Tell me where you keep your love.
    Would you like some thermal gloves?
    Do you love this snow white dove?
    Oh,tell me tell me,tell me.

    Is your love in a jam jar?
    Is it where those wasps gather?
    Will heaven above be very far?
    Oh,tell me,tell me,tell me.

    If I kiss you will you mind?
    How was human kind designed?
    Has pure loving been defined?
    Oh,tell me,tell me,tell me.

    Have you seen Will o’ the Wisp.?
    Has your ear never been kissed?
    Would you like me to desist?
    Oh,tell me,tell me,tell me!

    Will you be my lover true?
    What will all the others do?
    Stick to me like UHU!
    Oh,tell me,tell me,tell me

  • Happiness

    All happiness or unhappiness solely depends upon the quality of the object to which we are attached by love.

    Baruch Spinoza
    Read more: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/baruchspin387349.html#ixzz1oViL02vO

    I

  • Stan was wearing his best suit,topped by a denim apron, and wad polishing the big windows with a microfibre cloth ,as
    he waited breathlessly for his stunning wife.Mary entered the room wearing a long purple and mauve dress which clung somewhat tightly to the curvaceous contours of her beautifully rounded body.
    On her feet she had some smart pewter ballet slippers and in her elegant hand she carried a huge pewter clutch bag which contained some of her many medications.She addressed Stan,
    “I think I can leave my handbag behind if I put my mouth spray into my bra.”
    “That somehow detracts from the romance of the evening.” Stan pronounced openly.
    “Well,you know,I never had a cleavage until lately and I fell I ought to make the most of it.”
    “Surely I should be the one make the most of it,” he riposted jocosely.
    “Of course you may,my angel,but not in the restaurant,”she answered back sweetly
    “I’ll put your spray in my pocket then,shall I?”Suddenly the doorbell rang.”Who’s this?”It was Annie,their next door neighbour.
    She was wearing a coral velvet track suit with matching Reeboks and sun hat.
    “Hi,I just came in with a little prezzie,”She declaimed.In
    her hand was a huge box of chocolates.
    “Gosh,Mary you look lovely in that beautiful long dress but you’re not
    going on your bike,are you?”
    “No,we are having a cab,but it’s not come as yet.”
    “Well,never mind.I’ll ring 999 and get them to send an emergency ambulance for you!”
    Fortunately,as luck would have it the minicab appeared and it was only as they were entering the restaurant that Stan realised he was still wearing his old denim apron.
    “Shall I take it off?” he pondered.
    On the pro side I will look smarter on the con side I might spill some soup down my front.I wish I’d done more logic at college.
    So he kept it on.Mary didn’t seem to notice.She just took him for granted.If he stood on his head and sang”Jerusalem” she probably wouldn’t pay any attention.
    Then he noticed that Mary was wearing an apron too.It was the same colour as her dress.What a brilliant idea,he thought.
    “There may be money in this.” He could start a small business,
    “Aprons R You” selling lovely aprons in all colours of the rainbow.
    Suddenly he heard noises;he awoke and heard Mary shouting
    “How can you go to sleep when you are out with me?”
    “Would you prefer me to recite the Periodic Table?” he snapped gently.
    “I’d prefer a poem,” she cried…All right,Petal,I’ll think of one soon.In the meantime would you like a fool?”
    “No.I’ve got you,” she responded handsomely.
    “I mean for a pudding?”
    “Oh,yes please.A Rubik fool would be lovely.It will pass the time.You know I get so bored.”
    “Well,I do my best but it’s hard keeping up with you.would you like to read a few truth tables whilst I finish?
    my meat.”
    He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small leather bound book.
    “Truth tables and levitation for geniuses,” by Bertha Russell.
    “Oh,Stan,this looks interesting.I’ve always wanted to fly like an angel or an owl.”
    “It’s never too late to say never.” he responded.
    “Whatever do you mean?”
    “I don’t know.Just because a sentence is grammatically correct doesn’t imply that it means something.”
    “Yes,quite right.And conversely a sentence can mean something even when it’s not grammatically correct.””Isn’t thinking exciting!”
    “Yes,indeed.I was thinking how exciting it will be to go to bed with you.”
    “Wow,good grammar and full of meaning.I am yours.I am like a ripe plum ready to drop off the tree.I am a cat ready to mate.I am a song waiting to be sung.”
    “Gosh,are metaphors your bete noir?”
    “Je ne parle pas Francais.”
    “Aimez vous ein Nederlander?”
    “Sprechen sie Deutsche?”
    Ist sein mutter immer krank?”

     

    My old sonnet

     

    When yet another lover flees my bed
    and leaves me cold and lonely in the night,
    I wonder if it’s unkind words I’ve said,
    Or is it that my eyes have lost their light?

    I lure them in with all my female arts.
    They feel I’m like a spider with a trap.
    to lure ,devour,digest my foolish guests,
    They think there should be warnings on the map,

    But some who find me feel they have been blessed.
    I give them my attention and desire
    I give them gentle care and sing sweet songs.
    I give them comfort like a winter fire

    Oh,come back ,sweet one,don’t desert me yet,
    The clothes I washed for you are still quite wet.

