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Of mother and my sisters, I’m bereft.

Of the four a single one is left

Yet would we like to be a rock or stone?

Unmoved by feelings, heavy,dark, alone?

Though my sisters died, I feel them still.

The connections to my heart negate my will

Yet if my heart were made of metal cold

I would feel no joy though I were bold

The roots of love leave holes when loved ones die

The roots are torn out wildly, love goodbye

I miss my mother and my sisters two

Without such old companions what to do?

Words make cliches, die  when overused

My heart   still aches, for I have lost my muse

Words like weapons wound us when they show

Nothing lasts, the every loss a blow.

Should we be grateful though we are in pain?

Every loss we feel was once a gain

We

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One week before he died my husband said to me,

I am very angry with you. Because you are more intelligent than I am.

So I said, it’s taken  you 45 years to work that out?

So he said, well I just needed your salary, you see.

So I said, it’s mutual.

He said he was angry because he was dying or was it he was dying because he was angry?

Of course I didn’t know that he only had one week to live. He didn’t know either.

See nobody knows exactly when they’re going to die and that in itself could make you very angry

And then when you realise it’s too late to do anything except die.

He said, you are very beautiful and I said,  I’m glad there’s something about me that you like the thing is I’m still very intelligent but I’m no longer beautiful except to someone who loves me

The most important thing is that intelligence is not the most important thing in life. But looking at certain people in the public eye we realize a modicun of intelligence is essential

We never really know another person no matter how long we live with them with at least we can be kind to one another. For some of the time anyway.

That’s being intelligent

Stan managed to drive from the Wash to Knittingham without accident.Satan was asleep in the bottom of the mirror only wakening when they stopped for a cup of tea in a Restaurant.
But how can Satan drink his tea?
Stan  persuaded Satan that  if he wore Stan’s hat and coat nobody would know he was  not human.After all, many real humans  don’t look human.So Satan went into the Little Chef for his first experience of human life.They all sat down and ordered tea and pancakes with jam and golden syrup.
Woww,said Satan.I might consider apologising to  the Lord if I can eat this every day
Emile looked puzzled:
An apology is not genuine if  it is done for gain, he mewed.
Gosh,where did you get such a clever cat,  Satan asked Stan?
He just turned up looking wet and hungry a few years ago.Then I taught him at home how to speak properly and the basics of ethics but he seemed to know more than I could explain
Both the men stared at Emile as he lapped up the tea from a  white china saucer.I wonder who he really is, they both murmured in a hushed tone.
I have taught him  to swim in our bath and  sometimes he comes for a ride in my bike basket.Once he fell out yet managed to lure a beautiful lady to bring him home as he is tired of my mistress Annie and fancied someone who didn’t wear crimson and magenta together  nor such extraordinary makeup from Lemmings of Wigan and Warrington.
I’ve never heard of them said Satan wonderingly.I didn’t know women actually bought “makeup.”I thought when girls matured their faces went like that naturally/
That’s a bit stupid, said Stan bluntly.But never mind.Let’s carry on  or Mary will worry
Satan decided he would sit with Emile  and stay out of the mirror.He was beginning to look like a human being albeit a rather ugly one
And so say all of us

Satan  had been,  for  an hour or two ,inside a solid gold powder compact which  a delightful old lady called Dora had been given by her husband Alf.Alas when Dora saw Satan in her mirror she was not amused.

Luckily for Satan the  mirror broke and he was able to escape into the North Sea.
Since Stan and Emile were going home he decided to swim to the Wash and see if he could catch up with them.,(He is well up in geography unlike the author)
Being in the sea was very different from being in the Fires of Hell.Both have their downsides.Still we all have to conpromise  now and then.

