I have a patio with 2 steps into the garden between shrubs so I have put some tubs of shrubs and a clothes airer, there not to mention some plastic buckets and a broom..So no human being can easily go down there.I can’t unless I have my sister here or a friend
If the dogs come in then they will have to go out wherever they got in or be air lifted out.
Mary was just running out of the front door when she realised she had not combed her hair.She looked around and found a small brush labelled,”For nubuck and suede shoes”.Peering into the old mirror she ran it though her gold and silver hair,powdered her nose with her Estee Lauder natural beige foundation in powder form and slapped some coral lipstick on with haste.. and accuracy.
Right,that’s it,she thought.Enough to show willing.
She met her old friend Maureen at the bus stop.
Have you been seeing Joel again? Maureen asked naughtily.
No,I’ll be damned if I see him again,Mary said shyly.He told me he was living alone in a large house up the hill, then I met him with his wife.Who was he trying to fool?
Maybe he hoped you would not notice?
Not notice what,her wedding ring?
Luckily the bus came down the road and stopped beside them.They jumped on and ran to the back. for a gab.
Are you going shopping? Maureen asked.
No,I am going to take some photos of the jazz band playing on the pavement by the bank… but I told Stan I was going to the pharmacy to buy some Vaseline….
Why,does he not like you taking photos?
Not when an old boyfriend of mine is in the band.
Exactly how old is the boyfriend?
About 69 I guess.
Well he’s not that old!
He is an ex I should have said.I knew him in primary school and used to ride his tricycle.He was my first love.We were only 5 years old.I think it was his red curls and the tricycle that attracted me… but we split up when we were 6.
Surely Stan would not be jealous;it is 63 years ago,
And to me it was like last year!Well. you know time does not exist in the Unconscious.
How wonderful.
Yes and no.Good memories can be there but also pain can seem as if it just happened even when it is from 50 years ago.
Have you had a lot of men admiring you,dear?
How would I know?There could be thousands if they were too shy to speak.
You know what I mean!
Not so many.. I had my second when we were 10.He had golden hair and long eye lashes and lots of games in boxes.He was very sweet but we were to young to be engaged so I decided to give men up and study mathematics instead as that has its own icy beauty…
Wel,,nice meeting you.Have you dyed your hair;it’s got brown streaks.
Oh,dear,Mary thought.Is it shoe polish? But who polishes suede shoes nowadays?
Stan was following Mary on his Face Bike.He was watching her from behind the bike racks in front of the HSBC Bank…
Mary had had many bikes in her life.. what would a fortune teller make of that,he asked himself.
Still,she had no idea Stan was nearby as she wandered nonchalantly along the grey pavement in her Rosella dress and Gabor suede Mary Janes..
Now then, where shall I go to take the photos,she thought…maybe I’ll sit outside this Coffee Shop and pretend to feel faint if anyone asks me to buy coffee…
she opened her bag and took out her Kindle Paperwhite… she was reading,
Creative Imagery and Healing… and also Cars and Peace by Leo Wholeshaw.. a futuristic novel set in North London.In the first chapter a grandmother has been beheaded in North London.
That’s a bit far fetched,Mary had thought when she read it but in fact Wholeshaw had been right on the ball when he wrote his e book and self published it on Cramuzon for £3.89…
I wonder if I’d like to write a novel, Mary mused… just then she saw Stan on the other side of the road talking to a blonde bombshell dressed all in pink.
I see,she thought.He didn’t know I’d be here as the pharmacy is half a mile away.
Who is watching whom?Well.the morals be lacking but my grammar is incorrect, damn it!
And so swear of us
24 Quotes About Creativity and Creative People
“Most people won’t realize that writing is a craft. You have to take your apprenticeship in it like anything else” (Katherine Anne Porter).
Do visit David’s inspiring blog
Last Thursday I got up at 2 am to pee.I’ve had vertigo for a while.I fell and hit the back of my head on the corner at the junction of two walls.I didn’t realise how bruised it was till I went to bed the next night.Then at 6 am I had an attack of variant angina.Luckily I had my bag near me
These events happened after my neighbour came to my door as her dogs were in my garden. actually they came into the house.They have 6 dogs,2 are living in a shed.These two have been here before and I didn’t mind as they are big but friendly ;but she came round and yelled at me saying my fence is not strong enough.Why do people with 4 adult kids want 6 dogs in a suburban street?
