Mary went into town to collect her new giasses from Specdivers.Choosing frames was hard but this time she had done it quickly by taking the first pair she saw to the optometrist
They were almost tortoiseshell suitable for a mathematician who was a former expert on Dirac and many dimensional space
However there were one or two red dots on and Mary liked things whih were slightly unusual as indeed was Dirac.Have you ever met anyone called Dirac?
Me,neither but I like it.Short and sweet as mother used to say
When Mary got home she found Annie waiting in the yellow walled ,red floored kitchen
Here you are, a nice cup of tea, she cried, holding an Art Deco mug out
You sound like a character from Barbara Pym.The latter was their favoutite novelist
Let me see your new glasses
Mary put them on.
Oh,dear Lord, what possessed you?
Why,what’s wrong?
They have red splotches on the front and the sides are pink and white.I’ve never seen anything like this.I might wear them but you need gold frames or old tortoiseshell.
I don’t see the logic in that,Mary cried,although pink and red do clash
And you havea lot of heather coloured clothes.They don’t go with red.What do you think Emile?
Emile sat by the fire glaring at the two women.
We don’t need spectacles, he mewed
No, because all the cats with short sight were eaten by crocodiles,said Mary
What a pity that didn’t happen to humans,Annie mused
Is that a Freudian slip?
No,it’s from Marks and Spencers, Annie whispered
But short sight must be cultural.. it’s since children were taught to read.
Eyes were made for looking for prey and seeing where the stars were in the sky.Not to mention looking for people to mate with.Short sight is useful in bed but not when driving a car., Annie finished
Maybe too much sex in the marriage bed makes your eyes focus too near you.said Mary
Well,you can’t have sex when you are on the other side of the room and the bed would have to be 25 feet wide,Annie retorted.
Well,I suppose the Queen could have a big bed but as she is 93 it may be too late
But she could tell William and Harry…..Mary pondered on this
Well,I like them and they will make me look younger although older ladies with too much makeup on can look sad.
Never mind,said Annie.You can wear them at the weekend
But not at work?
I don’t think so.You might give students the wrong impression.
I would be happy if I had any effect on them!
I’ll come and watch, said Emile.I’ve always loved algebraic topology with the rubber doughnuts and infinitely expandable spaces in ten dimensions
But you can’t read Emile,Annie murmured.How can you know all this?
I listen to Mary when she is practising her lectures ustairs. the cat said joyfully
And to think I thought you were staring at me out of sheer love
Well, that too,murmured Emile
And so will all of us

https://www.vox.com/2015/7/7/8903123/small-talk

Speech says things, but it also does things

We need not get too far in the weeds. At a general level, it’s simply important to remember that every speech act operates on two levels. On one level, it communicates information or ideas. This is the semantic content of the speech, i.e., what the words mean.

On another level, talking is a social behavior. Every speech act is an act, meant not only to communicate something but to do something: reassure, acknowledge, nurture, enjoin, reject, dominate, encourage, or just fill awkward silence. We can think of this as the social function of a speech act. Unlike semantic content, social function cannot be understood in isolation, just by examining the words. Social function depends entirely on context, on tone and body language, on the interpersonal roles being played, on historical and environmental cues. It only makes sense relative to context.

All speech acts operate on both levels, but the ratio of social function to semantic content differs along a continuum. In some circumstances, speech acts take on an almost entirely communicative role: a surgeon narrating her surgery; a surveillance pilot describing troop movements; a university lecturer describing an episode of history.

But cases of purely communicative speech are more the exception than the rule, found in specialized professional or academic settings. As sociolinguists have come to appreciate, in day-to-day human interaction speech is a social, relational behavior. That’s why everyday patterns and rituals of speech are worthy of study; they reveal the social fabric.

She thinks she is God

No she can’t spell

.But she does know everything

Can God be bad at spelling?

He doesn’t need language.

Can he read?

I suppose Moses might know

He is dead

Is he really?

He must be.

Well stone the crows

Good Evening

Don’t kill your chickens before they hatch.

Don’t kill yourself for your own children.Adopt mine free.

Don’t destroy your marriage without careful planning.

Don’t be get too fat to dance the polka.

Residents must inform the staff in advance if they are getting an infectious disease.

Similarly if you get diarrhea please tell us 24 hours before if you won’t need dinner.

There is always a choice of food

Tuna sandwiches

Tuna pie

Tuna on toast.