  •  

    I let my thoughts play in my mind,

    And to living beings I’m kind.

    But what is real and what is not?

    I think I have forgot!

    So I live in a strange,old world,

    with fantasy and love entwirled.

    But I am happy,I am sad;

    And,always,I am glad.

  • Emile’s diary:why do humans have lips?

     

    I’m sitting under the coffee table.By rights I should be given some cafe au lait in a traditional French style wide cup with a silver brim plus a matching saucer.I am shocked that Stan has never asked me to partake.I need a coffee break..it’s hard work spying all day!
    I heard Anne talking on her mobile while Stan was looking for the graph paper.She must be talking to another woman…. she said she’s just bought some Revlon primer lotion to put under her light beige mousse foundation.
    Ye Gods,it sounds as if she’s painting the wall.She was moaning she can’t afford Lancome any more.Mousse foundation..that sounds tasty!
    She wants some heather coloured lipstick but she couldn’t find any.She’s put a new one on anyway and Stan came in to give his opinion:
    Congratulations,Anne.You have found lipstick that’s exactly the same colour as your own lips.
    She was mortified.I could see tears in her eyes but luckily she had her waterproof mascara and purple
    eyeshadow on.
    Well,it makes me glad to be a cat…we have no need for skin products
    and we have no lips as such.
    Why do humans have lips?Is it mainly for kissing?
    And perfume………we like the natural odours but I’ve never seen Stan go up and sniff Anne’s nether
    regions…though I admit I took a sniff and she smells very intriguing… probably some musk she’s bought.

    I envy Stan in a way.Because I’d like to kiss Anne but my lips are too small….I could lick them with my little raspy tongue!
    Well,must go and take a walk around my territory and sniff out who’s about….face primer.What next.Paint?
    stripper

  • Bite me.Write me.Knight me.Writer’s block………….. a place where writers were beheaded in the past.

    Writer’s block……………..a block of flats occupied by writers.

    Writer’s block…………..something stopping one from connecting to one’s Muse.

    Writer’s block………………soap for removing ink from the hands

    Writer’s knock…………………when a writer’s heart thumps too much whilst they’re working

    Writer’s clock………………The clock seems to have turned faster than usual so you are still writing at 3 am

    Writer’s clock………… The clock seems to have turned faster than usual and you find you are still writing at
    age seventy. {By kind permission of Shimon Zevi]

    Writer’s dock…………..a place for parking writers.

    Writer’s dock……………A place for writers to stand whilst being tried in court for plagiarism etc

    Writers’ flock……………….. A gathering of writers.

    Writers’ mockery…………A place in a magazine where we can mock writers we hate.

    Writer’s shock……………What a writer gets on first publishing a work to the public.

    Writer’s luck……………………..When the muse comes out early and stays late.

    Writer’s muck………………..All the stuff in the black of the mind.

    Writer’s knock…………………..A pain in the chest from over zealously working too hard

    Writer’s frock……………. A dress once worn by a famous female writer.

    Writer’s lock…………………… Some hair I stole from a writer for my collection.

    Writer’s crock……………….. a bowl used by a writer to eat cereal from.

    Writer’s duck…………………When you write all day and it’s utterly useless to man or beast.Like a duck in cricket

    Writer’s truck……………a vehicle for an over prolific writer to carry their writing in.

    Writer’s suck……………..An occasional reaction to post modernist writing by a “normal” human being.

  • The best cure for sad seems to be..
    To go into the garden for tea.
    Then as you sit quiet,
    Your butterfly will alight.
    All you need to do is to see.
    .
    Tranquility is needed each day,
    If we are to become who we may.
    So breathing is calm
    And fresh air is a balm.
    Hyperventilate no more,but please play!.

    Your “garden” may consist of just weeds.
    But at least they have grown from their own seeds.
    So contemplate now,
    And I think that,somehow,
    Your heart will receive just what it needs

  •  

    Even in a single moment one can receive love
    From the smile of a stranger passing by;
    Why should love not be short
    Like a grass blade,
    Or tiny like a grain of sand?
    Dante only saw Beatrice once,
    But it sustained his life for ever.
    That’s worth dwelling on.
    Share.

  • Sorry,I am unable to answer the phone.
    My voice is on strike.
    My husband has to keep his eye on the clock today.
    My sister’s glued to the television.
    While my brothers have been at loggerheads for some time.

    My daughter has to keep a weather eye on her fiancee,
    And my granddaughter has been entranced by “The Magic Flute.”
    The cat is having kittens.
    The dog is chasing his tail.
    I’ve got my finger on the button
    And my hand in the till.

    My feet have gone to sleep.
    My head is coming unscrewed,
    And my mind is on higher things.
    Where my brain is is under investigation
    And I hope to be reunited with it soon
    But they can’t be absolutely certain it will reconnect.

    My spirits have been in the doldrums
    But I have some whiskey in the cupboard.
    My career spanned the heights and the depths,
    Though not of love
    as God would recognize it,
    In a very real sense.
    You must rest assured I care about you
    Though I do not feel able to converse, owing to invasion by viruses.
    Now there’s just a few minutes before I go for broke again
    Please leave a message after the pips.

