My biggest disappointment in life was going to school
How come?
I thought we’d be learning Greek
What in the Primary School when you could not even read English
Well babies here speak English before they can read anything
A good point.
Perhaps they speak Greek too but their parents don’t know.
Why not?
Because they don’t speak Greek.
An intriguing theory
Day: January 18, 2018
How to speak Yarkish
How much is to Yark?
Where is it?
In North Yarkshire.
Why do you speak like that?
Like what?
Well how do you pronounce pork?
Park!
And how do you say Park
Paheck.
Why the heck?
We love the word “heck” especially with no aitch
What’s an aitch?
It’s what we leave off until we pass the 11 plus
Suppose you fail?
Do you mean fehil?
Why the aitch in the middle?
To separate the vowels
You mean the vawls?
Now, you are doing it
On Ilkley Mohor ba’ht ‘at
Be orf
You must mean, be arf
To b or not to b
To h or not to h
Go and come no more
Frum Hilkley Mohor ba’ht ‘at
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Power destroys the lives of all its whores
Whirling in the winter wind, dead leaves
Dry and brown and broken ever more
Send their substance to the souls bereaved
People pray and yet do not believe
Christ was born and angels him adored
On the winter wind float dying leaves
By our spirits may we be deceived,
Even in the heart’s most hidden core,
Sharing presence with all us bereaved?
Look into the sun and fire perceive
Power destroys the lives of all its whores
On the wind float lingering, burned out leaves
For men of power think they can God deceive
Yet even kings will die despite their force
To lie in marble graves, of love bereaved
Wrapped in cloths of linen, cream and coarse
With no coffin, Jesus high is borne
With the wind, with ashes , with dead leaves,
The photons of his love light hearts bereaved
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The automated confession
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1917-2017
The men we lost in Europe,it destroyed
A generation childless ,loveless,dumb
It’s madness making suicidal wars
Women lost their lovers so employed
Were made to live in chastity like nuns
The men we lost in Europe,love destroyed
In our own heart love dwells at the core
And like attracts what’s like itself to come
It’s madness making suicidal wars
Does it matter if we’re nuns or whores
Life flows like our blood does when we’re done
The men we lost in Europe,us destroyed
Should we wonder what our life is for?
Is this what they call a practice run?
Is madness causing suicidal wars?
Kings and Queens sat on their idle thrones
While the poor fought till they were but bones
The wars we won in Europe,it destroyed
Do men enjoy these everlasting wars?
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Red berries
Yes, red berries glow in clear sunlight
And holly tree’s sharp leaves give home to birds
But I am weary, ready for the night
Yes,in winter no mosquitoes bite
But coldness slows the flow of mind and word
Yet red berries sway in breeze and light
If I were a bird, I might take flight.
To ourselves compassion must be turned
For all are weary, ready for the night
Compare a nuclear bomb to nature’s might
Violence and destruction come unearned
While blood red berries boast in base sunlight
Crowds are gathered ready for a fight
Verbal violence lashes and hate burns
Now I weary, ready for the night
One wrong word might make our world ignite
Danger sends its lovers their invites
While red berries taunt in love’s sunlight
I am weary, ready for the night
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Poetry of WW1
By Mike Flemming 2018 Copyright
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/70139/the-poetry-of-world-war-i
On Receiving News of the War
Snow is a strange word;
No ice or frost
Have asked of bud or bird
For Winter’s cost.
Yet ice and frost and snow
From earth to sky
This Summer land doth know,
No man knows why.
In all men’s hearts it is.
Some spirit old
Hath turned with malign kiss
Our lives to mould.
Red fangs have torn His face.
God’s blood is shed.
He mourns from His lone place
His children dead.
O! ancient crimson curse!
Corrode, consume.
Give back this universe
Its pristine bloom.
(Cape Town, 1
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What has water got to do with it?
How much does it cost to get a hair cut?
Sorry, we don’t do just one hair.
How much is a shampoo?
Ten pounds more than you expect.
How much is a blow dry?
Sorry,I am out of breath.
Can you dye my hair?
I can dye it but I shan’t
Would red hair suit me?
For what?
Will a perm attract men?
No, they are too impatient to sit for that long
How shall I look when I’m dressed up?
The same.
Am I overweight?
No, under-height.
Do you like my new coat?
Stop fishing for compliments.
Shall I have a full body massage?
No, get married again
I can’t get married again
Why not?
I have never been married
Can I date on the Internet?
In theory.
Do you have to pay for joining Soul Mates
Check your grammar.
Why are pronouns important?
To or for whom?
I see
Can I go to Bath now?
Not unless you’d like to get in with my husband
I mean on a train
Sorry, the bath is not on a train.
I was told to go to Paddington.
Why, is it a good place to pick up men?
I don’t want any men,I want Bath
I know you are foreign but we say ” a bath”
I want to get to a Bath as I am meeting my sister there
As well as my husband.I wonder how much hot water we have
What has water got to do with it?
I see, you want a dry bath?
It would be nice if it were dry as I have no mac
No,dear.You don’t need clothes in a bath
You mean they are all nudists?
Who?
The Citizens of Bath.They can’t come here anyway.
Nobody can except my husband
And you
Well, we are married.
Can you prove it?
We have the same surname
You might be siblings
Wow, that sounds grand but I only speak SQUINGLISH
And so say all of us
How my heart sings 