When red sun drops and cooling night rolls in
Darkness masks both danger and our vision
Ancient minds fear day won’t come again
Courage for the delicate seems thin
We wrestle with our indecision
When low sun drops and a new night rolls in
But now , fresh stricken by the dread of sin
Who protects us from derision?
Our ancient mind fears day won’t come again
As we sleep we’re entertained within
Bold dreams squander all illusion
When sunset comes the darkest night rolls in
In  dreams we see  new life  arising
Then fancy turns to full communion
The ancient mind dreads day won’t come again
Despite such angst, our sacred life began
When sperm leaped up in proud confusion.
When deep sun dropped and a new night rolled in
All human hearts cried,Day shall come again”

I’m in an ocean wild in my small boat

I cannot steer and with no power I float

I feel afraid, the waves are fierce and high

If  I’m washed away then I will die

I have no mobile

phone,I  have no light

All around are waves, a dreadful sight

Where did I lose my way, my sense, my skill?

Who can help me now, if that’s god’s will?

Sometimes we feel stronger in control

Deluded by illusions on we roll

Feeling frightened feeling small and lost

We try to carry on and count the cost.

Yet what may help may be inside, not out

The voice we hear is small , it will not shout.

Despair itself can heal if our mind’s still.

No social media posts, no unmet bill

And as we learn how weak we are, and rest

Another hand will steer but can we trust?

Instead of seeking power must  we give in

It may turn out in losing we will win.

Instead of proving self to be the power

Something quite unknown has won the hour.

We see the turtle dove as it flies near.

Let the unknow  hand be that which steers.

When I was a child I used to repeat the words during mass as follows

Lord have mercy

Christ have mercy

Lord  have mercy

I wasn’t sure why we were asking God for mercy. I didn’t know about the war then and certainly did not know about the Holocaust nor about Stalin

Where my childish piccadillas so serious that I needed god’s mercy?

Sometimes my father beat me did he need god’s mercy? Well I realized later he had a cancer at that time and died when I was a so I think his bad behavior was caused by that. It didn’t happen very often but yes it was not a good thing and perhaps he did need a little mercy but nothing like the mercy that Hitler needed.

Of course you wouldn’t get god’s mercy unless you repented of your evil doing and Hitler showed no sign of repentance. I leave it to God to decide on his fate

What is happening in the world at the moment is terrible. It’s horrendous. From Gaza to the Ukraine to Sudan and many other places wars are being fought and lasting for a long time.

Having Donald Trump upend the relationships between all the countries in the world and cause great fear and terror especially in certain immigrants even when they’ve got permission to stay in the country long term.

It’s very hard to weigh up evil and to decide which is worse what is happening in the Ukraine or what is happening in Gaza their render us speechless and innumerate

Evil is unmeasurable because even killing one person is  destroying one entire world.

So now we do need to say the Keyrie

My brother-in-law was traveling home today and as he couldn’t go to church before leaving, he broke his journey in a city in the Midlands where there is a cathedral and went to a service there!

Then he went home and drank a lot of beer.

He has not yet fed the 5,000!

Ray Queer’s cat’s in parquet

Request cats get parts in play.

I forgive you your twins. But you must dissent when you can.

All unmarried versions please report to the press bitterly

Guardian angels leave heaven on sight.

Cheerio, Elaine’s son

Hail glorious St Hat Trick.
Lord, it’s hearsay.
Lord, I’m worser
Forgive all dear trespassers.
Blessed is the foot of thy broom.
Pay for us now and the whore at our death.
I believe in none,God.
The communion of tyrants

Criminals will be persecuted in rhyme
.
Jesus wants me for his angels.
The Ten Demanding Torments are here.
Have you paid for your wrecks yet?
For all the saints who laboured at their tests
For all the painted ghosts
Remember man thy tart is bust
Ash to ash,dust if you must
Forgive us an hour’s trespassing and we shall be in heaven
Please do as you would have fun by.