I am thinking of building a wall. with snipers on it.The Cold War lives again
The irony is that my end fence is actually in their garden which is L shaped.I have no access to it from here as there is a shed and a compost heap.My garden is very narrow as it is in a terrace with no side access but it is long [120 feet]
I am afraid to go down there now alone as my vision and my legs are such I might fall… of course the dogs might help me if they found me but otherwise when I’ve been ill and not gone out for weeks noone has rung my bell and asked if I am ok
I apparently turned white and looked as if Imight faint.She then said she didn’t like to leave me like that… did she come back to check?NO
She knew her husband would be angry at her
Then I had the dangerous night
As I am still suffering from the bruising to the back of my head and the vertigo is worse I’ve been recommended not to use my brain much for a while.
So I must stop writing .
Meanwhile I am wondering whether to buy a lot of boulders to put all across the end of my garden and some dog repellent.I am not happy for someone who insults me and attacks me to come through my home and then walk two muddy footed dogs through.
All the dogs are pedigree.I wonder if they are breeding them.;they often get very close to the boundaries of the law… like taking water for their pool fro a fire hydrant
Any ideas for keeping dogs out.A new fence must be built from their side.Suppose they get a St Bernard dog.Must I then provide an even higher fence?
Some dogs get under fences of course.
Any ideas welcome
I am regarded by my other neighbours as a kind, helpful and caring person.But may be that is a mistake.I should look belligerent and buy a nasty looking fierce dog which frightens everyone.
He said he wanted a battery for his hen!I thought it was clockwork.
The coast of England has been so battered by the ocean it is leaving for a Shelter
.Is it one of those at Blackpool on the Prom?
You guessed!
A battery operated food whisk was unknown in Tudor times.This info is brought to you by Raatchi and Paatchi.Don’t ask why.
Why not?
He’s been watching the TV all day.What does he think it is going to do? Mate with my laptop or apply for citizenship? Go out for a ramble? Emigrate? Shout, oh Exit!
I am cooking my sinner tonight.I reckon I should throw him in the fire.
To think Joan of Arc was only 19 when she was killed…. and I’ve lived here for 48 years.
I’d love a dead duck tonight
We don’t cook live ones
Do you curry them?
They are too small to carry me.
Suppose all the ducks in London got together and caught Doris Swanson
Why?
They’d cook her for tea.
Is she transgender
Yes, he is!
Make him deliver a joke or otherwise the post
The letters boxed
Did they knock him out?
How does one tell?
He would lie on the ground and not move.
Shall I shoot him?
Why?
He moved!
https://theconversation.com/why-we-need-to-find-a-cure-for-social-death-59997
“These are the people who have died before they’re physically dead. Physical death, the degradation and eventual cessation of your ability to function as a body, comes later. Social death is the degradation and eventual cessation of your ability to function as a social being. It happens when you are set apart from the rest of humanity.
It happens when your legal protection and autonomy is profoundly impaired and you have almost no way of defending yourself. Your sense of belonging to a group, culture or place fades and eventually disappears under the pressure of your circumstances, while your roles in life, such as those associated with employment, family and community, are also broken.
Your inter-generational relationships along with your spiritual faith and hope diminish while your physical condition deteriorates. Most importantly, you have lost all meaningful social relationships and are considered valueless in the eyes of society. It is a reality faced by many experiencing profound poverty, chronic illness, homelessness, advanced dementia and forced migration. And by its very nature, it is a reality which is widely ignored.”
In a household large live twelve live beings
Six are human, six are cats and dogs
So in my garden now what am I seeing?
Death to hedgehogs, worms and tiny frogs
The Chinese dogs so strong and buoyant roam
Across my garden where they seek my touch
Alas they don’t respond to , please go home
As my garden is so deep and rich
Apparently it is my fault that they get in
I should erect new fence or build a wall
I’d better suit St Bernard’s from Berlin
I wonder if three metres high ends brawls?
