Mary tries to go out

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

One morning Mary went out  planning to go into the town to buy some new shoes.

Are you going to buy me some new shoes too, asked Emile her little black cat

I’m sorry but I’m short of money and you’ve got four feet so it’s very expensive to buy you shoes

Well why don’t you buy them on eBay, he asked her politely

I’ve never bought anything on eBay yet said Mary thoughtfully.

How do you know about it?

I discovered that Annie gets her designer clothes from eBay because I saw a package on her doorstep with a big label on it.

Well I didn’t know that I must ask her about it Mary chortled

No no cried the cat she’ll know it’s me that told you

What do you think is going to do? She might be a bit angry.

She doesn’t want me to know that she’s sort of money and can no longer afford to buy a camel coat from Max Mara.

Well most people don’t wear camel coats now or even woolen coats.

Could it be very cruel to camels to remove their coats to give to wealthy Western women or men?Emile sighed with anxiety

Not at all, the camels are probably grateful because it’s very hot living in a desert in the Mediterranean or African part of the world.

Are there camels in the Negev?

I’m very impressed that you have heard of that desert. No I don’t think there are any camels there.

I believe you said Emile cautiously.

Because if there were any camels living there now they would have been rehoused by the Israeli government.

They would have been moved into a town and given their own passports with Israeli citizenship

We are talking about camels here, not people?

Well camels are people to other camels.

Emil it’s a great city that you did not go to Oxford and do a PPE degree like that great man David Cameron who did so much good to this country in 2016.

How are you being ironical the cat cried.

I am trying, said Mary.

Sometimes you are very trying, mother.

Emile I’ve told you before I am not your mother

Well I feel as if you are my mother and I have no other because I can’t remember anything before I was two years old

Your Mother was a cat and she fed you with her own milk

I’m really disappointed to hear that because I thought that I’d been fed by you.

Well you have been fed by me ever since you were weaned from your poor mother.

Why do you call her my poor mother?

Well I am sorry to tell you that she died a year after you were born. She lived down the street near the park and when I heard I said,

please tell the owners that ae would love to have the kitten. Stan himself went down and collected you in a special basket with a  rug inside it

Perhaps it was a camel hair rug, Emile cried

I’m afraid I can’t remember but camel hair rugs are not very common in England

No I suppose dog hair rugs would be more common in England

I don’t think the English are patient enough to collect the dog hair and make it into a thread

Perhaps the English used to be patient in the past but since we had the referendum in 2016 we seemed to become like a different people altogether.

Yes,things have gone downhill a lot since we had that referendum. And wasn’t  Boris Johnson involved?

I wish that Borus Johnson had gone to them with the camels in the desert wherever that might be

Perhaps we could move to a desert the cat queried

What will the expense of the electricity in the gas this winter I think a lot of people might be wanting to move to the desert but you’ve got to be careful with deserts.

Why said the cat curiously?

Because they are  often used for testing weapons.

If it was still catapults and bows and arrows it wouldn’t be so bad but we cannot imagine the kind of weapons the forever available to folj with enough money to buy them.

Well that’s very sad Emile cautiously.

At the bus stop Maty met her friend Nelly

Where are you going asked Nelly?

Do you know I’ve had such a long conversations with my cat that I can’t remember anything at all so I think I’m going to go home and make a cup of tea. Why don’t you come with me; you can always do your shopping later.

The women returned to Mary’s house and sat down gratefully in the pink woollen armchairs in the sitting room

They had quite forgotten that there was no one there to make them a cup of tea but fortunately the doorbell rang and in-ran Dave the transvestite paramedic. He was wearing a camel hair coat and white hat

Thank God you’re here he cried

I just need to make some tea for somebody so that I can have some myself.

How fortunate these women were they did not realise as they were so used to being looked after by men or even cats.

That should give us pause for thought

Or as a cat’s might say

Paws for thought

And so say all of us

Shut the door to refugees

Where have all the cowards gone?
Wrong time passing
Where have all the cowards gone
Wrong rhyme ago?
Where have all the cowards gone?
In the government half of them
When will they pay and go?
When will old Satan show?

See him in a liar’s eyes
See him in the murky skies
See him laugh as children die
See him,hear him by and by
when will we ever learn?