  • I like to have my eye on you so don’t move in case it rolls off.

    I keep a frown in the cupboard for the cat’s mother.She was a Chesire cat,you see.The smile is painful.

    She keeps someone at bay…..her husband… and everybody else’s too.Is she anti-men or anti humans?

    Keep you fingers lost please.

    I keep a grin on my pillow all night.

    Live with your eyes open for signs of humour or wisdom.

    Can keep your hair on in hospital nowadays?They love to shave one I found…is it because nursing is now a graduate profession or are they stuffing pillows for Charity?

    Do you keep your toes on your feet still?

    How can we keep up with our loans?

    Do you fear lying?Please be honest with me.

  •  

    Dr Smith was a lucky man.
    He had a wife called Mary Anne.
    He gave her children twenty two.
    How ever did this woman do?

    She had many helping hands
    To take her children on the sands.
    They swam in batches in the sea.
    And then she took them home for tea.

    She had triplets,she had twins.
    She even had one set of quins.
    So loneliness was quite unknown.
    And all were trained to use the phone.

    She was a very sturdy wife.
    She worked hard most of her life.
    But once a week she went to town
    And looked at bags and evening gowns.

    But Dr Smith did not go out.
    He was in his surgery ,no doubt.
    At night they went to bed and loved
    Just like a pair of turtle doves.

    In the morning she rose up
    And made some tea in a big cup.
    She had a tiny chunk of time.
    For such a one,this is no crime.

    We all need a peaceful break,
    To sit by our own inner lake.
    To see the fish and watch the sun
    As gold and glowing up it comes.

    So if you have many children too,
    Take heart from this small tale.
    She took her time to meditate…
    And her heart never failed.

    For men may come and men may go,
    and likewise children too.
    You need to have some free “me time.”
    Whatever else you do.

  • Better wait for a letter than go without a word.;

    Nothing lying, nothing feigned.In that way you’ll cause less pain

    Better a woe than a worry or perhaps not.

    Seek and find your right mind.

    There’s no such thing as a female hunch.

    The best things in life are me and thee.

    Two wrongs make me write.

    Practice makes word perfect.

    There’s many a clue that was uttered in jest.

    Wha

  •  

    I saw some red fluff on the carpet…well,it’s red carpet.I dropped my cup of tea and the fluff soaked it up
    Note:Must remember never to snog on the floor…it would be impossible to get the fluff of me!
    Another quiet Sunday.I forgot to listen to Poetry Please.
    Note:Must get a wall calendar… do they do academic year ones.
    I saw a squirrel in the garden… pity it was not a sheep which would save mowing the lawn.
    I went out this morning.I spent ages wondering whether to put a cardigan on.In the end I put on my navy Windsmoor cotton blazer style cardigan with lapels.. ..but it was too hot.I hummed and hawed over a red pvc imitation leather satchel type handbag.I wonder what Dave will think of that?
    In the end I settled for buying Woman and Home in case I get short of paper to line the cats tray..she prefers glossy paper…really!
    I wonder if I need any toilet paper this week and toothpaste?
    I think I’ll read some Dickens again.Shall I marry Dave? That is,if he asks me.. of course i am already married in a sense… but no-one knows that.Why is bigamy a crime.Whom does it hurt?
    You can have multiple boyfriends in the pursuit of multiple orgasms but you can only have one husband.It seems discriminatory.Though it might mean having a lot of children.
    I think I’ll wash my hair tonight.Or how about waiting another day?I find it hard to decide…maybe a wig?
    I must drink that tea…the cup that cheers,they say.I have a mug.God, the milk’s run out again… it’s Goody Two Shoes.She’s my cat.She only has two legs but she can go really fast on an electric skate board…
    Disabled cats..send me a cheque please.Paracatolympics now

  • http://www.finestquotes.com/author_quotes-author-Robert%20Frost-page-0.htm

    The problem is very few of these sites give the book or article from which the quote come

  • The mirror cracked,look, stranger.
    The lowing herd winds up this island now.
    The leaping light for your delight
    A multitude of colours shows.
    Beside the lake,beneath the trees
    I wonder where old dragons go?

    April is the cruelest month.
    In the doldrums,we get snowed under.
    Earth has not anything to show more fair
    Than Boris Johnson’s flaxen hair.
    On Westminster Bridge we stand and gaze,
    We’ll be trapped here for days and days.

    The policemen put the kettle on.
    But where has Red Riding Hood’s granny gone?
    Sing a song of sixpence,I have love but no money.
    The bees are in the lavender collecting for their honey.

    The Kettles are coming,ha ha,ha ha
    The pans and the pots are going to war.
    By yon bonny banks and by yon bonny braes.
    I should kneel down now ,it’s time for a prayer.

  • There’s a blog calling itself the dullest in the world.It’s entries are like this.
    www.dullestblog.com

    I woke up and felt nice and cosy.So I stayed in bed for 60 more minutes.

    I watched TV for an hour last night.I drank some beer from a can.I fell asleep.

    Picture of nothing here so it’s invisible but i’ll leave a space for it.