Apple tart or sweet

Apple crumble.

Crocodile eyes on flat bread.

Crucified crocodile tongue

Er we .,…..erred

Tadpole junket

Tadpole stew

Frog’s legs in batter

Apple in batter

Tuna in batter on hot lettuce leaf

The end of life may vary in its ways.

In the end our spirit will remain

Noise seems louder when we feel depressed

The Weight of young folks voices on me pressed.

Wrapped in your smile,I saw the golden light
As if  a hidden world  our love revealed
Our spirits touched, our sorrows pushed to flight

In that space,  our anguish did not bite
The trees were shelter, losses were each  healed
Wrapped in your holy smile,I saw the light

Do you  learn there is a second sight
From  heart and soul , the golden bells  shall peal
Where spirits touch ,where sorrows quickly fly

And who but you would see my inner plight
Would know the false from  what is right and real
Wrapped in your smile,I  felt warm golden light

No army with its metal and its might
Can win the final war , love conquers steel
As spirits touch ,as sorrows  say goodbye

I know it’s  hard to learn what others feel
And not draw back  from grief, from loss revealed
Wrapped in your  holy smile ,O golden light
Our spirits touch, our  eyes  weep  their delight

I sense a feel of panic in the air

As if the Ark is not quite waterproof

I wonder if we’d welcome Tony Blair and

To the poor this life was never fair

But now it seems unreal, is it a spoof?

I sense a piece of Putin in the air

I am looking in the mirror at my hair

It looks like Boris Johnson’s but more louche

I wonder if we’d dye old Tony Blair’s

He’s happy Britain’s weakened with fake truth

I feel a sense of monsters much too near,

Putin won his Trump with that strange hair

The Russian wolf is licking his rich fur

Now it’s cyber warfare on the hoof

Will he soon take Leave from Tony Blair?

The Russians in Crimea are still there

The Ukraine weeps because we did not care

I sense a feel of Russia in the air

I wonder if they’ll fragment us and tear

Copyright © Katherine Braithwaite | Year Posted 2020

    Look to the owl as he flies,

    Like a god winging across the wide skies.

    His broad yellow gaze

    Lets attention be paid

    To all that surrounds his fierce eyes.

    Some days are sad and blue

    And then we feel lonely too;

    Or we cause rifts.

    Some days are doldrum days.

    Some days are like bad plays.

    Not such a gift.

    Most days have joyful parts.

    Most days we lift our hearts.

    They pass all too swift.

    Some days love speaks to me.

    Some days I feel so free.

    I love my craft.

    Life is a patterned weave.

    Love helps us when we grieve.

    Love is a raft.

    See how the sun comes back.

    See how light fills the gaps..

    Some days we laugh.

    Weep now and I’ll weep with you.

    I have known sorrow too.

    Yet sorrow will pass.

    Joy is not far away.

    Joy will return one day….

    Life’s  art and craft.

L

.

The doctor gave us pills of gold

He says they stop us growing old.

Is he honest, does he lie?

If he does I wonder why..

Maybe money is the cause.

Here we notice cats have paws.

Dogs have paws but are not cats

Have you ever seen a bat?

See the logic hidden there

You and I are quite a pair.

Children cannot think or concentrate

Who can find the remedy for hate?

Who controls the mighty and the rich

The naked king,the angel and the witch.

The British people need a man to hate.

Not Boris but Prince Harry they will take.

Eyes as blind as bats can estimate

Who was it felt the fatal strange distaste?

If you think a piece of bread is the body of Jesus are you crazy?

No because millions of people in the Catholic Church believe in the same thing.

If you believe your shoes can walk about when nobody is wearing them you are likely to be sent to a psychiatrist.

I think if alot of people share a belief it may not be true in the usual sense but it may have value

Jn a Catholic Mass sharing the body of Christ binds people together and may give them strength

Whereas odd beliefs about your shoes may not be very useful to anyone but you.

I could believe it because my shoes often end up on opposite sides of the room though I take them off together.

Maybe there are elves moving things at night!

It may explain something but it’s not very interesting.

w

K

He was not suffering from dementia He was glad to forget anything he could.

He died before he was diagnosed so they brought him back and asked if he wanted to be resuscitated

No, he said.I have seen your ugly mug twice already I’d feel better in hell than this rehab unit.Since when do you send dying people here?

The doctor said you fell over.

Not unusual in men with 90 per cent heart failure.