Let children drown in warm blue seas
Shut the doors to refugees
Like we did to Europe’s Jews
Just buy red poppies and feel pleased
When will we truly mourn?
When will we ever grieve?

The unconsciousness or blindness of politicians:Sinful or sick?

http://imgbuddy.com/sigmund-freud-psychoanalysis-cartoon.aspPhoto0367

  • Humankind cannot bear much reality

    T S ELiot
    The poets know things before most other people do…I am sure many of us have heard of Freud and his “discovery ” that we are not conscious of many of our desires, fears and past traumas,That we may, without knowing, lie to ourselves about why we do things…[ he was not interested merely in sex]
    That nervous illnesses may be an attempt to solve such problems may be known to some… however it seems this may make life harder.
    So for example you may
    hate your mother-in-law but you do not find this0 acceptable to your ideal self image…. of the loving person you believe you are [Of course we both love and hate most people who are really close to us]
    A person in that situation might develop migrainous style headaches,agoraphobia,fear of walking on cracked pavements ,fear of driving,fear of women,obsessive cleaning etc… and so in a way they avoid the real issue… that they hate a family member.

    They don’t do this because they are stupid and they don’t choose their symptoms [ which may also be caused by perfectionism,overwork,fatigue,anguish].

    They do it partly because anger or hatred are so painful for them because of past life events or severe punishments that they are completely unable to allow the emotions out into their conscious mind.At some level we all deceive ourselves.
    I was wondering if something similar might be applied to politicians.Think of the bedroom tax,sanctioning benefit claimants leaving them starving,making people blind and mentally ill apply for work etc.
    Or ask yourself did the British Government consciously want to commit genocide in South Aftica in the Boer War when they invented Concentration Camps and filled them with Afrikaaners?

    From our perspective it seems unthinkable that governments could do such bad things with no anxiety or fear
    .
    Now,we can suffer from lack of imagination like Generals in WW1 who were horrified by trench warfare only after they saw it in the flesh.
    Or could there be a mechanism like a neurosis where they do not really know what they are doing?
    I suppose it brings us to a perrenial question:

    Is it SIN or is it SICKNESS / NEUROSIS/PSYCHOSIS?”

    [If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives” (1 John 1:8-10).
    ]

    In recent years sin has gone out of fashion as a concept and we tend more and more to call bad people sick…This implies they have no choice or free will about some of their actions whereas sin implies we have chosen our actions to some extent,, and using a stupid economic model may be sinful if enough advice has not been taken
    Just look at the American Handbook of Psychiatry where disobedient children have “oppositional defiance disorder” as opposed to normal childish ways of learning how to be a part of a family or group.. and knowing when it’s good to obey.. and when older maybe it’s not always good as adolescents learn slowly and painfully.

    Returning to discuss politicians I think it would require tremendous effort not to know what is happening to the poor here.
    Indeed I was talking about this with a taxi driver, coming back from the biopsy, who was so interested in the topic and enjoyed it so much he knocked 30% off the fare for me…
    Most of the people i know believe either the government is sinful or that the poor are sinful and deserve this punishing regime….
    But what if they do not realise? How can Ian Duncan Smith go to Mass receive Communion [Jesus’s body] having confessed his sins and done penance then carry on with his style of politics unless he is using some defence mechanism to blind himself to the effects of his works

    BTW how much have they wasted on new technology and how can they expect older unemployed people to buy computers and do everything online?
    I found it a bit daunting and I am a mathematician… or was;I have forgotten most of what I knew but I suppose there are mental habits one gets.
    I enjoy it now especially when I am ill and can’t get out or do much…. but it sometimes takes quite a lot of effort to sort things out…
    I suppose I recall Jesus’s words a lot these days.
    Father,forgive them for they know not what they do”
    I am less kind than Jesus…I’d say give them some nightmares,Lord…… maybe it will get through but if they are psychopaths they will not change.But we can attempt to vote them out… it seems hard with Labour still being Blair-ish but that’s what i am choosing after the Lib Dems lies in 2010.I likw the Greens but is it a wasted vote?

Irascible in verse

My father was very irascible…

His desires were often impossible.

So he kicked the poor cat

And tore  up its mat.

A  small feline scapegoat alas-ible.

Losing one’s patience is  commonplace

As the strong hit the weak  in their space.

