Abstract:The limericks

Her manner is rather abstract

It  does not help her to show tact.

She’s in love with ideas

Yet her rents  in arrears.

Let’s hope that her ship is not wrecked.


i saw the abstract for your book.

I’d love a  much closer look.

I’ll invite you  to tea

Then I can see

Just  how discerning you look.

colored tree in sun

I suppose even Monet is abstract,

For his images with bright  dots are packed.

I love them so well

As they both show and tell

Precisely what realism   lackedFace with color 3

Flimflam,the limerick

Flimflam’s an under used word,

As most people think it’s absurd.

But it enriches our tongue

It sings its own song.

It’s the lightest word I’ve ever  heard.

But some people won’t say flimflam

Just ‘cos it rhymes with goddam.

So never say pluck,

Or you’re down on your luck.

Or  the saintly will send you to spam.

I must admit I am surprised

That flimflam in a  limerick’s disguised

My unconscious mind

Always manages to find

A rhyme for most   words  we’ve devised

And therefore I am

middle east 3

Freud was a deep and   bright man

He invented   neuroses , and wham!

We all  got laid faster

by this ancient master

I came to and therefore I am.

The shadows of the past haunted Jung

??????????As round him they oftentimes clung

When he span around

They were laid on the ground

But the mere sight of them bitterly stung.


Adler was  the disciple number three

He  thought power was all,don’t you see?

But he lost Freud’s  hand

As  it lay on the sand

If anything’s queerer, ‘snot me

A bottle of stout

I took the entire vacuum out
nd put in a bottle of stout

Now it don’t clean the floors
And won’t evermore.
Thus I domesticity flout.

I found coats and bags by the score.

but I cannnot go out any more.

So what shall I do

With the superfluous new?

I hate storing ghosts on the floor

I took all the dirt and perceived
That red rugs are an evil indeed.
So buy one in grey
It’s the in thing today.
And the visitors will be deceived

Hyperbole of the day

Her brain is the size of a pea.


Her legs are like the trunks of oak trees.

Her eyes are like the oceans
Her tears make skin lotions;
I mix them with the stings from a bee.

Her smile is like daybreak at night.
She has phenomenalogical sight.
She’s an author de haute
I love toute ses mots
Existentially, this is all very trite

His head is as big as the sun
He has four eyes  and they can all run.
His feet are like lead
And so is his bed.
Yet he’s quite  as chaste as  an  old hot cross bun.

My cat is as big as lion
I call her Ms Ariel from Zion.
She bites foxes and sheep
And made a dog weep.
I am unsure if she ought to stop tryin’

Phenomenology (from Greek phainómenon “that which appears” and lógos “study”) is the philosophical study of the structures of experience and consciousness.
Phenomenology (philosophy) – Wikipedia, the free …

Study in blue with limericks

  • Study in blue

I wore a mitten

I was looking at a clothes catalogue just now and thought,
That’s a nice pair of gloves.
When I looked again I saw it was a party dress.
Oh,my.I must need my eyes testing.
I shall be alright as long as I don’t go out in a glove by mistake for a dress.



I went out in a mitten last night
I gave all the neighbours a fright.
They are collecting for me
To buy me some tea….
Now a tea bag would be a fine sight.

Or how about being dressed in some peel
Which off any banana I’d steal.
Then I’d give men the slip
As they slid off my hip
Some days I almost feel real.

All the winter coats are being sold off
As the autumn was not freezing or rough.
But I wear woolen vests,
Which keep off the pests.
Though men are endearingly tough.

I now believe we is a flea

They gave me a prick in my arm
And said I must keep it quite warm
So I fell into the fire
Oh,how I perspired…
But as usual I kept very calm

It’s meant to protect me from flu.
And vomiting string and from glue.
But it gave me diarrhea.
I can’t say cr*p here.
So please send me or email a clue.

They try to prevent us being ill.
Yet they also advise writing a will.
Do we never die?
Is this life a lie?
Of questions we all have our fill

It’s heaven on earth when we see
That I am you and you’re me.
We’re all potentially divine,
As beer is like wine…
I now believe we is a flea

I asked,why do you smoke when we kiss?


My husband is so enigmatic

he makes  Mona Lisa  dramatic.

Except for the night

The bed set alight

And he screamed on a scale near chromatic.


I said, why do you smoke when we kiss?

Apart from that,love is pure bliss

He said,my heart is on fire,

The smoke ascapes via

My mouth. my nose,my desire

The gay nurses wink

My husband stole my shoes yesterday

As for his own,he’s reluctant to pay.

I hope that’s the end

I shall go round the bend

If my clothes keep on going his way.


For  what will the doctors all think

If he wears underwear that’s pale pink?

He will say he’s going blind

And that was all he could find.

Then I shall observe all the gay  nurses wink


I once had a cat who loved being

Her eyes were much brighter fot seeing

She foresaw the recession

Though not the depression

If only I `d heard her confession

To love me and the whole human race

I once read the lines on your face

In between each was a space

I knew what it meant:

that you were sent

to love me and  to fill me with grace

Oh,won’t you give me a kiss?

Autumn 2013 047 2

I once had a boyfriend from Diss
Who was too shy to give me a kiss.
He gazed with round eyes,
Whenever I told lies
Which rather depleted my bliss.

I rarely tell lies to my lovers
As round me like birds they all hover.
I never succumb
Which makes them feel glum,…
But love is not worth all the bother.

I prefer conversation to sex
And I prefer money to cheques.
We all have our view
On what we should do.
I even prefer talking to texts

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