    I had toad in the hole for my dinner.My girlfriend was out.The toad was lovely so I didn’t cook him.i am keeping him in the windwobox.

    I washed my underwear yesterday so it will be dry by Monday.I have no tumble dryer.

    I will go for a walk today..maybe or perhaps I’ll lie on the sofa and day dream.

    Noone wants to read this but am I bovvered?

  • This morning was bright and warm
    Outside a garden chair with,of course,a soft cushion,
    Was inhabited by a sleeping
    Oscar,who woke and
    stretched
    and graciously permitted
    me to scratch
    his neat black head.
    Soon after a white
    cat with gingery patches
    was seen
    ascending the stairs.
    Where is she going?
    Where is she from?
    Where are they all from?
    do they sense a space?
    This house was the
    home for many years
    of loving cats.
    Now it seems a vacancy has been
    declared on Cat Wide Web.
    They are coming round
    to see how they feel
    No decision as yet!

  • Lurching yet graceful still,the old black cat sets off;
    Slowly he circles the edges of the garden in joy.
    In the car,though still in a shut basket,
    He always knew when we came to the turning of the road.
    Was it the cherry trees in blossom,a scent
    Or something we could never be aware of?
    I would open his basket in the car.
    He comes out and descends so carefully
    Onto the pavement,then tries to bound up the path,
    The long wooded back garden is his greatest joy.
    He would sit watching tiny frogs in a deep pond
    In the sun.No doubt he longed to catch one.
    He once brought a robin indoors,
    The bird was completely unharmed.
    It must have been his gift to me
    We released it later after its shock had worn off.
    Now he can only hobble,
    And soon, his thinness warns me,he’ll be gone.
    No cat has ever loved or will love like this cat,
    A rescued, terrified animal.
    His eyes say everything to me.
    I look into their clear-jewelled greenness
    I look into a deep,still glowing sea of light.
    The last day,finally, all day, he’s on my knee.
    I say”goodbye,goodbye,baby”.
    And he’s gone,just before tea.
    Now the garden seems empty.
    Love leaves a gap.
    Love leaves us bare
    Love leaves us stripped.
    Yet Love is eternal grace.
    A mystery of faith,
    I b

  • We sat at our table in the full sun,
    Light reflected from the French window,
    So bright it was…
    Made the Mexican Orange Blossom
    Throw out wild white flowers
    Into the side of the shady wood-like garden.
    Reflected light had made it bloom.
    And then down the path came quietly
    A white cat with a black patch on her side.
    Attentive to other life forms, she starts when
    She notices us.She was near but had not seen;
    Pretends to run off down the path
    but when I raise my head she was coming
    From the other way,from
    the kitchen door,calmly….
    As if she owned everything.
    She does,too.
    Otherwise there was a faint twittering of sparrows
    In the holly festooned with wild white rose.
    It was summer,the cats know.

Early September 201 BCUK blog

  • SMALL TALK

    latest  2 picSmall talk topics
    -1.What newspaper do you read,if any?
    0.Do you have a blog?What about?
    1.The weather [in UK]
    2.Health problems…. or possible ones.
    3.The government
    4,Your clothes
    5 Recipes.
    6.Light novels you have read.
    7 Stuff from the newspaper
    8.TV if you can get to yourself to watch it.
    9.Your car or bicycle or your bunions.
    10 Your new camera/computer/i pad/u pad/her pad/ur pad/z pad.
    11,interior decor.
    12.Money..the recession and price of food.
    13 Religion
    14.Atheism
    15 Indifference
    16 Is depression an epidemic? Do you worry too much.Or talk to much.
    17 Are your boundaries strong enough?
    18 your sex life or somebody else’s or the lack of
    19,Is pornography responsible for crime?
    20 Crime.
    21 The police
    22 The riots.
    23 The strike planned by teachers
    24 12/12/12
    25 Xmas.
    26 Baking.
    27 Xmas presents
    28.Family problems.
    29 People who don’t speak to you or vice versa
    30 Pets
    31 Breadmakers.
    32.Pop stars
    33 Schools.
    34 Newspaper.
    35 Disabled people’s benefits being cut back.
    36.Should you buy an Amazon Fire?
    37 Are women too like men now?How?
    38.Do you think life was better in the past?Which era?
    39.Do you use a table cloth.
    40.Do you wear a nightie or pyjamas or a night shirt or your underwear in bed and if so why have you picked that one?
    41 Should people wear old clothes at home and only dress nicely if going out?
    42 Why do so many people wear jeans?
    43.Is tencel better than denim for jeans.
    44.Should fat people dress to look thinner or dress how they please?
    45.Why David Cameron has no expression on his face.
    46 A and E closures.
    47 Chemotherapy.
    48 Best hairdresser.
    49 Makeup.
    50.D

  •  

    Again,I am frayed.
    In pain I have prayed.
    In the main,poems don’t pay.
    Don’t be plain in your way.
    I’ll explain it some day.

    Training cats and dogs to pray seems idealistic.

    Training frogs the time of the day is an idea but will never become real,

    Praise the jar… an early invention rarely mentioned.

