Tag: friends

Dear Dr.Kay

Dear Dr.Kay
Please help me.I have far fewer fiends than my friends do and I feel envious.Where did they get them from?Is it too late for me.I have a little devil here in my house but he’s shy.I do have a demon too but after being out through the wringer he’s become an angel.

I don’t wish to become sinful but do I need to use more coarse language to attract fiends and if so how can I learn it.I believe TV plays are one possibility.
Is there a helpline for fiendless ladies?And is it free?I am getting short of money as the dentist has stolen most of it and wants even more.
Or should I get a man to take me to a nightclub?What will happen?I hear yiu have to go to bed now on the first date.Well,suppose you don;t like their odour and their beards?
Is there a website where I could buy 3 or 4 fiends? And if they become toxic can I dispose of them safely like old computers?
Thanks for reading and looking forward to a response
Yours sincerely
Nut case 

Friendship’s perils

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Most people like and need  to have a group of friends.And now on the net we can make friends at a distance by sharing writing and thoughts..However this is not without its risks.I how know that a person who tells you all their problems very early in a relationship is not a good person to befriend.I believe it is better to get to know someone slowly

.A person who tells you about their trauma and trouble is looking for a helper,not a friend.And it is a kind of manipulation.On the internet such people can study your writing for weeks or months and then make a move.

People complain of loneliness when they have a partner and a family and friends.Why do you think you can help them?Are you really any better than their present friends?Are you flattered they tell you this?Beware.Inevitably you will reveal you are a mere human like all others….. and then they will take umbrage and bitterly complain about your lack of sensitivity.Or if you ask for courtesy they will be offended because all they write or say is  of course perfect,iIf they hurt you,it is you that is too sensitive…nothing they do can have done could cause anyone pain. So take it slow especially on the net and with people from other cultures.They can drop you from a great height

How modern technology may affect friendship

I believe many of us agree that when we have friends whoBlue flower in a dream 2 live some distance away email is a very good way of keeping in touch.Of course we had the phone for that purpose but the advantage of email is that it can be read when most convenient to the recipient.And we can send photos or other attachments.Texting is similar.Next time you meet your friend you will feel closer because they are up to date with your life.

A different problem occurs with friends made online whom you have never met.The same feelings can develop here as in real life.Valuable friendships can be developed with people  in any part of  the world.

A big problem can come when one party decides without discussion to end the friendship  after what seemed a mutual dependency and caring

So it makes sense to see if your friend is willing to give you their phone number and address.If not then I would be wary of getting any deeper in the relationship.Remember you don’t really know who that person is.And there are many people out there seeking for vulnerable people to fulfill their needs.People who cannot make friends in the flesh

Do they seem to want you more as a listener to their woes and not be willing to hear yours?Whether in real life or online, narcissism is  a big problem.And such people may have great charisma.Beware!Charisma is a tool for manipulation.

I do know of successful friendship .even marriage, between people who met online.On the other hand I know some people devastated by cruel pretend friendships.Men who move from woman to woman on a whim.

Different cultures too may have different rules.In some places a woman who  just talks to a man online is thought of as a whore.Not to mention the problems of language and translation.I know one woman who is not recovered after two years after being thrown off like an old glove!I know it happens in real life too but there you can generally discuss problems

Obviously it’s always going to be chancy and though I am usually quite brave,I would be wary of a man or woman seeking closer friendship online  who is unwilling to give me his/her phone number.An email address is not the same

The problem  with modern communication is that it’s like the nuclear bomb….. we want to try  it  out even if we have nothing much to say.Better to make more real life friends or join a forum with shared interests or even shared health problems.You can help or be helped there.Just having a tablet or i phone tempts us to use them.