And research now shows

That  giving a  hard  blows

Increases our rage and disgrace

Irascible has  Latin  roots

Dies irae   is  of the same  suit,

It seems apposite

With the shocking French sights,

Murder spreads to destroy   our doubts.

Irascibility  is less than enraged

Sometimes our patience is strained

But  our dearest ones know

We are not often so.

With a  good rest, our patience’s regained.

If rage has taken over our lives

Then virtue will never   thrive

Annihilation is our fear

And  we feel it is near.

We fear we may not long survive

Why we had fights in the UK on Black Friday

In Britain there is an hugely increasing gap between the rich,the professional and the poor.Postmen now have a zero hours contract.Coal mines have shut as have shipyards.There is not much work for the people who were once essential to the country’s economy.They are treated ever worse.
They see tbe same adverts and see how others live.The only ways they can emulate it are by borrowing or by shopping in Sales.The rest of us can choose whether to get a new TV or even a new car.They can’t.Moreover they are attacked as lazy.
Secondly the shops are doing very badly and urgently need to sell more stock.It’s been warm and so winter clothes are unsold and the recession is still not over [another one may be starting].Everyone would like a tablet and children at school are expected to have a computer at home.What do you do if you are poor?
We also have more mothers working.People don’t entertain at home much as it is too much effort.They meet in a coffee shop and most are in or near the Mall.We have immigrants from Europe who tend to go there and not the pub which is where men used to go to.
They see the shops and want some of what they see.
Some of us can avoid Sales as we can buy at normal prices or save our money.
I am certain the Mall can’t do what a Church and a community once did.But it’s a meeting place.Old folk can sit there and watch the world go by or meet a friend
Also there are security guards so women feel safer alone.
There is a place called Brent Cross… a huge mall not far from Golders Green.Many people love it
I saw a joke:A Jewish lady wants to be buried at Brent Cross…. because then her daughters will visit her every week..
.I would like to see fewer class problems and less snobbery.And to see the poor treated well.But there’s little chance of that.And we pay much less income tax now
yet want the NHS to offer expensive drugs….
It’s a crazy society.
I saw the judge in the Mitchell case thought the policeman was too dim to have invented the plebs remark……so even there he is reinforcing the idea what lower paid people are thick,stupid and gormless.
Black Friday was advertised to let the shops sell and stop them going broke…. but leave it for those wwho really need it…
Otherwise for the rest of us it’s almost psychotic to behave that way…what next?

To win, we need to lose

s_n03_00830740

 

As days of war now seen to be the norm
And watching bombs be dropped seens like  a game..
We need to think about the  long term harm.
Yet morally most of our world seems lame.

We see,because we have new tools to use,
Dead children gathered into shopping bags.
The horrors and the violence all bemuse
The burials are in grey and bombed out crags.

This is not a movie made for fun…
We must accept it’s real and kills or harms.
Whatever  way its consequences run
I see we repeat today the ancient forms

Can Imagination lead to wider  views?
Can we accept to win we need to lose?

In honor of Paul Tillich

Paul Tillich gave our spirit proper place.

He showed us courage as a  space to dwell.

He wrote for us and left us with   his  grace

With hope he might speak and he might tell.

So many people ignored Fascist speech

And lived with mind cut off from  their own soul

With pen in hand he wrote to reach

And touch us as we strive towards the whole.

Expelled from his own country, he wrote on

Continuing during  tortuous war long years

He lived, he loved ,he wrote, he died and then

His books continue to dispatch our fears.

For many men have lived and have destroyed.

Yet Tillich showed  us how to face the  void

Oxford Holy Riddle

OXFORD HOLY RIDDLE
Gold stone from Cotswold quarries men brought
And built into a way of life for those who bought
Their lives so cheaply.And did not see
The children’s eyes,the ball,the game, the tree
Of life that grew in small backyards and gave
All to those who lithely climbed into its arms,
Why should this not be you?
O Eden, I see that you are nearer now,
In lowly homes where love is free
Than in the temple ,grove and softset brow
Of those who worship God,in churches built of gold
Now  this is simple to behold
When sun is setting, and escapes the ashes
Thrown up and floating in the watches
Of the days of voters’ eyes cast up to skies
And wondering, fearful, what will come
When all the secret deals are done.
So take the gold of Life and let it fall
Into your children’s growing souls,
And let this Cotswold town and spires
Melt into sunset’s glowing orange fires.

