Now I’ve lost’em and mi wits

Mike Flemming


Doctor,doctor  ah feel ill
Gizza sken.Ah’ll mek mi will
Mi mate’s  a woofer .not right spov
Yet  he’s gud at mekkin luv
Now ah’m sick n’tired eh life
Mi pain shoots throo mi like a knife
Wi canna have wa fun in bed
Mi  privates  ache  and that’s not gud
Mi bosom’s gradely, all agree
But they can’t feel mi pain like’me
Mi pongers also feel worn out
When am trollied,’ow, they shout
On Xmas Day , all ookin men
Give me only 5 on 10
A canny lass, I can allure
I swear as  bloody life endures
I found  a ten pun on’t floor
Can a woman ask fe’ more?
Mi ”usband  took his kecks right off
Ye should a’ seen ‘is collie dog!
T’ dog jumped up and bit  his balls
But ah’ve just got it out on bail
I used t’ grumble I ‘ad nits
Now I’ve lost’em and mi wits


Ten slang words from school…
1. oookin (jolly good)
2. spov (very nice)
3. zits (spots)
4. woofer (not very attractive person)
5. pongers (feet)
6. trollied (drunk)
7. kecks (trousers)
8. soz (I apologise)
9. muppet (you silly thing)
10. gizza sken (please may I take a look)
Carol added this…
How about ‘peggit’ (peg it- run for your life)

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