Do you resent both your sins ?

You are not allowed any descent from the church.

The vital line was drawn with one brush stroke
The way the back leant curving into space
The dance and danger both are thus evoked

Like a play, a drama, fire and smoke
A dance performed so swiftly and with grace
The vital line was drawn with one brush stroke

The heavy bull is pounding,is provoked.
A threat, a man,  intrudes into his space
The dance and danger both are still evoked

See, the  matador throw out his cloak
A   dash of black, and here we see his face
The vital line was drawn with one brush stroke

The mind needs just a hint to  see the whole
We fill the present with our past distaste
The dance and danger, mirroring dark smoke

 Acting both dramatic and displaced 

The artist may still love what she forsakes 

The vital line was drawn with one brush stroke 

he dance and danger ,life and death evoked

Feel so sad and lonely, lost my mind

I dreamed that I could buy one on the net

But now my eyes are bad I’m going blind

Folk that once did love me seem unkind

They don’t want the needy in their set

Feel so sad and lonely lost my mind

Someone’s cut the ties that used to bind

Waking up at dawn my mind’s afrit

My eyes are bad I think I’m going blind

God  have mercy on me and my kind

In the night I’m fearful of rat bites

I feel so sad and lonely, lost my mind

Get out out a pen and write while ink is wet

Make some words or draw – there is time yet

I feel so sad and lonely, lost my mind

Disabled, anxious, afraid of being blind

Getting older suffering too much pain

Losing friends and family,lovers too

Struggling through the ice on cold terrains

Falling down and struggling up again

Feeling sad and lonely feeling blue

Getting older suffering too much pain 

Of all my rich full life what now remains?

Looking all around there is no clue

Struggling through The ice on this terrain

Why does suffering make us feel ashamed?

I still  engage with life and all that’s  new

Getting older suffering so much pain

Must we take our medicine when it’s due?

I thought that I was wise but have no clue

Getting older suffering so much pain

Struggling through this icy bleak terrain

Would you like to be my friend? No,I don’t value him highly

Would you like to fall in love? I’d rather swim through it.

Would you like a new car? I’ve not got an old on

What is your name. No, it’s not, it’s Nat.

What shall we eat tonight? I can chew my nails after putting mango chutney on them I don’t like to eat snails 

but neccessity is the mother of invention Will you saute them in olive oil? No, I’ll stuff them into a tomato You need a big one I’ll crush them I’m my

How cruel cookery can be But not as bad as Goering,Stalin,Hitler or Nero. Snails won’t know that But we know

Where are the children? I didn’t know we had any 

Why are we in bed? Because we are married Since when? Gosh, you’ve got dementia already Well, we do live in a Care Home Wow, only 29 and in a Care Home.

We run it

https://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/02/arts/02iht-defiance.1.19000454.html

Ed 8

The triumph of the three Bielski brothers, Tuvia, Zus and Asael, who fought the Nazis in the deep forests of Belarus and saved 1,200 lives, was unlike anything I had ever read about that dark time. Rather than victims wearing yellow stars, here were fighters in fur chapkas brandishing submachine guns. Instead of helplessness and submission, here were rage and resistance.

I knew of the uprising in the Warsaw ghetto, yet it seemed to stand alone in the popular imagination as the only moment in which organized opposition took root. Yet I have learned that, contrary to the conventional wisdom, the impulse to fight back was everywhere: from the streets of Vilnius to the forests of Bialystok, even unto the concrete slabs of Sobibor and Treblinka, thousands of Jews doing whatever they could, whether seeking refuge in the sheltering woods or recklessly taking up arms against overwhelming odds.

Learning of these defiant acts awakened in me something utterly primitive and deeply personal, a wave of awe, humility and admiration.