But why did God let Satan get out of the mirror?
Alf and Dora stuffed with hot tea and  buttery muffins were paddling back to the car park in Cromer where their silver car was waiting
Why is there so much water on the road,Dora asked her amiable husband.
It’s not  been raining, has it?
Well. I saw some canoes sailing down the promenade.What has happened?
Cromer is a very strange place at the extreme  east end of the Norfolk coast.One moment you are facing North, the next East.This is where houses fall into the sea.Officially it is subsidence but the truth is, it’s the place where demons come onto the Earth and cause devastation with their fiery clothes and weapons.
And here they come, looking for Satan, their master whom God has taken away from his hot home with no running cold  water.
As Dora got out of the car, she saw her shoes were full of water.Why even the car was flooded despite  being in a high level car park
Don’t buy anything from a stranger on the beach again, she begged Alf.
We don’t know what we are unleashing.I wish we had gone on the cliffs to Weybourne rather than that old pier
Well,I had no idea such a delightful old man  might be in league with the Devil.Though when we see what is happening in  the  world it seems evil is much more sophisticated than  it was when  Fire and Brimstone were the punishment for murdering your wife with wilful intent.

Maybe Satan  was not so evil, just too proud to apologise.
The Mayor of Cromer was on the pier looking at the cracks in the concrete,
Has a bomb gone off, she cried?
Well, not exactly……  there’s a funny story about that Satan has been calling on us and someone tried to drown him,
Who could drown Satan? He is not human.He has no lungs.
My goodness, how intelligent the people of Cromer seem to be.Maybe we should  get them to run the whole country!
Stan and Emile were standing by the Ouse Crossing watching the  swans and sea birds when suddenly Satan  emerged from the swollen water
How did you  get here,Stan enquired tactlessly?  I thought we had seen the last of you.
Satan  looked very upset.
Help me, let me get into the mirror.My servants are looking for me but I don’t want to go with them.I am fed  up with Hell and sin and evil
Emile had a bright idea,
Look there are mirrors on the car.
Stan was not eager to let Satan  hide there but the wicked creature leapt in and cried with relief after taking a nice white hanky out of his hat
I  never thought Satan would weep,Stan murmured unkindly.
God has almost gone and  the order of the  Western world is collapsing.Everything is upside down.
Emile ran into the car and nuzzled against Stan’s old tweed jacket.
I’m frightened,dad, he muttered sheepishly.
So am I said Stan as he looked into the mirror before backing out and hitting an invisible stone wall which had not been there moments ago.
Now,Satan, step to one side  or we will never get home to Knittingham if the mirror is not freed
Satan obeyed,He has fallen in love with Stan and Emile.He wants to live in this quiet city forever.But what will Mary say if Stan tells her Satan is  on her dressing table in the mirror?
Will Stan be sent to see a psychiatrist? Will he be diagnosed with paranoid dementia  and double pneumonia of the mind?
Or will he manage to get Mary to see things his way? Will she see Satan when Stan is out?
We will wait and see

When he went away
He said,”Lehitraot,mama.”
Do vstrechi.
He died, but I’m still here
Yes,in my heart I feel his love.
But why did I live,
And he did not?
Auf wiedersehen
Lehitraot.
Yes,darling,I’ll see you later
,When the sky turns black and all the stars blaze bright
I’ll see you shining in the night.
I’ll see you in my dreams alas.
Do vstrechi.
But why you and not me too?
Araka
I can’t understand
.Lehitraot,beloved.
A plus tard
Some where in this world,you fell
But no-one,not even God, can tell.
God was absent then or in some other place
He’s gone again
.They said He’s died too
,But He didn’t have a mother like you.
Do vstrechi.
My breasts ache and my heart and soul,
My breasts were made to make you whole.
To feed, give love and to console.
A plus tard
And now they ache with grief as my tears fall
.A bientot
My body trembles in the night
As dreams may bring my lost ones to my sight.
A plus
I’d walk across the roughest bleak terrain
If l I could find my loves and hold your hands again.
Do vstrechi
.The bell rings on the ancient clock
As time goes on as normal,  never stops.
Araka
I wish the hands of time could be reversed,
And I was not living with this curse.
People forget that I once had a son.
They think my grieving has been done.
Araka.But grief and loss and pain will never end
Until the curtain of my death descends
Auf wiedersehen.
Meantime I look at flowers and birds and trees
,But it’s really you my deepening insight sees.
Lehitraot.
The inscape of my heart is shown to few.
An artist of the lost would know this view.
I know I want to see just you.
Do vstrechi.
But for me there is no Auf wiedersehen
Never again will you say
What you said that day
Lehitraot,Mama.Papa
A plus tard
Tot ziens.
See you later
See you ,darling
See you soon