Judgment is not measurable in numbers,so it does not exist!

 

A public demonstration of aerobic exercises
A public demonstration of aerobic exercises (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Photo1745Well.I read the Times,The Guardian and The Independent yesterday.And all I remember is that pink coats and pnted trousers are in fashion  and that the USA has read all my posts and emails including myriads of love letters or love mails.Joan Collins was raped on a date at 17 and later married the man.Very mysterious.I read the I on S today and did half a crossword before doing aerobic exercise whilst lying  on my bed.Meanwhile the sun shines and my joints ache.It’s correlation ,not causation.Just because you fell downstairs  doesn’t mean that’s why your leg broke.It was a coincidence….this is philosophy of science!

And the biggest issue for some of us that staff  in hospitals are worried  the facilities  in  the NHS are already over stretched before winter has started.So if I get chest pain I shall all not go there;I’ll just pass over quietly.Since when is it good for me to lie on a trolly for 13 hours in a noisy corridor and be given morphine after the pain has gone better?Then when you do need it they won’t give it to you.I felt it was like Alice in Wonderland.Blunderland?They treat you by a rubric not by assessing your actual condition… that’s my view.
I think it’s for legal reasons.Judgment may be left out as it’s not measurable it does not exist

Fascism: A Precursor to Postmodernism – The Imaginative Conservative

Armani PoMo
Armani PoMo (Photo credit: failing_angel)

Fascism: A Precursor to Postmodernism – The Imaginative Conservative.

This is worth reading for a broad picture of National Socialism

A very full review of “The Jewish Writings” by Hannah Arendt

http://www.lrb.co.uk/v29/n09/judith-butler/i-merely-belong-to-them

This broad ranging review  gives a very good account  of Arendt’s political views on Jews and on Israel.I learned a lot and have sympathy for her position.I am fearful of the current state of the middle east in  general

Where the world collapsed into an arch


I wonder who this stranger is,
Who read my poem and walked away,
But never  weeping
On a nuclear power station in Japan

His eyes were on Libya
But he stopped here,and read and then passed
On across what was once a green English metaphor,
Garlanded with daisies.My hero,my Odysseus.
The metaphors were made for you.
The web was woven and unwoven,so
Wherefore art thou,Antonio?

Do not go gentle into that dark night
Send me an email
I’ll wash you with the grit of shells from Dover Beach,
Where the world collapsed into an arch
Across nothingness into zero itself,the sun,the moon.
All shrank into this diamond.
I give it to you,stranger.

They think that they own us


I’ve sung my wild singing in time gone before
But I don’t want to sing now
Oh,never no more.
And it’s no nay ,never
No,nay,never no more
Shall I use my voice here…
Nor out will it pour.

My name is Allanah,or Eileen. perhaps
And I came here from Ireland
with outdated maps
And it’s,Why,why ever,
Why ever and more
Did the Brits give no votes to
The poor Catholics?

My sister and brothers
All died from T.B.
And an early dark grave
is here waiting for me.
But I bore six children
And I cared for my man
As he came home so filthy
From the auld coal diggin’

We had no free doctor
And no kind midwife.
So though my son’s born,
Strain is takin’ my life.

Always and ever
The rich will maintain
That without them this country
Will go down the drain.

But why don’t you try it
As a memorial to me.
Let the rats all depart
And what shall we see?

No,nay,never,nay never no more
Shall I bear my man children
No nay never
Not ever again.

I looked down from heaven
Where God has put me
What did I find
When out did I see?

I saw that the world
Turns round once every day
The beggars and homeless
Kneel down and they pray

Oh,no no never,
dear God help the rich.
Your son tried to l’arn them
But they weren’t bewitched.
They have their accountants
And they have all their laws
They find their amusement
In troubles and wars.
They think that they own you
But,dear God,you’re not theirs
We saw your son Jesus
And he said you are ours

So when will you come down
To make that judgment?
My pen it has broken
My life force is spent.

So it’s no,nay never
Not ever again
Will I sing my old songs
Nor  shall  I love my own man

Letter to our P.M.