    Waking up the bunny was cruel.

    I am a wholly cat.

    Battle with your cage or walk out the door.

    I saw the end of the wheel.It turned a full circle.

    I reached new knights near a round table floating in the sea.

    Ideas breed between the lines.

    I bleed between the lines.

    I need more than a few lines.

    Lead the fine poets to print their own books

    I led the riot to attract opposites

    Almost a  cliche

    You bit my big tart

    She lies over willed silk

    Do you feel me approach?

    Food does my art good.

    You are making me wavy.

    Mindless words damage.

    Every dog has his own way.

    Painted face art never should shows

    I fell dead on the wheel.Now I have wings

    Gale Dictionary of Psychoanalysis:
    Capacity for Maternal Reverie
    Top
    Home > Library > Health > Psychoanalysis Dictionary

    Wilfred R. Bion developed the concept of the capacity for maternal reverie in his three books written during the 1960s: Learning from Experience (1962), Elements of Psycho-Analysis (1963), and Transformations: Change from Learning to Growth (1965).

    Although he was an adult analyst and was primarily interested in group dynamics and the workings of psychosis, the concepts that he proposed (based on study of the analytic relationship in these two areas) in fact also proved to be very dynamic and very productive in connection with study of the foundations of the psychic apparatus—that is, the ontogenesis of the psyche.

    In Bion’s view, this ontogenesis of the psyche can be related to a digestive model of the workings of the “thought-thinking apparatus.” At the beginning of its life, the baby does not have access to a thought-thinking apparatus that is mature enough to metabolize—that is, to use and integrate its very first mental or proto-mental materials. Bion thus described the beta (b) elements, which correspond to extremely archaic bodily feelings, to emotional states linked to the infant’s very earliest sensory and relational experiences, which it cannot utilize as such. There is thus a need, for the baby—that is, for its mental growth and maturation—for a detour through the Other.

    The infant projects these beta elements into the psyche of its mother (or other adult caregiver); this adult effectively lends the child their own “thought-thinking apparatus” to reshape, detoxify, and transform the beta elements into alpha (a) elements, which can then be assimilated by the infant and integrated into its own mental functioning. This transformation is due to the “alpha function” of the mother’s psyche, or “capacity for maternal reverie,” which thus fulfills what could be described as a “desaturating” function with regard to the beta elements produced and felt by the infant (or by the patient).

    From vantage point of the history of ideas, the emergence of this concept is situated at the confluence of Bion’s ideas on the functioning of groups, which also have a containing and transformative function (containers), and his analytic practice with adult psychotics: “If the patient cannot transform his emotional experience into alpha elements, he cannot dream,” he wrote in Elements of Psycho-Analysis.

    This model is indissociable from the grid that Bion proposed to categorize the different types of mental materials (horizontal rows) and the various ways these can be used in communication (vertical columns). The beta and alpha elements correspond to the first two horizontal rows (A and B) of the grid, the last row of which is the “algebraic calculus” (H).

    The extrapolation of this model to early psychic development was effected more by later theorists of child analysis than by Bion himself. In France, René Diatkine published L’Enfant dans l’adulte ou l’éternelle capacité de rêverie (1994; The child in the adult; or, the eternal capacity for reverie), in an implicit homage to all that this concept has contributed to the work of child analysts. In Diatkine’s view, the concept of the maternal reverie must be understood along with Jean Laplanche’s work on psychic translation in the context of his theory of generalized seduction.

    Bibliography

    Bion, Wilfred R. (1962). Learning from Experience. London: Heinemann; New York: Basic Books.

    ——. (1963). Elements of Psycho-Analysis. London: Heinemann.

    ——. (1965). Transformations: Change from learning to growth. London: Heinemann.

    Diatkine, René. (1994). L’Enfant dans l’adulte ou l’Éternelle Capacité de rêverie. Neuchâtel and Paris: Delachaux & Niestlé.

    Read more: http://www.answers.com/topic/maternal-reverie-capacity-for#ixzz2645U4sil

    In this heat it’s a trial to walk,
    Though I’m happy, should you wish to talk.
    I look into your eyes
    And see truth not lies.
    In fact you resemble a hawk!
  • MATHS FOR LOVERS

    How many toes can you suck at once?Advice for guys

    How do I love thee when I’m an Aspie? Delightful Mathematicians.Their care and feeding and
    even…breeding!

    Will you still love me when I have forgotten what logarithms are?
    Bizarre tales of love in the Mathematical
    Institute.

    Forget Maths in twelve easy steps: Dancing for Darlings.

    Inch by inch:Crawl up the Wall with Professor Braithwaite.

    Baby steps to Love for the Mathematically Gifted.

    Dr Braithwaite’s Love Problems:Triangles,Squares,Elliptical Approaches and Heaps of Leaps.Solutions at the back.

    Leave your Hyperbola at Home: Dates,their care and feeding for the Geometer.

    Are Quadratic forms relevant for Sexual Success:Succinct Replies to Astutely Odd Queries.

    A Dummy Date: Trial and terror.