How softly sweetly,gently flowers pose
Carnation,orchid ,daffodil and rose.
For their intricate petals form a shield
Yet bees with striped force shall make them yield.
Appearances,both natural and contrived,
Mixed with the wiles of human nature thrive.
As knowing not, we pluck the apple rare
And bite its flesh,with teeth we have to bare.
We too deceive the innocent who pass
Not seeing watchers hid behind the glass.
The windows break,the deep earth quakes;
Seized is the maiden ,he her virtue takes.
Beneath the surface,force and fierceness thrive.
What fearsome, burning God enjoys our lives

Waxy flowers poking through
Snow so white
Flowers so bright.
Made me think of you.

I see once more your just washed hair,
Soft as snow,
On pillow.
Now my bed is bleak and bare

,
Face alight,flower to sun,
I loved you.
Love so true.
Fear by love,overcome.

Cyclamen in the snow,
Pink and red,
Now frozen,dead.
Love was,oh,so long ago.

But never gone from in my mind.
Thoughts so deep,
Upwards seep.
Love was gentle,love was kind,

Always in my mind

Highly defective people. How to be a winner anyway

The highly sensitive merman

6 ways out of claustrophobia. (+Try the exit first)

Repression: the way out of your schism.

The naked person’s guide to shyness/politeness/dryness.

Heal your soles and other useful prayers

The wryly tentative person-

The advent  of hell on earth and other short stories

The highly inimical person

How to change your blame.

God be grateful to me, a winner. The new guide to prayer for narcissists.

https://www.rte.ie/culture/2025/1202/1546857-poet-tom-paulin-wins-2025-pen-heaney-prize/

Looking out across the River Lee

I could not see a place where you might be.

Tower blocks high and low stung both my eyes.

What use are sisters when they seem to die?

I could not see the road to take me home

I closed my lips so none might hear me moan

From another window I looked out

I saw a busy road and heard men shout.

The world was empty to my starving eye.

I saw the ice cream clouds as they went by.

The world I once could see was gone,was bare

I could not see your face,not anywhere.

How could you leave me in this desert harsh ?

The river Lea polluted stinks the marsh

There was no place where little birds could rest.

These feelings were a stone inside my chest.

I feel the grief without that blight despair.

And yet to others everything is fair

Near the Chiltern hills the River Lea

Dances like a lamb in spring,in glee

The water’s pure and sweet like wine, like sun

But all is changing as the river runs.

Industrial use and boats pollute the stream

The dirty water does not mirror dreams

At Hoddesden the mill destroys the scene

There are no Argonauts, no golden fleece.

At ancient Waltham  where the river  slows

I see the ruined monks,where did they go?

King Henry wanted money,wanted all

Soon  so soon,his dynasty would fall.

Then soon the Lea will meet the mother Thames

They run into the sea, the rivers end.

Is this the mystic love that some would like?

In the darkest shadow, hides the light.

When its moment comes the golden gleam

Returns our minds to nature and it’s schemes

The River Lea is merry near the source

At the end, near  human with remorse

It’s easy to be happy when all’s well

But when we are more troubled, who can tell? 

Should we envy grass which floats along?

Should we envy sparrows for their song,?

At least we can reflect then we create

Cheerful  through this world to navigate

The river Lea gets dirty and dismayed

When it gets near London its joy fades

It’s used for power and industry and toil

And so its natural charm has been destroyed

Yet  in the  war we needed all its wealth.

Radar was invented here by stealth

Now that’s all long ago but yet we see

The River Lee still crawls towards the sea

And so in human life it is the same.

Human life well lived may make us  lame

I am not happy because 2,294 views occured yesterday but not via a search engines nor from the WordPress reader

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