I  feel that all living creatures should pay rent

Dear David Cameron
I am a very intelligent ,brilliant and creative   woman. Yet I often wonder why your face has no expression on it;I must confess since the vote on Syria you have looked a bit bothered now and then,But blankness seems your favourite look.Watch out or an artist may paint a sign on you

Danger:Please stalk on the grass

Danger:Trespassers will be persecuted.
I am writing to complain.There are many magpies,wood pigeons and other such creatures all living for free in the garden here.And think of the ones in the woods.None of them are taxed,yet they get free board and lodging,And moreover we have hundreds of worms here which could surely be made to work.I know it’s hard to tell them apart but all those civil servants who read Modern Greats at Woxford must have a few ideas.
I think if worms don’t work we should mince them and make meat pies out of them… and wood pigeons… that makes me salivate.
Those who won’t work shall be turned into food.The Chinese eat dogs… you catch my drift.Hard solutions for hard times, to warm an old cliche.
I do feel that all living creatures should pay rent.Birds who live in a garden with more than one tree must be made to see how unfair this is.I am unsure what language they speak… maybe Hebrew as they were in Eden once.Oh,those lazy days,eating fruit and sunbathing.And sinning without guilt.did you know Adam and Eve were unmarried,by the way!
Well,it’s bad for us to be happy so I’m counting on you to pulverize nature in all manifestations.
Why,surely,worms are a total waste of time.Get rid of them.Send them back where they came from.Even as I write worms may be tunnelling under the British Channel from France.We can’t let them dwell in our soil.And in the Spring you must stop birds migrating here.Why some come from the Congo.Surely that’s not morally justifiable
Hoping my ideas will be balm to
your ears.And try to get more of an expression on your face.You are like an enpty canvas
Yours truly
Dumbina Dodd [ M.A.Oxen]

P.S.What about cats? They sleep 20 hours a day.It’s wicked!

Ninety one and still loving

Sun through trees
Source: Kathryn
Source: Cat playing
Source: Kathryn
Source: Kathryn

Oh,Stanley Brown is ninety one.

His time to procreate has come!

His lover is now having twins!

See how Stanley grins.

Oh Stanley’s cat is called Emile.

He likes mouse pie and conger eels.

He watches Stanley making out.

He’s curious no doubt!

Why does Emile not find a mate?

Perhaps Emile left it far too late.

Though he has serviced twenty cats.

And killed so many rats.

But none of Emile’s lady mates

Stayed with him past their due date.

So Emile is a bachelor.

He’s peeping through the bedroom door.

He’s watching how these humans mate.

They seem to kiss and celebrate.

They sleep wrapped in each others arms.

This kind of love has charms.

So Emile wants to go online,

To find a site called “Yours is mine.”

He wants to find a sweet,sweet wife.

And live the loving life.

We must give Emile privacy,

Just like we permit Stanley.

They must not be in photo-shoots,

No matter that they’re cute.

Annie gets up in the night.

She keeps peeing,that’s alright.

She’s peeing now for two or three.

Her kidneys are busy.

Stanley brings her morning tea,

Emile notes in his diary.

She wears a dress and looks so bright.

What a cheerful sight.

Stanley has a his pension now.

Will they have child allowance too?

Age Concern will check on that,

While Emile’s on his mat.

Do you think Stan is far too old

To father twins and be so bold?

Should he forfeit his freedom pass?

He’s not short of brass.

Oh,George Osborne is coming round.

He wants to take the old man’s crown
[an old English coin]

He wants to punish older folk.

Ain’t he an evil bloke?

He thinks he will be Camerons’ heir!

He smiles a bit like Tony Blair.

He thinks we’ll all forget his tricks.

And we’ll just take his kicks.

But Stan and Annie organize

A protest march of the Oldies.

Not many are expecting twins,

Not when the march begins!

As you grow old, don’t give up life.

You take a lover or a wife.

You organise campaigns and march

From Camden town to Marble Arch.

You sing Dylan and play guitars.

You know what’s right and it matters.

You don’t leave life to other folk.

Oh,Stan’s a great old bloke.

Politics is for us all.

So get involved whilst you can crawl.

Make protests in your own sweet way.

Go on, begin today

George Osborne is a merry soul.they gave him all our money

 
my hand 3

The Earth keeps googling all of us

To see just where we are.

I am feeling rather angst ridden but,

Nevertheless, I care.