  • News biscuit

    by Kathswords Pro @ 2012-09-09 – 21:31:35

    http://www.newsbiscuit.com/

    Mike Flemming has passed on this wonderful website name to me.It really does take the biscuit!blue butterfly DSC_20194-01 [800x600]

  • How are you?

    Who are you?

    I’m your brother!

    Sorry,dear,my eyes are not what they wear.

    Well,why not have new glasses if you must wear them?

    What kind of new classes.Socio-economic?

    Are you deaf?

    I think it’s a dress.

    Are you not sure?

    No,I’m not insured so it’s no good you killing me for the money!

    I’d bill you just for pleasure!

    Too much leisure? Why not do voluntary work?

    If it’s voluntary,is it work?

    Yes, she does smirk?

    Who?

    Meryl Streep!

    What sort of name is “Streep”?

    Perhaps it was a spelling error?

    Yes,she does fill me with terror!

    I thought you liked strong women.

    Only as they lust and last longer in bed.

    In bed.What a joke.You’re 96 tomorrow!

    Yes,it will be my 96th lady tomorrow.I hope to find four more sweet ladies before I die.

    I won’t ask why.

    I’ll tell you anyway.

    Go on,tell me;I’m all here.

    Well,with the first ninety I have realised I was doing it wrong.

    Can you do it wrong?

    Well,yes,if you want to procreate or to please.

    Did father not tell you what to do?

    Bell me!I’m a man not a cat.

    Look,there’s a pretty woman.

    I can’t see anything!

    She’s across the road.

    I need stronger glasses.

    I just need stronger spirits.

    Do they breed,those ferrets?

    I never know what they do.

    Can’t you watch them?

    Well,they’re so quick!

    Yes,I love Diana Quick.The best actress by far I believe.

    Better than Judi Dench?

    Well,no-one is better than Judi.

    I’m no-one.

    I’m a moral vacuum.

    Can I take my morals from you?

    Yes,I love stew.

    No,Beryl’s in a stew.

    I knew it!

    How?

    I saw her hair was dropping out.

    She’s up the spout.

    How vulgar you are.

    I’m doing my best.

    Yes, do wear a vest.

    I passed my driving test!

    In what?

    A car, of course!

    So,passed at the 100th go?

    Yes,that’s why I want 100 ladies.

    You mean…………………..

    So I hear!

    What,are you still here?

    I’d love a beer..

    Yes,I have some fears and I shed a few tears.

    I could lend you a hankey.

    Will I have to pay interest?

    No,just pay me some attention.

    Detention!I’m not a schoolchild.

    I agree,you are wild.

    I’d like some mild beer.

    Everyone suffers fears.

    For years,oh,dear..

    Yes,the strawberries are dear.

    They are queer?I’d love a gay strawberry or two.

    You are too old to be gay!

    I’ll do it my way.

    http://youtu.be/Y0KOomVppNs

  • A clock of fire shone overhead.That’s just the sun,they said.

    Up and punning.The life of an old word lover.

    Sick of rhyme?Free verse now.

    Take off that look.Try a new Face…. without the book.

    Knock me off the shelf.I’m divine….ravings of the Cook.

    At the top they are dead.At the bottom they dread.What is the meaning?

    Are you on Plotter,the new social medium?Sign on secretly when you get a private message.I never spoke.

    Don’t sign up to Paranoia.Madness hurts.

    Of kilts and men.The Scottish affect:Gloom is us.

    Oh,I shan’t bother!Listless and weak…. you need a new kind of speech…talk yourself well in ten days.

  •  

    I am thinking today about reverie,daydreams and fantasy.I believe it is crucial to creativity to be able to enter a state of reverie,a state of mind that can happen if we feel secure and safe in our surroundings so we can let our attention float freely.When in danger we must be alert and our eyes are sharply focused.We don’t fall into reverie then.

    Reverie is not fantasy.Fantasy to me is when you make up a little scenario that pleases you…maybe dreaming of dramatically rescuing someone from drowning and being presented with a gold medal.Or meeting a perfect person who loves you. forever and sees no faults in you.
    Reverie is not self serving.

    What I think is that fantasy is done by the conscious mind often to gain gratifications unobtainable in real life.Most people do it now and then.

    But a fantasy meal does not feed you.On the other hand it may give you hope.
    Apples on pink

    In a state of reverie we are open to intimations and images from parts of our mind not controlled by the ego.In my case it sometimes happens by way of a tune coming into my mind…. a song.Or an idea about how to solve a problem…. or a phrase which leads to a poem.

    I believe what is called “Stress” may be a state in which you cannot allow yourself to daydream and fall into a reverie.We feel in danger so must remain focused all the time.The eye muscles tense as do other muscles.So we get very tired.And we fail to see the broader picture.

    As for dreams whilst asleep… these seem nearer to reverie to me than to wish fulfillment.But I’m not sure.

    One thing concerns me is Lucid Dreaming.I try to taken this I believe people try to take over control of the dream and make it go in a way that they consciously want.If it’s a nightmare that may be a good idea
    but in general I believe we should let our dreaming mind go where it wishes because it may be some other part of the mind sending a message.Or it may be God sending a message.The language of symbols is different from a spoken language.Symbols have many meanings.

