Doctor,I’m running up the walls

Doctor,I’m running up the walls
That’s good.Keep going and you’ll be fit as a fiddle

Doctor,I can’t stand it
I can’t understand it.
Who can overstand it?

Doctor,I’m at the end of my tether.
I’ll give you a prescription for a longer one

Doctor, I can’t go on
Well turn round the corner

Doctor,I have no appetite
Try soft porn
What, for my dinner?
No,  have an egg whipped in  brandy
That sounds like porn too.

Doctor,I can’t sleep.
Where is your bed?
My husband has his mistress in it
Tell him to buy a bigger bed then.
I don’t believe my ears
Shall I write it down?
OK

Doctor,I can’t walk
How did you get here?
I ran

Doctor,I am depressed
When you get better you’ll be amazed how good the world is
If I get better it won’t make any difference to Syria or the Yemen
You can donate money
What, and have nothing to spend on cigarettes and gambling?
Well, it won’t bother you so much
But some things we need to be bothered about!
Too many, that;s the trouble.Just pick two and do your best

Doctor, my neighbour is too  noisy.
For what?
It upsets my cat
Get another cat and make them yowl.
Can I get a cat on prescription
Not yet