https://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/oct/25/susan-hill-books-interview?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other
Day: Jul 7, 2023
I passed out very well
Will you pass the toast?
It depends how fast I’m driving.
Could I have some more butter?
Well you could, but I don’t know if you will.
Will you pass the jam?
No I only pass the cream.
Could you pass the examination this afternoon?
Only if it’s on the M25.
Could you pass the parcel round?
In theory yes. Why would I?
It night break the ice at Christmas
That’s all very well but will it melt
Have you open the newspaper yet?
I shall have to iron it.
I hope you won’t do that to the butter.
Who has heard of creased butter?
Is it something like greased lightning?
No it’s more like pleated thunder.
But the pleats can’t be permanent.
Few things are permanent and that is what is so cheering about life.
I have made a hundred mince pies.
When did you learn to count?
When you began to steal them.
I wonder if that would work with children?
Do you think children could make mince pies?
Not unless you like them raw.
Could you make the bed today?
I ll have a look at the instruction leaflet.
That’s what you said when I wanted to start a family.
Unfortunately it was in Hebrew.
If you had made the bed before we got married.
You’re just so lazy you want even fly to Hebrew for me
Is it modern or ancient?
It’s the same country whether it’s modern or ancient.
You need to put a watch on your tongue.
Why, do you want to time our kisses?
Well it is vital.
Is it one of the vital signs?
It depends what you are judging.
I’m wondering whether to leave our marriage.
Where?
I have a feeling that we don’t listen to each other.
What?
Time is nearly up
When?
I thought we could try free love
I suppose once the divorce comes through.
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Giving birth in modern Britain
After meeting with other mothers with similar experiences, one woman, who was Indian, said it had not been noticed she was haemorrhaging because of her skin colour. One woman was told to “be more careful” when she bled on the floor, another was told by a midwife “if we gave pain relief to everyone it would bankrupt the NHS”.
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Symptoms of PTSD suffered by many women after childbirth
Did you hear me?
George Bernard Shaw put it like this: “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
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The hospital has got some new wards.
The corridor is wasted on traffic
Here’s a bed with a screen
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Portaloo Doom
What a wasted space is a corridor
Like a bullfight without any matador 1
We can have three commodes
They won’t come to blows
What on earth is the hospital waiting for?
We don’t need a bedpan these days
Like we don’t need a church for our prayers
The old can wear nappies
They keep babies happy.
Just clean them all up once a day
Patience don’t need their own bathroom
A porta loo has very few fumes
The porters won’t like it
But I don’t think we’ll fight it
As long as it’s not shown on zoom.
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100+ words for ‘portable toilet’ – Reverse Dictionary
Redress the balance: Being steady on your feet – Reader’s Digest
https://www.readersdigest.co.uk/health/wellbeing/redress-the-balance-being-steady-on-your-feet
There are three components to balance. The first is the visual system, which shows us whether we’re tilting. Then the vestibular system in the inner ear sends information to our brain about the motion of our head in relation to our surroundings. Thirdly, proprioception is our body’s ability to sense its location, movement and actions.
“People with ear problems that cause dizziness […] are more likely to have balance issues”
People with ear problems that cause dizziness, or with joint problems or muscle weakness are more likely to have balance issues. If you suffer from dizziness, see your GP to find out the reason.
Get your strength up
Exercise goes a long way to helping you stay steady on your feet
But there’s a lot you can do yourself to improve physical strength. If you exercise, you’re ahead of the game. One study found that a group that did 32 weeks of resistance training improved their ability to stand on one foot by 25 per cent and another group that did 32 weeks of aerobic exercise increased theirs by 31 per cent.
” If you exercise, you’re ahead of the game”
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Otherwise, improve your balance by walking, cycling or climbing stairs – this will strengthen muscles in the lower body – or by practising yoga, pilates or tai chi. Or simply practise balancing on one leg – hold onto a chair to begin with, if necessary.
Read more: Sex and ageing: Fact or fiction?
Read more: How to protect your hips
Keep up with the top stories from Reader’s Digest by subscribing to our weekly newsletter
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Reader’s Digest is a member of the Independent Press Standards Organisation (which regulates the UK’s magazine and newspaper industry). We abide by the Editors’ Code of Practice and are committed to upholding the highest standards of journalism. If you think that we have not met those standards, please contact 0203 289 0940. If we are unable to resolve your complaint, or if you would like more information about IPSO or the Editors’ Code, contact IPSO on 0300 123 2220 or visit ipso.co.uk
There are three components to balance. The first is the visual system, which shows us whether we’re tilting. Then the vestibular system in the inner ear sends information to our brain about the motion of our head in relation to our surroundings. Thirdly, proprioception is our body’s ability to sense its location, movement and actions.