    Each person can know better what their own symbols mean than an outsider.I think falling int0 reverie whilst contemplating a dream image may help to understand it in part.

    As for Meditation,I’m unsure where that fits in… but it must be somewhere near Reverie…

  •  

    Feel the money flowing over you?

    Don’t pencil me in…am I unworthy of ink?

    Ask Penny what she thought.

    A Jenny pincher..he loves a Wren.

    A penny waved is a penny scorned.

    Many may be wise yet can thousands be more foolish than thou?

    People who live in classy houses shouldn’t moan.

    Deception breaks loyalty.

    Pick of the wittier…political farces for the bored.

    He picked the low hanging suit…… oh, belly in

    A dictionary gives birth to a thousand elegies

    I thought it was a piece of cake,mother….Never bite Art works.Dentists love them,hate them,pay them,but when?

    A cliche

    I shall peck a tin…..it’s the new diet for quick weight loss.
    You eat the tin and throw out the food.

    He has been seen praying in the maths classes.

    Have you got a pane in your neck?why not install double crazing?

    Will you paint yourself in the corner?Make up is too sexy in front of the children.

    Will Pandora put on her socks ?

    I can paper over the cracks but with the holes in the floor that’s tricky and dangerous…especially with the stouter ladies.

    I’d like a paper tiger for my bed.The cuddly ones are too lifelike/

    Is there a bar for the horses?

    He passed his dismay on to the priest and received a blessing and then a brick fell on his head.Oh,Lord…can’t you wait?

  • I copied this from the World of Psychology but regret I can’t find the reference.But read it anyway.

    Not quite timeless but very old

    Connect with the Timeless

    There is another source of connectedness that does not involve specific other people and that has some advantages that attachments to people do not. The Gershwin song expresses the romantic wish that through “the Rockies may tumble, Gibraltar may crumble, they’re only made of clay, but–Our love is here to stay.” Well, the Rockies and Gibraltar are still around while countless people who earnestly sang these lyrics to their partner are not. Or their partner is not. Or both, through separation or death, are gone.

    I am not proposing that it is better to love rocks than people. But I am implying two other propositions: 1) that it is unrealistic not to recognize the possibility of any relationship being transient and ephemeral, and 2) that the more we can root some of our attachment needs in things more lasting and even timeless, the firmer is the ground on which we stand in life’s changes and discontinuities.

  •  

    I confess to two evils….eating cake and drinking.

    Let sleeping dogs lie but not humans.Truth now!

    Let the cat out with a flag.

    Let’s roll over in the hay.

    Let’s split in two so I am you and you are too.

    Ticking off one’s wounds never works.

    I shall lie down with lions and see how they like me…raw or cooked.

    In life its rare to hear a bowl of cherries growl.

    Life’s a sandy beach with the tide coming in…. then going out with us floating.

    She was as light as the weather forecast on a stormy day.
    .

    Switch the light off at your end of the tunnel

    I got blight in my loafers.

A bit more from Sept 2012

 

  • Mary writes a lettee

    The Pilchards.

    23,Sweetnames Avenue

    Knittingham

    Near Nottingham.

    England

    Dear Jane

    Hope you are keeping well in this unusually cold spring weather.

    Stan has had flu.It made him so bad tempered and waspish

    that I took up the Duraglit polish and got him to polish all the brass,

    except the front door knob, as that doesn’t come off.

    Mind you,it made the bedroom smell odd… a mistake,perhaps…

    so I sprinkled lavender oil around.

    He seems to get thinner and I seem to get fatter.

    So our average w eight remains constant.

    What a relief.I’d like to be weighed as a married woman.

    Can you believe this..

    I’ve got chilblains! It’s those dratted blood vessels of mine.

    Still,I polished some old plum colored leather and wear them in the house.

    We seem to be doing polishing frequently here.. boots,furniture,apples.

    How is your new book “Nonsense:A.N.Whitehead and Lewis Carroll” coming on?

    Hope it’s progressing….to a nonsensical ending.

    I’ve got a new book of poetry coming out in April

    [from Polar bears publishers]

    It’s called,”An unpolished performance.”

    My fourth book on Wittgenstein’s cats is almost finished.

    And the publishers can’t wait for the photographs…I’ll get a friend to do those for me!!

    It gives me a change from all that polishing.

    I’ve begun to talk to myself out loud…. in the street.

    Just seeing if I can still do my old Lancashire accent.

    I suppose it might worry people but no one has said anything as yet.They may be afraid.

    “That which is unsaid can,nevertheless,still be heard.

    Stan is still involved romantically with Anne, our next door neighbor.

    I can’t blame him as chilblains and Wittgenstein not very romantic.

    When I think of how we used to be,it makes me smile and feel sadness too.

    I wonder if I can find someone new for a romance,myself… someone with Asperger’s syndrome

    possibly…as I’ve just been diagnosed.It’s quite common in mathematicians.It may be an

    advantage in concentrating a lot

    I need a boyfriend with weak eyes as my clothes are all full of moth holes

    and I’m damned if I’m going to buy new ones.

