NHS ADVICE

“You should also cough and sneeze into tissues  before binning them”

There was I, just throwing clean ones into the garbage

MY ADVICE

No toilet paper?

Cut the newspaper into squares, make a hole through one corner.Thread onto string and hang on a hook near the lav

How about those books you  hate?

Leonard Cohen in my computer.I love his profile

Since  the Christians’ God has three male parts, is he a trans-sexual? Or  is at least one of them
Though if  one were female he could have reproduced with himself as it were
However we would not see his children then.By having a human mother Jesus was visible to all who lived in Nazareth or Galilee.Though no photos have been seen
As Jesus was a man, it seems God might be human after all.And has not existed since before time began

I think I’d better stop before I offend everybody
I thought God was here before we were but I’m only a mathematician so what do I know?

My sister took this photo in Europe.Holland I believe.

I was at  walking to the bus stop and hoping he would see me as I can’t run.When the bus got near me the driver put on the indicator light.It’s only a little bus but I felt it was  like person sending me a message

The abscess  then the lump of ironstone
Who is living in me with such scorn?
My mouth negates my speach, the  dual form

The latest self is struggling with the worms
Will this goddess ever be reborn?
The abscess  then the lump of ironstone

Am I, myself reduced to  scattered bones?
I must pray, I hear the harp and horn
My mouth negates my speach, the  dual tones

In the distance, ancient seas still moan
While I am here alone and unadorned
The abscess  bursts, the yellow pus is foam

A seabird sits in silence on a  cone
An image of the loss, a love forlorn
My mouth negates my speach, the  dual tones

Oh, for love’s restraint, life’s overdrawn
The tiger’s teeth, its eye,  its cruel claws
What is worse, to die or  live through storms?
My mouth negates my   mind,I  am a  stone

Why God made me alluring I don’t know
To cut my vanity he bent my toes
Not far from climbing trees, my feet were hands
Confined to shoes, a bunion  made them bend

Thus I’m half evolved,my mind is sharp
My body is still monkey in its parts
Of course I have no fur so I must dress
Am I  proof that Darwin was remiss?

For how can head evolve but feet  do not
In the embryo  or in a cot?
I am neither beast nor am I man
My face may tempt  my toes are also ran

Nothing is as perfect as a smile
An ugly face   can swiftly   men beguile

Alfred, my one time cat

I decided  to put the black laces into the  patent leather brogues
But  I discovered they are brown not black
Still who wants everything matching?

What a day.All I wanted was some black shoe laces.I need to have some kind of fastening and I have some black patent brogues.
Can your feet lose weight when the rest of you doesn’t?
I took out the laces and wore the shoes without  any but now they flop about.Ask me where I  haveput the laces.I have no idea… have I got ADD or am I  just not very wise?
I decided being a bit off colour I’d take a cab.The cab was  £5.The shoe laces were £4 for 2 pairs.No doubt I’ll lose one soon
Of course I needed coffee and an iced bakewell tart I guess it was £4
That seems £13…. just because I needed the shoe laces.Moreover some of my other shoes are now too wide.Why have my feet   shrunk while my body is the same size
Will my hands shrink soon?
Then to economise I wanted the bus.I just missed it and then entered a posh hair dressers
Yes,madam?
May I use your WC? It hurts me to walk all the way  to the Mall?
Of course
When I came out the next bus was due.It was 17 minutes so one was missing
And when your knees hurt those plastic seats are hell.I mean it
So.I’ll throw those shoes out…… if I can find them!
Yesterday I staggered onto the road.I haven’t  drunk alcohol since 1987
Apparently I screamed ,help me.What next?I was only getting down the kerb which is hard when you have no depth vision
An angel will come down and take me to heaven.I won’t need Visions there
Was that my life?

Thanks to Mike for this astounding photograph

http://mrburkemath.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/x-why-mini-algebra-problems.html

http://www.britannica.com/biography/Charles-Hermite

Hermite  might not have succeeded nowadays as passing exams was not easy for him.I suspect he was a person who preferred to  spend his time  on his own  interests in Mathematics and to neglect his wider studies

I have referred in some of   my  Stan  stories to the number “e”.Hermite was the first to prove  that e is not an algebraic number.

http://www.mathsisfun.com/numbers/transcendental-numbers.html

{ see the article].

It may surprise many people that there are different kinds of numbers  ,beginning with the integers 1.2.3…… and the rational numbers  [fractions like 1/2 4/5   89/54 etc.]
The Babylonians discovered  the  ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter was fixed regardless of the size of the circle.We call it pi.It is not an integer nor a raional number.The number of integers is infinite.

“The ancient Babylonians calculated the area of a circle by taking 3 times the square of its radius, which gave a value of pi = 3. One Babylonian tablet (ca. 1900–1680 BC) indicates a value of 3.125 for pi, which is a closer approximation.” [from link below]

They used 3 as an approximation and  in the Hebrew Bible 400 BCE the Temple was  made using 3 as an approximation. Archimedes got closer.But.   like e, pi cannot be expressed as a fraction.
Some other numbers like the square root of 2 are irrational  [ that is,not fractions[ but they are algebraic.As in x squared =2

Relating to Solomon’s temple.They used pi =3.It is in the  Hebrew Bible

Real numbers are all numbers from integers to the transcendental and they are uncountably infinite
Pi and e are called transcendental numbers.We don’t know many other
Yet
“The set of transcendental numbers is uncountably infinite. Since the polynomials with rational coefficients are countable, and since each such polynomial has a finite number ofzeroes, the algebraic numbers must also be countable. However, Cantor’s diagonal argument proves that the real numbers (and therefore also the complex numbers) are uncountable. Since the real numbers are the union of algebraic and transcendental numbers, they cannot both be countable. This makes the transcendental numbers  uncountably infinfte

Quote from article below {Euler is usually credited with this]

– See more at: http://www.historytoday.com/patricia-rothman/william-jones-and-his-circle-man-who-invented-pi#sthash.4bbJtftH.dpuf

http://www.historytoday.com/patricia-rothman/william-jones-and-his-circle-man-who-invented-pi

https://www.exploratorium.edu/pi/history_of_pi/

http://mrburkemath.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/x-why-mini-algebra-problems.html

This is meant to be humorous

https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/94634/what-is-a-trope-and-how-does-it-differ-from-a-metaphor

Extract

Metaphor is only one kind of trope. Trope is any rhetorical technique that describes something in non-literal ways.

For example, metonymy is a technique where one word is replaced with a phrase that is related but is literally different, such as “the law” for police.

Synecdoche is using a part to describe the whole: “Can you give me a hand?”.

Irony is the use of words with opposite meaning, such as saying “You’re looking well.” to someone who is clearly quite sick.

There are also some expressions that are not considered as fully fledged tropes but as sub-tropes.

Here are two websites to get started on tropes: http://users.aber.ac.uk/dgc/Documents/S4B/sem07.html http://www.academia.edu/3793667/The_Fourth_Master_Trope

(The latter website may explain the information you have been given: “The late-twentieth-centurywidespread reduction to one master trope, metaphor, especially under the influence of Lakoff and Johnson (1980), is the most radical (and absurd) of these projects.”