And outrage, too. Why, I wondered, had I not known these stories while growing up? Could it be that the necessary commemoration of six million dead had

No mirror for reflection in his mind
He says whatever suits that moment’s wish
Thus he is to truth disabled, blind

Pride and power make all of us unkind.
But reflecting deeply shows us what’s amiss.
There’s no mirror for reflection in his mind

In phantasy, we get what we design.
But fancied love won’t give a fleshly kiss.
We are to truth and justice surreal,blind

To find the truth we cannot be malign
Must view with horror what we once dismissed
Who can use those mirrors in their minds?

Judgement of our leaders is no crime;
For we judge our selves and that is less than bliss
When leaders lie, the world is undermined

He has no self at all, if all’s his wish.
Inevitable catastrophy the abyss
He has no space for mirrors in his mind
Now he is to wisdom doubly blind.

Stan was a very naughty man because he winked at his dear wife before dying and she had no chance to respond.
That is so typical of Stan, she said to Annie, her best friend.
Well, at least he went peacefully.Annie replied in a kindly tone
And to think I had just bought him 6 new pairs of pyjamas.
You can’t blame him for that.You always buy too much, Annie murmured politely
Well, I suppose I like to be prepared, Mary muttered.I felt so helpless as he went thinner and thinner.
What are you going to do with them all, Annie whispered.
There’s only one solution.I’ll have to find a man to fit the pyjamas and marry him
That’s a strange way of choosing a new husband, Annie said in a shocked voice.
In the end however rational we try to be, life is down to luck.
Yes, didn’t Churchill say, chance favours the prepared mind?
It wasn’t Churchill, it was Blaise Pascal.Mary told her in a voice rich with wisdom
Well, why not marry him? He sounds intriguing
He’s dead, Mary responded succinctly
Oh, what a pity.He sounded just right for you, Annie said tearfully.Are we going to the funeral?
I am afraid he died before we were born, Mary said in an anguished tone.
Well, he’s no use.Anyone else you fancy?How about Dante? Annie screamed
Which Dante do you mean?I thought he was Italian, Mary informed her.
It’s not far by plane, though Brexit might be a problem, Annie said wisely.
Let’s be realistic.No dead, great genius will be revived by the Lord to marry me.Mary said as if she were lecturing to a big class on differential geometry and its use in economics.No wonder we had the Depression
That might be blasphemy, Annie informed her.After all, if God is omnipotent he can do anything at all.
To me, he sometimes seems incompetent, said Mary wildly.And of all the lonely people in the world, why should he aid me in my grief? Anway male geniuses are very demanding.I think a cook or chef might be more practical.
Oh, look, we’ve missed Mass again.
We’ve not been for 40 years and just when we decided to go we started talking about these powerful creatures and a husband for you
Never mind, why don’t we wait till Xmas?
And so say all of us.

Or even better wait till next Easter.

https://wp.me/p6JwBS-30

Trust the dark and unseen aspects
Of the life we humans live.
Trust that there is wisdom elsewhere,
To your emptiness to give.

Wait in patience for the time
When inspiration comes at last
Trust in darkness,silence,lowness.
Opposition forms the cross.

Pain is bearable in lowness,
Like the worm in earth I dwell.
When I look I see the sunrise
And I trust all shall be well.