You are very intelligent

It is no help to the dying.

We have no boundaries when we grow too old.

Unless we have blithe spirits rich and bold

They will tick us off for unmade beds

Give us soup and tea when we lie still.

Who will notice when we’re stiff and dead

Tell the nurse we have not paid the bill

Grandad died at home I thought him old

He worked in the mines was black with coal

He had raised 6 children on his own .

He never grumbled, suffered all alone.

He gave me 5 pound notez when I was tall

21 years old and sorting mail.

Then I grew away and live down here .

Lord forgive my sins,I hated fear

The surgeon asked if he could cut my knickers off..

I said, will you do the angiogram first?

Anyway they are not mine They belong to the hospital.

Did they want them back?

Not when they’d been cut off.

I suppose they would have been dead after that.

The elastic was too tight.

For what?

Circulation

I have studied  and I’ve got my last degree
My heart has learned its lessons one by one.
I’m a graduate of the grief academy

I didn’t know how painful it would be
When the one I loved is here and then is gone
I’ve been studied  and  I got the third degree

The tears I wept  could wash out the Dead Sea
Remove the salt and scour the shore till done
I’m a graduate of the grief academy

I know well we must die,we cannot flee
We turn to dust and that is not much fun
I have studied  and I’ve got my last degree

It’s not  News, nothing for the BBC
Unless you’re Stephen Hawkings, that great man
We’re graduates of the grief academy

We can’t control life with a self made plan
God is gone though prayer  might well begin
I have suffered till I got a new degree
I’m a graduate of the grief academy

Useful information here

Hello, mother, cried Emile as Mary came through the front door.
What’s happened
The doctor was not wearing a mask and she says I have to go out and play Bingo
That seems odd.
Mary made them both pilchard sandwiches topped with vanilla ice cream.And wondere what was wrong with her
Suddenly she realised the pain had a curious intensity, like she had felt in her teeth /jaw just before an angina attack
Out came the GNT spray which she aimed under her tongue,using Guy’s Hospital method
Wow,said Emile.That looks weird.Can I have some?
Emile, it is what bombs are made of.It could kill a cat
In a few minutes the pain was gone and Mary felt relieved though angry
In ran Annie in pink leisure clothes and green Mary Jane shoes
I like your shoes,Mary said.Where did you get them?
I found then at the back of the wardrobe
I think I shall look in my wardrobe, though some shoes I had kept for best disintegrated
Where?
I was having tea with Dorothy.I looked down and saw lots of black spots on her carpet.It was the soles of my shoes.She was very kind and just got her dust pan and brush
I think we should wear the things we love now, not save them for some imaginary future,Annie murmured like a pike that has just seen Ted Hughes in its dreams
Guess what I have bought,Mary cried
A new mug?
No, a coat the colour of dark grey stone wallss
I don’t like the sound of that.Shall we call Dave?
No, it’s ok,I am pleased I can sit on walls in the winter
You are easily pleased,Annie informed her.Most women want new kitchens, Le Creuset pots, clothe s and shoes
I have enough,Mary responded.
But who defines what is enough? When I went for an interview for Uni it was on a Tuesday.I wore my only blouse on Sunday so I wore it again though the collar was dirty and my cardigan made by Mother was not a success as the button band was not the right length as it twisted
I went over the Pennines by train in the worst winter ever and arrived for my interview with no money for a sandwich for my lunch
The men interviewing mte asked why I wanted to do maths
I said,I want to do research.I had already discovered something myself though later I saw Pascal had discovered it.He had better notation which helps
They burst out laughing and slapped their thighs.At least they didn’t sexually abuse me
I had never seen men with manicured hands before
How did you feel?
In those days I didn’t feel,Mary told Annie.I wish I were like that now
At least they accepted you,Annie whispered.Let’s not bring up the past
It seems to come up by itself
And so say all of us

How did you get into Oxford?

I just got off the train and turned left

Did you pass the Entrance Exam?

Where is it? Carfax?

It you passed it you are very clever.

I pass lots of things just walking down the street.

Well don’t pass go!

Patients must not bring animals into the ward unless they are registered blind

So where can I get a blind cat from? Are they tax deductible?

Patients must be polite at all times unless they are wealthy

What about the doctors?

The doctor apologised when

I gave birth.

He said, oh dear He looks like me.Does your husband have good eyesight?

So I said,at least it’s not twins.

One might have looked like him!

Well it may have been better

Not if they were meant to be identical.

