Attracted by the window and the light I walked towards it, those were my first steps The memory of an act creates insight
Oh,mother I can leave you,I can fight Now I move and noone can me stop Desirous of the window and the light
Implicit in the action is the flight Growing is not smooth, it is abrupt The memory of an act creates insight
Yet somewhere other, there is greater might That one day caused me angst, that made me trip Humbled by the window and the light
After every day, there comes a night Abjection is the cup that each must sip The repeating of an act creates insight
Children are not injured when they slip When they rise, they quickly can forget Attracted by the window and the sight We all must stand and walk but in curved lines
At Whitsuntide we celebrate The Holy Dove who will remake The life within the human soul With clear intent to make us whole For our life is no mistake We’re here to live, be not afraid For virtue is why we are made But also laughter, be not staid At Whitsuntide Some are silent ,some create Some are cruel and devastate We tell stories new and old The dove brings peace which us enfolds At Whitsuntide
Mock certain soup Marmite on sliced lead posted Scrambled legs on real hosts Jellied heels and arm cakes
Mains
Roasted spam and mixed wedges Mock chicken’s chest in green sauce and true potatoes Limb chops on a bed of onions and mashed tunes Cauliflower -let’s -have- you plus green ballad and lemon dressing
Puddings
Blackcurrant whistle and dream Plum’s heart with bastard Jam sponge with lemon voice. Spotted Flick and scream Xmas pudding in vices and custard Chuck ices and choice of hoist Almond part [home made] and creme du jour and my wife free
Free tea for pensioners.£2.50 per pot.Bring your own mugs
The War that did not end in ’45 Continues its trajectory of grief Victorious, the people who survived The War that did not end in ’45 On our backs ,the consequences ride We will ignore the eyes of those who died. While the gods of death float through our minds like leaves The War that did not end in ’45 Continues in its maintenance of grief
Do you think it is bad not to have what you want? Then consider that whether we call it to unconscious,god,nature, there is a part of ourselves which is in touch with something wiser and that may be something we don’t pay attention to maybe because of business.But sometimes we really need to do so and we are forced into idleness and torment so that we stop our activities and listen.
a gesture in which a person kisses the tips of their pinched-together fingers and thumb and then waves the hand with the fingers splayed, in order to indicate that something is excellent.”the video is truly worthy of a chef’s kiss”
used in reference to someone or something outstanding.”her larger-than-life earrings are a chef’s kiss”
Mary was in her front room looking for the Jewish Cookery book by Penguin.She couldn’t see it,so said to herself,Jesus Christ, you’re losing it,Mary, As she turned to walk away, the book fell onto her head. Thank you,Lord, she said in a mildly sarcastic tone of voice.There was no response She went into the bijou kitchen covered in cerulean blue tiles by her late husband Stan, while he was still in this world. Why not make a cup of tea, she asked herself politely Just then the back door opened and her neighbour Annie ran in.She was dressed in indigo and green striped trousers with a scarlet top and scarf. Her face glowed with Avenue Oat and Lentil CC moisturiser with sunscreen and she had green mascara on her eyelashes from Rive Sans Torrent de Paris and Bruxelles. which matched her trainers and her eye glasses. May I have tea? she said shyly.I‘ve just been to my English Grammar lesson Yes,you will be very welcome,Mary said.But why bother now to learn the difference between MAY I and CAN I? I feel better if I am more confident,Annie said.And the tutor is very handsome Is it a man? Mary asked That seems grammatically erroneous.IT refers to a non-human object What should I say? Is she a man, is he a man,are they a man,is that a man? Mary wondered. Well, they could even be something else,Annie told her Don’t say any more or Jordan Peterson will be here shouting at you I am puzzled by him,Mary said.He said he was a therapist but his voice is not very mellifluous and you’d have to be careful what you said to him. Like, you hate housework and prefer to try to solve Fermat’s Last Theorem? Annie whispered nervously Well,yes, but with a therapist you need to be relaxed and say whatever comes into your head,like Canadians were redeemed by St.Eliezer a Cohen,usually referred to as Leonard but I can’t see JP getting on with him Leonard loved women but he was never actually married legally.JP would hate him. He looks very cross and annoyed despite a marriage and family.I wonder if he helps his wife to cook the dinner,Annie pondered Not likely, Mary said as she looked through her Jewish cookery book. I might make a cheesecake tomorrow, she cried.I need a new recipe as I’ve met a man online and we are taking a picnic to the Park. Are you sure, he/it/they is/are a man? Annie said politely How can one be now,said Mary.I suppose he/they want to pass as a man but I hope he is a biological man if we are to marry. He might be gay,Annie told her Then why would he ask me out? Because he is a mathematician and he wants to discuss surreal numbers,Annie giggled Would you join SoulMates and pay a fee just to talk about those? Mary replied in a puzzled way. I guess it’s cheaper than taking a train to Oxford and sneaking into the Maths Institute,Annie informed her. OK,I shall bear that in mind.What shall I wear? In the park you might sit on the grass so wear some thick trousers and a wool sweater I won’t look very charming in those,Mary said furtively, afraid Emile her cat might get angry if he knew she was dating a new man. Can’t I wear a red dress with flowers all over and a yellow hat? You CAN…. but is it WISE? Yellow attracts insects Well,Mary said,I don’t mind what they are,I just want SOMEONE or SOMETHING to be attracted to me. And so say all of us.Except Emile