• • C
• 
  I studied the Arts of Love and War.
  I studied higher dimensional geometry.
  I studied other realities
  And I produced a learned article,
  As I love the strange world of the particlel
• .So when the day came I studied you.
  I found I love you so much too.
  I don’t need mathematics to know what’s true
  For my heart has reasons anew.
  Equations have positive and negative solutions.
  Metaphors for Love, Hate and Evolution.
  Reflecting a long mirrored Revolution.
• I love Abstract Geometry,
  And I love knitted Topology,
  Even if it’s a whimsical Tautology.
  It taught me the simple wisdom.
  Of Crocheted Accountancy,
  Knitted boulangerie.
  Strings of theorems dangling,
  Make a very good wall hanging
  And woven Number Theory
  Because it’s so springy and cheery.
  It makes a very lovely bedspread .
  Somewhere to rest my dreaming head.I like the Surface Geometry
  Of your Body,more than I like
  General Relativity,
  Or Algebraic Topology,
  Or even Love Poetry.
  I want to view all of you.
  I need to love,and to hate you, too.
  I study your personal Trigonometry
  Your so solid Geometry.
  Your personal Morphologhy.I love your geniality
  And your cool conviviality
  Love has proved good for us two,
  More certain than Pythagoras’s theorem
  Was thought to be, before Riemann.
  Now all my cello strings are vibrating too.
  What did you do?I’d like to have a dance with You
  To the music of General Relativity
  Will you come and waltz with me
  So we can spin within the Spheres
  Hear music non-Platonic too?
  Subtle harmony,sweet geometry,
  Algebraic symmetry,quizzical homology.
  Radical new cosmology.I am woven and patterned with you.
  We make a fine bed spread too
  Uniting the male and the female view,
  Incorporating the bodily anew.I love to see your corporeality.
  Your eyes and facial originality.
  You’re so whimsical and non-inimical too.
  Let’s unite the sensual
  With the metaphysical.
  Our love hit the critical
  Mass to go into orbit to
  Encircle the entire Universe
  It just grew and grew and grew.
  Now we have much co-creating to do,
  Taking the very long term view.
  And much more lovely dancing to
  The music generated by us two
  In collaboration with
  All that the world is.

Attracted by the light that is enough

We need not look for wisdom somewhere else

Wandering through the world so dark and rough

We may find the secret in ourselves

The sacred is as spare as leaves are fine

No wasted bud no colour in excess

So loving senses decorate the mind

We need not hide from chaos or distress.

The secret Life is here, the everyday

This is where we know the mystic light

Our tongues alone will tell us what to say

Our normal eyes will show us holy signs

for with our shadowed selves we rightly play

Enlightened by the flowers so wild and free

The sacred is on earth for you and me

Humility includes an appreciation that our perception and thoughts about others, ourselves, events, and the world are subjective and tentative.

‘Subjective’ means that others perceiving the same event can have very different interpretations of that event.  For example, we may argue with a loved one or colleague and later they report a very different experience of what they thought the argument was about.

‘Tentative’ suggests that each of us tends to change our own interpretation and perspective of the same event over time.  We ourselves may have a very different experience of a particular argument than 

Another main tool developed by Dr. Robins to increase humility as part of Wisdom Therapy includes visual illusions.  We all have a certain amount of  certainty and arrogance regarding what we think and see.  It turns out the two are interconnected with sayings such as “I’ll believe it when I see it.”  Visual illusions serve to shake up that arrogance and facilitate a humility regarding not only what we see, but bridging that over towards uncertainty and humility regarding what we think, expect, and believe.  That humility tends to arise in late life-span development associated with wisdom.  Visual illusions, Robins argues, facilitate that development in earlier stages.

https://www.wisdomtherapy.com/wisdom-therapy/humility

You seem more real than I do now

Sitting with your arm around my shoulders your presence is bright

Mine is shadowy like a spirit

Yet it’s you who is the spirit

But you’ve got your arm around me and you seem strong

You seem full of light and gold

I’m grey and instubstantial with grief as if my whole body is just tears

But I can feel your comfort; you sit beside me your arm around my shoulders

You’re happy I can tell but I can’t come with you

You’ve gone over to the other  side

You’ve missed a general election and the end of the conservative government.

You’ve missed seeing all these women in the Cabinet

But you won’t mind missing Donald Trump.

Nobody would mind if peace came to the Middle East but it doesn’t seem possible.

When things start off wrong can they ever become right?

Still although you are a spirit it’s our bodies that seem important

With our bodies we can hold and comfort each other

We can dance we can run and jump

It’s the body that matters and all the obsessions with IQ

With fashion beauty brilliance and brains

The simple fact is the body and its wisdom

The wisdom of the body is greater than the wisdom of the mind

But we have to tune in

I suppose you’ll have to go now

And I feel weak without you. I won’t hear your voice.