In early June the flowers are fresh and bright.

Massed in vases what a lovely sight

Mary was feeling very tense; her back was aching.
Oh dear she moaned to her cat Emile. what a pity I can’t go to the beauty salon for a massage. I feel like it would do me so much good
Her little cat was very worried.
What can we do ?
I have got a bright idea ,said Mary. you can massage my back
I don’t think that my paws are  big enough
I know what to do Mary cried. If I lie on the bed with my back bare you can put some hand cream on your paws. then you can walk up and down my spine.
Off course you will have to wash your paws first.

 I have got a better idea as a cat. I will go out and get Smokey who is in the shed and Dusty he lives up the road and all the three of us can walk up and down your back

 I suppose that since I am the biggest one I will walk in the middle and they can walk on either side of me

 Emile left to collect his friends while Mary got a shallow dish of warm water and a towel so that the cats could wash their paws after they came through the cat flap from the garden

  She carried a large tub of moisturising cream upstairs and lay down on the bed with nothing on but her skirt and some stiletto heels plus a scarf and hat in merino woo;

 Suddenly she heard a loud voice.

 Where are you Mary she heard this very loud cry
Go away,Annie said Emile, go away mother is having a sleep

Ok I’ll come back at 5  oclock. she heard the kitchen door close and a few minutes later in  ran the three cats ready to help her

My goodness what would Annie have  thought if she  had seen Mary lying on the bed?
Mary put some cream from the moisturiser tub on to a plate so that the cats could get their feet covered
She lay face down on the bed  and she felt the soft pads of their feet on her back
Lovely she cried

 Emile mewed, Now keep parallel to me and press your feet down firmly as you walk. The three cats walk slowly up her back until they reached her shoulders
Now do do a 180-degree turn and slowly very slowly tread down Mary’s back until you come to her waist
All of the cats kept well in line firmly but gently down there is aching bad
 Do it again Mary  called

Smokey  and Dusty  were surprised  but Emile was used to the strange ways of human beings especially Mary and Annie who has been very distressed when poor dear Stan had been taken away from them
This is how grief affects some people They do the most odd things. but in another sense it seems a very sensible thing to do;it certainly helped Mary’s back
When she told them that she was feeling better they stood up on their hind legs and with paws touching they dancted around in a little circle on her back while Mary sang

 Here We Go Gathering nuts in May

 Unfortunately there was nobody there to take their photograph  but if you have someone might be able to arrange for something like this for yourself

 Otherwise tie a soft cloth on the end of a brush and and rub your back with this.

 Do  make sure that no one can see you through the window because you would have to take your clothes off

 You might live in a nudist colony  and then it will be alright 
I think I’m going to do it myself after I have a cup of tea. I will  put my raincoat on and go outside to see if I can find any cats roaming around at dusk
I do have a black cat that sleeps on the landing on the hot water pipe but unfortunately he doesn’t speak English
And nor do all of us

Where are we when we are deep in thought?

In a photo sometimes we are caught

Our eyes are still as we are

looking in

Hoping to discover love not sin.

Do we search our conscience far too much?

Let God take half the blame,we must go Dutch

Don’t kill yourself to finish that project by the weekend

Shall I wait till it’s complete?

It will kill your mother if you have a baby

What would happen if I had a monkey!

We want exciting news,the Queen must die .

Balmoral murder,killed by MI5

Disguised as horses, agents gathered near

Wondering if her Majesty drank beer.

They were sent to Epsom where they raced

It made them breathless and deep red of face.

They were furloughed or they worked from home

Balmoral was too far away to comb.

The Queen still lived and she turned 96

They say she has goats milk in weetabixy

https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/tip-sheet/article/67591-the-10-best-emily-dickinson-poems.html

BY EMILY DICKINSON

Wild nights – Wild nights!

Were I with thee

Wild nights should be

Our luxury!

Futile – the winds –

To a Heart in port –

Done with the Compass –

Done with the Chart!

Rowing in Eden –

Ah – the Sea!

Might I but moor – tonight –

In thee!

Dickinson poems are electronically reproduced courtesy of the publishers and the Trustees of Amherst College from THE POEMS OF EMILY DICKINSON: VARIORUM EDITION, Ralph W. Franklin, ed., Cambridge, Mass: The Belknap Press of Harvard University of Press, Copyright © 1988 by the President and Fellows of Harvard College

Might I but moor – tonight –