“People with ear problems that cause dizziness […] are more likely to have balance issues”
People with ear problems that cause dizziness, or with joint problems or muscle weakness are more likely to have balance issues. If you suffer from dizziness, see your GP to find out the reason.
Get your strength up
Exercise goes a long way to helping you stay steady on your feet
But there’s a lot you can do yourself to improve physical strength. If you exercise, you’re ahead of the game. One study found that a group that did 32 weeks of resistance training improved their ability to stand on one foot by 25 per cent and another group that did 32 weeks of aerobic exercise increased theirs by 31 per cent.
” If you exercise, you’re ahead of the game”
null
Otherwise, improve your balance by walking, cycling or climbing stairs – this will strengthen muscles in the lower body – or by practising yoga, pilates or tai chi. Or simply practise balancing on one leg – hold onto a chair to begin with, if necessary.
Read more: Sex and ageing: Fact or fiction?
Read more: How to protect your hips
Keep up with the top stories from Reader’s Digest by subscribing to our weekly newsletter
RELATED CONTENT
CBD oil: Benefits, uses & best UK brands in 2021
5 Types of bodily pain – Marietta, GA
Can gossip be good for you?
5 Ways regular exercise keeps your mind fit
null
COMPANY
ABOUT
FIND US ON
SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTERS
SIGN UP
Enjoy all the latest stories, tips, news & advice
Reader’s Digest is a member of the Independent Press Standards Organisation (which regulates the UK’s magazine and newspaper industry). We abide by the Editors’ Code of Practice and are committed to upholding the highest standards of journalism. If you think that we have not met those standards, please contact 0203 289 0940. If we are unable to resolve your complaint, or if you would like more information about IPSO or the Editors’ Code, contact IPSO on 0300 123 2220 or visit ipso.co.uk
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The music
Our music is a late Beethoven string quartet.
Although I can’t see you,I know
You are listening; the architecture of my heart
Is structured round this form
alone.I sit here dreaming hearing the bows
as they most beautifully cause vibrations
sending the depths of love through the air;
as also do the strong yet gentle bells ringing
on the collars of goats on a far away mountain.
I know it’s your music I heard it
when I first looked into your shadowed eyes
and knew who you might be.
A pebble is tossed languidly into a lake
yet ripples spread out across the world.
Such deliverances as we find will only
link us further,as we dance,the elegant dance
of the knowingly brave
who never give in,
but will always keep in step with the world
as it turns unseen past flashing silver stars
until its time has come.
Yet the music we create remains for ever
floating through the air,
like perfume of these late roses
as I walk down the garden
and into the intolerable green newness of this tangled wood,
which startles me with its violent wistfulness.
Oh,come now…I hear your footstep on the road.
It’s the wind sighing eloquently,
knowing you have gone away
into the dark and the deep.where new life is formed
and I wait for you,fierce yet kind, with tender love.
I offer my heart to the world
and the music takes
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Normopathy: The Unhealthy Desire to Be Like Everyone Else
Original sin
The sin a child is born to is not hers;
For mother’s body’s sacred with its grace.
The sin a child is born to,it is ours
Yet ,at a baptism will the priest declare:
Out ye demons,leave this infant’s space.
The sin a child is born to is not hers
The infant naturally speaks in tongues of fire.
The Spirit moves eternal in its trace
The sin a child is born to,it is ours
The path we learn to walk ‘s already there
The rules and laws were written with no haste
The sin a child is born to is not hers
A child born now is marked by Iraq War
A child born now, in paranoia’s traced.
The sin a child is born to,it is ours
Oh,look upon the infant’s holy face
Beatific vision is there traced
The sin a child is born to is not hers
The sin a child is born to,it is ours
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Smokey Road near Hythe
Leaving Elham driving South to Hythe
Driving by the stubble through the smoke
As if the very earth was all aflame
The Saxon cliffs provide a steep old road
By the shore the sea was teal and glowed
The hinterland was barley, sun and light
The crops up in the North were never rich
For us Northern people , such a sight
Now the Channel Tunnel is nearby
Motorways with lorries either way
Yet I remember Dover,Deal, and Hythe
The little woods where children used to play
ÎThe Saxon cliffs are wayback from the sea
The Saxons would be startled, could they see
How my heart speaks 