Glowing skin a part of your summer that’s not hard to achieve now that we’ve got the greenhouse effect

Yes I’ll make glowing skin an important part of my summer

I’ll go to the Sinai desert, maybe I’ll do some sightseeing. What is the name of the mountain there?

Who wrote that book  Eyeless in Gaza?

He was psychic.

Not just Eyeless either.

Perhaps you’d like to see Abraham’s tomb,  hesitate it’s in Samaria now or is it Judea?

Let’s not worry about where it is as long as they sell ice cream and you don’t have to queue for too long

Will they have a public convenience there?

With  the army and the drones we’ll be wetting ourselves.

Will we be able to get holiday insurance do you think?

I would like to see the sea of Galilee and I’d like to see somebody walking on the water preferably Jesus Christ. But he’s not for hire. They could get an actor but could anyone teach him how to walk on water if he is not the son of God,?

Well going to a hot desert will make your skin glow for sure and if you get too near the fighting it won’t just be your skin that’s glowing

If you’re depressed the shock might do you good and you would then like to come back to England and find that we’ve only had a few street riots and children being killed in a dancing class. And somebody dying lying on the floor in A&E underneath her coat.

The staff said that thought she was a homeless person having a rest but they did not check up when she did not answer her name three times. So it’s a good idea to get some very expensive clothing before you go to A&d and maybe a golf necklace and a diamond tiara. But even then they probably say thought it was artificial and that you’ve bought it in Woolworths in their closing down sale in 1931.

No answer to this I’m afraid there’s no answer

A unique achievement is never happened before. Make a film about it perhaps they would like to make a film because I spent 72 Hours in A&E in the last nine months and believe me  it’s not easy

Although inject you with morphine can you believe it and it’s free all you have to do is break your wrist and catch a serious disease

Now the prime minister is trying to work up a bit of fuss by taking away the winter fuel allowance from the elderly or most of the elderly. Those who  are still alive by Xmas.

Well there’s a lot of very intelligent people in the government now but I think there’s a lack of imagination.

It should be obvious to a newborn baby that the right wing press..  were just longing for something like this then they can spend weeks indeed years saying how dreadful this new government is.

I don’t see anyone reading this right wing  newspapers will be so poor that they are entitled to winter fuel alone even now after the government has changed the rules I don’t see many conservatives are living on pension credit and if they are they shouldn’t  be

Where have they hidden their money? And why did people believe them?

Now if I was you I would not go to the sinai desert because there’s a lot of people trying to get in there at the moment. You might get crushed to death which will save you from spending weeks and months in A and E lying on a trolley with nothing to eat or drink

You never know if you don’t get crushed to death and you managed to go into the holy land you might see a Burning Bush. But somehow I don’t think you will hear a still small voice or a whisper because it’s rathervnoisy over there now.

Jesus wept