How to look and be Bringlish
If you go to a friend’s for supper, never take a bottle of water or wine.Never turn water into wine and never get shrunk even if he is a psychoanalyst
Wash your clothes but don’t iron them
Go out in only a T shirt and jeans at night in winter.
Go to A and E as much as you can except when you have acute coronary syndrome or sepsis
Old grey /beige anoraks look good on most “English” people
Never wear a red hat.They might think you are Father Christmas
Wear skirts that show your thighs off or leggings that show everything off.Saves men buying soft porn.But do not charge.
Do wear crop tops and low rise jeans especially in winter.
Jeans with rips are perfect for old ladies.Rip them yourself.
[Teach Yourself How to Rend your Garments £4.99 my e book’]
Wear thick padded down coats in the summer.
Never wear a summer dress unless you are a man
Never wear petticoats and other lingerie unless you are a man
Wear a T shirt saying: Anti-Semitic, moi? while touring Oxford looking for pubs
Wear a T shirt saying: Belgians, go back to Congo..
Wear a T shirt saying: Take that French Leave now
Wear a T shirt saying: No sprechen Sie Deutsch/Believe me.Nein.Ten,When?
Wear a T shirt saying: I feel Rubbish/I feel your pane/I just feel you.
Wear a T shirt that says :I Luv money/I have an oyster card/I have no bike to get on.
Wear a T shirt saying: I want leave to commit crime/I want Remain to leave./I want leave to Remain.
Wear a T shirt that says: Educated in Burton, can’t spell
Wear a T shirt saying: Och aye, President Rump!
Make sure your hair is exposed— both head and pubic.
I don’t understand either but they keep saying, where are you from?
I say, here. But somehow they don’t believe me.Yet.
I am getting my T shirt tomorrow.It says: I’m a Viking and I don’t care.What’s your problem?
How my heart sings 