The fence is not accessible to me
If I should die please tell the BBC
In the little shed, lost twigs of hawthorn rot
The hedgehogs and the slow worm are red hot
The sun has dried the planks , the wood is cracked
And by a thunderstorm it’s now been smacked
Hidden, hard to reach earth’s wildness lives
And from the nearby compost comes more warmth
Ripe with beetles,ants and banned to man
In this small venue, life can carry on
Yet now I see large dogs who run about
They come into this sacred place like louts
The wasps may sting, the ants may irritate
The farmer cocks his gun across the gate.
My little secret garden is destroyed
Then by angry neighbours I’m annoyed
Bright sun
Paints a shadow picture
On the white wall
Dried stems
Of Michaelmas daisies
A leaf caught in a cobweb sways
To and fro.
I gaze.
Silence.
With his finger up his nose and his tongue in his cheek it was hard for me to see what kind of man he was.
His lips were pursed.his eyebrows were raised and his ears were bigger than Prince Charles’s.
His jacket had been darned and his trousers had shrunk in the wash.I like that carelesss appearance as long as they are cleanish
He leaned over backwards to help me but alas fell into the duck pond.
Who will I get next from Guardian Jailmates?
I think I might be turning asexual
How about just a flat mate?
Back to the past
How to Cope When Chronic Pain Affects Friends, Family & Social Life
“Planning a social life around chronic pain and illness is hugely frustrating for everyone involved and – for those who are not in it for the long haul – can be swift to dissolve friendships. If you’ve ever known someone who keeps on saying that they want to catch up but never commits, or a friend who is constantly cancelling on you at the last minute, you know how frustrating that flakiness is.
Yet in our ever-erratic, unpredictable illness, our chronic pain can make us mimic that flaky friend to perfection. “On the one hand, we don’t want to over-commit to others and then have to cancel. On the other hand, we don’t want to unnecessarily isolate ourselves too much,” says patient, advocate and author of How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide
How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers, Toni Bernhard.
This poem is written in the sonnet form,
And yet I have my doubts about its shape
Though nearly to that structure it conforms
There may be holes where nightmare faces gape.
It looks and speaks just as a sonnet would
And talks of metaphysical concerns.
Do we conclude, as poets and readers should,
That in our schizoid age we cannot learn?
For humans may be decked in clothes of wolves;
And lambs be dressed in lion’s fearsome furs.
Thus, sense is tricked and problems are unsolved.
Landscapes etched, yet details seem quite blurred.
It looks like one,it feels like one,it speaks;
Yet from these words, does human feeling leak?
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/may/11/vertigo-by-alice-oswald
May I shuffle forward and tell you the two minute life of rain
Starting right now lips open and lidless-cold all-seeing gaze
When something not yet anything changes its mind like me
And begins to fall
In the small hours
And the light is still a flying carpet
Only a little white between worlds like an eye opening after an operation
He kept his tongue in his cheek too long so he couldn’t eat
Starved to death
She had her head screwed on the wrong way
Lack of light
He wouldn’t wear his glasses so fell down a well
Unconscious suicide or vanity led to error
She wore shoes that were too small and died of untreated corns
Died of stupidity or poverty
His brain got stuck on the underground as his head fell off his body.
The glueless disease
She wore a yellow bikini on the beach which attracted a lot of wasps
Need I say more?
Died fighting as men wept
She was baking bread but got into the oven and was roasted with a potato
Bad luck.Only do one thing at a time
Died of hyperactivity and lack of concentration
He was writing a blog post and got sad as it seemed too poor
Then he drowned his sorrows [ and himself]
Moral: meet a few pals on their blogs
I have been making a Kindle book
The formatting has not come out as I expected
I may be able to edit it next week but it has about 300 poems!
If you would like to know where you can get this book for £2.50 please leave a comment
For my next book I am taking advice so it will look better and have a table of contents
How to format oneś own kindle book
How to bend and never seem to stoop
How to make an omelette look well done
How to change your life and when itś done
How to smile when dying in a nook
How to live a life on noone´ś hook
How to chatter to a wraith or spook
How to kill a nun with dirty looks
How to end a battle ´fore it’ś done
I´ḿ a doormat
How to be a gracious and good cook
How to enjoy marriage with a crook
How to be alone when noone comes
How to cook a sausage with burnt thumb
How to be a saint with your own shrine
How to be my husband when he died
Lifeś no chore,Kat.
how
Hi Furry, love your romanesque ;the bard is with me
Nursed were you on Mum’s venom
So you use a hooter to alarm us.