The mind is deeper than a well and wider than a star I lose myself in waters deep ,symbolic ,sweet and clear I rest embraced by this love and wish for nothing more I dream I walk in meadows sweet The daisies in my hair
The heart has reasons and desires as if it were a mind If it’s soft as cashmere wool then it will remain kind Yet if it’s hard then it may crack and we will split ,divide I dream I walk by river fleet With heart and mind combined
The other self that dwells alone in privacy divine Needs sacred care and sweet respect and peace from what’s malign The inner nature of us all is given and then transformed I dream I walk on long white sands By seas. blue, crystalline
Annie and Mary I decided they must go back to Rose house before they return home.
How to ring the bell because the door was not left open n caset any of these imprisoned old people who wish to escape and run to the bus stop just outside. It was probably a mistake to have a care home so near to the bus stop.
Maggie was pleased to see them and ask for a cup of tea but the carer said that there were only two of them on duty so that they had no time to make anybody tea.
In the next room to room to Maggir was a woman called Elaine who was 95 years old
One day Elaine had asked Maggie did you think it was better to have dementia or to remain as she was with a normal brain.
Was Elaine thinking that you get privileges if you are demented?
Please don’t pretend that you’ve got dementia because we think you’re going to be able to be screaming a lot more than you do already because they don’t give extra help to those people.
One day I heard them saying to June, you aren’t the only person in here there are 14 other people on this floor
You do not get one to one care here. You have to go somewhere else for that
Oddly although they knew that this poor woman was demented they talked to her as if she was rational and if she was shouting and screaming they would tell her to stop because if she had contol.
And who knows what goes on when she is alone in that room with a member of staff because if they accuse them of doing something wrong they have no evidence.
Like I told him a story, one night the nest brought round my medication and I said where are the three pink tablets?
She said you don’t take pink tablets. Just a minute yes you did take pink ones but they’ve changed to White now.
I took them and swallowed them and then I was very nervous because I didn’t really believe that story and asked to come back to show me the box but she didn’t hurt one out to see the color.
I didn’t make a formal complaint and luckily at no harm with them but when I did discussef it with someone in management they said that it was probably my bad eyesight that made mr6 think it was the wrong colour but if you’re always being pink up to then and it went back to pink the next day and it’s been pink ever since
If they were slightly more mature they would realize that defensiveness is a weakness and it has happened on other occasions and the nurses each said to me thank you very much for telling us that. You are a very clever woman.
You don’t have to be very clever to know what your medication is like when you’ve been taking the several years
Very surprised to hear this story, Annie and Mary nearly burst into tears.
I’m sorry Maggie said maybe I shouldn’t have told you.
No no you were quite right to tell us and I’m going to phone you every week when I go back to knittingham.
Maybe you could imagine that you are an anthropologist visiting a different culture and you can make notes about anything that seems interesting or frightening or worms and then we’ll come up and if a few weeks just for the weekend and you can give them to us or if you can do this on your tablet you can email it to us as if you my email address
maryknits@spirit.net
annieknots@spirit.co.uk
And if you want to know more about this you can get the book
Teach yourself how to be an anthropologist in 50 steps
As Annie and Mary returned to the hotel never much quieter than there have been when they’re left and Emily was having a rest work up to see these two anxious faces staring at him.
In JapanThere are lines drawn in front of every door that people queue up behind. That carries over into these moments of national crisis. After the Tohoku earthquake and the Fukushima crisis in 2011, as people waited in line for resources like food and water, it was incredibly orderly; there was no chaos. There was no stampeding. It was people honoring the wait as a symbol of their interconnectedness. Waiting was not seen as a negative thing. Waiting was seen as a contribution to society. We’re all facing this crisis, and together we will wait for our resources because you are just as important as I am.