    I can’t see well enough to darn but I’ve sewn the holes up neatly thus

    giving a strange pleated effect to my clothes.

    On my merino wool knitted trousers, one hole was right on the ass.

    It looks now as if I’ve been shot in the rear…

    but I can’t see it.So it does not exist.

    Sometimes in the past I would iron on those motifs like

    butterflies…but

    I think it would look odd having a butterfly just there…. or indeed

    anything else like wild rose.

    I could make a little sign saying

    “Keep clear,from my rear.This is a hole where a moth scored a goal.”

    Still,not many people are going to look there now I hope….

    I seem to have stopped knitting but am still drawing.

    Meantime I’ve just ironed some of my winter clothes as it’s still chilly..

    and am planning to iron all my pink and blue knickers now

    as I believe it kills any germs left when you wash at 30 deg.I got those colours in case I should

    change sex or is it gender?

    I wonder if I should iron the sheets?

    Could I do it while they are on the bed?

    I don’t wash them much as it wears them out and me too.

    I am going to take up baking again because Stan is getting so thin.

    I fancy a Russian cheesecake as it had a lot of protein in it.

    I have a genuine Russian cookbook and also am waiting for a delivery of a

    Jewish cookery book as I have lost mine..no it fell down onto my head last week

    .God only knows where that came from.

    but I believe there were good cheesecakes as Jewish cooking has much in

    common with Russian,perhaps because once many Jews lived in Russia.I just

    made friends with one here….he is charming and like me he hates golf.

    I have got almost all the Penguin cookery books ever printed but mislaid a

    few.

    In fact it’s quite hard to get into the kitchen

    with all these books on the shelves.And a little food.

    I was comforted to read that the parent’s of John Burra,the artist,

    had books piled every where in their large house….

    and he was very untidy too.

    So all I need is talent and practice and I’ll be an artist.

    After all,anyone can be untidy but not everyone will practice their Art.

    I’d like to practice the arts of love.

    They say you should love your neighbor as yourself,

    but personally I prefer the neighbor or even the milkman to myself.

    Meanwhile I’m happy with Emile our cat

    and my 500 photos of Wittgenstein.

    I shall make Stan a lemon sponge pudding.

    That is the love he wants…Food.

    “If music be the food of love I’ll cohabit with a pure white dove.
    And while he coos and sings for me.
    I’ll try not to :fall out of the tree,
    Get stung by a bee,
    Have psychotherapy
    Make more enemies,
    Let my thought free,
    Hurt my knee.
    Let moths frighten me.

    Well,time for some tea.

    Now Jane, please write to me soon.

    I love to see your so strangely beautiful handwriting

    and to hear about Whitehead and Cambridge and all the weird dons.

    I hope it’s not too damp and cold there near that river.

    Keep warm and make a note of any intriguing happenings to relate to me.

    And anything beautiful you can see or hear.I hope Edward is writing

    regularly..where is he doing his research now… did you say Stanford?

    Maybe you should install Skype..then again,perhaps not as you would have to

    wash your hair too much… and comb it too…perhaps we could wear wigs.

    Do write soon,Love always,Mary.

  •  

    I wish I were an apple
    and you were eating me
    I’d like to make you happy
    As you sat by this tree.
    I wish I were a blackbird
    So I could sing for you.
    I’d like to make you cheerful
    And stop you feeling blue.
    I wish I were the sun
    So I cold warm your frozen heart.
    And then your heart would melt for me
    And you would be less tart.
    I wish I were the moon
    so I could protect you all night long.
    But being only me may I
    Present you with this song?


    Why

     

    1.Why is denim now a sign of conformity not rebellion?
    2.Where are the best jeans from?
    3.Should you wear “double denim”?
    4. Why is denim too hot for summer and too cold for winter and yet we wear it anyway?
    5.Why don’t most people wear winter coats nowadays?
    6.Why are the shops so hot they make one feel sick
    7.How shopping makes me feel sick and other ways of saving money.
    8.Why did the Russians have the best novelists?
    9.Is 8. true?
    10.Is life worthwhile?
    11.What does 10.mean
    12.Who can come up with the best ideas for small talk?
    13.Food processors…are they a good thing to own?
    14.Did you see the second version of Dr Zhivago?
    15.Why is Russian Orthodox liturgy so moving?
    16.Have you been to Walsingham?
    17.Do you like day trips on a coach?
    18.Why is fish and chips our national dish.
    19.Why is roast beef our national dish.
    20.Do other nations have fish and chips?
    21 Is rapeseed oil any use for chip frying?
    22.What an odd name rapeseed is.
    23.Did Einstein eat chips?
    24.Is your skin sensitive?
    25.Why do women wear deodorants but men don’t usually bother?
    25.Do you need suncream in the winter?
    26.How many grains of sand are there on Brighton beach?
    27.Why is the sea at Hythe sometimes teal
    28.Why are the Saxon cliffs in Kent a mile from the sea?
    29.Can the Kent authorities move the cliffs back near the sea again.
    30 Isn’t it odd that the railway line runs at the bottom of the cliffs near Folkstone as the tide might come up
    as a train goes by?
    31,Is this small talk?