The earth is sweet ,the earth is round

It might be a ginger biscuit,

I think I’ll have to  gnaw on it.

I wonder,shall I risk it?

The earth has many seas on it,

Shall we drink them dry?

You can if you want to do,

I ‘ll just sit and cry.

The earth has googled Nicky Clegg

And found him in Westminster.

She wants to move him up the road,

To somewhere much  more sinister.

She googled Osborne wallpapers,

For to decorate the sky.

But her credit card was out of date,

So she’s not allowed to buy.

George Osborne is a merry soul

They gave him all our money

And  on Budget morning we’ll find out,

If the outlooks’s sunny.

And David Cameron looks down

To see what we will do.

I think that I might emigrate

And so should all of you.

You want to google Mrs.Earth

And she is googling you.

We are much too inquisitive,

And now we are all in view.

The earth is square and made from silk

,t hangs upon my wall.

Don’t let David Cameron know.

I bought it down the mall.

I think I’ll find a rabbit hole

To go down when I worry.

Alice went down one of them

Look how the rabbits scurry.

Those rabbits know more then we do,

Like all of earth’s dear friends,

Don’t google rabbits please I beg

That would be the end.

Dotty cats

No privacy for animals,

No privacy for people

Let’s send google far away,

And climb up the church steeple.

Let bells all ring,let angels sing

And ponder on earth‘s wonders.

We don’t need google earth for that

We do it every Sunday7

my hand 2

God wants to go home


God has handed himself to the police in East London:wants to go home

God voluntarily turned himself in at one the governments vans asking illegal immigrants if they want to go home.Lawyers are assessing the cost of shooting God up to heaven from the top of Snowdon or Great Gable.
God declined to say how he arrived in Britain though his shawl gave us a clue .
She signed in for benefits as Jessy Christ and said she had two husbands.At the time she was labelled as border line schizophrenic but the Father and the Spirit were found in her council house. feeding some beggars.To have a council house in Walthamstow is a miracle in itself these days
God will be getting a reduction in her housing benefit
He can sleep in one bedroom if the bed is large enough [Infinitely]In f,act,does God ever sleep?If not he can be moved to a single room.
Why God came here is not known as yet.
However he has been a great burden on the Economy as he has so many gainfully.
His English is ok grammatically but we were told he has a “foreign accent and so many children that the Social Services can’t count them all”
He/She had no papers or identity cards.
God has asked that all the Medieval Cathedrals in the UK be returned to the Catholic Church as his son does not like Anne Boleyn very much.Nor any of the Royals.
We’ll let you know more about the drain on the Economy and whether God caused the Recession in the next day or two.

The television screen is a window

The TV screen is a window into another world.Unlike the window in the front room here,it does not show real people going about their affairs.No.it shows a world which has been carefully constructed.Some programs are beautiful.Some nowadays are live shows where people meet various challenges.Sometimes these can be very damaging,as can live interviews.It;s strange to see one’s PM wearing makeup.And that’s the least of it!

You can watch violence,murder or pornography if you wish or hear orchestras playing your favorite music.Extend your choice with DVD’s.Spend all your life glued to the screen….which glue is best?I’ll let you know soon.

Then there are the political aspects..I did not watch much of the grand funeral here last week of   our ex PM Maggie Thatcher but I saw enough to show it’s being used by the current government to raise their own esteem in the public eye.A politician should never have a funeral with  military honors with the coffin on a gun carriage pulled by horses and the same week poor families had their welfare cut back.Ten million pounds on this event which also was very provocative to the worst off members of society.

St Francis SOS

They can construct this kind of event and by means of it manipulate our feelings.State and ceremonial funerals are for the Royal Family who are above party politics or for someone lke Churchill who led us through the fight against Nazi Germany.

Windows…. like dreams…. think about whether someone is presenting you with a view for their own ulterior motives and not to enlarge your view of the world

Humor

.April 2013 – Margaret Thatcher dies.
May 2013 – Hell privatised.

Shares available in Hell’s kitchen soon.

The sanctioned jobseeker’s story: ‘I’m not proud to say I’ve gone begging’ | Black Triangle Campaign

The sanctioned jobseeker’s story: ‘I’m not proud to say I’ve gone begging’ | Black Triangle Campaign.