Constant rumination kills the soul Restrain your thinking and so become more whole I write the sentence down, just like I speak I find my native tongue lets symbols leak
My mind is like a small holed metal sieve I hope I shall be kind and will forgive What remains is worthy of a place As for my mistakes, I beg your grace
Some minds are deep,clear streams their thoughts like fish Other minds are tortured ,spin and crash Keep on swimming like the drowning frog He turned the milk to butter as he trod
Do not linger long on cruel thoughts Scruples come from Satan, he’s worth naught
Daddy where were you when I was sad I bought you Woodbines in Mather’s corner shop I carried your boiled egg with salt on plate You lay in bed adorned with wreaths of smoke
Uncle Herbert died when I was five Not many of Dad’s brothers left alive But Bert was old and all his children grown He lay inert, the coffin dark, the stone
I saw yours and Grandad’s too, the oak The Cemetery filled with men and broken hearts Baffled grieving we would love seek And for Mum’s mother’s grave, we tried to look
We too will lie gently in the earth In communion with our parents ,love and birth
Mary was feeling very tense; her back was aching. Oh dear she moaned to her cat Emile. what a pity I can’t go to the beauty salon for a massage. I feel like it would do me so much good Her little cat was very worried. What can we do ? I have got a bright idea ,said Mary. you can massage my back I don’t think that my paws are big enough I know what to do Mary cried. If I lie on the bed with my back bare you can put some hand cream on your paws. then you can walk up and down my spine. Off course you will have to wash your paws first.
Art by author
I have got a better idea as a cat. I will go out and get Smokey who is in the shed and Dusty he lives up the road and all the three of us can walk up and down your back
I suppose that since I am the biggest one I will walk in the middle and they can walk on either side of me
Emile left to collect his friends while Mary got a shallow dish of warm water and a towel so that the cats could wash their paws after they came through the cat flap from the garden
She carried a large tub of moisturising cream upstairs and lay down on the bed with nothing on but her skirt and some stiletto heels plus a scarf and hat in merino woo;
Suddenly she heard a loud voice.
Where are you Mary she heard this very loud cry Go away,Annie said Emile, go away mother is having a sleep
Ok I’ll come back at 5 oclock. she heard the kitchen door close and a few minutes later in ran the three cats ready to help her
My goodness what would Annie have thought if she had seen Mary lying on the bed? Mary put some cream from the moisturiser tub on to a plate so that the cats could get their feet covered She lay face down on the bed and she felt the soft pads of their feet on her back Lovely she cried
Emile mewed, Now keep parallel to me and press your feet down firmly as you walk. The three cats walk slowly up her back until they reached her shoulders Now do do a 180-degree turn and slowly very slowly tread down Mary’s back until you come to her waist All of the cats kept well in line firmly but gently down there is aching bad Do it again Mary called
Smokey and Dusty were surprised but Emile was used to the strange ways of human beings especially Mary and Annie who has been very distressed when poor dear Stan had been taken away from them This is how grief affects some people They do the most odd things. but in another sense it seems a very sensible thing to do;it certainly helped Mary’s back When she told them that she was feeling better they stood up on their hind legs and with paws touching they dancted around in a little circle on her back while Mary sang
Here We Go Gathering nuts in May
Unfortunately there was nobody there to take their photograph but if you have someone might be able to arrange for something like this for yourself
Otherwise tie a soft cloth on the end of a brush and and rub your back with this.
Do make sure that no one can see you through the window because you would have to take your clothes off
You might live in a nudist colony and then it will be alright I think I’m going to do it myself after I have a cup of tea. I will put my raincoat on and go outside to see if I can find any cats roaming around at dusk I do have a black cat that sleeps on the landing on the hot water pipe but unfortunately he doesn’t speak English And nor do all of us
If you see things t other people don’t, Like eyes afloat and fish flying quite bare Better keep it to yourself, I say For being odd can lead us to despair
If you see blood dripping down the walls And Jesus getting off his Cross in church Get your eyes glued to the book of prayer Even if your guts begin to lurch.
If God burns bold in bushes near your State Direct him with your Sat Nav to the Gate. Never call him Father, Mother, Mate Just tell him you are busy and you’re late
If us women wish no more to mate Nor bear children, nor elucidate; Is there something evil in control That boils our ova and cremates our souls?
And if the men are unemployed and feeling low Wish not to marry nor to share their woe Well, once we had the coal mines deep and dark And if they saw a golden light they sparked
I won’t tell you of my secrets as it’s night. But keep a candle and the wit to bite
In order to feed the poor could a priest use a sandwich instead of these very small hosts of bread?
And we could accept that all the sandwiches in the box were blessed by blessing one of them them poor people wood have their breakfast. As long as it was done with dignity I don’t see why not.
How my heart speaks 