Sing oh layeeeh aye, tease and have fun with God
Play with all us sinners now
And at the sea shore let us take our last breath
With the shells and the sand let us rest
As the ocean moves with the moon and the stars
And all is one
For ever and ever
Amen
This photo belongs to and was made by Mike Flemming
https://www.quotes.net/quote/57977
“Thomas Hardy Quotes.” Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2018. Web. 23 Aug. 2018. <https://www.quotes.net/quote/57977>.
The light of lamps and candles warms the heart
The sun is low in August, wondrous sky
Autumnal shades of red cause no remark
Like flowers fade, from summer clothes we part
We thought the sun would stay, .we told a lie
The light of lamps and candles helps the heart
Yet in my breast I feel a pain quite sharp
Have I any hope for future life?
Autumnal shades of red on leaves will start
The language of my sorrow,I shall parse
Why can’t I a woman have a wife?
The light of lamps and candles stays the heart
Correlation is confused with cause
We are all neurotic as we strive
Autumnal shades of red so bright so right
Is God dead or is he cold, unloved?
See the beggars dying in his dust
The light of lamps in windows I’m outside
Hollows out my life; with truth I lie
1,New Rd
Button
Suffolk
IPS0 0NO
UK
Dear Annette
I meant to write before but seeing you kept mentioning rubbish I had wondered if I should prune my blog and leave only the best poems here.However it is hard for me to decide,I don’t even remember many
I find I have to write a lot of so-so stuff before my mind and heart get working.It’s like exercise.But your letter was so funny, it cheered me up.What a pity we live so far apart.
Maybe we could hang out on Google Mail!I have no idea what it means,do you?
I miss getting letters with handwriting on them.Wondering whose it might be etc.Why don’t we do that? It would be very pleasurable to see your unique writing on an envelops
I had problems with my homework too.I decided to do Double Maths at A level as it would not take so much time up and then I could read novels.I didn’t know why or how we should do Lit Crit yet the English teacher cried when I was not down for A level.I do regret my error as it is a great sociial handicap although my optician who is Jewish says it’s no problem to them to have an intellectual wife.Still I am a bit too old to try another culture as I might mortally offend a hundred people at a stroke, and vice versa
I can see now what a blessing it might have been to read all the great writers and get paid to do it but curiosity also led me into maths as well.To be honest it was somewhat boring for a long time until we reached the higher slopes.Ah, well
Life goes so quickly.I’m reading Plath’s Journals and I see how she worried away so much of her time.That is a big mistake.Use worry for energy
Too much for girls to decide too rapidly when they are so gifted yet also want a family.And her psychoanalyst was not fully qualified
It seems to me the therapist “sold” her a story
I feel deprived of her later work.What a wonder it might have been
I look forward to hearing from you
With love
Mary, Emile and Stan’s old robin
Mary woke up on Tuesday feeling dazed.She had been dreaming of Arnold,her student boyfriend.so sweet and shy.
I wonder where he is now, she thought.Then she recalled he was in fact a world famous cancer researcher.She hoped he had found a shy sweet partner>
Emile was yowling on the landing despite the large bowl of Superior Cat Food he was standing next to by the bookshelf
I believe that people and animals like not just to eat, but to be fed,Mary thought.Stan used to make the dinner but he always wanted her to serve.Emile would eat his food after she stroked him.But who would stroke, Mary?This was a hard and topical question because Mary had stopped eating.However, as she was quite large, she could live for a few weeks on water only.So she mused
Mary put on a pair of purple trousers and a lomg lavender coloured top.She gazed into the mirror wondering why 3 hairdressers had failed to help her style her fair hair.
Now,she recalled Arnold was a Russian Jew by inheritance though he had lived in the USA all his life until taking up research into cancer at the ancient university Mary attended.If she had married Arnold she could have pretended to be religious,converted and then worn a wig.
Annie came running upstairs.
Whatever are you doing,she yelled.It’s 11 oclock! Her make up was melting despite being Max Doctor’s All Day Creme Mousse
I was wondering if I could find a Jewish man who would marry me, purely legally, just so I could wear a wig.