At the same time it feels permanent as if you always have your arm around me

Even in heaven it’s the body that counts.

Maybe the body is heaven.

Take this and eat.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/may/08/what-will-the-new-pope-be-like-hes-chosen-to-be-called-leo-thats-no-accident?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

If a packet of crisps costs one pound and you eat one every day then in a year you will spend 365 pounds unless you steal the crisps which I do not recommend.

So in 2 years you will have 730 pounds in savings which will be enough to buy you that laptop you fancy.

Inflation is 10% so that will mean that the laptop will have gone up by £73

You will have to give up crisps for 73 more days which is about 10 weeks and that is 1/5 of a year and it f inflation is still  10%

The laptop will have gone up by 2% so you will have to stop eating crisps for longer

Using this method will you ever be able to afford to buy the laptop you desire?

Why not try eating two packs a day for 6 months

Then you will save 1460 pounds in two years when you give them up

I think this is the word that newspapers create their headlines etc etc

Written April 4, 2020

The bowling green, the clack of ball on ball
Across the grass as perfect as the dawn
We sit down on a bench,new painted too
Lumpy paint but good enough to do

Round the edge, the dahlias bloomed like suns
No irony was meant nor overcome.
Goldenrod, geranium were bold
The earth was hot and rich in summer’s hold

Past virgin rhodedendrons , children played
Swings and see-saws, all somewhat decayed
Painted with the same paint as the bench
I saw my father fall, I felt the wrench

Where shall Daddy sit when he comes home?
I have lost his face., my heart lies torn

By the bowling green my Dad would talk

In 1952 he still could walk

We spent the afternoon in Willows Park

At least there were some sparrows

Life was stark

He wore a jacket made of thinning tweed

He smoked cheap cigarettes I love their smell

Though they killed you Daddy I know well.

I did not understand that God was frail

I prayed for you but all to no avail.

The Jews in Auschwitz must have prayed at first

Then singing Kaddish stumbled to their deaths

God cannot be judged though humans can.

Everyone’ a person like I am

Every person is another world

In its Imagination Europe failed

Could Daddy have been saved for ten more years?

Does even the best neighbour really care?

Few will help us mourn the ones we lost

Weeping all alone we pay the costs

Thank you for your gentle ways
Thank you for the happy days.
Thank you for your judgement sure
Thank you that our love endured.

Thank you for your wit and grace,
Thank for your funny face.
Thank you for your deep blue gaze and
Thank you for your warm embrace.

In my dreams I travel deep and low
Into the loving world of long ago
The jacket on the chair ,it smelled of smoke……
The funny tales, he sang, he laughed, he spoke

So faint the memory, strong are its remains
Security and love in our domain
The brushes and the stipplers all stood by
For no-one told his tools that he would die.

On his shoulders, like a queen I rode
So safe and happy on the path he trod.
His voice was clear and he could whistle too
In those days men were used to do

And  love shone from him on my mother dear
She smiled and made us cakes for Sunday tea
What  tragedy to leave  his children five
But in that distant space ,he is alive

The fire as red as any glowing rose
We were dressed so well in  home made clothes
Too happy, needing no words to relate
Our sense of being in this  generous space

I can’t get back to them, I cannot swim
The passages too wet , the light so dim
Yet I feel it in my body faint and clear
Death is not the end of those so dear.

Deep inside our minds, ancestors live
And   to out hearts a depth and breadth they give
Yet missing him,I hover near the place
Where I might dive into his dear embrace

The  table where we  banged our little heads
The chairs so close together like a bed
The teapot  always full, the sugar bowl
The fire, the kettle , pussy cat and coal

The fireplace had its oven  nice and warm
Looking at hot coals made me feel calm
The children seem to play in that   far space
And all around  is love  and on  and on I gaze

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/out-the-darkness/201809/extreme-altruism