What a load of tripe,Annie retorted.No wonder you’ve had no breakfast.If the man was religious he could not marry a lapsed Christian. Or an agnostic.
If you want a wig just go online.
You have no imagination,Mary answered,I spend half my time wondering what would happen if I did A,B or C.And what I might wear
And then you do D,Annie joked merrily.Or X.
Where are you going in purple trousers,she continued.You should not wear them at your age.
Do purple trousers have a meaning,asked Mary.I got them in Windsmoor’s sale for £12.
I refrained from buying a jersey jumpsuit as it looked like a burkini and I am a bit nervous now of racists coming into the open.
Very sensible ,Annie told her.I bet the French are jealous because Muslim women and certain Jewish women don’t get skin cancer nearly as often as Christian or agnostic English women.Should we convert?
I don’t think they would like it if it were only to save ourselves from cancer,Mary mused.
True,said Annie,dully
Mary felt hot so they went into the kitchen and made some tea.Annie was wearing snakeskin pyjamas and black patent shoes.
Do you sleep in those pyjamas,Mary asked?
Oh,no.These are day pyjamas or leisure suits ,Annie smiled.They are comfy.You can get them in the market for £2.
Mary heard a strange noise.Stan ,her late spouse ,appeared in the kitchen carrying a big leather bag,
Hello,he grinned.I’ve just come to say I have bought a detached house in Ealing.
But you are dead,Mary whispered thoughtlessly
Yes,I am a ghost but I have bought the house via Dave.I paid cash.
Why Ealing,Mary asked suspiciously
I like that song,Neasden and it’s quite near on the North Circular.And Ealing is healing!
So that’s where you’ve been while I have been grieving,Mary said.On the North Circular Road enjoying Willie Rushton’s songs as you drive
And besides, I want to re-marry and get a wig.
Well,you can get the wig,Stan told her handing her £4,000 in cash from his pocket.But don’t get married until I am in heaven
When will that be,the ladies asked.
Dunno,he cried.It’s such fun in Purgatory where the ladies are naughty but not actually evil.
And so say all the men.Ah,men
1. “Lewk, it’s orver thur, on’t turble.” (Look, it’s over there, on the table)
2. “It woh crackin’!” (It was great)
3. “That’s a canneh nortion.” (That’s a good idea)
4. “She woh raht bonneh!” (She was really pretty)
5. “I’m gorn to’t shop fo’t bah sum bread
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/fettle
Eeh, it were right crackin’ at school t’day
Wot wur tbey sayin’ this time?
Thi said wi can do Greek next year
You’re not doin’ Greek
Why not,our Mam
Ye can’t even spek English
Why, am I not canny enough?
No, we don’t spek English eether
Well, ye shud a thought eh that before y’ad me
Ye mean only people with BBC eksents can bear childern?
Well, we reckoned if we learnt English we’d lose our desire
F’wat, Mam
F’ that! Ye know… It, ye get what ah mean
No,Mam.Can you not spell it our a bit more?
Spell it out, te dad would tan me hide!
Still he must a dunnit,Mam
I dunno, it wer dark.Mebbe it wer the cat, ah thought
Surely the cat’s not mi dad, is he?
It weren’t this cat, it wer another called Billy.
Well, how come I’m human?
You think ye are human, but am telling ye,ye got t’cat’s eyes
Just his eyes? How abaht his whiskers
Don’t be so daft, our Kath,Ye’ve got his hair
But only on my head so far.Willa bi changin’ into a cat as ah mature?
Wi’ll have te wait and see.Put ‘t kettle on.We need some tea.
Why, what difference will that make now.I’m a cat,I’m a cat…. oh, what’ll ‘et nuns say ‘et Convent when ah tellum?
You keep away from ‘et Convent~
Why, our Mam?
Do as I tell you.Never confide in a nun
Well,Ah shan’t let ‘et cat fettle me.Ah’m not that daft
Well, yi can’t do Greek and that’s final
Kyrie Eleison,Kyrie Eleison
Wot’s that?
Oh, nothin’ at all
Christie Horizon
For God’s sake speak English!
I love eating burgers as I leer
Eating cookies; hanging out in bars
I love eating ices on the pier
How my heart sings 